what kind of name is ed for a pretty thing like you? you're a flower, you are. just a little desert flower. lemme know how those come out. yessir, you bet. no ma'am, hope to say. what's the matter, ed? that sumbitch. you tell him i think he's a damn fool, ed. you tell him i said so - h.i. mcdunnough. and if he wants to discuss it he knows where to find me. in the maricopa county maximum security correctional facility for men. state farm road number thirty- one; tempe, arizona. i'll be waiting! you ate what? you ate sand?! i didn't want to hurt anyone, sir. i know that, sir. hear about the paddy-wagon collided with the segment mixer, ed? twelve hardened criminals escaped. got a new beau? don't worry, i paid for it. you missed a spot. no sir, it sure ain't. that's one bonehead name. but that ain't me anymore. no sir, no way. well then i guess i am tellin' you what you wanna hear. yessir. i'm walkin' in here on my knees, ed - a free man proposin'. howdy kurt. you bet i do. bill roberts? it's true i've had a checkered past, but ed here is an officer of the law twice decorated. so we figure it kind of evens out. shhhh! shh! nice baby. sorry honey, it just didn't work out. they started cryin', then they were all over me. it was kinda horrifying - lemme in, honey. i know that now! come on honey, we better leave - aw honey i - looking back, he holds a finger to his lips. i dunno. nathan jr., i think. here's the instructions. he's awful damn good. i think i got the best one. yeah. this one's awful damn good though. he's fine, he is. i think it's nathan jr. well now honey we been over this and over this. there's what's right and there's what's right, and never the twain shall meet. well a course she'll be upset, sugar, but she'll get over it. she's got four little babies almost as good as this one. it's like when i was robbin' convenience stores - i know you do, honey. okay, bring him in! this is it young nathan jr. just feast your eyes about, old boy! damn, i'm sorry honey. aw, he don't know a cuss word from shinola. he's all right, he is. come on over here, nathan jr., i'll show you around. lookahere, young sportsman. that - there's the kitchen area where ma and pa chow down. over there's the tv, two hours a day maximum, either educational or football so's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things. this - here's the divan, for sociahzin' and relaxin' with the family unit. yessir, many's the day we sat there and said wouldn't it be nice to have a youngster here to share our thoughts and feelin's - well we'll just sit you right there, boy. just put those dogs up'n take a load off. what are you kiddin'?! we got a family here! he's a scandal, honey! he's a little outlaw! he ain't too good! you can tell by that twinkle in his eye! hang on, honey. let's us preserve the moment in pictures! how come is that, honey? honey, could ya slide over a tad and raise the nipper up? you're doin' real good, sugar. we're set to pop here, honey. how's that, honey? you can count on it, honey. uh-huh. get in the bedroom. well i'd like to see 'em fly. honey, like you to meet gale and evelle snopes, fine a pair as ever broke and entered. boys, this - here's my wife. well yeah honey, but these boys tell me they just got outta the joint. gotta show a little hospitality. well so far we just been using junior. tulsa. he was, uh. he was visiting his grandparents. well we thought junior should see their final resting place - whyn't you boys have a seat? now honey - yeah, they're just gonna stay a day or two. it's raining out honey, they got nowhere to go. well now honey you gotta have a little charity. ya know, in arab lands they'd set out a plate - tonight and tomorrow, tops. he all right? yeah, well. sometimes it's a hard world for little things. boys. oh yeah. say boys, you wouldn't mind makin' yourself scarce for a couple hours this afternoon? heh-heh. what ed means to say is, seein' as you two boys are wanted, it wouldn't exactly do to have folks seein' you here - i mean for your own protection. matter of fact honey, maybe i'll skip this little get-together myself, glen won't mind, and i'll just duck out with the boys, knock back a couple of-uh, co-colas- well. maybe that ain't such a hot idea either. glen, dot- need a beer, glen? well yeah, glen, i guess it is kinda funny. i don't know glen, one? i don't know, glen. no glen, i sure don't. why's that? i'm already home, glen. someone oughta sell tickets. well this whole thing is just who knows who and favoritism. ed has a friend at one of the agencies. uh, ed-ed jr. well, as in edward. just like that name. uh-huh. yes ma'am. yeah, that's funny all right. i dunno. maybe it's wife, kids, family life. i mean are you, uh, satisfied glen? don't y'ever feel suffocated? like, like there's somethin' big pressin' down. dunno- yeah glen, i guess that's it. yeah? what do i gotta do? fine woman you got there. that right? but what's that got to do with- yeah? what're you talkin' about, glen? keep your goddamned hands off my wife! keep your goddamned hands off my wife! his kids seemed to think it was funny. he was provokin' me when i popped him. never mind. i expect he will. with a man for a husband. honey, that's the only answer. nathan needs some huggies. i'll be out directly. mind you stay strapped in. i'll be taking these huggies and whatever cash you got. better hurry it up. i'm in dutch with the wife. honey! just drive fast. and don't stop till i tell ya. honey! mind the baby now! maybe you better. thank you. thank you honey, you really didn't have to do this- turn left, honey. nawww honey, it ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded- now honey, i never postured myself as the three-piece suit type - turn left, dear. well nathan jr. accepts me for what i am and i think you better had, too. you know, honey, i'm okay you're okay? that - there's what it is. see i come from a long line of frontiersmen and - here it is, turn here dear - frontiersmen and outdoor types. well. it ain't ozzie and harriet. i'm awful sorry boys, but when ed gets mad, you know, when she gets an idea. well now ed's generally a real sweetheart, i- well, matter of fact, i did lose my job today- aw boys, i don't- well now that ain't really any of your- boys, i can't - boys, it's a kind offer, but you're suggesting i just up'n leave ed. now that'd be pretty damn cowardly, wouldn't it. where's the baby? no. you two stay outta sight. shit. morning glen. i didn't invite you in, glen. i kinda figured that, glen. why don't you just calm down, glen. wanna keep your voice down, glen? i ain't a big man. what's goin' on here. i know you're worried honey but believe me, there ain't a thing to worry about. we're gonna get him back, there just ain't no question about that. we'll get him back, that's just all there is to it. and you wanna know another thing? i'm gonna be a better person from here on out. and that's final, i mean that's absolutely the way it's gonna be, that's official. you were right and i was wrong. a blind man could tell you that. now they ain't gonna hurt him, they're just in it for the score. but i ain't like that no more, i'm a changed man. you were right and i was wrong. we got a family here and i'm gonna start acting responsibly. so let's go honey. let's go get nathan jr. ed, i realize i can't be much of a comfort to you. but lemme just say this. you'll feel a whole lot better when- honey- i know that- well, factually, i myself bear a very large- now waitaminute honey, you resigned before we- y'ain't that bad, honey. d'you see him too? he rolls. as the bike is roaring by: dragged several yards before the boot shakes him off, leaving him on his stomach in the middle of the road. as the knife stings the gun out of his hand. run along now, honey. struggling to stand up. landing in the dust, all the fight beaten out of him. the end of the road. reacting. scrambling to his feet. starting to run. diving behind the parked car. scuse me? no sir, that's who we saved him from. it's a long story. well, sir, in a re-ward situation, they usually say no questions asked. well- tell you the truth, i think we'd prefer the ca- i took him, sir, my wife had nothin' to do with it. i crept in yon window and- it wasn't for money or nothin'. we just figured you had more'n you could handle, babywise. but i'm the one committed the actual crime sir, if you need to call the authorities- thank you sir. sir, those're kind words. but i think the wife and me are splittin' up. her point of view is we're both kinda selfish and unrealistic, so we ain't too good for each other.