guess who i did it with last night.
who told!
well, that doesn't mean it was going to happen for sure. josie just stares at her.
once it didn't happen for sure. gus strauss, late 30's, would probably clean up well, enters. he tosses some copy onto josie's desk.
oh, man! who told?
and what is your policy? that if you're not getting any, no one can? anita flounces off.
okay. remember when they took your office chair in for repairs and forgot to return it?
you stood for like a month. cynthia, an affable african-american woman in her 40's, enters and puts three microwave meals in the microwave.
cynthia, aren't they only diatetic if you eat them one at a time?
y'know, maybe gus has a point. it wouldn't kill you to relax and have some fun. roger's got a friend, marshall in editing? the one with the lazy eye? maybe we could double date.
i swear to god, jos. when is the last time you went on a real live date?
do you own any colored underwear? stripes? anything?!
look. you're way under 30, you're cute, some guys find white carter's underwear sexy if you talk to his nose, you don't even notice the eye. josie laughs in spite of herself.
yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.
okay. if you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear.
i'm smelling undercover er nurse.
jos - maybe you should turn it down. a beat. josie's face falls.
no - it's just a lot of pressure for your first piece, that's all. i mean, it's not a half-page article, it's a major undercover piece, jos. look what rigfort did to dutton - and that guy's his cousin! gus enters.
jos, that's not what we're --
senorita josie.
you knit?
i do believe in you, jos. anything you need, i'll help you out. josie sits, motions to the brown paper bag.
so, you were a geek. big deal.
please. that doesn't make you a nerd. everyone wore those shoes.
okay. that's bad.
mama mia. just because you were a nerd once doesn't mean it's going to happen again. that's why you have me for fashion consultation. anita pulls a slip skirt off a rack and holds it up.
now this is cute.
so i was thinking about what you were saying - y'know, about really being kissed? i think roger could be the one.
bridgework?
i am not letting you out of the house in that, young lady. anita grabs an awful white maribou jacket and matching earrings and holds them up.
cuuuute!
and we're going to have to do something about your hair.
jos, please try and have some fun here, okay? how many of us get to go back to high school? you're gonna have a blast! smash cut to: close up - an alarm clock on a bedside table. surrounded by make-up, boxes of hair color, a stack of index cards, ripped magazine pages of teen looks, issues of teen beat and ym. the clock slips to 7:00. npr starts playing. a hand reaches over, hits the radio off. sound effects: a school bell. as the bell continues to ring, we widen to:
hi roger from op. ed--
of course-- and he leans in and kisses her. she pulls away, confused. a beat. anita kisses him again. nothing. anita y'know what? no, i don't think we are on. i think i have to stay home. yeah. i'm staying home! i don't know what i'll do there, but i'm gonna do it. alone! roger walks off.
gus, have you ever been in love?
oh give it up, gus. i'm just making conversation.
you should go out every now and then, gus; with some new ties the girls would be all over you. gus stares down at his tie. but he's smiling--a little.
listen, i don't have any plans--you want some help?
nope. they share a smile. interior. high school hallway – day josie walks toward her locker, the make out couple is at it again. josie's fed up. she taps the boy on his shoulder.
well. i like a man who gets to the point.
if you say so. sam turns to the class.
i am? oh, i am. hi. okay. sex. yes, well, sex. what's to say really, y'know? you like a guy, you do it. sometimes he calls. sometimes he doesn't. anita leans into josie, talks sotto. anita hi!
i had a lunch break so i thought i'd come by and see you. your teacher is a fox! . why don't we discuss that after class. but the burning is totally normal. oh look. class is over already.
right. right. anita walks back to the front of the classroom. anita okay, sex. let's see. sex is really fun. when you're old enough. which none of you are, trust me i should know cuz when you lose it to some guy named junior with really bad breath in the back of a van at a guns and roses concert you're gonna wish you listened to your mom when she said, y'know, no one's gonna want to buy the whole friggin ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free. there's a deafening silence. the kids are amazed. anita okay. any questions?
okay. i know it's hard. titters from the group. anita difficult. but safe sex is really important. i try to practice it every day. josie reacts. angle on kirsten & kristen. their condoms are snugly on their bananas. they stare at josie.
so just. imagine the bananas are the real thing. she takes a rather large banana off a desk and looks at it. she snorts. anita in a land called "every man's fantasy". she looks up, sees the real miss kitterman , standing outside the door and waving. without missing a beat, anita pulls down a shade on the door and locks it. angle on: josie and tracy still struggling with condoms.
oh! how about "under the sea?" she's met with a round of "boos". anita reacts. anita well excuse me.
i love that jacket.
this is the most beautiful prom i have ever been to. cynthia runs in with a bowl of popcorn.
yes! you go girl! yes! yes! anita gives gus a big hug. gus is completely taken aback. merkin dolefully hands out money.
josie! josie, how'd it go? did he ream you?
you need my help?
it's great! they're behind you. they feel like they know you.