where are my clothes? a blob beneath the sheets next to him answers. simone is the model on the walls and is really, really hot.
sorry, i gotta go. i'm late. richard hurries to the kitchen. socks are on the butcher block next to an empty champagne bottle. shoes in the sink. he finds his pants on the floor and puts them on. richard have you seen my belt? simone looks around and sees it tied to her headboard.
baby, i just can't do this anymore.
you're just too much for me. and i'm just another guy too wrapped up in his job.
let's not end it like that. it's been an amazing three and a half weeks. thank you. and you should know that you have the nicest ass i've ever been with.
i do. it's magnificent.
i know you do. simone smiles and begins to seductively pull the sheets off her naked body. richard shakes his head "no" and smiles. richard i really gotta go.
jillian, you are the best.
see ya tomorrow.
she doesn't exactly consult with me on these things.
welcome to my nightmare. the doors close as.
you've got a conference call in thirty, a staff meeting at nine, and your immigration lawyer sent some papers for you to sign.
nice job.
i'm sure. you want him on the phone?
what? richard doesn't know what margaret is talking about, until she nods at the cup. he's embarrassed.
uh.
oh. well, it won't be wrinkled for long.
yes.
no. i've sprayed them with stuff that will take care of the wrinkles.
anything that's wrinkled.
will do. richard makes a note. margaret stops to make her point.
got it.
he's up and about to pop.
no problem. i'll just cancel my trip this weekend.
it was my grandma's ninetieth birthday. but no big deal. you were right before, i need to stay focused. professional.
well tell gammy that i'm sorry. mom, she's making me work this weekend. it's not like i volunteered. i'm sure dad is pissed. margaret comes to richard's desk. he tries to wrap it up. richard i have to go. yeah. no, i'm not going to do that! no. sorta. mom! no. bye. richard hangs up the phone. richard sorry about that. damage control.
no. no. um. yes? but as i've explained to them, after three years together, you're the only person on the planet who can make me editor, so that's the way it is. richard's phone rings and he picks it up.
he said you knew each other. you weren't sure so you told me to set a meeting. we rescheduled on him four times.
i'll charge up the cattle prod.
excuse me, ms. mills, risk management needs you right away. the sight of richard inspires margaret. she turns to gilbertson with a wicked grin on her face.
who's getting married?
you and him?
assistant.
uh-huh. margaret smiles and snuggles up to richard so he can put his arm around her. richard is truly afraid. richard i'm, uh, marrying my boss? margaret turns and puckers her lips to let richard know that she's ready for a kiss. the two slowly begin to come together. just as their dry lips are about to touch, richard chickens out and kisses the hair on the top of her head.
plum.
no. plum is "smokier" than purple.
tulips. but only when they're in season.
miss mittens.
nope. gilbertson smiles and puts down his pad.
we are?
sitka.
alaska.
assistant.
i quit. richard leaves margaret's office. she still has her coffee cup outstretched in her hand.
you shut up. you just lost your "i get to tell richard what to do" privileges.
you want to talk with me? fine. grab your broom and let's go. margaret is dumbstruck. the receptionist is shocked. the elevator arrives and richard gets in. margaret follows. as the doors close, richard shouts out to the receptionist. richard watch my phones!
your plan is psychotic.
aren't canadians supposed to be nice?
ok. fine. then if we "make this happen"? you're promoting me to editor.
we go to alaska and lie to my family? i risk going to jail? well, you're making me editor for that. i mean, did you think i'd do this out of the kindness of my heart?
you know, during my employee orientation, the hr rep didn't mention anything about me marrying you.
nice story little orphan annie, but that sounds like your problem. not mine. margaret is stuck. richard really does have the upper hand.
no. but they have huts. teepees really. and you have to poop in a bucket. but otherwise, just like the four seasons. but with bears.
um. shouldn't we talk about what we're going to say to my parents? margaret doesn't look up, annoyed with the question.
almost.
i told €˜em we've been dating for six months. we've kept it a secret from everyone.  . and that you're a naughty minx in the sack. richard and margaret make it to the attendant at the gate. margaret is not amused by richard's attempt at humor.
bringing her home to meet my folks. she's
ok then. you're a sweet lady. thanks. richard hustles to the plane as they shut the doors.
hey, he's reading.
oh, you can tell him the truth.
that's me. richard turns to close the overhead compartment.
what are you guys doing here? what's with the sign?
didn't tell you what?
uh. margaret? you need to come over here. like now. honey. the handsome man sees richard with the banner people, calling for margaret to come over. margaret winces.
everyone, this is margaret.
now, ah, where did you hear that? the whole "getting married" thing?
what, ah, did you tell him?
no. really. what did you say?
it wasn't a secret. we didn't tell anyone.
no, i didn't mean.
she's not good with surprises.
come on, it'll be ok. i promise. richard points to a small island about a mile away.
hey dad. richard shakes his father's hand. it's a little stiff.
you too.
yeah. you'd think you could make it to the airport to mark the occasion. grandma annie interrupts.
c'mon dad.
don't listen to him, margaret.
calm down.
hell if i know.
you think i'd bring you here if i did?
tell €˜em what?
wrong answer. no way.
no, crazy was lying to the federal officer.
well i'm not making my gammy an accomplice to a class c felony! for one second could you not be so selfish?
yeah, you know, that thing you do where you only worry about yourself every second of every day?
look. we're awful, awful people. in the last forty eight hours, we've lied to.  everyone. we need to protect the people downstairs. we can't ask these good, decent, not awful people to lie for us. let's keep the darkside to ourselves. margaret takes a second to make up her mind.
what've i lied to you about?
i never said that.
when does that come up?
well, maybe i didn't tell you because you would have fired me if you knew.
come on! you're always yammering on about your scrappy childhood, and how you fought for those soccer scholarships, and how the rich kids made fun of you in prep school for working in the kitchen. you're totally anti- rich.
oh yes you are! and you know what makes it worse? you have money!
every penny i have. blah, blah, blah. you need new material.
you were going to promote me anyway.
nope. not at all. margaret takes a look at herself in the mirror.
be right back. richard leaves to fetch lime wedges. geoffrey elbows debbie in the side, "what was that?"
she's been there since she was nineteen.
there's some salmon. margaret shakes her head no. richard crab? margaret nods yes. richard steps away to find a waiter. geoffrey watches his son do margaret's bidding.
uh, sure. honey.
gert!? richard snaps his arm back, hitting margaret in the head, and spilling her tonic water on her shirt. he doesn't notice what he's done, and leaves margaret. she's peeved. richard
from chicago? gertrude laughs. the group watches these two see each for the first time in years. there is instant chemistry, and richard has forgotten about margaret completely.
you what?
did your husband move up here too?
oh my god. i'm sorry.
well.  richard hasn't recovered from seeing gertrude. richard uh, uh, um, i.
uh. sure.
i love you too, grandma. grandma hugs the couple. everyone smiles except geoffrey and gertrude.
margaret mill's phone. one second please. richard comes back to the group and hands margaret the phone. richard it's our friend, frank. richard's tone let's margaret know there's a problem.
go where?
um. she's outside. debbie and richard turn around and look out a picture window. they see margaret running with balzac above her head.
what are you doing?
are you drunk?
did the dingo eat your baby, too?
relax. i've got your information backed up on the laptop. i'll just get you a new phone and switch the number. no problem.
now come on. you're going somewhere with my mom and the girls.
you want a new phone? you're going.
why's that, mr. maguire?
sorry €˜bout that.
you're right. don't know what i was thinking.
that's great for them.
good. busy. you know.
congratulations.
uh-huh. geoffrey stops hitting golf balls for a second. he's been thinking about this moment for a long time.
dad. please. i'm in new york. margaret's in new york. we have jobs.
again with the secretary thing! i've told you, i'm an assistant!
well if i'm "just a secretary", why would you want me up here anyway? sounds like you're doing great without me.
then how is it? explain it to me. geoffrey looks around to see if anyone is listening.
this man was a doctor?
i'm not sure this is coming out right.
stop being so dramatic.
so this is all about what you want?
and me in new york with margaret? that isn't serious?
things change, dad.
things change.
yes. things change.
nice, dad. we gotta have these cosby moments more often. this is great. richard drops his club and walks back to the house.
i didn't know you were home! i was outside chopping wood!
i had my ipod on!
you didn't see me?
wait. were you tryin' to seduce me?
mmm-hmmm.
fine. but don't come sneaking in there. you're still my boss. that'd be sexual harassment.
it was kinda weird seeing you naked.
i'm just saying. it was weird.
how was that not weird?
we're like teammates?
well, if we're teammates can i sleep in the bed?
margaret?
don't take this the wrong way.
you're a very beautiful woman. margaret smiles with her head turned away from richard.
what the.
come on in mom! debbie enters with a tray of pastries, fruit and coffee. richard ah mom, you made your cinnamon rolls.
i gotta run into town to get margaret a new phone.
no problem.
i wish she hadn't. i mean she almost caught us. damn, that was close. like a pig in shit, richard continues to dig in and doesn't pay attention to margaret.
i'm sorry, what? you gotta try these. margaret looks at richard with disgust.
huh?
you made me bring you here! you told me i
and what? start over at the bottom again? no way.
know what? this is none of your business.
you wanna know why you're here? i'll show you why you're here.
we leave in a half hour.
yes sir, it is!
see ya on the line, bek bek.
put this on. i'll meet you outside.
ah. put it on.
you'll thank me later. richard walks towards the warehouse. margaret follows in her
so his hands don't go too far. so he doesn't.  richard makes a chopping motion. margaret winces.
ah, it's been a while.
okay, okay. richard and margaret go to the end of the line. richard expertly demonstrates with a knife. richard you grab a fish, but be gentle, cause you don't want to bruise it. open her up, tilt the knife, and then pull with the grain of the fish. two quick stokes to clear the organs attached to the spine.
i did this for five summers. dad wanted me to earn my stripes before i took over.
nah, i loved it here.
the slime line? hell no. nobody loves the slime line. i loved this place. the people. growing up, running this place was all i wanted. margaret scrapes a huge glop of guts out of a fish.
i wanted to run this place. it was comfortable here. it was what i knew. don't forget the spine.
but then things changed. and it wasn't so comfortable anymore.
stuff.
yeah.  richard stops, he can tell margaret knows something. richard oh my god. she told you didn't she?
about the.  you know.
ah, shit!
ok, get it all out.
you done? margaret nods yes.
when gert crushed my heart into little pieces, a life up here didn't seem so great anymore.
at first it was about getting as far away from this place as possible, but then i fell in love with it.
with editing. see, as an only kid i'd always read a lot, but until i worked for you i didn't love it. i mean, when i realized that we could find the next cuckoo's nest, or catch 22, or.
exactly! we could find the next to kill a mockingbird. god damn, how great is that? margaret smiles. she never knew that richard had this kind of passion for the job. richard so when i tell my folks that i want to spend my life finding books? my dad goes ape shit. "how dare you forsake your family.  you'll come crawling back to us.  you're nothing without our help." i left that night and we didn't talk for a year. haven't been back here since.
no. margaret gives richard a disbelieving look. richard sorta. ok, yes. coming back here with you.  i get the promotion and i get to show off. you're editor in chief. you make a good prop.
so now you know i'm a petty asshole. am i trustworthy again?
yeah. thanks.
yes, everyone at work thinks you're a lesbian.
i know. just lashing out. margaret smiles.
hey ramone.
he was my shop teacher.
like eight thousand? depends on the time of the year.
you got the phone i called about?
thanks, ramone.
it's our stuff.
you have no idea.
it's our cart. i didn't know you were such a prude.
i doubt it. when i started, you were still wearing those ugg boot things.
i'm just saying it's been a long time. i know it all. margaret turns on her new phone. it searches for a signal.
where?
margaret 1, richard 0.
at woodstock?
what'd they sing again?
you had a lot of soul there, canada.
wow. i'm getting shut out here.
knew that.
huh.
holy shit! you are a lesbian! a mother walking by with her 7 year old gives richard a nasty look. richard my bad. the mother walks on. margaret is mortified and walks faster.
that's a really long time.
i knew it had been slow going, but i figured there was a booty call in there somewhere.
i find that hard to believe.
i'll have to take your word for it.
how, exactly, do you define top notch? margaret is smiling as she listens to a message on her phone. in an instant, she's all business.
c'mon. i got an idea. richard leads margaret to the door. as they are leaving margaret shouts out.
thanks for letting us use your computer.
show me around will you mrs. whiting? it's been years.
she'll be out of there in two shakes. out of the corner of his eye, richard catches gertrude teaching a class of second graders. he stops transfixed.
uh, sure. mrs. whiting leaves. richard goes to the door and gertrude sees him. good lord can that woman smile. she waves him in.
patrick's right. he did smell like eggs.
remember when mr. megher made us do this after school for a week?
was not!
c'mon! i had the shot. i took it. gertrude rolls her eyes. she's heard this a hundred times.
what? you loved my top gun.
that's right. ice.  man. i am dangerous. richard clicks his teeth together, trying to mimic tom cruise. gertrude is not impressed.
that cuts deep. i'll have you know that
it's been awhile, but i can still tell when something's wrong with you. gertrude doesn't want to say anything. richard what is it? you know i hate it when you get all quiet.
better way to say what?
are you apologizing for high school?
oh, thank god. i thought this was like, something big.
i coulda used this about five years ago, but i'm all good now, promise. thank you for saying that, though. gertrude sees that richard isn't getting her point. she pulls herself together.
whoa, whoa, whoa. rewind.
why are you doing this?
no, i don't. i don't know it. richard begins to pace. not sure what to say. every time he opens his mouth, he can't find the words. then, from the door, an interruption.
uh, you all done?
great. great.
uh. yeah. uh-huh.
nothing. about her school. the kids and stuff. apparently my second grade teacher was a pot head.
yeah. that was it. you know, i can do this. you should really go try on the dress for my mom.
whatever. margaret isn't accustomed to richard talking to her this way, but doesn't push it.
i'm a little busy.
go for another run.
i'm a little tired of you making demands and me just jumping.
ok, high maintenance. let's go.
you don't know where we're going. margaret opens up the throttle and they are off.
the north pole. congratulations, we made it. it's a glacier. tracy's arm. you better let me take it from here.
oh. ok. so like me, you've navigated a lot of glacier fields? and not died? margaret reluctantly moves aside and lets richard steer. richard lady, you've got issues.
it doesn't stop there.
oh, please.
you drove!
are you kidding me? richard pulls next to the glacier and turns off the engine.
i explained to you.
of course.
like you didn't know.
that we were going to lie to them.
well that makes you either stupid, or ignorant.
no, but what's behind door number two.
forgot what?
what what was like?
we need to head back.
what? margaret looks at richard with a scared and confused look.
but.
margaret!
watch your step, ok? it can be dangerous.
margaret? richard turns around and looks for margaret. he doesn't see her. he gets out of the boat and goes onto the glacier, walking in the direction he last saw margaret. richard margaret? i know i'm breaking "the rules" here, but where are you? he takes one more step before he hears.
i'm sorry. i'm sorry. just relax. i'll get you out of there. you've broken through an ice bridge. it happens all the time. no biggie.
don't do what?
it's not like that. really. we do need to be careful here though, i don't want us both to fall in. stay still, ok?
so, i'm going to walk up to you and very slowly pull you out. ok?
yeah, that's normal when you're surrounded by ice.
so i'm going to pull you up by your armpits. i'm probably going to touch boob. but don't freak out. margaret shakes her head yes. richard reaches down and slowly lifts her out of the ice. margaret doesn't say a word. richard when i get you all the way out, i need you to hold onto me. i'm going to carry you over there. margaret nods yes as she puts her arms around richard. he's strong, so it isn't difficult for him to slowly carry her "over the threshold" style, away from the hole in the ice. he speaks once they're safe.
yeah. well. you ok?
you woulda laughed at me.
gertrude wants me back. whoah. not what she was expecting. she looks down.
well. it seemed like you were having.  second thoughts.
maybe we should do it. come clean.
if you do.
where's mom, dad? we all need to talk.
what did you do? geoffrey doesn't answer. he's not proud of himself. richard what did you do, dad?!
you made a deal with him? on my behalf?
that's none of your business.
the hell it is. it is not fine!
you do not get to make this decision. this is my decision. the truth is.  i've been working for margaret for three years. six months ago we started dating. i recently asked her to marry me, and she said yes. see you both at
come on, we gotta get ready. margaret and richard storm out of the squash court.
what was i thinking? they act like they're nice, but really, they're evil.
are you defending him? are you defending the king dick?
oh, i've thought about it. and know what i think? i think you saved my life. thank you, margaret. getting married to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. without this, i might've ended up back here. up at the house, debbie opens the door.
coming mom! time to sack up. richard winks and goes inside. margaret follows, not sure.
you look gorgeous.
so, is this what you dreamed of when you were a little girl?
what are you doing? margaret gathers herself and turns around to the crowd. they stare back, unsure what to make of this foreigner.
don't do this. margaret smiles and squeezes richard's hand.
now wait.
so frank's back in? margaret nods distractedly. getting frank to do the publicity tour doesn't mean much right now.
maybe this'll be your mockingbird?
great exit back there.
same old, same old, around here.
i'll let her know.
don't start lying to me now. margaret stops for a moment.
but.  but what about you? what are you gonna do? margaret wants to keep the conversation short.
so what? this is it?
thanks. richard thanks her with a kiss on the cheek. then, realizing where and who he is with, he puts his beer down. he turns to gertrude again with a determined look, gives her a kiss on the lips, then follows it up with an even bigger kiss. when they finish, gertrude is grinning, eyes closed. richard looks worried. something is wrong.
waddya mean?
i'm sorry. i'm just a little.  confused.
you're amazing, gert. and i've thought about being with you for a long time. a long time. when you said those things at the school? i've dreamed about hearing you say those things.
i think i have to find out.
if she feels the same way. gertrude begins to tear up, but won't let herself cry.
i'm so sorry.
are you ok?
what? oh. well, i'm, uh, going to see margaret.
who you gonna report her to, mom?
i don't have the stockholm syndrome. and she didn't violate me.
i'm sorry i lied to you. that was an awful thing to do. but it took this weekend for me to see how funny, and screwed up and perfect margaret is for me. i think she's.  the one.
no, i didn't. not until she left.
i don't know. i've got to get to the airport to find out. debbie doesn't say anything, then breaks into a smile.
but i gotta hurry. her plane leaves any second. i might not make it.
i don't have time to explain this to you.
i don't care.
i don't care. i love you and want you to understand. but i'm not asking your permission here. i'm doing this.
i promise, grandma.
the best way?
hey chuck, it's richard.
need you to do me a solid, brother. i gotta see my girl and she's on that flight. could you stop it for me?
oh, c'mon chuck!
well. that's it. once she gets back to new york, it'll be like this never happened. richard looks defeated. geoffrey sees how sad his son is, and takes a deep breath.
you've made that crystal clear.
shit! she's never going to pick up.
excuse me miss flight attendant, could you ask the captain to do me one more favor.
uh, hey margaret. and cause i'm on the loudspeaker, hey everyone on the plane. the other passengers look around to try and figure out who's margaret. meanwhile, margaret looks down and acts like she doesn't know either. richard this certainly isn't how i wanted to do this. i mean, i'm not really into the whole baring your soul in front of strangers thing, but i figure it's now or never. so here goes.
i know you're used to being on your own. and that you're comfortable with your life the way it is. and that in a million years you wouldn't have thought that we should be together. i know, because i felt the exact same way.
and you know what else i know? i know that i'm tired of being alone. and i think you're tired of being alone too. so come on. talk to me. please. the handsome man turns to margaret.
we need to talk.
have you ever thought there might be a reason we've been together for the last three years?
things change, margaret.
yeah, things change.
now, tell me the truth. when you left, were you relieved or sad that we didn't have an excuse to be together anymore? geoffrey gives richard the thumbs up. that was a good one.
because i am sick that you left. and if you feel sick too, then why shouldn't we just be together? margaret goes to answer, but stops. richard is right. she wants to go back. even the passengers on the plane can see it. gilbertson panics.
but it did. margaret looks down. a little embarrassed.