this just makes everything so perfect.
all i've heard, from the day i met michael, is julianne this, and julianne that.
i think the best part of marrying this guy is finding you.
i've never had a sister.
my heart's in my throat, here. right off, i have to ask this monstrous favor.
dry. just like he said.
i can be quick. i can even be funny.
but i can't be dry.
see. dry. it's in the delivery.
this is a very presumptuous and burdensome fav.
my classmate angelique shattered her pelvis line dancing in abeline on spring break.
be my maid of honor.
you can't believe what it'd cost to bring in a temp.
the bridesmaids are my only two female relatives under forty. identical twin debutantes from nashville, who are basically vengeful sluts. with amazing bodies!
the twin part. i like to remain impartial in my contempt.
this means i have four days to make you my new best friend.
and since i already know everything about you. including intimate facts i'm mortified to have heard, but too envious to forget. it's time for you to learn about me.
force yourself. to get personal.
if you'd rather the lilac.
not you. you won't be comfortable unless you're distinctive.
 you hate weddings, you never go.
you're not up for anything conventional, or popularly assumed to be female priorities. including marriage. or romance. or even.
he said that, too.
well, i thought i was like you. and proud to be. until i met rumpled, smelly old michael.
and then i found i was just a sentimental schmuck. like all those flighty nitwits i'd always pitied.
funny world, huh?
it's mostly the seam. let's get this to carlos.
 just my bridal shower. and michael has to meet our dads and the groomsmen at comiskey for a one-thirty game.
other than that.
what? because i'm a little understand.
i can't expect the nba to hold up the playoffs.
i'm excited sports illustrated gave him this kind of shot, he's only there a ye.
it depends. if san antonio sweeps sacramento, we could start there. or phoenix. or depending on indiana- clevel.
it's his career, i'm supportive. look, i've been everywhere, i've seen the world, i've laid on a beach. i want to be with the man i love. that's what makes it a honeymoon.
 his snoring, yeah. he says it's worse than ever. that snaffle one?
well now it has this sorta phlegm rattle behind it.
guess what? earplugs work.
 cigars in bed? i broke him on that. but the bathroom's a swamp, he wears reeboks to dinner, tells the same, admittedly funny, jokes three hundred times.
 loves action movies, subscribes to playboy for godsake, reads over my shoulder, can't keep track of the checks he writes.
he sucks soup through his front teeth.
but he sure can kiss.
after two weeks of cataloguing all his faults, i made a command decision that changed my life.
i threw the list away.
he's not a balance sheet, so many wonderful qualities, so many faults. he's michael.
and loving him means loving all of this.
so it's sweet of you to be protective.
but nothing ever could, ever did, give me a moment's pause about this marriage.
 except one.
you.
you'll always be there. in his mind. the perfect creature he loved for all those y.
i'm not joking. i had to face up to all my competitive drives, and believe me, i've got 'em.
and the answer was so simple.
you win.
you're enshrined in his heart and memory. unassailable. which works out great.
he has you on a pedestal. and me in his arms.
ju.
lived here my whole life, never heard of it. until our first date.
he finds all these spots, everywhere he goes, it's a mystical gift.
it's not just clubs. this guy always knows the best everything. the best guitar store, the best beef ribs, the best horowitz record, was he always like the.
stop, we're embarrassing h.
i love florence.
uh. i'm not coming back. for senior year.
well, the school will be here. architecture will still be around. right now.
the most important thing. is being together.
i'm just a baby. i've got all.  the time.  in the world.
to the twins' soiree? so they can paw you and drool?
anyway, i think you're wrong.
what you were saying before.
about michael's job.
i just think you're wrong, is all.
i mean, he loves his job.
but he always says.
that's just the sort of thing my father and i discussed.
for the twins? what in the world is th.
so you don't think michael's as happy with his job as.
gold dog collars? they don't have dogs.
you think he'd accept?
michael. a job like that.
so.  one almost has to.
exactly what?
the very words i've used.
he'll see right through it.
he won't get mad, huh?
you don't think he'll be mad.
i just don't want to freak him out.
no, it's, uh.  a real big favor.
moral support.
what's good of having a big sister, if she.
it's really my father. who needs the favor.
he's.  he's reorganizing some of the divisions of the company.
 and public relations is a big problem area for him.
he needs someone incredible, someone really close, who he can trust.
it would only be, maybe, six months? or three or four? it would mean so much to him.
and to m.
i am honest!
all of a sudden, i'm supposed to drop out of school, forget my family, forget my career, forget all the plans i had for my life.
what is that sup.
well, if that's the way you f.
michael!!
michael, you are so.
 so right. and i am so very wrong.
we can't go down two roads. and still be together.
we settled this. and i reneged. that wasn't fair.
you have to forgive me, and forget this ever happened.
 or i'll die.
my groom-person! your family needs you!
but first, a toast!
to our host, my cuddly papa joe.
who taught me to play "blue hawaii." on my nose.
look at all this beautiful food, so lovingly prepared.
how's he doing?
this must be.  very, very, hard on him.
don't you see.
 that this is all my fault?
whatever delusions i drove him to, there is truth at the heart of it. i want him to work for my father. i want to stay in school. i want a life of my own!
i love him.
tell him it's my fault and that i love him.
so. what did he say?
in here, you bitch!
over here, nitwit!
haven't you done enough?
he loves me!!
that's entirely understandable.
shit! the time!
michael. i promise to love and respect and comfort you. to hear your voice and your heart. until we are parted by death.
i do!