a lot of women experience difficulties around the anniversary of the miscarriage or the baby's expected due date. it's perfectly normal.
you are. think about where you were just four months ago. - are you still sober? kate hesitates. dr. browning gives her a penetrating look.
did you stop?
that's all that matters. let's try to stay focused on the. positive. grief is different for everyone. you have to take it at your own pace.  keep writing in your journal. you're doing fine. rate smiles weakly. unconvinced.
i'd like that. you can come on in-
o well, let's start with what youca me here for. you don't have anything' be worried about with bsther. john breathes a sigh of relief. kate gives-a dubious smile.
no, of course not.
it's. not all good news . you do have a serious problem in. your home.
i was able to coax her into admitting that there's been some tension between the two of-you. she's really tr!ing very hard to please you. the problem is that you're blocking her attempts-to attach-with you. that's why whenever something bad happens, you blame her, whether it's really her fault or not.
i doubt you're even aware that you're doing it. but subconsciously you t aunt her to be bad because' demonizing her is your way of covering your own feelings _ of inadequacy as a mother.
but you do have doubts. you worry that' you could relapse.
frankly, everything. your guilt over what happened with max is preventing- you from bonding with esther. kate turns to john, aghast, but he's taking this very seriously.
it's made you doubt your fitness as a mother. and that terrifies you. so you're having trouble with esther, alonv comes sister abigail with these stories about her being some kind of monster and you believe them because
it f s easier than with yojw fear ,that there's something hwrong th you.
she's an extremely bright, thoughtful, sensitive little girl going through a very challenging time. esther clutches her head, rocking back and forth.
you just have to learn to be more patient. .you're really very lucky to have her.
it also-wouldn't be the first time that you've tried to blame esther for. something that was really your fault.
i have an opening held for you at a residential rehabilitation clinic about forty-five miles from here. they specialize in extended treatment for women who are relapsed alcoholics. kate is stunned silent. she gapes at. them. with a mix of anger and fear, unable to stop' a flash of guilt. how much do they know?.
you don't think this behavior effects them?