go find him honey!
shit, i hope we didn't wake it!
come on kids.
get away from mr. mcdunnough's car.
does the pope wear a funny hat?
say, that reminds me! how many pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
nope, it takes three!
wait a minute, i told it wrong. here, i'm startin' over: how come it takes three pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?
cause they're so durn stupid!
shit man, loosen up! don't ya get it?
shit man, think about it! i guess it's what they call a way homer.
cause you only get it on the way home.
say, that reminds me! how'd you get that kid s'darned fast? me'n dottie went in to adopt on account of something went wrong with m'semen, and they told us five years' wait for a healthy white baby! i said healthy white baby! five years! okay, what else you got? said, two koreans and one negro born with the heart outside.
yeah, it's a crazy world.
sure, i'd buy one.
that buford's a sly one. already knows his abcs. but i'm sayin', how'd ya get the kid?
well maybe she can do something for me'n dot. see there's something wrong with m'semen. say, that reminds me! what you gonna call him?
thought you said he was a boy.
yeah, it's a good one.  course i don't really need another kid, but dottie says these-here are gettin' too big to cuddle. say, that reminds me!
mind ya don't cutchaseff, mordecai.
hear about the person of the polish persuasion he walks into a bar holdin' a pile of shit in his hands, says "look what i almost stepped in."
ya damn right it's funny! shit man, what's the matter?
eeeeeyep.  i do know the feelin'.
and i told dottie to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen!
no man, i know what you mean. you got all kinds a responsibilities now. you're married, ya got a kid, looks like your whole life's set down and where's the excitement?
okay! that's the disease, but there is a cure.
sure; doctor glen is tellin' ya you can heal thyself.
well you just gotta broaden your mind a little bit. i mean say i asked you, what do you think about dot?
okay. now it might not look like it, but lemme tell you something: she's a hellcat.
don't rush me!
now the thing about dot is, she thinks- and she's told me this-
she thinks.  you're cute.
i'm crappin' you negative! and i could say the same about ed!
what'm i talkin' about?! i'm talkin' about sex, boy! what the hell're you talkin' about?! you know, "l'amour"?! i'm talkin' me'n dot are swingers! as in "to swing"! wife-swappin'! what they call nowadays open marriage!
i'm talkin' about the sex revolution! i'm talkin' about-
shit man!
i was only tryin' to help!
you're crazy! i feel pity for you, man! you-
i ain't comin' in if ya don't mind. i'll just keep my distance.
well don't even bother. first off, you're fired - and that's official.
well that ain't why i'm here neither. no sir. you're in a whole shitload of trouble, my friend.
why don't you make me?! know that little baby you got in there? remember him? i know what his real name is!
i'll pitch my voice wherever i please! his name ain't hi jr.! his name ain't ed jr.! but it's junior an right! yes sir, it's nathan jr.!
stay away from me, mcdunnough!
sure, you're an awful big man when you got somethin' around to clobber a guy with!
that's right! and now you're at my mercy!
i'm your worst nightmare! i wanted to just turn you in for the re-ward. but dot, she wants something to cuddle. so it looks like that baby's gonna be glen jr. from now on!
i'll give you a day to break the news to ed.
dot'll be by tomorrow to pick him up.
it's either that or jail. oh and say, that reminds me! you'll find a doctor bill in the mail in a few days. i recommend you pay it!