so he already had the tattoo that said, "naomi forever".  and now they're broken up, see, and he has to have it removed. but while the scar is still healing, or whatever you call it when you have a tattoo removed, he meets chandra. and it's serious, immediate love. so in no time, he's gone from the most gorgeous model in the world to the most gorgeous actress in north america.
in maybe three or four issues.
monthly! god, how shallow do you think brad is? why do i waste my time telling you this stuff?
don't do that thing.  . that shrink thing.
you really need to let people smoke in here, you know. it's perverse. what are they paying you to see me?
the school board doesn't pay you? what kind of deal is that?
pro boner? pro bono, huh? for whose good, supposedly?
fuck the community. there was this article my friends and i read. it was "25 signs he's great in bed". it was very fascinating.
where?.  the new york times. the first one was -- "he handles produce well." which we already knew! the point is, you have a lot of the signs.
have women found you attractive?
i knew you wouldn't answer. i've been thinking about what you said last time. how me trying to lose weight -- and constantly not -- is like a lot of people with addictions. how maybe i can't lose the weight, ever.  which we already knew.
it's a really weird thing for a shrink to say.  and then you said maybe people'd be happier if they'd accept that some things don't change -- that it'd be some kind of a relief or something.
well, i guess i'm just a dumb bitch, but how depressing is that moment -- the moment when you give up?
isn't she amazing? that is such a wicked look.
just chill for a second. look at this guy, it appears he's actually dead.  but gorgeous.
what are you doing? we're not done. i just need to find the thing.
i want to have the session. i thought it would be cool if i could show you some of the things that interest me. but i guess you're not into it.  which we already knew.
what are you talking about?
these appointments were not my idea, remember.
i don't think you know what you're talking about.
this shrink school you went to.  did you hear about it on an infomercial?
i want to live in the world these people are in. no one ever says anything in there, have you noticed? so they're very cool. like they're all really deep. it's when people start talking that everything goes to shit.
there's this kid at school.  martin brockett. he has some gigantic idea of himself that no one else shares. you wouldn't believe the crap he lays on me.  who appointed him my spiritual leader? if he has everything so figured out how come his best friend is a .22 rifle? and why's he spend all his time chasing after me? probably thinks i'm gonna give him a hummer.
no. i don't know what he wants. but i know i don't like being watched. nobody's ever paid any attention to what i did, and i liked it just fine. where does he get off telling me i disrespect myself? fuck him. look in a mirror, bozo.
i mean, doc, the dude is seriously deluded. i said that to him, i said, "if you think i'm gonna do all that shit for you, man, you are seriously deluded."
he said -- "which we already knew!"
first off, he tells me to stop smoking cigarettes. i told him abso-fuckin'- lutely no. as you can see --
then he says stop smoking dope. no again. so then he says he doesn't want me getting together with any other guys.
what balls on this guy? what're we.  . going steady? jesus.
i said i'd consider it. nobody owns me. and the last thing was insane. i don't know what's wrong with him.  no magazines.
i don't know if i can quit. we're gonna try it together, like, you know, aa or something. and i made him give up his .22. no more sneaking around the hills with his fucking nut gun like some loony tune.
he's pitiful, doc, a goddam puppy. i don't know how much longer i can put up with it. i already got two arms and legs, i don't need another appendage.
oops.  gotta go!