how are you? townsend p. locke, from chicago. call me towny. i'm here to attend a paper manufacturers' convention and, frankly, to have a little fun, dammit.
this is my first night in town and i'll consider it a ghastly omen clouding my entire ten days, if you don't consent to have dinner with me. anywhere you like.
 never mind how you're dressed. they know me. i'll say you're with the rodeo. there's always a rodeo in new york, dammit. besides, you look very elegant.
but, dammit all, i just remembered, we'll have to eat in my room because i have this phone call coming at nine-thirty.
what i like about you, you're such a wonderful conversationalist. so won't that be nice to have dinner sent up?
fifty years ago this was the only hotel in manhattan. my mother always calls me at her bedtime, so i've got to be there.
a drink? i've got some nice gin. if you'd prefer something else, they'll send it up.
it's so exciting. new york. the mad forward thrust of everything. my sense of time here is completely altered.
sometimes it seems to me time stopped twenty years ago. there was this war, there was this handsome young man with quite black hair and he was supposed to die. but he didn't. isn't that amusing?
enough about me. i'm through talking for the evening. now i want to hear about conditions in the west. the romance of the west holds a tremendous power over me. mother was actually a pioneer woman, can you believe it? when she calls, i'll introduce you and she'll be so thrilled.
i was so childish with her.
what?
oh, difficult, it's so difficult. you're a nice person, joe -- i should never have asked you up -- a lovely person. oh, how i loathe life. i loathe it. please go. please.
no, yes. no, i mean yes please go. help me to be good. come back tomorrow. promise.
this is terrible. i meet someone who -- then -- wait, i want to give you a present. for your trip. you'll let me please.
please take it. you don't have to be catholic. saint christopher is the patron saint of all travelers. i want you to have it. for helping me be good.
oh. yes. of course. i should have thought. you shouldn't have to ask. that was thoughtless of me. yes. wait here.
here. don't even thank me.
i simply don't have it, joe.
you're wasting your time. there's nothing in there.
i deserved that, i know i did.
i brought this on myself. i'm bleeding, my nose is bleeding, isn't it?
thank you, joe.