no.
ahh .
it can happen
i came early. g'bye wilma. g'bye barney.
a. coat. a raincoat. sleeves. barney has begun to snap his fingers and move his shoulders, becoming part of "the scene", about which wilma couldn't care less.
buying a well larded rib roast.
wild, huh?
now you've met.
itm not surprised,
ex-wife, g' night. petulia turns to face her husband david, who has taken a few steps toward her. she whirls around to face the departing archie.
like what?
your hair, it gleams.
left arm or right? how do you brush it?
an hour a day.
you' 11 have a problem. the bursa sheath. very sensitive, bursitis. it'll hurt.
i wouldn't be able to help much. just aspirin.
sure.
my divorce doesn't become final till next
what?
six.
actually, only one besides mike.
does this trouble you?
i suggested my place.
no auto.
only if we make it one.
she's ninety-ones eh?
not at ninety-one, hell
eh?
saxophone? electric organ? tuba?
you said that.
are we?
about to become lovers?
ah, you swinging young marrieds. he leaves.
real honest-to-god tears, petulia?
petulia, you're a kook. he exits the elevator and whistles at a cruising cab.
if he gets you there in time, you can still pick the winning ticket and make somebody happy.
it's the pepsi generation 0 he walks into the night alone.
i'm up, thanks. then his dizzy brain realizes the ringing is continuing and is constant. he sees the alarm clock, 6:1 he stumbles and staggers to the front door.
yeah.  yeah 000 yeah 000 he opens the door to come face to face with the large and twirly front end of a tuba. the tuba is stark white for no particular reason.
no, i've been up for hours, waiting for the doorbell to ring,
get the hell out of here . please. he reaches to help petulia to her feet but as he touches her waist to lift her, she screams and faints,
don't you know you can puncture a lunge
shut up.
what do you think i am?
get your clothes off,
i'm awake! i'm awake; how many times are you gonna call?i he hangs up, then realizes this was the first wake up call.
barney? archie. fine fine , , fine , i want you to look at a patient for me. now. at my place. my apartment, barney, it's very complicated and i haven't had my morning coffee yet. her name is petulia. i don't know her last name, barney. yes, petulia. barney, shut up. i have to get to the hospital.
prudence.
i want him here every day. for therapy.
every day. tell him that. the woman says it to oliver in spanish. oliver says something obviously obscene.
what'd he say?
you sure? otherwise we keep you in the hospital. you're not well, just better. say that. the woman tells oliver in spanish as archie continues examining the leg.
sorry, pal. oliver says something in spanish.
every day. same time. two o'clock, right on the dot. sorry , , oliver swears in spanish and the woman clacks her tongue.
is she okay?
how is she?
oh, great, terrific, you wouldn't believe it. terrific. and her rib?
why do we have to eat topless?
barney ?
forever?
it's the stuff barney gave you.
i'll drive you home.
don't be silly.
how'm i prying?
if i were prying, i would ask you how you broke your rib. right?
wrong. the rib was broken hours before your fall. l' during this the bus comes to a stop. petulia rises shakily to board it but she can't go through the entrance with the tuba.
i'll keep it for you.
petulia, take a cab!
petulia, where are you going?
hi, polo.
thanks.
that's a tuba.
you just had to say it.
"predictable polo." has a certain zing. how're the kids?
okay.
you need anything, polo?
we were a handsome couple. this makes her so angry she can now say what she came to say.
hello? hello?
great. hello?
how about that?
what's so great about not fighting?
you told me about warren. he sits beside her, well not really beside her, actually as far away from her as the bed will permit. she decides she will instantly get up off the bed, but she does not.
if he's a bright guy, he'll make out okay.
poor polo.
tell the kids i'll come for them 0 sunday at eight.
i appreciate it, polo.
you've got a run in your stocking. polo exits, archie can't figure out why in the world he even thought of making love to polo after all this time. he sits down on the unmade bed, finds one of polo's cookies on the sheets, and pops it into his mouth.
nobody in the world can sit on the grass and not wrinkle. she looks.
no, perfect. not even a blade of grass. why don't i marry you, may?
tell me about bobby kennedy. she looks at him, smiling.
choose a subject. ice cubes. any damn thing. take either side. talk for thirty seconds against ice cubes.
that dress shop of yours. "boutique." i've never seen one of those .  your rubber mannequins .  i've never once seen the pipe sticking out of their bottoms. not once, not one damn time. that bothers me, may. may stops. she doesn1t know whether to be annoyed or amused. shets a little of both.
i'm not hostile, it's frustration. in all that perfection, how could a clumsy clot like me possibly be fitted in? i mean, without spoiling the whole effect. they have now reached the area of the stunted trees. nuns are passing through empty benches; kids are improvising on the stage and shouting.
no, she's found a fellah.
what i should do is marry you. for may this has been said once too often. she is now
it would be a fake list.
okay; they laugh, kiss, grab at each other, and hurry toward the parking lot for archie's car.
well of all people.
don't ask. petulia and the old man are back joining archie and may on the steps.
the tuba.
i tried to return it. the place was locked.
i tried to return the tuba friday
all that broken glass
goodbye, mr. howard. goodbye, petulia. petulia crosses to mr. howard and presses a dollar bill into his shirt pocket.
i'm sorry, mr, howard. goodbye, petulia. but petulia just sits on the edge of a chair tapping her fingers in annoyance. mr. howard leaves. the door remains open for petulia to leave. may watches petulia in amused tolerance.
what's the next move, petulia?
goodbye, petulia. he advances on her, somewhat threateningly.
i should explain about petuliaa she is a kook. we are going to be married.
about what?
polo is none of your damned business.
needless to say she's never even met polo.
oh, come on . o
oh, god.
who's trying to kill me?
petulia, go home and save what's his name. i really don't want to see you anymore. archie's voice is cold. petulia is suddenly defeated, mostly by may. she gets up and leaves.
you're kidding.
well, if you're on the brink of something. how did they let you in.
do you know it's almost three? doesn't mr. danner worry at all about things like that? petulia looks at him reverently.
petulia, you've got to stop following me around like this. petulia is absolutely silent but her eyes are devouring him with infinite tenderness which archie is finding very touching. it is a facet of petulia he has never seen before.
where to? i could use a steak sandwich. there's a jazz joint that stays open all night. he reaches to start the car just as she grabs at him, € awkwardly, aggressively.
no.
it m not really hungry.
am i being punished?
i'd rather have a new plastic raincoat.
shall i get another cart? polo can fill three or four when she really puts her mind to it. petulia gets the point and instantly takes her place
okay. wells why not do some slides anyhow? to satisfy myself, that's who. okay. he hangs up the phone and sees petulia looking at him.
well, we knocked off another one. another notch in the old stethoscope.
i keep a little black bow tie in my desk. in 0 case the services are in the morning and 1 have no time to go home. the neekband's all stained with sweat.
have to pick up the, kids, i'm already late.
i guess so
will you be here when i get back?
where?
listen, this worries me. really.
and you hate loganberry jam.
hi, shut up, you guys,
mike.
he's not all that fat. during this series of dumb, ordinary telephone conversa-
they used to think that escape from that prison was impossible.
warren. well, we could have gone somewhere else. i didn't know you had been.
no - well, thanks, actually i haven't been before, stevie.
who doesn't?
i called you stevie two weeks ago -e we were all calling you stevie two weeks ago -- i was.
that's what warren said, eh?
how about clams on the wharf when we get back?
oh.
no, it just slipped my mind. archie really does like his kids but his thoughts are somewhere else.
€ hello there.
warren take you here?
he would see the sign, eh? see
alright? the boys look at him uncertainly.
so i noticed.
why not?
you 'gust wait! stevie is instantly excited,
bet your life'.
just leave it to melt
oh.
unless you guys don't want to.
yeah.
i want you to.
okay, it's a dealt mike turns away.
a nice, neat kid. after all the exuberance he feels so empty. everywhere things are scattered about.
mrnmmmm?
forget it.
yes, really they are all good friends, and they laugh good- naturedly,
nothing.
itm sorry.
yeah i guess so. pity.
you left the needle in. the nun would like to scream at archie about the impropriety of his presence here but she can't. she is proud of the bottle of blood.
take the needle out.
i suppose they've tried.
yes,
i would put a bit more tape around the needle,
how's your patient?
mrs. danner. how's mrs. danner?
she woke up?
let me.
mr. mendoza? mendoza yawns sleepily.
i'm dr. bollen. do you know mrs. danner? petulia danner?
petulia danner. she gave me this address, the mexican shakes his head in complete indifference, is already thinking about going back to sleep, and starts closing the door,
she was beaten. almost to death. are you mr. mendoza?
this is for you,
can i talk to you for a minute? mendoza, with no idea what archie is saying, starts closing the door and pocketing the money.
do either of you fellows speak spanish? a negro teenager i speak a lot of polish, if it would be any help, sir.
i've got to talk with this man in here. a woman was almost beaten to death.
not here.
yes.
listen, just find a cop, huh;
who is this guy, mendoza? why am i always finding you in a different bed? what are you?
who beat you up?
nothing happened to my hand.
did david beat you up? was it mendoza? why did you send him money?
i don't care.
petulia,you're turning me into a nut. why hasn't david been here?
petulia, is it possible for you to tell the truth about anything?
there was no mrs o mendoza z
bring who home?
petuliag i don't understand the kind of world you live ina come on. for ghri.st$s sake, a pretty young gi.rl9 what the hell is going on, who would lay a hand on you, how could you get so screwed up? through this petulia simply lies there, just looking a archie.
i cans t stand it.
good idea. police the area.
always make sure you've got water. you'll find some in the kitchen. what's on t.v.?
switch the fire off then. stevie goes to switch the electric fireplace off.
it's been really keen, mom.
not "dumb" archie?
i'll get it. he rises quickly and moves to the refreshment counter behind the grandstand. archie finds a telephone booth. polo watches him at the € phone booth. her eyes lose their warmth. the women's team races around the track. archie returns with a box of cracker jacks.
you don't even know her.
she's not going to die.
she has her first visitor. mr. danner. polo couldn't care less. five skaters smash into each other on the rink but polo doesn't flinch. she wouldn't think of turning to archie for comfort.
"his mastahs in'hydraul:ics." they sit coldly wit4 their children, a million miles apart.
where is she?
who picked her up.
they kidnapped hero he hurries down the hall. the'nun is startled.
why did you leave the hospital?
i want you to go back to the hospital.
petulia _m® ! during this mr. danner has entered. he is really the only one not good at the charade.
you told the policeman you had a dizzy spell.
your son nearly killed this girl.
i'm looking for the ticket for my raincoat.
have you thought of doing something about that?
; ; ^ ^ ¿½¿½¿½,, that twi lch v v d.
you do. come and see me. don't touch it, it'll give you a phobia. i'll fix it for free.
warren, you're a beautiful human being. they turn to watch the boys at play. nearby, the guide is explaining something to the indians.
we?-re going to see the penguins. everything okay with your
there must be some mistake. he sags down on a chair, draped in his research books. the two old gentlemen couldn't be more pleased.
you've got the wrong apartment l
what screwball ?i then he stops, he knows what screwball.
no gift card?
this one heat, and this one humidity, right?
okay, okay! goodbye,' he enters the greenhouse, having to stoop almost double, as the two old gentlemen exit from the apartment.
when did you get back?
so, things go better with mr. and mrs. danner,
bad timing. dumb archie.
we'd never be apart again0
i do. petulia twists in pain. the nurse looks over.
you see?
who? her pain has subsided, and she looks up at archie.
yes.
say the word.
you turned me into a nut.
yes, i think so, who knows? i hope
about what?
arnold? he starts laughing, then she starts laughing. he crosses to her and holds her hand in his very tightly. then he leaves.