yeah, ain't that the truth. so long, fellas. yes, sir, it's a mighty nice fall day. yes, ma'am. i tell ya, these goons showered me at the courthouse this morning, last night at the jail, and i swear they'd have swabbed my ears out on the way over if they could've found the facilities. hey, how ya doin', cutie? just great! see ya around! yes, sir, i sure am gonna enjoy my stay here. ya know, i ain't never been in an institution of psychology before. yeah, i'm here on a ninety-day observation period. short-timer, like they say. after you, ma'am. man, there sure is an awful lot of poontang around here. yeah, i was just thinking the same thing, doc. why, i'll betcha there must be a million albacore and tuna running of the coast right this minute. fish! hell, doc, i'd like to have a nickel for every fish i landed between point conception and the alaska coast. yup! worked right outta depoe bay for just about every season since i was able to haul my own weight. mcmurphy, doc. r.p. mcmurphy. you bet, doc. thank you, ma'am, hi. how ya doin', buddy? oh, yeah? what's ailing ya? well, that's too bad. yeah, buddy? no, 'fraid not. yeah, buddy? sorry, buddy, i'm clean outta change. sure. hey, how's it look up there, big boy? that right? your buddy is callin' ya. what's troubling ya, buddy? you look pretty healthy to me. how do ya know that? you're breathin' right now. what's that, pop? can't hear ya, old-timer. hell, compared to where i just come from, this is a country club. whatcha boys playin'? shoot! no wonder you don't care nothin' 'bout showin' your hand. what's your name, buddy? well, put 'er there, billy boy, my name's mcmurphy. what i wanna know is who's the top loony around here? yeah, that'll do for openers! what for? i can wait. i'm seeing what a busy man does. yessir, that's why i came to this establishment for, to bring you birds fun and entertainment 'round the gamin' table. easy now, don't smudge 'em, we got lots of games ahead of us. yes, ma'am. hold the fort down, will ya, fellas! yes, ma'am. thank you, ma'am. yes, ma'am. now that you mention it, i sure would like to call my aunt up in portland and tell 'er where i am so she can come visit me. yes, ma'am. just that i'm glad to be here, miss ratched. i really am. yeah, you ain't half so bad looking for a head nurse. yes, ma'am. lead the way, sam. hell, doc, i've been everything from a hoopla man with a two-bit carny show to a top mechanic and bull goose catskinner for every gypo loggin' operation in the northwest till the army taught me what my natural bent was. poker! yeah, but you know how society persecutes a dedicated man. they say i'm a habitual hassler. like i fight some. sheeut. they didn't mind so much when i was a dumb logger and got into a hassle. that's a hardworkin' feller blowing off steam, they say. but if you're a gambler, all you have to do is spit slantwise and you're a goddamned criminal. to tell the truth, ever since i found my natural callin' i done time in so many small-time jails i could write a brochure. well, ya know, doc. doesn't it say so there? i don't, doc. that's correct, doc . doc, what can i tell ya? no, this is my first trip, doc. you bet, doc! yeah, well, it just pains me somethin' awful to see a full growed man sloshing around in his own water. well, say, buddy, is that the usual pro-cedure for those group ther'py shindigs? bunch of chickens at a peckin' party? that's right, buddy. and you want to know who pecks the first peck? ah, come off it! it's that big nurse, that's who. i'm not talking about fred yoong or maxwell jones, buddy, what i'm talkin' about is that crummy meeting and what that nurse did to you! did to you and all the rest of you guys. what did i see 'cept a grown man gettin' whipped so bad he can't laugh anymore. tell 'er to go straight to hell! she ain't peckin' at your eyes, buddy. she's peckin' at your balls, buddy, at your ever-lovin' balls. p.a. what the hell is that? huh? tell 'er to go to hell anyway! what for? lobotomy? is that your sense of humor or are you tryin' to say somethin'? pass it to me, martini. c'mon, i'll give it back! atta boy, martini. back and forth, that's it. shoot, man, we'll be takin' on the new york knicks before we're through. hey-ya, hey-ya, come on, come on, i'm waitin' on you suckers, you hit or you sit. hit, you say? well well well and with a king up, the boy wants a hit. whadaya know. so comin' at you and too bad, a little lady for the lad and he's over the wall and down the road, up the hill and dropped his load. 'kay, place your bets. that's a dime, martini. whadaya bet, cheswick? that okay. i'll take your marker. how many ya want? 'kay, all bets are down, let's wheel 'em an' deal 'em. big king. little deuce. another king. a lovely lady. big ten. and a trey. hey, hey, whadaya say? ya hit or sit, martini? that's twenty up, martini. hey, taber, who's pitching the opening game? wait a minute, martini, i can't hear a thing. what? pardon me miss, but would you mind turning. all i'm askin' is. sorry, ma'am. pardon me, ma'am, can i ask you somethin'? how 'bout turning off that music for a while so a man can hear himself think? well, say, how 'bout easin' it down a bit so a man don't have to shout! sorry, ma'am. sorry 'bout that. sorry to have bothered you. what's the horse pill for, honey? look, miss, i don't like swallowing something without knowing what it is! i'm not upset. all i wanna know, for the lovva jesus. no, that's okay, ma'am. down it goes. you boys seem to think you've got a champ in there, huh? hell, i couldn't get it up over old hatchet-face if ya paid me! yeah, an' i'm tellin' ya, she's just an icy-hearted over-the-hump gal who never got enough of the old wham-bam to straighten 'er out. okay, who wants a card? chief? i wanna ask ya somethin'. oh, does the spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? when you chew it in the morning, will it be too hard to bite? this question's got me goin', won't somebody set me right; does the spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? here ya go, chief. what the. who the fuck stole my cigarettes! i wanna report a robbery! yeah, some creep stole my cigarettes! what for? well, say. how 'bout springing a pack of cigarettes loose? you sure run a tight-assed ship 'round here, don't ya! 'kay, let's go brush our teeth, fellas. oh, lulu had a baby, his name was sunny jim, she put 'im in a piss pot, to teach 'im how to swim. oh, he swam to the bottom, he swam to the top, lulu got excited, an' pulled 'im by his. cock-tail ginger-ale, five cents a glass, an' if ya don't like it ya can shove it up your. ask me no more questions, i'll tell ya no more lies. what's wrong with you guys? why, if i'd have known how soft this place was gonna be, i'd have arranged for my transfer sooner. look at this here, real orange juice! hooee, that's good. why, you couldn't pay me to leave this place! all this place lacks is a couple of sweet gals to liven things up. stand aside, sam, nature's callin'. don't know if i can hold it that long, sam. who do you like in the opening game, sam? asshole. right. i've been givin' some serious consideration to what you told me about the democratic something of this therapeutic community of ours, an' i got a few things i wanna get off my chest, before we get back to harding's problem. right! 'kay. item one. i've been thinkin' 'bout the age problem we got on this ward. you know, the young an' old livin' together, an' i was thinkin' what a great thing it would be if the music was turned up louder. louder so the old fellas could hear better. but then i got to thinkin', the music is so loud already, it makes it difficult for the young fellas to hold a decent conversation. well, i was turnin' this dilemma over in my head, when i happened to hit on that old tub room out there, an' i said to myself, mcmurphy, i said, that place would make a great second day room. a sort of game room for the young fellas. whadaya think, doc? i'm not finished yet. 'kay, item two. tomorrow, and listen carefully to me, you ding-a lings. tomorrow is the opening game of the world series an' what i want is to take a vote on switchin' the group meetin' to later on in the day, so we can watch the ballgame. yeah? the hell with the schedule, you can get back to the schedule next week when the series is over. what i want is a vote on it right now! atta boy, cheswick! okay, raise your hands. come on', what is this crap? who wants to watch the world series? no way. you need four houses on every lot of the same color, martini. now let's go, for christsakes. it's your dirty roll, cheswick. snake eyes! hoooeee, that puts you on my marvin gardens, which means you owe me three hundred and fifty dollars. you just come on with that three fifty and martini will take care of himself. your dice, scanlon. break it up, god dammit! ain't i got enough troubles without you guys messin' around. can't depend on nobody. what's the use! hooee! it'd do you birds some good just to get a little exercise lifting your arms to vote! it is to me! an' if i hafta bust way outta this place to see it, i will! yeah! yeah, how much you wanna bet? that me an' my buddy, cheswick, we'll be downtown tomorrow watchin' the ballgame while you suckers are sittin' around this goddamn nursery! that's between me an' myself. so why don't you boys just shove off. i got some planning to do. maybe i'll just use that thick skull of yours as a batterin' ram, sefelt. you think it's funny, huh? put your money where your mouth is, taber. you want me to show ya! you want me to show ya how! all right! with this thing! i'm gonna put this thing right through the window, that's how! you're fuckin' a-right, i am! you heard me the first time! you're on! stand aside, son. any more takers? right! okay. who else? okay, harding, you're on. yeah. okay, stand aside, you guys! you're usin' up my oxygen! just warmin' up. but i tried. goddammit, i sure as hell did that much. didn't i? that's okay, kid. no, kid, it was my own stupidity, that's what pissed me off. what we're gonna have to do is pull this ballclub together for our next play. 'kay! jesus christ, the man doesn't want to talk, so get off his back an' let's get on to some new business. yeah, yeah, the hell with that crap! the world series is goin' on right' now an' that's therapy also! what the hell does that have to do with it? this is an important event and i want a vote on it! yeah, it'll satisfy me. i'm proposing a re-vote on watchin' the ballgame! okay, i wanna see the hands. i wanna see which of you birds has any guts. that's it! we made it! so do i! you mean to tell me you're gonna count those old birds over there? well, i'll be a son-of-a-bitch. well, screw that noise! hoo-wee! man, all i need me now is a can of beer and a red-hot. a hit! it's a hit! he's rounding first, heading for second. here comes the throw. he's sliding. and. he's safe! he's safe! hoo-wee! whatta game! whatta game! come on, koufax! strike 'em out! he's into his wind-up. here comes the pitch. strike on the inside corner! he's into his wind-up. here's the next pitch. and it's a hit! it's a hit! ya-hoo, let's'play ball! 'kay, it's two outs, bases loaded as koufax steps up to the mound. checks the runners. goes into his wind-up. here comes the three-two pitch. and it's a fly ball into deep center. mantle is going back. he's going back! back! his back is up against the wall. and. he catches it! he catches it! just fine, doc. in fact, i think i might've put on a couple of pounds since i got here. come on, doc, you know as well as i do what's been comin' down in that loony bin. shoot, doc, the only one i'm disturbing is that old nurse and her fixed ways. that's all. come on, doc, you must be kiddin'. jesus, that old nurse sure wants my ass in a sling, don't she! guidance and assistance! that's insane! doc, ya gotta help me. when? okay, chief. this is your spot! i don't want you to move from this spot! never!. 'kay, now, take the ball! raise your hands, like this. that's good! that's a good boy, chief! now jump and put it in! i know, goddammit! you don't have ta tell me that! i'm not talkin' to him! i'm talkin' to myself! it helps me think! well, it doesn't hurt him either! does it, chief! see, it doesn't hurt him. jump! an' put it in! ha! did ya see that! hey, cheswick! come here! let me get on your shoulders. 'kay, wheel me around to the basket. 'kay, easy, easy. hold it! 'kay, now. hey, chief, come back! cheswick, go get 'im! now, wheel me to the basket. wait here, chief. heh, heh, i'll show 'em who's crazy. hey, cheswick! wake up! i'm leaving. goodbye! shhh. hey, billy. billy boy, wake up and say goodbye to your ol' buddy. so long, kid. shhh. psst! hey, martini, wake up! bye-bye. scanlon! hey, scanlon, wake up! shhhh. see ya around the ball park. so long, freddy. don't take any wooden nickles. shhh. bye-bye, pussy cat. up an' at 'em, taber. shhhh. time to say goodbye. hey, hard-on. wake up, dumbo. ya owe me twenty-five bucks. i'm busting outta this place. so long suckers. shhh. that's for me to know an' you to find out. oh, yeah? how much ya wanna bet? you're on. let's go! an' keep it quiet. out. it's the way out. so just keep it in your minds if ya ever wanna make use of it. shhh. wait a minute. you guys are gonna screw up my plans. so just gone on back to bed like nothin' happened. shhh. hold it down! i'll take you guys down, but ya gotta come right back up! 'kay? shhh. remember this is a privilege, so i don't want none of you goons fuckin' up. kay? 'kay, let's see. cheswick first . then billy. martini. scanlon. sefelt. fredrickson. taber an' the chief. 'kay shhh! where's martini and scanlon? charlie, ya can't ever let those goons outta ya sight! understand! hey, martini! psst! scanlon! ya dumb goons, come back here! come on, let's get 'em! come on, you guys, let's stick together. shhh! this way! we'll go back just as soon as we find those guys! 'kay? they must be up there! come on, don't crap out on me now. we got two buddies out there! fuck miss ratched! wow! look at this! hey, you guys, come on up here and take a gander at this! hey, what's that? over there! a bus? well, shoot, man! whadaya say we take ourselves a little spin around the place. go ahead! go back! i'm not going back in there. i told ya this was a one way trip. now stand aside. get on assholes! come on, chief! let's go! your horses are hungry, that's what she did say, come sit down beside me, an' feed them some hay. my horses ain't hungry, they wontt eat your hay-ay-aeee. yeah, kid? i dunno. where do ya wanna go? breakfast! hell, i know just the place where we can chow down an' thaw out before we shoot back on home. 'kay? soo, fare-the-weel, darlin'. i'm gone on my way, my wagons are loaded, my whip's in my hand. this is it! come on in an' warm up. you can put some of that gear on to keep warm. an' there's beer an' coke in the cooler an' some food over here. come on, don't be shy now, you're among friends. why don't one of you boys help ol' chief there get warmed up? come here a minute, cheswick. you, too, sefelt. hey, all you guys, come over here, i wanna show you somethin'. yeah, did you ever see a boat like that? why, i'll bet you could go all the way to hawaii in that boat! tahiti. the philippines. tibet. ease up on the star drag, keep the tie up, up and work hell outta that fella. up, i told you! keep that tip up. up! you had you one big silver there. what is it, kid? he's a big flounder. could weigh two, three hundred. you got to lift him in with a winch. like hell we will! we got the muscle standing right here. all we need is a couple gaffin' hooks and some rope. steady does it, sefelt! yeah, ya should've come along with us, miss ratched, an' gotten a little sun on your cheeks and maybe caught a fish or two. yeah, that's kind of crazy, ain't it! i don't have any. i'm sure sorry, ma'am. gawd, but i am. that window glass was so clean i didn't even see it. you guys want cigarettes! here's the goddamn cigarettes! say it again. say. god bless america! goddammit, you sly son-of-a-bitch! does anybody else know? shit! this is too much! chief, i tell you we're gonna bust outta this place an' make it all the way to canada before they know what bit 'em. ya like that, chief, huh? yeah, well, well, well. 'bout time the rest of the world got a gander at big chief bromden cuttin' down the boulevard, stopping just long enough for virgins. oh, man, i tell you, i tell you, you'll have women trippin' you and beating you to the floor. shhh, chief, don't talk. never talk! remember, this is just between you an' me. do ya understand? hey, how ya doin'? what are they? you an' me, chief. you know, i never got your name. you comin' in to hold my hand? yeah. well, see ya around, itsu. yeah. hi. you boys can take a cigarette break now. whatever you say, doc. uh, uh. what's that for? surely, goodness and mercy will follow this, eh, honey? i got ten thousand watts and hot to trot. first woman takes me on is gonna light up like a pinball machine an' pay off in silver dollars. just fine, billy boy, just fine. full of piss an' vinegar! they checked my plugs and cleaned my points. yes, ma'am? thank you, ma'am. ma'am, i'm as gentle as a puppy dog. why, i haven't licked the tar out of an aide for two weeks! hi ya, doc! why, thank you, ma'am. whew. man, i tell you, that place up there is somethin' else! well, ya boys been practicin' up for the big game? i figured as much. yeah, well, let me tell ya somethin'. while i was up there gettin' in-lightened, i came up with one hellava plan. plan?. oh, yeah, the plan. yeah. miss ratched, would you please save a space for my aunt? she's comin' down from portland. thank you, ma'am. gotta go now, ma'am. thank you, ma'am. hey, sam, bet ya two bucks ya lose. how 'bout twenty? bet! you're a witness, doc! come on, wake up, you ding-a-lings. the game is on. pass the ball, harding. don't hang onto it. pass it, goddammit! harding, here, over here! ya deaf! i said pass the ball! i was open! come on, let's play ball! what kind of crap is that??? get down there where ya belong, martini. you, too, scanlon. you take it out, harding! harding, get back here! candy. candy, over here. hey, doc, time out. terrific, baby, terrific! hi ya doin', rose? how's your ass been holdin' up, honey? come on, girls, we're holding up the game! miss ratched, this is my aunt candy and her friend rose. miss ratched was kind enough to save you ladies a seat. talk to ya at half time! whadaya doin', there's no one there! okay, martini. that's okay. now you watch me. time out! replacement coming in! harding out! time in! hold it! time out! i said harding out! i said out! i'm the coach! you can come back later! scanlon out! martini out! good boy, thank you, billy. harding, pass the ball! run, chief, run! run, chief, run! ya fuckin' coon, you're not on the ward now! we got your black ass now, washington, wanna bet another twenty? prayin', brother. prayin'. 'kay. there they are, chief! where are they goin'? our prayers have been answered, turkle! our prayers have been answered! i tell ya, there's an angel of mercy standing out there, turkle. come an' see. you's better believe it, brother! now, wouldn't you pray for twenty bucks, a bottle booze an' a piece of that angel cake? hiya, girls. man, you look good 'nough to eat! come here, sugar. he's a patient, rose. yeah. he can't hear you, rose. he's just a big deaf an' dumb indian. he's in charge. sure, i know chuck. i know him. sure, she understands what you mean. she's not dumb. why do you think rose came to visit us? rose is very interested in hospitals and hospital facilities. aren't you, rose? yeah, that's a good idea, turkle. why don't ya take rose on a little tour of our facilities. 'kay, lets get under way. down the ol' hatch, chief. who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. medication time! medication time! rise and shine! rise and shine! time to say goodbye. everybody up, up, up! don't scream, honey. ellis ain't gonna hurt you. ellis is nice. nice ellis. see the nice lady. there, see, nice lady touch ellis. don't worry 'bout the road! we'll hit the road! it'll be there when we're ready! ain't that right, fellas? i jus' want you guys to have a good time. are ya havin' a good time? you. you. good. good. lez have some fun. whatsa matter with ya. ain'tcha havin' a good time. whadaya want? ya wanna drink? a cigarette. whatsamatter, kid, what's botherin' you? marry who? candy? hell no, billy, she's just a good friend, that's all. why don't ya go tell 'er. go on, son, now's your chance. come on, you lovers, it's gettin' late. in ya go. it's okay, kid. everything it going to be okay. i'll come back an' getcha in a while. 'kay. hey, harding, wake me in an hour. ahhh, billy. hey, billy, stop cryin'. you don't have to cry. you ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of. she ain't gonna tell you mother. stop crying. let's go! let's go, chief. billy, oh, billy boy.