mm? thank you, dear. looking for something, dear? why don't you look in your sock drawer? oh. well, try your underwear drawer. well, they must be somewhere. socks just don't get up and walk away by themselves. the closet! that's where they are. we put them in the closet. well, there didn't seem to be any room in the drawers. so gussie and i decided that from now on we'll keep them in a basket on the shelf. jim, i do wish you'd make an effort to be a little less clumsy. excuse. sorry. moment, dear. oh. cut yourself? why don't you get an electric razor? ridiculous! bill cole's been using one for years. that's silly. bill's beard is just as tough and coarse and -- you don't have to carry on so. i only said, why don't you get an electric razor? stop writing advertising copy! hurry up, dear, you'll be late for breakfast. now dear, there just isn't any point in sending your children to an expensive school if you're going to undermine the teacher's authority in your own dining room. and so is your children's education. it certainly is. joan, every time your father and i have a lively discussion we aren't necessarily bickering. what is it, dear, another english composition? jim, you really might take a little more interest in your children's education. there must be more to it than that. isn't there, dear? i wish you wouldn't discuss money in front of the children. funkhauser? oh, mr. funkhauser! uh -- better ask him to come up. oh -- uh -- darling, mr. funkhauser's here. you remember, bunny funkhauser, that clever young interior decorator we met at the collins' cocktail party? well, i imagine he's brought the -- uh -- estimates. darling, you know how long we've said we've got to do something about this apartment, and, well, he called last week, and i had him come over, and he's got some simply wonderful ideas! why, no, dear. that couch is terribly functional. darling, please! children, you'll be late to school. run along and -- never mind, dear. good morning, mr. funkhauser. you remember mr. blandings? jim, just wait till you hear. he's got some wonderful ideas for the foyer. we want this room to be very gay, dear. something in bright reds, yellows and greens. dear, it's a wonderful notion. jim, we haven't even discussed the rest of the house. now darling, you -- you just don't go to a man like funkhauser and ask how much it's going to cost before you even know what he's going to do! it's our home, jim. betsy was practically born in this apartment. closets! you wouldn't even let him get to the bathroom! the way you talk, jim blandings, you'd think i was some kind of congenital idiot! you can just get out of here! it's simply charming! that is, for an old house. wouldn't that make the house over a hundred years old? well -- well -- i -- suppose as long as we're here. it does have possibilities. do you think we can get it? now don't lose your head. it's wonderful, jim! that master bedroom with those two closets! funkhauser could do wonders with this -- you certainly have a lovely place here, mr. hackett. jim? uh -- jim? i was just wondering, dear. ten thousand dollars is such an awful lot to offer -- that is, for two people who don't know anything at all about real estate, or anything. i mean, don't you think perhaps we should have asked someone's professional advice? well, bill knows about these things and -- it seems very peculiar that when your very best friend happens to be one of the very cleverest young lawyers in new york city -- children, you haven't even seen this house yet. well? oh, dear. maybe we should have gone a few dollars higher. dear, i told you. i said we should call bill -- forty dollars an acre! "incidentally, mr. hackett has been a little over-optimistic about the acreage. it will probably survey somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty-five acres, more or less, but i feel sure" we were just going window shopping and so far it's cost us eleven thousand five hundred dollars and they even made us pay the commission! i wonder if we could get another two year lease on the apartment? i think bill's absolutely right. our house. our home. our thirty-five acres. well, you certainly aren't much of a help. the house and the lilac are just the same age, bill; if the lilac can live and be so old, so can the house. it just needs someone to love it, that's all. i think you'd better contact mr. apollonio. it has charm, hasn't it, mr. apollonio? and yet still be functional. darling, we'll get our own experts. you mean. for the same money. we could build a brand new house? i think it sounds fine. it's very nice, i'm sure, but -- uh -- well -- doesn't it seem just a little bit conventional? you could always move the chimney somewhere else, couldn't you? no, you'll find mr. blandings never quibbles about pennies. but we've got the nicest vacant lot in the state of connecticut. it's impossible. i don't see how we can cut another inch. well, it just doesn't seem possible -- for a house with such small rooms. what's that? but what does it mean? i beg your pardon. if we're going to eliminate anything, we'll lose that ridiculous play room in the basement with that great big poker table. we've got thirty-one and a half acres. go out in the back and do a little gardening. i'm sorry. we couldn't possibly. i refuse to endanger the health of my children in a house with less than four bathrooms. what's so funny. now girls, i don't want to tell you again. excuse me. why, bill! girls! girls, say your good nights and off to bed without another word. you keep that in mind, dear. it'll help prepare you for motherhood. and we'll just forget about that extra bathroom. now, jim, you can't do that. what if something should happen? you can't leave the children unprotected. not if you cash in your policies. good night, bill. what a wonderful friend. what's that? that's a fine thing to say about a friend of fifteen years! would you prefer it the other way around?! because he can't find another girl as sweet and pretty and wholesome as i am. darling, let's not be silly about this. it's not bill, it's the house you're upset about. of course, darling. we're not just building a house -- it's a home. a home for ourselves -- and our children -- and maybe our children's children. twenty-one thousand! we've only asked for the barest necessities -- where are we going? it wasn't exactly a decision, dear. we discovered the trout stream dries up in august and the rest of the year it's polluted. jim! thank you, dear. what do you mean, "what do you mean?" mr. zucca just explained. he's going to use dynamite and blast until he gets rid of the rock. if it does, we can always get mr. apollonio. he raised the normandie. i don't know. three weeks now at four dollars and fifty cents a foot. mr. tesander, just for the record, of course, what ever happened to water? two pennies. not the dining room, dear, the living room. there's the fireplace. it's not the breakfast nook, it's the powder room. stop it! stop it! i'm just sick. from the outside this house looks like a grain elevator, and on the inside everything's miles too small. what's that? that noise -- listen. it's coming from the closet! you know, dear, it's just possible the lock worked for you and not for bill. thank you. oh, dear. what are you going to do? in case of emergency -- break glass. come on, bill. never mind, betsy. dear, i'm going up to the place this afternoon to see about landscaping. bill's driving me. why do you always say, "what do you mean," when you know perfectly well what i mean and what you mean? he's only being helpful. another word and you don't get your laboratory. what is it, dear? jim, what's the matter? well? now i want the living room to be a soft green. not quite as bluish as a robin's egg, but yet not as yellow as daffodil buds. the best sample i could get is a little too yellow, but don't let whoever mixes it go to the other extreme and get it too blue. it should just be sort of a grayish yellow green. now the dining room i'd like yellow. not just yellow, a very gay yellow. something bright and sunshiny. i tell you, mr. pedelford, if you'll just send one of your workmen to the a&p for a pound of their best butter and match it exactly, you can't go wrong. this is the paper we're going to use here in the foyer. it's flowered but i don't want the ceiling to match any of the colors of the flowers. there are some little dots in the background, and it's these dots i want you to match. not the little greenish dots near the hollyhock leaf, but the little bluish dot between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom. is that clear? the kitchen's to be white. not a cold, antiseptic hospital white -- a little warmer but not to suggest any other color but white. now for the powder room, i want you to match this thread. you can see it's practically an apple red. somewhere between a healthy winesap and an unripened jonathan. will you excuse me? joan, you know father was to take care of the heavy dishes. if they've run off somewhere it certainly isn't very -- heavens! i thought you were. oh, dear, don't tell me i read it wrong. perhaps if you started earlier you could quit earlier. jim, you clean up this mess. i'll drive bill to the station and pick up some cold cuts for dinner. i'll scout around and find you a place in lansdale. now, you're not going to change your mind about coming up? it won't be easy. i promise you a cook's tour of every lamp maker, rug weaver, and antique shop in lansdale county. good old uncle bill. where are you going? tonight?? excuse. excuse. there's no need to be so irritable just because you have to shave at night. well, you're certainly something! you haven't said a civil word all evening. what is it, dear? something down at the office? have you got the new slogan for "wham"? well, it's something. you're certainly upset about something. i can always tell. what are you talking about? did i, or didn't i what? of course i did. if i said i did, i did. you! you're jealous! you're standing there with your face full of soap and you're jealous. because i wasn't in love with him! oh, now you've been reading my diary! i'll just bet! don't be absurd! of course i was in love with bill. in those days i was in love with a new man every week. i'm beginning to wonder! maybe it was those big cow eyes of yours or that ridiculous hole in your chin! maybe i knew that some day you'd bring me out to this thirty- eight thousand dollar icebox with a dried-up trout stream and no windows! or maybe i just happened to fall in love with you -- but for heaven's sake, don't ask me why! i don't know. oh, jim! why don't you take the soap out of your ears? darling, it's awfully late. maybe you ought to go down and lock the doors. jim, you have to get up at six o'clock. goodnight, dear. thank heavens! the children. i'm mrs. blandings. thank you. i was beginning to get concerned. can i make you a cup of tea? goodnight. and thanks so much. you'll just have to spend the night right here. don't worry, snow white, you'll be as pure and unsullied in the morning as you were the night before. poor jim, he sounded so worried before. i certainly hope he comes up with something. darling, you must be exhausted. how did it go? is. everything all right? well. they certainly weren't changes. i haven't done anything! and what i did was. just nothing at all. well -- all i did was one day i saw four pieces of flagstone left over from the porch that were just going to be thrown away because nobody wanted them and i asked mr. retch if he wouldn't just put them down on the floor of the flower sink and poke a little cement between the cracks and give me a nice stone floor where it might be wet with flowers and things. that was absolutely all i did. absolutely. just four little pieces of flagstone. of course i didn't. all i said was i wanted a nice stone floor and mr. retch was just as nice as could be and said, "you're the doctor," and that's all anybody ever said to anybody about anything. it was just four little pieces of flagstone, and i only --- the bridge was roped off and bill had to stay last night. thank you, gussie. you'd better get breakfast started. where were we? how could they be, dear? the bridge was closed. well, it was closed last night. now dear, you're upset, you've got a lot of things on your mind -- that's not what you're thinking. that's a fine thing to say! jim! you love this house! you don't mean that. thank you very much, mr. tesander. what did you mean before about losing your job? will we really have to sell the house? twelve dollars and eighty-six cents. we'll discuss it later.