what so you want to know?
yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a hundred percent legal. i mean you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin' away. you're only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
yeah, it breaks down like this: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. it's legal to carry it, which doesn't really matter 'cause – get a load of this – if the cops stop you, it's illegal for this to search you. searching you is a right that the cops in amsterdam don't have.
you'll dig it the most. but you know what the funniest thing about europe is?
it's the little differences. a lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.
well, in amsterdam, you can buy beer in a movie theatre. and i don't mean in a paper cup either. they give you a glass of beer, like in a bar. in paris, you can buy beer at macdonald's. also, you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in paris?
no, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a quarter pounder is.
royale with cheese.
big mac's a big mac, but they call it le big mac.
i dunno, i didn't go into a burger king. but you know what they put on french fries in holland instead of ketchup?
mayonnaise.
i seen 'em do it. and i don't mean a little bit on the side of the plate, they fuckin' drown 'em in it.
how many up there?
counting our guy?
so there could be five guys up there?
we should have fuckin' shotguns.
what's her name?
how did marsellus and her meet?
she ever do anything i woulda saw?
what's a pilot?
i don't watch tv.
yeah.
yeah maybe, fat right?
i think i know who you mean, what about him?
what'd he do, fuck her?
well what then?
a foot massage?
that's all?
what did marsellus do?
that's a damn shame.
still i hafta say, play with matches, ya get burned.
you don't be givin' marsellus wallace's new bride a foot massage.
antwan probably didn't expect marsellus to react like he did, but he had to expect a reaction.
it's laying hands on marsellus wallace's new wife in a familiar way. is it as bad as eatin' her out – no, but you're in the same fuckin' ballpark.
not the same thing, the same ballpark.
have you ever given a foot massage?
given a lot of 'em?
have you ever given a guy a foot massage?
how many?
would you give me a foot massage – i'm kinda tired.
seven-twenty-two in the morning.
i'm not sayin' he was right, but you're sayin' a foot massage don't mean nothing, and i'm sayin' it does. i've given a million ladies a million foot massages and they all meant somethin'. we act like they don't, but they do. that's what's so fuckin' cool about 'em. this sensual thing's goin' on that nobody's talkin about, but you know it and she knows it, fuckin' marsellus knew it, and antwan shoulda known fuckin' better. that's his fuckin' wife, man. he ain't gonna have a sense of humor about that shit.
what's her name again?
well, marsellus is leavin' for florida and when he's gone, he wants me to take care of mia.
not that! take her out. show her a good time. don't let her get lonely.
it ain't a date. it's like when you and your buddy's wife go to a movie or somethin'. it's just.  you know.  good company.
it's not a date.
no.
i ain't hungry.
royale with cheese.
got it.
we're happy.
where's the big man?
how 'bout a cup of just plain lo' american?
at marsellus' request.
not yet.
what's so funny?
look, i'm not a idiot. she's the big man's fuckin' wife. i'm gonna sit across a table, chew my food with my mouth closed, laugh at her jokes and that's all i'm gonna do.
i ain't your friend, palooka.
i think ya heard me just fine, punchy.
excuse me, sorry to interrupt. i'm curious, why would you get a stud in your tongue?
remember, i just got back from amsterdam.
that's a bold statement.
give me three hundred worth of the madman. if it's as good as you say, i'll be back for a thousand.
which one's trudi? the one with all the shit in her face?
i'm on my way somewhere. i got a dinner engagement. rain check?
you don't mind if i shoot up here?
mucho gracias.
you know what some fucker did to it the other day?
fuckin' keyed it.
tell me about it. i had the goddamn thing in storage three years. it's out five fuckin' days – five days, and some dickless piece of shit fucks with it.
i just wish i caught 'em doin' it, ya know? oh man, i'd give anything to catch 'em doin' it. it'a been worth his doin' it, if i coulda just caught 'em, you know what i mean?
hello?
hello.
hello.
okay.
what the fuck is this place?
come on, mia, let's go get a steak.
after you, kitty-cat.
i'll have the douglas sirk steak.
bloody as hell. and to drink, a vanilla coke.
did you just order a five-dollar shake?
a shake? milk and ice cream?
it costs five dollars?
you don't put bourbon in it or anything?
just checking.
it's like a wax museum with a pulse rate.
rollin' a smoke.
it's just tobacco.
you can have this one, cowgirl.
think nothing of it.
sure did. i heard you did a pilot.
what was it?
what?
what was your specialty?
do you remember any of the jokes?
tell me.
c'mon, don't be that way.
you told it in front of fifty million people and you can't tell it to me? i promise i won't laugh.
that's not what i meant and you know it.
i meant i wouldn't laugh at you.
what a gyp.
can i have a sip of that? i'd like to know what a five-dollar shake tastes like.
yeah, but maybe i do.
goddamn! that's a pretty fuckin' good milk shake.
i don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty fuckin' good.
what?
i don't know.
i don't think we're there yet. but don't feel bad, we just met each other.
i'll do that.
we're lucky we got it at all. buddy holly doesn't seem to be much of a waiter. we shoulda sat in marilyn monroe's section.
no there's not.
that's marilyn monroe.
 and that's mamie van doren. i don't see jayne mansfield, so it must be her night off.
i have moments.
actually, there's something i've wanted to ask you about, but you seem like a nice person, and i didn't want to offend you.
only if you promise not to get offended.
then let's just forget it.
is that a fact?
what do you think about what happened to antwan?
tony rocky horror.
that's one way to say it. another way is, he was thrown out. another was is, he was thrown out by marsellus. and even another way is, he was thrown out of a window by marsellus because of you.
no it's not, it's just what i heard.
they.
they certainly do.
no. they just said rocky horror gave you a foot massage.
no and, that's it.
yeah.
at the time i was told, it seemed reasonable.
no, it seemed excessive. but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. i heard marsellus is very protective of you.
but did it happen?
no, no, no no, no, no, no, no.
all right.
all right, you asked for it.
was than an uncomfortable silence?
i'm gonna take a piss.
one drink and leave. don't be rude, but drink your drink quickly, say goodbye, walk out the door, get in your car, and go down the road.
it's a moral test of yourself, whether or not you can maintain loyalty. because when people are loyal to each other, that's very meaningful.
so you're gonna go out there, drink your drink, say "goodnight, i've had a very lovely evening," go home, and jack off. and that's all you're gonna do.
jesus christ!
mia! mia! what the hell happened?
i'll be a son-of-a-bitch. mia! mia! what did you take? answer me honey, what did you take?
okay honey, we're getting you on your feet.
we're on our feet now, and now we're gonna talk out to the car. here we go, watch us walk.
lance, this is vincent, i'm in big fuckin' trouble man, i'm on my way to your place.
you still got an adrenaline shot?
i need it man, i got a chick she's fuckin' doing on me.
no choice.
yeah. she's dyin'.
negative.
sorry.
too late, i'm already here.
if you're through havin' your little hissy fit, this chick is dyin', get your needle and git it now!
this fucked up bitch is marsellus wallace's wife. now if she fuckin' croaks on me, i'm a grease spot. but before he turns me into a bar soap, i'm gonna be forced to tell 'im about how you coulda saved her life, but instead you let her die on your front lawn.
she's oding on us.
you two are a match made in heaven.
what do you need a medical book for?
you've had that thing for six years and you never used it?
well then get it.
i'm not fuckin' stoppin' you.
hurry up man! we're losin' her!
i dunno, some medical book.
– get your ass in here, fuck the book!
quit fuckin' around man and give her the shot!
does it have to be exact?
well, i don't know exactly where her heart is, i think it's here.
i need a big fat magic marker, got one?
i need a big fat magic marker, any felt pen'll do, but a magic marker would be great.
you're gonna give her the shot.
i've never does this before.
okay, what do i do?
i gotta stab her?
what happens after that?
this ain't a fuckin' joke man!
count to three.
mia!
what are your thoughts on how to handle this?
well i'm of the opinion that marsellus can live his whole live and never ever hear of this incident.
i seriously doubt that.
let's shake on it.
mum's the word.
if you'll excuse me, i gotta go home and have a heart attack.
sure, but i think i'm still a little too petrified to laugh.
i can't wait.
mia. how you doin'?
friend of yours?
why the fuck didn't you tell us about that guy in the bathroom? slip your mind? forget he was in there with a goddamn hand cannon?
yeah, we were lucky.
yeah, maybe.
yeah, i think so. that means god came down from heaven and stopped the bullets.
i think we should be going now.
chill the fuck out, jules, this shit happens.
do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops?
okay man, it was a miracle, can we leave now?
ever seen that show "cops?" i was watchin' it once and this cop was on it who was talkin' about this time he got into this gun fight with a guy in a hallway. he unloads on this guy and he doesn't hit anything. and these guys were in a hallway. it's a freak, but it happens.
what the fuck does that mean?
jesus christ!
goddammit, jules –
– you're fuckin' freakin' out!
while you're at it, be sure to tell 'im why.
i'll bet ya ten thousand dollars, he laughs his ass off.
marvin, what do you make of all this?
c'mon, marvin. do you think god came down from heaven and stopped the bullets?
i just accidentally shot marvin in the throat.
i didn't mean to do it. i said it was an accident.
– chill out, man, it was an accident, okay? you hit a bump or somethin' and the gun went off.
look! i didn't mean to shoot this son-ofa-bitch, the gun just went off, don't ask me how!
– i know, i know, i wasn't thinkin' about the splatter.
can't we just take it to a friendly place?
well, don't look at me, this is your town, jules.
who ya callin'?
where's toluca lake.
if he kicks us out, whadda we do?
just tell 'im not to be abusive. he kinda freaked out back there when he saw marvin.
if the price of that favor is i gotta take shit, he can stick his favor straight up his ass.
i was just dryin' my hands.
you watched me wash 'em.
i washed 'em. blood's real hard to get off. maybe if he had some lava, i coulda done a better job.
a "please" would be nice.
i said a "please" would be nice.
i don't mean any disrespect. i just don't like people barkin' orders at me.
did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, he's immediately forgiven for all wrong-doings?
i got a threshold, jules. i got a threshold for the abuse i'll take. and you're crossin' it. i'm a race car and you got me in the red. redline 7000, that's where you are. just know, it's fuckin' dangerous to be drivin' a race car when it's in the red. it could blow.
all the way?
are you sure this is absolutely necessary?
what?
i'm cool, mr. wolf. my gun just went off, i dunno how.
redondo beach.
you know i could go for some breakfast. want to have breakfast with me?
thanks a bunch. want a sausage?
are you jewish?
why not?
sausages taste good. pork chops taste good.
how about dogs? dogs eat their own feces.
yes, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he's cease to be a filthy animal?
good for you. lighten up a little. you been sittin' there all quiet.
about what?
the miracle you witnessed. i witnessed a freak occurrence.
an act of god.
i guess it's when god makes the impossible possible. and i'm sorry jules, but i don't think what happened this morning qualifies.
but why?
so you're serious, you're really gonna quit?
so if you're quitting the life, what'll you do?
what do you mean, walk the earth?
how long do you intend to walk the earth?
what if he never does?
so you decided to be a bum?
no jules, you're gonna be like those pieces of shit out there who beg for change. they walk around like a bunch of fuckin' zombies, they sleep in garbage bins, they eat what i throw away, and dogs piss on 'em. they got a word for 'em, they're called bums. and without a job, residence, or legal tender, that's what you're gonna be – a fuckin' bum!
– what happened was peculiar – no doubt about it – but it wasn't water into wine.
stop fuckin' talkin' like that!
i gotta take a shit. to be continued.
what the fuck's goin' on here?
what the hell's goin' on, jules?
check.
jules, if you give this nimrod fifteen hundred buck, i'm gonna shoot 'em on general principle.
i think we oughta leave now.