who are they?
yes.
you gentlemen make yourselves comfortable.
new mouthpiece. been waiting two weeks for this. kids keep swiping them all the time. they use 'em for bean shooters.
all right.
yes.
why, no.
not much. he's an uncle of mine, i think. i never saw him, but my mother's name was semple, you know.
he was? gee, that's too bad. if there's anything i can do to
of course they're going to stay.
oh, yes, i heard you all right. $20,000,000. that's quite a lot, isn't it?
buffer?
cedar, cedar, cedar and budington. funny, i can't think of a rhyme for budington.
well, whenever i run across a funny name, i always like to poke around for a rhyme. don't you?
i've got one for cobb
"there once was a man named cobb,
huh?
oh, i don't mean that. i'm sure i'm going to need your help.
who - me? no.
don't pay any attention to her.
now you keep out of this!
what for?
when?
i don't think we've got any suitcases.
i'm kind of nervous. i've never been away from mandrake falls in my life. kind of like to see grant's tomb, though.
hear what he said? you know how much twenty million is?
goodbye, mrs. meredith! goodbye, jim! bye, buddy! goodbye, everybody!
no, thank you.
oh, i wasn't worried about that.
i was wondering where they're going to get another tuba player for the band.
it's the first time i ever had a suit made on purpose.
oh, yes, there've been a lot of them around here already. strangest kind of people. salesmen - politicians - moochers - all want something. i haven't had a minute to myself. haven't seen grant's tomb yet.
besides wanting to be my lawyer, you also want to handle my investments too?
well, outside of your regular fee, how much extra will it cost?
that involves a lot of extra work, doesn't it?
budington. funny, i can't think of a rhyme for budington yet.
they are? i forgot all about them.
thanks
fine. send it right away. i don't want him to fire arthur.
he was the last baby my father delivered, arthur was.
huh?
oh, yes. yes, i will.
i'll give it a lot of thought. there was a fellow named winslow here a little while ago, wanted to handle my affairs for nothing too. it puzzles me why these people all want to work for nothing. it isn't natural. so i guess i'd better think about it some more.
you go to an awful lot of work to keep a fellow warm, don't you?
why not? who is he?
well, if he has a claim, we'd better see him.
how can he make any trouble for me? i haven't done anything.
what kind of wife did you say she was?
a child? my uncle's?
that's awful. the poor woman should be taken care of immediately.
if she was his wife, she should have all the money. that's only fair. i don't want a penny of it.
gee, i'm busy. did the opera people always come here for their meetings?
that's funny. why is that?
wait a minute. what does the chairman do?
that's what i thought. if you don't mind, i'm rather interested in the treasurer's report. i'd like to hear it.
a deficit! you mean we've lost that much?
it isn't? what is it conducted for?
we own an opera house, don't we?
and we give shows?
but you charge. i mean, you sell tickets?
and it doesn't pay?
i guess it is. but i personally wouldn't care to be head of a business that kept losing money. that wouldn't be common sense. incidentally, where is the $180,000 coming from?
me?!
excuse me, gentlemen, there's nothing natural about that .
hey, a fire engine!
now, where were we?
why not?
well, maybe it isn't to you, but it certainly is a business to me, if i have to make up a loss of $180,000. if it's losing that much money, there must be something wrong. maybe you charge too much. maybe you're selling bad merchandise. maybe lots of things. i don't know. you see, i expect to do a lot of good with that money. and i can't afford to put it into anything that i don't look into. that's my decision for the time being, gentlemen. goodbye, and thank you for making me chairman.
sorry to keep you waiting so long. those opera people are funny. they wanted me to put up $180,000.
why, i turned them down, naturally.
oh - we'll have to do something about the common wife.
what - tails?
goodbye.
huh?
oh. that.
what do you think you're doing?
get up from there. i don't want anybody holding the ends of my pants. get up from there!
one-third? that's about $7,000,000 isn't it?
that's right. don't you go to his office. there's only one place you're going, and that's out the door.
oh no, i'm not. i don't like your face. besides, there's something fishy about a person who would settle for a million dollars when they can get seven million. i'm surprised that mr. cedar, who's supposed to be a smart man, couldn't see through that.
there's one nice thing about being rich - you ring a bell and things happen. when the servant comes in, mr. hallor, i'm going to ask him to show you to the door. many people don't know where it is.
will you show mr. hallor to the front door?
and listen, there isn't any wife - there aren't any letters - and i think you're a crook. so you better watch your step.
only common sense.
you're not my attorney yet, mr. cedar. not till i find out what's on your mind. suppose you get the books straightened out quick so i can have a look at them.
even his hands are oily.
entertainment?
what're you talking about?
oh.
some other time, cobb. some other time.
he talks about women as if they were cattle.
tell me, walter, are all those stories i hear about my uncle true?
twenty! what did he do with them?
why yes. isn't that all right?
who are you?
oh, yeah.
that's very nice of mr. cobb - but i don't want anybody sticking to my tail no matter what.
is that so?
uh, will you do something for me before we go out?
i got a trunk in that room. will you get it out for me?
you fainted.
can i help you?
look, this is my house. i'd like to
what happened?
feel better now?
tell me more about yourself.
you were a lady in distress, weren't you?
oh - uh - nothing.
waiter! has anybody come in yet?
be sure and point 'em out to me, won't you?
i'm a writer myself, you know.
i write poetry.
no. that is, i didn't
oh, the poet? where?
nice of you to ask us to come and sit with you. back home we never get a chance to meet famous people.
no - i don't want it, thank you.
well, i write mine on order. the people i work for just tell me what they want and then i go to work and write it.
well, i play the tuba.
i guess maybe it is comical to write poems for postcards, but a lot of people think they're good. anyway, it's the best i can do. so if you'll excuse me, we'll be leaving. i guess i found out that all famous people - aren't big people . . .
then i guess maybe i will.
that's all right. i got it off my chest.
thanks, but miss dawson and i are going out to see the sights.
i'd kind of like to see grant's tomb - and the statue of liberty.
i just wanted to make sure.
bender? you're wrong, walter. we started out to a binge but we never got to it.
what's that?
she was a lady in distress. she wouldn't let me help her. got a lot of pride. i like that.
i'd better call her up and apologize. i don't remember taking her home last night.
what do you mean? i remember everything! hand me my pants - i wrote her phone number on a piece of paper.
oh, don't be silly, walter. i couldn't walk around in the streets without any clothes. i'd be arrested.
what two policemen?
listen, walter, if a man named morrow calls up, tell him i'm not in. he may be a great author, but i think he's crazy. the man's crazy, walter.
looking for?
he's the shipping clerk at the tallow works. wants a $2 raise - or he'll quit.
oh, they insisted on following me.
i don't remember. "cinderella man!" what do they mean by that?
sometimes it's the only solution.
if they're going to poke fun at me, i'm going to
yes, i guess i'll have to.
cobb's right. i mustn't talk to anybody.
fine. i'll talk to her. give me the phone, quick. she's the only one i'm going to talk to from now on.
it's awfully nice of you to show me around like this.
the aquarium was swell. if i lived in new york, i'd go there every day. i'll bet you do.
sure. i met you.
oh, that - well, we had another meeting. i told them i'd go on being chairman if
i told 'em i'd play along with them if they lowered their prices - and cut down expenses - and broadcast.
gosh, you look pretty tonight.
huh? oh. they said i was crazy. said i wanted to run it like a grocery store.
have you seen the papers?
that's what i like about you. you think about a man's feelings. i'd like to go down to that newspaper and punch the fellow in the nose that's writing that stuff
"cinderella man!" i guess pretty soon everybody will be calling me "cinderella man."
yes.
that depends on what they see.
me? oh, i see a small ohio farm boy becoming a great soldier. i see thousands of marching men. i see general lee with a broken heart, surrendering, and i can see the beginning of a new nation, like abraham lincoln said. and i can see that ohio boy being inaugurated as president
you can almost spit on it, can't you?
i'm not worrying any more. i suppose they'll go on writing them till they get tired. you don't believe all that stuff, do you?
yeah, i guess so. what puzzles me is why people seem to get so much pleasure out of hurting each other. why don't they try liking each other once in a while?
yeah. anyway, there aren't any photographers around.
what's that?
oh, that
nothing
have you got a - are you - uh - engaged or anything?
oh, i don't know.
i haven't met anybody here that i like, particularly. they all seem to have the st. vitus dance.
i'd rather have mandrake falls.
you have?
he sounds like a person worth while knowing.
he did? i play the tuba
what did he play?
he did?
sure. i can sing "humoresque."
sure. look! you sing it over again, and i'll do "humoresque" with you.
i wanted to thank you again for going out with me.
you know what i've been doing since i got home? been working on a poem.
maybe i'll have it finished next time i see you.
who?
what do you mean by coming in here when i'm playing?
get out.
stop!
hey, did you hear that?
you try it.
louder!
you try it!
again!
is mary dawson here? i'm longfellow deeds.
you're mabel - her sister - aren't you?
is she home?
is mary home?
hello, mary. i waited in the park for you over an hour. i thought maybe you'd forgotten.
oh, i wouldn't let them stop me from seeing you. so i threw them out!
sure. they got on my nerves, so i threw 'em out.
i guess that'll be in the papers tomorrow. it will give 'em something else to laugh at.
yes, if it isn't too late.
nice day out - er, nice night - wasn't it? - isn't it?
gosh, she looks better every time i see her.
the reason why i wanted to take a walk, mary, is 'cause i wanted to talk to you.
all right.
mary, i'm going home.
in a day or so, i think.
a man ought to know where he fits in. i just don't fit in around here. i once had an idea i could do something with the money, but they kept me so busy here, i haven't had time to figure it out. i guess i'll wait till i get back home.
do you mind if i talk to you, mary? you don't have to pay any attention to me.
all my life, i've wanted somebody to talk to. back in mandrake falls, i always used to talk to a girl.
oh, an imaginary one. i used to hike a lot through the woods and i'd always take this girl
well, here we are again.
mary
you know the poem i told you about? it's finished.
would you like to read it? it's to you.
how's it going? okay?
fourteen carat?
is that the best you've got?
that goo. that stuff that tastes like soap.
yeah, that's fine. have a lot of it because she likes it.
now you got the idea. fine.
yes.
yes. you're too tall. slink lower, will you?
more. now forward.
thank you. now don't touch a thing. leave everything as it is.
anything happened? i've got to get dressed! i can't meet her like this!
an hour? what's an hour! you know how time flies, walter. my tie? get it.
they can have the estate.
no!
a farmer, eh! you're a moocher, that's what you are! i wouldn't believe you or anybody else on a stack of bibles! you're a moocher like all the rest of them around here, so get out of here!
any children?
all right, mr. dodsworth. i think you'll qualify.
next, please.
it's going awfully slow. we need 1100 more.
that's fine. thanks. i'll look 'em over later.
what is your name?
farmer?
where is your farm?
south dakota - north?
oh. oh!
not hungry. i want to get through this work in a hurry, and then i want to go home. what price did you get on those trucks?
good.
well, that doesn't make 'em any less hungry.
that's fine. just because i want to give this money to people who need it, they think i'm crazy.
your honor
i'd like to get in my two cents' worth.
well, i don't know where to begin. there's been so many things said about me that i
about my playing the tuba. seems like a lot of fuss has been made about that. if a man's crazy just 'cause he plays the tuba, then somebody better look into it, 'cause there are a lot of tuba players running around loose. of course, i don't see any harm in it. i play mine whenever i want to concentrate. that may sound funny to some people - but everybody does something silly when they're thinking. for instance, the judge here is an o-filler . . .
an o-filler. you fill in all the spaces in the o's, with your pencil.
that's a name we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they're thinking. it's called doodling. almost everybody's a doodler. did you ever see a scratch pad in a telephone booth? people draw the most idiotic pictures when they're thinking. dr. von holler, here, could probably think up a long name for it, because he doodles all the time.
exhibit a - for the defense.
so you see, everybody does silly things to help them think.
oh, yes. yes. about my throwing those people out of my house. mrs. pomponi told the truth. i did throw them out because i didn't want the party in the first place. i didn't invite anybody. mrs. pomponi did all that. they just came to see what kind of a freak the "cinderella man" was. i don't know how people like that are supposed to act, your honor, but if that pomponi woman is an example, i'll stick to simple folks. she just came in, talked my ear off, and took charge of everything. if i were a friend of hers, i'd have her examined.
mr. cedar's right. those things do look kind of bad, don't they? but to tell the truth, your honor, i don't remember them. i guess they happened, all right, because i don't think a policeman would lie about a thing like that, but i was drunk. it was the first time i was ever drunk in my life. it's probably happened to you, some time. i mean, when you were younger, of course.
it's likely to happen to anybody. just the other morning i read in the paper about mr. cedar's own son - about how he got drunk and insisted on driving a taxi-cab, while the driver sat inside. isn't that so, mr. cedar? isn't that so , mr. cedar?
now about the falkner sisters. that's kind of funny. i mean about mr. cedar going all the way to mandrake falls to bring them here. do you mind if i talk to them?
jane, who owns the house you live in?
are you happy there?
now, jane, a little while ago you said i was pixilated. do you still think so?
now, just one more question. do you see the judge here? he's a nice man, isn't he?
do you think he's pixilated?
oh yes, i was getting to that, your honor.
suppose you were living in a small town and getting along fine, and suddenly somebody dropped $20,000,000 in your lap. supposing you discovered that all that money was messing up your life, was bringing a lot of vultures around your neck, and making you lose faith in everybody. you'd be a little worried, wouldn't you? you'd feel that you had a hot potato in your hand, and you'd want to drop it. i guess dr. von holler would say you were riding on
personally, i don't know what mr. cedar's raving about. from what i can see, no matter what system of government we have, there will always be leaders and always be followers.
some have to shift into second - and some sputter and shake and slip back to the bottom again. same cars - same gasoline - yet some make it and some don't. and i say the fellows who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can't.
see all those fellows? they're the ones i'm trying to help. they need it!
now, my plan is very simple. i was going to give each family ten acres - a horse, a cow and some seed. and if they work the farm for three years, it's theirs. now, if that's crazy, maybe i ought to be sent to an institution. but i don't think it is. and what's more, mr. cedar doesn't either.
thank you, your honor.