computer's down. septuplets story. i need it back by five. hopefully the copy's not a mess.
so. you and roger in op. ed.
roger in op. ed. don't make me send you another memo about my policy on inter-office dating.
how many times have i fired her?
eh. gus turns to exit.
yeah--the blind foster home mother. it was good. i got cahoon on it.
geller, we've been over this. you're a great copy editor. maybe my best copy editor. you're not a reporter.
you know what separates us office flunkies from the reporters?
a flack jacket.
every tom, dick, and harry thinks he can write. but a journalist gets in there, right where the bombs are. he's aggressive. grabs the bull by the balls.
geller, you don't want a reporter's life. they're very--messy. you're all about order. control. and getting me my copy by five.
copy by five.
undercover chef. i like it.
don't worry, i'll straighten all this out.
geller, this is way out of your league. josie takes in anita and gus.
you did.
i'm not holding your job for you, geller. josie jumps up and down and hugs gus, who is clearly uncomfortable.
don't make me send you the memo on hugging in the workplace. josie smiles. gus exits.
geller, i got your message. what the hell kind of story are you pitching?! josie smiles awkwardly at aldys, covering the phone.
you're a sick puppy, geller. josie indicates to aldys she'll be right back and walks to the back of the restaurant by the pay phones.
and you're leading with the terrible truth about cole slaw?!
geller. you wanna be a reporter? take a look at what sells! sex scandals. bribery. people jumping off buildings. so unless a kid just killed himself because he was being paid to have sex with the school mascot in a big vat of this cole slaw, you got nothing! gus slams down his phone.
josie, i am appalled. josie picks up the paper, and starts reading intently.
no, i am appalled that i have a reporter in there, undercover, for almost three weeks now- i had to read about this in the tribune.
responding officers found minors, marijuana, and cheap wine coolers when they responded to a call to break up a party at what southglen high schoolers have come to call "the court." seventeen-year-old kristen rey says, "yeah, everyone who's anyone is at the court on saturday night."
have you been there?
have you been to any parties?
this is where the stories are. you are going to become friends with these people. you are going to party with them. you are going to hang out with them on weekends. when they go to prom, you are going to be in their same damn limo!
do you even know these kids?
get to know them. very well. your job and my job depends on it.
out! josie grabs her knapsack and does.
geller, stop being a pain in the ass. josie looks all around.
no, it's the great and powerful oz. now listen--you're in over your head. this is how it's gonna work. i review the tapes, i find your story.
i bet good housekeeping would go gaga over the cole slaw piece. off josie's look of concern.
showtime's over! move-it! back to work! anita climbs off his desk.
leave.
love. who knows what that is? now circulation, deadlines, those i understand.
go away. i have enough work here to last me all night.
no roger from op. ed?
it's like the all-humiliation network. they all nod in agreement.
that's your story!
it's got it all--sex, intrigue, immorality in the education system--
and that's the best part. "teacher-student relations: how close is too close?" we're gonna blow the lid off it!
not yet. every person in this office comes in here and watches you guys! it's like the goddamn young and the restless! rigfort's salivating over it.
josie, this isn't a joke. you heard rigfort. it's both of our asses on the line. this is your story.
your story was rigfort's baby. we were scooped! we've got nothing. zippo. you totally and completely screwed both of us.
i'll tell you a story. it's about this shy copy editor who makes a mockery of herself and her boss when she completely botches her first assignment as a reporter. josie stands. slams down the paper.
yeah, it is.