god save the queen!! i'll stay with the pony, thank you. she's all the way from deeside and she's not sure she likes you yet. i was due at a quarter past one. you're late. how will i know? how will i know what she requires? who'll bring it to me? i need a man who knows where i am. that's not good enough. aye, do. i came down at the queen's request. i'll take my orders from her. do you? so, is passing wind out of the question or do i need permission for that? ma'am. aye, ma'am. i am. she's well, too. i'm glad of it. i've no family, ma'am, apart from my brothers and sisters. archie. yes, ma'am. honest to god, i never thought to see you in such a state. you must miss him dreadfully. so? i was just telling the woman how i feel, for god's sake. i speak as i find, archie. i think he nearly ruptured his truss. how much? not bad, not bad. sixty. prince leopold? is he the one who bleeds all day? so what does his valet do? wash his poultices for him? if you were looking for promotion, you should have picked one of the healthier ones. it's only grief makes her like she is. she loved him. what? i'm not sure i do, archie. which one of us is she flirting with? aye? then she's obviously not got enough to do. i'm no wee spat, archie. awaiting my orders. i didn't come all this way to sit on my arse. no. well, you tell her majesty from me, if her husband was here now, he'd have had her out of that house and getting some air in her. what the hell's the point in me being here otherwise?! is that the queen's request? yes, ma'am. yes, ma'am. because i think her majesty is wrong. if ever there was a poor soul who needed fresh air, it is her. and i intend to be there when she's ready. it's a fine spot, ma'am. if prince albert were here today, he'd tell him a thing or two. aye, ma'am. not now he doesn't. this is my place. my own. that's a tautology lad. if you say the queen arranges something, you've no need to say she's done it personally. that's understood. are you dresser to her majesty? what's your name? have i seen you up in balmoral, mary? you wouldn't happen to know what the queen's reading for recreation, would you, mary? am i the only one eating? you could buy that lot for garden ornaments and still see change from ten guineas. lift your foot, woman. my heart's in the highlands, my heart is not here! my heart's in the highlands a-chasing the deer! chasing the wild deer and following the roe! my heart's in the highlands wherever i go! one box of biscuits, one box of drop tablets, one box of pralines, sixteen chocolate sponges. it's the same order every week, but does anybody bother to check it? now she has to travel all the way to balmoral without the few luxuries she actually enjoys. aye, but will they? the woman's surrounded by fools! she has to be packed and ready to leave by seven thirty tomorrow morning. knowing that lot, they'll still be dressing her at eight. but i'm the only one she trusts. i'm on ninety pounds a year plus seventy pounds for a pile of tartan i'd be wearing anyway. that's as much as a page of the back stairs gets and that job's only for toffs. i'm her majesty's highland servant! indoors and out. there's no stopping me now. what? craobhan-geanmchno-fhiadhaich. are they worth reading? who by? what does he know about the highlands? that doesn't make him an expert. i don't groom a horse to have it admired by others, i groom it because it needs grooming. just say what you have to say, woman. what other people think shouldn't matter to you. aye, well, if all you want is a good opinion then he'd be sure to oblige you. she'll be away on friday between eight o'clock and six in the evening to visit the grants in glasalt. if she's to make the journey there and back in the day she's to have no distractions the night before. she'll take a light supper alone in her private drawing room and retire early. that can wait till the weekend. it can wait. anything else? if i thought she wasn't up to it, i wouldn't let her go, would i? it's the queen's decision. i think you should go now. you've tired your mother enough. there's really no need for this. she thinks if she warned you, you'd go pouring water on the fire and stuffing the knitting under the sofa. they're ready now. ah, well. so grant here and myself are riding over lochnagar and the rain's pouring down in sheets and all we're thinking about is getting home for a drink, when through the gloom grant spots a couple of poachers. he gives me a shout and we chase them down towards the loch until grant has your men up against the stacks and he's shouting and cursing at them, "why are you poaching on royal land?!" and one of the little fellas looks up at him and says, "coz we've come up in the world." ah, pipe down, man. the woman's fine. we took a nip of whiskey. aye. i heard something. i won't be long. this close enough for you? go on! on your way! you filthy scavengers! you leave her alone, do you hear?! if i catch the miserable by-blow who told those men where she'd be, then i'll hang his balls to dry on jock wemyss, so i will!! what happens to john brown is his business, but the queen's security will never be compromised! you'll talk when i'm finished! that kind of disloyalty will not be tolerated in this house, is that clear? i said, is that clear?! if i find out that you had anything to do with this, i will have you sacked. don't think i can't persuade her. this is a slur on her good name. nobody has any rights over me. you'll regret saying that. she's busy. she's away to windsor tomorrow. talk to her there. are you deaf as well as stupid? i said, are you deaf as well as stupid? whom you address. well, everyone's entitled to their opinion. leave us alone, why don't you!! you! what's your business here?! well, don't stand where you shouldn't! i ordered it. it's for your own safety. aye. but there are fenians reported on the mainland. i'll decide when it's exaggerated. nothing's the matter. hey, barney. it's cold out there tonight, barney. yeah, there's a good girl. have you had a look at this hoof? she was limping badly. i think there might be a stone in it. good man. and is she all right? good. she's a good girl. aren't you? yeah, she's a lovely girl. and you know the queen's riding tomorrow? are you all right, barney? oh, aye. and she sent no word down? she'll think it's her fault for keeping me. i'm getting dressed. i've got my duties to attend to. she'll be worried about me. i can't let her down now, archie. oh, i'm much more than that. you watch your tongue. you know nothing about her! from the queen! my lips may give a message better of christmas love than e'en this letter. to my best friend, j.b. from his best friend, v.r. best friend! she means it. get out. out! out!! yes, ma'am? yes, ma'am. yes, ma'am. ma'am? having considered my position here at court, i have come to the conclusion that it is in the best interest of your majesty that i should resign. i had foreseen that you would not. but your majesty should understand -- that my mind will not be changed in this. i leave for deeside -- i promise. time for your walk. what brings you here? what do you know about the highlands? do you hunt? dare say you can be taught. if you hunt, you kill. always remember, you keep it tight to your shoulder, you absorb the kick. aim for the head. then imagine it's gladstone. back doors, west wing. side doors, east wing. louder, girl! kitchen and lower house. back and upper corridors. front door. checked and locked. there's not a soul here cares about that wee woman's safety except me! she'd die in a ditch if i wasn't there to look out for her -- it's a diary. what do you take me for? i'm all right. i just need to rest up a wee bit. the room . you don't have to stay. i can't move to tidy. i'm not having some prattler going through my things. she needs me, archie. she canna do without me, she said it to my face. how can i stop now? you sent for me. i don't think about it. i'm fine. it's nothing. i'm not married. this is the top. i wouldn't know. what i do, i do for my queen. maybe, once. why? i do what i do. aye. i said. i serve the queen. to see her safe. why do you think i keep her here? so? her mind is set. she won't change now. they don't see it. the threat. i tell them, but they don't see it. too busy looking after themselves. no loyalty. i promised to protect her from people like you. she'll never understand it. she'll think i betrayed her. we can't always have what we wish. if duty and safety are served by the same end then, aye, i do. have i ever let you down before--? i'm breaking no promises! for god's sake, woman, i'm just trying to keep you safe! -- when i took you out riding, come rain or shine, because i knew it was right for you, when i kept the bairns off your back so you could have a bit of peace, when i saw you safe from home to home and you didn't even know i was there! all i've ever thought about is you! because i have to! (pause will you no listen to me, woman? i recommend her majesty uses the covered carriage with a full horse guard. in the event of any disturbance i will ensure -- no!! we should not live in expectation of contentment. fifteen years of vigilance will not guarantee peace of mind. yesterday, intruders were again reported in the south wing. i believe my prompt arrival may have averted any crisis, but it was a timely reminder. it is a great comfort to me that my efforts in securing the queen's safety over the years have not been in vain. certainly her majesty sends me no word that she's dissatisfied. and i feel sure that if she were unhappy she would have found the occasion to speak to me in person, as she has so often done in the past. what is it? god save the queen!! someone has to look after you. it could've been someone. it was before. don't be silly, woman. not too near.