i'll never get into this damned thing.
ah, messers bialystock and bloom, i presume. ha, ha, ha, forgive the pun.
remarkable. remarkable. a stunning piece of work.
i think it's a very important play. i, for one, never realized that the third reich meant germany. i mean it's drenched with historical goodies like that.
oh, dear, you're staring at my dress. i should explain. i'm going to the choreographer's ball tonight. there's a prize for the best costume.
i'm not so sure about tonight. i'm supposed to be the grand duchess -- i think i look more like tugboat annie. what do you think?
no be cruel. be brutal. be brutal. because heaven knows they will. well, what do you think, mr. bloom?
do you really think it brings out my eyes?
ummmm. well, if you're so worried about the wig, get it, o' wicked witch of the west.
didn't i meet you on a summer cruise?
oh, quel dommage.
how would you like to go back to teasing hair, big mouth?
please, please, that's what we're here for. be careful, that hurt.
yes. dopey show-girls in gooey gowns. two-three-kick-turn! turn- turn-kick-turn! it's enough to make you throw up! at last a chance to do straight drama! to deal with conflict, with inner truth. roger de bris presents history. of course, i think we should add a little music. that whole third act has got to go. they're losing the war. it's too depressing. we'll have to put something in there. aaahghhh! i see it! a line of beautiful girls, dressed as storm troopers, black patent leather boots, all marching together.  two-three-kick-turn! turn-turn- kick-turn!
wait a minute. this is a very big decision. it might effect the course of my entire life. i'll have to think about it. i'll do it.
get on the phone. send out a casting call. call every agent in town. i want to see everybody. everybody.
i don't know. i rather fancy that one.
oh, this is bedlam, bedlam. we must have some order.
will all the dancing hitlers please wait in the wings. we're only taking the singing hitlers.
hello, arthur. tell us something about yourself.
what happened?
what are you going to sing for us arthur?
thank you.
next please.
well, jason, what have you been doing lately?
good. and what are you going to sing for us, jason?
thaaank you.
thaaank you.
thaaank you.
thaank you.
thaaank you.
what are you saying?
what have you done, lsd?
i mean in show business.
what do you do best?
oh, sing. sing!
sing a song! just sing a song!
could be an exciting piece of off- beat casting. of course, we'd have to do something about that coiffure.
congratulations! have you seen the reviews? have you seen the lines at the box office? it's a torrent, it's an avalanche, it's the biggest hit on broadway!
help! help! he's crazy! he's going to kill me. call the police! call the police! help, help, murder, murder, rape, rape!!!