tv repair.
yeah. tv busted?
well here i am.
holy cow. look at that. had a little disaster didn't ya fella.
we'll get you fixed up in no time.
i know how i'd feel if mine went out. almost like losing a friend.
well that makes it a lucky day for both of us, hunh?
what's the rush?
pleasantville?
gosh, i loved that show. watched it for years.
hey--who did muff in take to the masquerade ball when her date came down with the measles?
right. and how did she dress him?
nice .  nice .
remember the one where bud lost his cousin when he was s'posed to be watching him?
what department store did they go to?
mcginty's.
that's right.
say--why don't you take this remote instead. it's got a little more "ooomph" in it.
sure. big beautiful set like this--you want something that'll put you right in the show.
oh--couldn't charge you for something like that. it's free.
oh sure. big fan like yourself. it's the least i could do.
well, i better get going. your show's almost on, and .  it's almost time for your date.
take care now.
told you it was your lucky day. bet you thought i was just a fan or something.
a miracle.
 see, every time i thought i'd found someone they'd turn out to disappoint me. they'd know the early episodes, but they wouldn't know the later ones .  they'd know all about muffin but they wouldn't know about bud .
shh! can't talk like that now. you're in .  you know .
dream come true, hunh?
well, you don't have to worry about that anymore.
why would i do that?
oh sure you do .  "mcintire's department store" .  "their father dressed as prince charming." that was gorgeous bud.
you know--this is a pretty strange way of showing your appreciation.
but you don't know how long i've been looking for someone like you.
i'm very disappointed .  in fact .  i'm starting to get a little upset.
weil wouldn't you! you look for someone for years .  you pour your heart into it .  this is a privilege you know. i don't think i better talk about this right now.
i don't think we should discuss this until i'm a little bit more composed.
maybe in a day or so when i'm not so emotional .
hello there.
well c'mere, young fella.
you know i've been thinkin' .  i might have been a little "hasty" the other day when you asked to come home--just took me by such surprise, ya know--ha ha .
so even though i can't make any promises, well--i figured if you asked me real nice--i might just be willing to talk about it again.
what?
bud--i thought you wanted to come home.
i'll be honest with you bud. i'm getting sorta concerned about what i'm seeing in some of these re-runs .
like when margaret henderson makes her cookies for whitey. .  those aren't your cookies bud.
excuse me?
bud .
i want a word with you .
what the hell do you think you're doing!
what do i mean! you think this is a toy? you think it's your own little goddamn coloring book .
a deluge doesn't just "happen." bolts of lightning don't just "happen" .  you burned down an elm tree for christ's sake .
oh. i'm sorry--refresh my memory. what episode does the orgy happen in, again?
it was a gift bud. it was so special. you liked these things as much as i did, remember: warm smells in the family kitchen? a smile from a stranger? you know how rare that is?
oh no? let me show you something!
"you don't deserve this place."
where's the remote control i gave you?
because you're coming home. i'm gonna put this place back the way it was.
excuse me?
just gimme the goddamn remote!
ow!
you're not going anywhere. you're gonna get that remote and you're gonna come home and we're gonna make everybody happy again!!!
don't make me get rough with you! i can get awfully fucking rough!
hope you're proud of yourself.
okay, let's cut the shit and get right to it. where's that remote control?
because you're coming home.
oh. you're a smart little bastard aren't you? it's kind of like a restricted ticket. you gotta leave the same way you came.
just gimme the damn remote!
i don't know what went wrong. you answered every question. you knew every detail. the senior prom .  mcintire's department store. we had all the same warm memories: sock hops. the church social .
how long do you think you've been here?
much less than that. an hour and a half.
see--and this is really great-- the show was on for what--half an hour a week? so that means for every week that goes by in pleasantville, only half an hour goes by in the real world.
now buddy, you're going on trial tomorrow. and if they find you guilty, you're gonna be stuck here forever. well, not forever--lemme think .  five year sentence .  carry the three .  that comes out to .  sixteen and a half centuries, and that's rounding down.
this is tv pal. they don't fool around.
oh sure. for the first hundred years. then it starts to get a little monotonous. sleep well.