no, thanks. i'll just look around.
really?
thanks. i'll think about it.
no, that's fine. i was going to steal one myself but now i've changed my mind. signed by the author, i see.
yes.
what's your name?
well, that's the signature -- and above, it says 'dear rufus -- you belong in jail.'
tempting but.  no, thank you.
i think i will try this one.
thanks.
oh jesus.
what are you doing?!
no thank you. i need to get my car back.
okay. so what does 'just over the street' mean -- give it to me in yards.
no thanks.
no.
really, no.
no.
no. i better be going. thanks for your help.
thank you.
i forgot my bag.
thanks. well.
don't worry about it. i thought the apricot and honey business was the real lowpoint.
hi.
probably best not tell anyone about this.
bye.
no.
i've got nothing to smile about.
hi.
you played it pretty cool here, waiting for three days to call.
oh -- okay.
yeh -- unfortunately, things are going to be pretty busy, but.  okay, let's give it a try. four o'clock could be good.
hello.
oh no, ho -- these are great.
no, it's a stupid privacy thing. i always choose a cartoon character -- last time out, i was mrs. bambi.
yes, thanks.
is that so?
ahm -- well -- we would have liked to -- but it was difficult, obviously, being set in space.
no, it's my fault, i thought this would all be over by now. i just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing. i seriously don't know what got in to me. i just wanted to make sure you were fine about it.
it takes place on a submarine.
and what happens next in the dream?
yes.
well, it was nice to meet you. surreal but nice.
come in.
ahm. that thing i was doing tonight -- i'm not doing it any more. i told them i had to spend the evening with britain's premier equestrian journalist.
okay -- fine.
no, i mean, if it's fine with you, i'll, you know, be your date.
if that's all right.
okay.
hi.
thank you.
hiya.
ahm.  i think that sounds -- you know -- lucky me. happy birthday.
i'll think about it.
i'm an actress.
well, they can be.
films mainly.
fifteen million dollars.
i wonder if you could tell me where the?
i'm a vegetarian.
wait a minute. what about me?
well.  a shot at it.
well, i've been on a diet since i was nineteen, which means basically i've been hungry for a decade. i've had a sequence of not nice boyfriends -- one of whom hit me: and every time my heart gets broken it gets splashed across the newspapers as entertainment. meantime, it cost millions to get me looking like this.
really -- and one day, not long from now.
 my looks will go, they'll find out i can't act and i'll become a sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
that was such a great evening.
and may i say that's a gorgeous tie.
you're right. i told you i was bad at acting.
lovely to meet you.
night, night, honey.
you too -- from now on you are my style guru.
floppy, huh?
why is she in a wheelchair?
and the pregnancy thing -- is that to do with the accident?
too complicated.
busy tomorrow?
i was.
what's in there?
let's go in.
you abide by rules like that?
what did you say?
yes, you did.
you said 'whoopsidaisies.'
there's no 'unless.' no one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
step aside.
come on, flops.
'for june, who loved this garden -- from joseph who always sat beside her.'
some people do spend their whole lives together.
so who left who?
why?
uh-oh. that's not good.
no, that's fine. i love that you tried.  time was i'd have done the same.
in fact -- give me a second.
hi.
i'm sorry about my friend -- he's very sensitive.
please, please -- let's just leave it there. i'm sure you meant no harm, and i'm sure it was just friendly banter and i'm sure you dicks are all the size of peanuts. a perfect match for the size of your brains. enjoy your meal. the tuna's really good.
i shouldn't have done that. i shouldn't have done that.
i'm rash and i'm stupid and what am i doing with you?
i don't know either.
here we are. do you want to come up?
there are lots of reasons. do you want to come up?
give me five minutes.
hiya.
you've got to go.
because my boyfriend, who i thought was in america, is in fact in the next room.
yes.
really -- don't do that -- i'm sure this is not his job.
nice surprise.
i haven't decided.
i'm sorry.  i don't know what to say.
hi. can i come in?
they were taken years ago -- i know it was.  well, i was poor and it happens a lot -- that's not an excuse -- but to make things worse, it now appears someone was filming me as well. so what was a stupid photo- shoot now looks like a porno film. and well.  the pictures have been solid and they're everywhere.
i don't know where to go. the hotel is surrounded.
thank you. i'm just in london for two days -- but, with your papers, it's the worse place to be.
these are such horrible pictures. they're so grainy.  they make me look like.
a bath would be great.
you must be spike.
hi.
i'm really sorry about last time. he just flew in -- i had no idea -- in fact, i had no idea if he'd ever fly in again.
i don't know. it got to the point where i couldn't remember any of the reasons i loved him. and you.  and love?
i have thought about you.
just anytime i've tried to keep things normal with anyone normal -- it's been a disaster.
yes -- start in l.a. on tuesday.
would you? it's all talk, talk, talk.
i'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer who in about twenty minutes will save the world from nuclear disaster.
'no, turn over 4 trs's and tell them we need radar feedback before the kft's return at 19 hundred -- then inform the pentagon that we'll be needing black star cover from ten hundred through 12.15' -- and don't you dare say one word about how many mistakes i made in that speech or i'll pelt you with olives.
'thank you.' how many mistake did i make?
damn. 'and wainwright'
'cartwright, wainwright, whatever your name is, i promised little jimmy i'd be home for his birthday -- could you get a message through that i may be a little late.'
my son's name is johnny?
well, get a message through to him too.
what do you think?
you think i should do henry james instead?
yes -- i mean -- you never get anyone in 'wings of a dove' having the nerve to say 'inform the pentagon that we need black star cover.'
i can't believe you have that picture on your wall.
i do. it feels like how being in love should be. floating through a dark blue sky.
yes -- happiness wouldn't be happiness without a violin-playing goat.
fantastic.
you've got big feet.
you know what they say about men with big feet?
big feet -- large shoes.
the thing that's so irritating is that now i'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
definitely. 'you may show the dent at the top of the artist's buttocks -- but neither cheek. in the event of a stunt person being used, the artist must have full consultation.'
i could have a stunt bottom, yes.
definitely. ths is important stuff.
actually, mel does his own ass work. why wouldn't he? it's delicious.
both.
today has ben a good day. which under the circumstances is.  unexpected.
right.
okay.
what?
you and every person in this country.
what is it about men and nudity? particularly breasts -- how can you be so interested in them?
no seriously. i mean, they're just breasts. every second person in the world has got them.
but.  they're odd-looking. they're for milk. your mum's got them. you must have seen a thousand of them -- what's the fuss about?
rita hayworth used to say -- 'they go to bed with gilda -- they wake up with me.' do you feel that?
her most famous part -- men went to bed with the dream -- and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality -- do you feel that way with me?
oh.
i'll be back.
breakfast in bed. or lunch, or brunch.
can i stay a bit longer?
damn, i forgot the jam.
you get the door, i'll get the jam.
what?
you're up to something.
oh my god. and they got a photo of you dressed like that?
jesus.
it's anna. the press are here. no, there are hundreds of them. my brilliant plan was not so brilliant after all. yeh, i know, i know. just get me out then. damnit.
how do you think i'm doing?
i do. your furry friend thought he'd make a buck or two telling the papers where i was.
really? the entire british press just woke up this morning and thought 'hey -- i know where anna scott is. she's in that house with the blue door in notting hill.' and then you go out in your goddamn underwear.
this is such a mess. i come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip and now i'm landed in it all over again. for god's sake, i've got a boyfriend.
as far as they're concerned i do. and now tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspapers from here to timbuktu.
you can stay calm -- it's the perfect situation for you -- minimum input, maximum publicity. everyone you ever bump into will know. 'well done you -- you slept with that actress -- we've seen the pictures.'
who knows, it may even help business. buy a boring book about egypt from the guy who screwed anna scott.
i don't want a goddamn cup of tea. i want to go home.
and remember -- spike owes you an expensive dinner. or holiday -- depending if he's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
you're right: of course, you're right. it's just that i've dealt with this garbage for ten years now -- you've had it for ten minutes. our perspectives are different.
excuse me?
you really don't get it. this story gets filed. every time anyone writes anything about me -- they'll dig up these photos. newspapers last forever. i'll regret this forever.
this is certainly.  ah.
i was going to ring.  but.  i didn't think you'd want to.
it's not going very well -- and it's our last day.
but.  wait.  there are things to say.
drink tea -- there's lots of tea.
we have to. i've got to be in new york on thursday.
i'm not listening.
i said i'm not listening -- and i think, looking at something that firm, you and your droopy little excuse for an 'arse' would be well-advised to keep quiet.
so i ask you when you're going to tell everyone, and you say?
and then i.  right.
oh.  no one.  no one. just some.  guy from the past. i don't know what he's doing here. bit of an awkward situation.
hi.
you disappeared.
well.  how have you been?
oh no. it's all nonsense, believe me. i had no idea how much nonsense it all was -- but nonsense it all is.  well, yesterday was our last day filming and so i'm just off -- but i brought you this from home, and.
i thought i'd give it to you.
no, don't open it yet -- i'll be embarrassed.
i actually had it in my apartment in new york and just thought you'd.  but, when it came to it, i didn't know how to call you.  having behaved so.  badly, twice. so it's been just sitting in the hotel. but then.  you came, so i figured.  the thing is.  the thing is
yes. the thing is.  i have to go away today but i wondered, if i didn't, whether you might let me see you a bit.  or, a lot maybe.  see if you could.  like me again.
you expect me to tell the truth about my life to the most indiscreet man in england?
is that right?
i can't say i know patrick all that well.
well, no -- i'm sure he was friendly -- to demi moore -- who acted with him in 'ghost.'
that's fine. there's always a pause when the jury goes out to consider its verdict.
 yes, that's fine. of course. i.  you know.  of course.  i'll just.  be getting along then.  nice to see you.
i see. that reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?
okay. fine. fine. good decision.
the fame thing isn't really real, you know. don't forget -- i'm also just a girl. standing in front of a boy. asking him to love her.
bye.
no time at all. i fly out tonight.
absolutely not.
it's really not my business any more. though i will say, from my experience, that rumours about jeff.  do tend to be true.
he was just a friend -- i think we're still friends.
i hoped there might be -- but no, i'm assured there aren't.
no, let him.  ask away. you were saying?
yes, i'm pretty sure i would.
indefinitely.