he's bringing a girl?
does the girl have a name?
christ, what is going on in there?
come on in. vague food crisis.
okay. crisis over.
hello, anna ahm.  scott -- have some wine.
hi.
yes, happy birthday.
look, your brother has brought this girl, and ahm.
that'll be bernie.
hello, bernie.
bernie -- this is anna.
you haven't slept with her, have you?
'no comment' means 'yes.'
do you ever masturbate?
you see -- it means 'yes.'
right -- i think we're ready.
having you here, anna, firmly establishes what i've long suspected, that we really are the most desperate hot of under-achievers.
i'm not saying it's a bad thing, in fact, i think it's something we should take pride in. i'm going to give the last brownie as a prize to the saddest act here.
you see -- and unless i'm much mistaken, your job still pays you rather a lot of money, while honey here, she earns nothing flogging her guts out at london's seediest record store.
you see -- incredibly sad.
well, i don't know. look at william. very unsuccessful professionally. divorced. used to be handsome, now kind of squidgy around the edges -- and absolutely certain never to hear from anna again after she's heard that his nickname at school was floppy.
i think you do, yes.
i'm sorry? you think you deserve the brownie?
nah!!! nice try, gorgeous -- but you don't fool anyone.
i'm delighted.
now you're lying.
no!
you didn't know she had a boyfriend?
let's face facts. this was always a no-go situation. anna's a goddess and you know what happens to mortals who get involved with the gods.
every time. but don't despair -- i think i have the solution to your problems.
her name is tessa and she works in the contracts department. the hair, i admit, is unfashionable frizzy -- but she's as bright as a button and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row. apparently.
now -- try.
tessa -- this is bella my wife.
and this is william.
wine?
keziah -- some woodcock?
i don't realize that.
thank you. i'm sorry about the lamb.
well?
that's not fair.
is it someone we know?
any more announcements?
there's an understatement. there are dead people on better form.
so -- you've laid the ghost.
don't give a damn about the famous girl.
which means you won't be distracted by the fact that she's back in london, grasping her oscar, and to be found filming most days on hampstead heath.
so not over her, in fact.
absolutely. never trust a vegetarian.
if anyone gets in our way -- we have small nuclear devices.
where's bella?
sod that. bernie -- in the back!
come on, babe.
down kensington church street, then knightsbridge, then hyde park corner.
stop right there! i will decide the route. all right?
james bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.
go!