oh, man.  he tries to pull his finger free, glances up and freezes. ahead of bill and his platoon is a wall of dead american troops - rotting in the sun. his men stand staring at the wall aghast. a private beside bill snaps and opens fire, yelling wildly.
knock-it off! chris! knock-it off! bill grabs him with his free hand and shakes him, his m- 16 hanging painfully from his other hand.
will you knock it off? jesus. what do you think? thunk. a soldier standing next to bill drops, the back of his head sprayed over nearby soldiers.
(trying to free his
well!?
what the fu! why isn't anyone firing? his men stare back at him, frightened.
take her out! the soldiers open fire - a deafening roar. the woman keeps on running as the foliage above her head is shredded by bullets. no shot comes close. bill watches amazed.
i'd like us to begin this with a mantra. if we could all breathe in and then out, holding a long "eeeeee." the officers stare at him. there are sniggers. bill stares them down.
breathe in.  and out.
we are a hollow army, gentlemen. vietnam has crushed our soul. we are traumatized and melancholic. we are ashamed. that is why i have brought you to this place of sanctuary. here we can mend our wounds and dream our dreams. my dream is of an america that will lead the world to paradise, an america that no longer has an exploitative view of natural resources, that no longer promotes consumption at all costs. i believe this is america's destiny.
but to achieve it we must become the first superpower to develop super powers. we must create warrior monks - men and women who can fall in love with everyone, sense plant auras, pass through walls, stop saying mindless cliches and see into the future. i want you to join me in this vision. be all you can be. bill finishes. we track along the officers' faces - really not sure what to do or say. we reach one officer who looks like lee marvin. this is brigadier general dean hopgood. his eyes are shining with excitement.
i am lieutenant colonel bill django. from now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your mouth will be "sir, yes, sir!" do you understand?
if you complete this course you will be a psychic weapon, an angel of death, our enemies worst nightmare! until then you are nothing! less than nothing! do you understand?
hey! lets dance!
okay! give it everything you've got! that's it! the jedis start to dance more frenetically, eyes closed, jumping about the room, waving their arms.  bill notices lyn, shuffling self-consciously from foot to foot.
what's your name son?
where you from?
tough place to grow up?
you've gotta free your feet before you can free your mind, lyn.
but that isn't true is it lyn? you can dance. it's just someone told you not to.
well, i'm your commanding officer lyn, and i'm ordering you to let the dance out! lyn starts to dance with a little more abandon.
c'mon goddamit! dance! let it go! let it all go! lyn starts to go for it. and it's true - he can dance.
welcome to the heroes journey lyn. lyn smiles shyly.
okay remember everyone, we don't officially exist as a unit so i'm afraid there's no coffee budget. bring your own coffee. oh, and no solid food for the first week. as the track continues we.
okay, only when you're ready. the jedi nods nervously, hesitates, starts to walk on the coals, almost immediately starts to scream.
okay. larry? larry rolls his eyes up in his head, speaks in a high wavering voice with a bad cockney accent.
lyn? lyn stares at his hands, focused. he looks up suddenly, puzzled.
bravo zulu, lyn. outstanding. larry looks daggers at lyn.
aikido is a vehicle for harmonizing ourselves with the universe and the way. look upon these sessions as an opportunity to discover yourself and your training partner in a loving environment.
notice how lyn's circular motions turned larry's aggression back upon him. good work lyn. a chair flies through the frame, just missing lyn's head.
(without looking at
rank, medals. these things mean little to the jedi. but growth in spirit, in wisdom, in psychic power, these things earn our respect. he presents lyn with an eagle feather.
native americans believed that when one received an eagle feather, it was the mark of love, of gratitude and ultimate respect. only true human beings may carry the eagle feather. he gives the feather to a deeply moved lyn, as the other jedis applaud. larry watches lyn with hate.
and?
that's a lie!
that's a.  well the hooker thing is definitely a lie! the officials look at him as if he were satan himself.
continue the work, lyn. the world needs the jedis, now more than ever. lyn can't speak. bill hugs him and walks off, the gates closing after him.
hello lyn. lyn is too choked with emotion for a moment to answer.
hello bob. bob is too amazed to reply.
gonna get some ice-cream. larry waits until bill has left before turning back to lyn.
the feather. twenty thousand dollar fine for taking an eagle feather. this one's off a turkey. you just die the tip black. don't tell lyn. bill stares at the feather.
none of it was real.
i just saw timothy leary.
i know. he's had an idea.
i put it in the main water tank as well.
that might have aroused suspicion. but don't worry. over the years i have built up a massive tolerance to all narcotics.
in the name of the new earth army and loving people everywhere i'm liberating this base!