i've been waiting on you to get on my page this whole time. you look at this mall as a kingdom?! shit! i look at this place like a motherfucking jail sentence. you put on that uniform every morning, but what are you really protecting? commerce and corporations and money. well i say, fuck that! i'm a fucking outlaw and i'm going to live that until the day i die. now, i can show you the way, but you've got to be willing to accept it. so i'm gonna ask you now, ronnie. are you ready for a trip to the other side?
alright then. let's party.
so, yeah, usually i take a joint straight to the head before i start work in this motherfucker, but on really stressful days, i like to get drunk too.
so then i usually come in here and perv out on girls for about an hour or two. i hooked up twice last week. one was this asian chick and the other was this mom. she wasn't that hot, but what else do i got to do?
sweet jesus in the morning.
dressing rooms are a great place to hide out, because nobody is really going to think of looking for me here. you can nap or just kind of hang out and just really have some personal time. hey, hand me that camera.
thanks, ronnie.
right before lunch i usually blaze up again real good.
hey, what's up, motherfuckers?!
you know, smokin' that good good.
hey, ronnie's alright. let me see that stick.
come on, brother. let's go.
don't mention it, homey. i'm just glad i got me a partner in crime.
you ain't even seen the best part. after everybody leaves, i rob the shit out of this place.
i steal shit!
hell yeah! who'd you think it was?!
this probably will look good with my complexion.
ronnie, i thought you were down?! what the fuck?! here i am opening up myself to you and you're just gonna stick it to me like this. what the fuck has this place ever done for you? don't you know that people see us as jokes?! a useless tool that's left in the shed. well that's not me. not now, not ever. i told you, i'm an outlaw.
what the fuck you mean you can't let me?
alright, ronnie, you're right.
i don't really know what i was thinking. robbing the mall? let's just go get that beer.
see ya in mexico, bitch.
what's up, ronnie? how you doing?
i'm holding it down in here.
i know. i should have hit mexico, but, you know, i got stoned and just kind of kicked with this girl in kannapolis for a while.
shit, dog. sorry about that.
i told you. i'm an outlaw.
man, you want to know the real reason?
alright, i'll tell you. man, that gig was one of the best jobs i ever had. i got to wear a uniform, i could smoke weed whenever i wanted. for once in my life, i felt like i was actually somebody. i know most people don't think it's shit, but i really loved it. then, all of a sudden, i find out that your ass got promoted over me.
after all i put into it, you're the one that makes it to head of mall security. you know what it's like to get passed over, ronnie? so i got pissed off. i started robbing the joint as a way to get at them for what they did to me. but you know what, ronnie?
you ever love a girl so much that you can't break up with her, so the only thing you can do when she pisses you off is smack her in the goddamn face?
well, i have. and that's pretty much how i felt about the job.
well, it's the least i could do after knocking you out and all.
hey, ronnie.
bail me out of here, old friend.