previously, on "behind the screen."
i love it. i'll do it.
gavin and i have been friends for forever.
it's really hard to leave a show like "gilmore girls," but i really believe in gavin.
what's the line?
howkajew?
howkajew. it sounds like kosher drug paraphernalia. like, come on shmuley! have a toke on the howkajew.
they really think people won't get it?
i didn't think we were making the show for dumb people.
howkajew.  how could you.  how couldjew.
i feel so dirty.
pardon me. daddy needs his drink.
i'm a-comin! i still love you most.
round two is starting without you!
as long as he needs me, i know where i must be.
in-between the pilot and the series, i'm trying to squeeze in a one-woman show. i've always been obsessed with nuns. they're sort of like god's fag-hags.
your house is really old.
shit. like a ghost?
the woman?
your house is haunted by yourself?
gavin, are you alright?
oh my god.
so it's done. finished. decided.
i understand. it's not your fault. you're morally incapable of doing the right thing.
don't get me wrong. i think you do feel bad for me. but that's all you feel for me. you still see me as the fat girl you call on friday night when a date falls through. let's go to a movie! let's go to fubar! and if you meet a hot piece of ass, don't worry about melissa, you can apologize tomorrow. or don't! same difference. it's not like we're actually friends.
no, because you can't control it. your little puppets are off their strings, running around. saying things you didn't write. reality terrifies you.
yes.
god, thank you. thank you for finally playing that card. i always knew you were holding onto it, the "i invented melissa mccarthy card." congratulations, you win. the game is over.
don't you ever pity me again.
so it's done. finished. decided.
i understand.
i understand. it's not your fault. you're morally incapable of doing the right thing.
howkajew. how could you. how could you.
i feel so dirty.