boy i can't tell you how thrilled i was when you guys called--you gonna eat that pickle? i've always dreamed of being a member of the a real superhero team--and to have friends--real friends--i mean guys i could live with--sleep with--die with--eat with.
i love mustard.
well, when i was a kid i grew up on love canal- -remember that?--and my brothers and i used to go swimming in it--make kool-aid out of it-- stuff like that. anyway my brothers all died, but i lived, and i grew all these like weird organs that have never been seen in humans before. so now i can do things like this!
cool, huh?
sorry, sorry.
i tried that once. the cork melted.
obscene phone calls?
come on in! the water's great!
hey, these pool mints are delicious!
twice the three stooges!
girlfriends?
the six pistols?
wait--i got it!.  the spleen team.
adolescence was the worst--the other kids made fun of me, so i'd spit on them and they'd scatter--i've never had a girlfriend--unless you count that night with my cousin--she recovered fully though--we exchange cards every christmas--well, i send her one, and she sends it back.  bug repellent?
kid!
pinch 'em.
maybe it won't work.
with mustard!
look! your favorite sunglasses!
mystery, mystery man.  i want to be a mystery man.