well, well, well. so miss rosebud has arrived. un-hmm. and you're all assembled here. yes, indeed. un hmmm.
well, rosebud, now you are here, darling, and i swear to god graceful as the capital letter s. you will adorn our house, rosebud, you will give a glow and a shine to these old walls. if there's one thing i like to have around, it's a frizzy-haired blonde. now i assume mrs. hillyer and the children have introduced themselves and made your acquaintance, and so forth and so on?
all right. now as head of this household i have a couple of remarks to make. it is my dear wife's belief, which i accept although i do not totally grasp it, that to hire a person to do household work is a criminal practice. therefore, you are here not as a servant, you are here as a friend, as a guest and hopefully as a member of this family. you will eat your meals with us, you will share life itself with us -- in love and harmony, dear rosebud, in love and harmony. do you understand me?
now, i know you've had some troubles in your life, those.  scoundrels in birmingham and so forth trying to.  lead you astray. i hope you find a safe haven here, honey, i know you've had a hard time. life can be cruel to a young girl all alone. we welcome you to our home, rosebud, we all welcome you from the heart and hope you are happy here.
good morning, sweetheart. beautiful day.
how goes it, darlin'?
what do you think of her, honey?
turn up your hearing aid.
your hearing aid, it's buzzing at me like a snake.
i asked you what you think of rosebud, now that she's been here a while.
um-hmm. almost too perfect.
well, i'll admit i don't see any flies on her yet.
well, she must have done something to encourage those scoundrels in birmingham, even if she did run away from them.
well, let's hope for the best, darlin'.
i love rosebud, i am wild about rosebud. i just hope she doesn't turn out to be a hidden hotcha character, that's all. we have growing children in the house.
all right, darlin', don't go off into the fourth dimension.
forgive my crudity, darlin'. i don't understand these deeper things the way you do.
you're a wonderful woman, darlin'. as long as you're around, i'm sure the sun wouldn't dare go out.
rosebaby blossom, these are the most delicious candied yams i ever ate! why, they just melt in my mouth. and this fried chicken is fit for a king. how do you do it, peachbird? what is the secret of your art, plum blossom, huh?
rosebird baby, you are the light of my life, darlin'. how did we ever get by without you?
i'll drive you, darlin'. you've got no business behind the wheel of an automobile. you don't think about what you're doing and you'll run into a telephone pole.
all right, darlin'.
hmmp. did you realize there are a thousand coca-cola millionaires in atlanta?
ehh, lord, should have bought that stock when we had some money. a thousand millionaires.
ahh-hem! now, rose, get off my lap. what are you doing, girl? are you crazy?
why, i'm not going to kiss you, you crazy girl. now i'm telling you again, get off my lap. come on, rose, get up. now you get up, i say, and stop this!
all right, all right. now calm down, rose, the children will hear you. calm down, let's talk.  about this thing, let's discuss it.
calm down, rose, let's calm down and discuss it .
all right, that is enough of this nonsense, and i mean enough! get up off this floor, rose, and put your damned tit back in your dress! do you hear me, girl, get up off of that floor!
goddamn you, girl! you've made me make a fool out of myself, damn your hide, but let me tell you i am standing at the pass of thermopylae and i won't budge! the very idea, my own home with children in the house, to say nothing of my wife -- oh-h, you had better believe i am standing at thermopylae, you little nut, you had better believe it! what are you, crazy? a man is supposed to be a fool like this, but a woman is supposed to have some control and sense! are you a nitwit? what's the matter with you?
rose, rose, rose, you poor miserable little child, don't you know i love you? do i have to put my hand on your body or kiss your pretty lips to prove it? you are beautiful to me, rose, i've loved you since you first came here, darlin'. and don't you know mrs. hillyer loves you, too, that she's already taken you into her heart, and that that woman's heart is as wide as the blue sky itself and as deep as the stars?
do you know what a friend you have got there? do you know she would fight for you like a tiger, that she would fly to your defense in an instant with all the courage in her soul if anyone tried to hurt you? is this any way to repay her trust and love? are you ashamed as i am ashamed? don't cry, honey, don't cry. but let me warn you, damn your hide, this is thermopylae and i am standing here. do you hear me, damn you. i am standing at thermopylae and the persians shall not pass! now get your tail out of here and go wash those dishes, and stop crying!
no, darlin'. just that damnable insomnia in reverse. i sleep like a baby for an hour then i'm wide awake. you go back to sleep.
the depression has got me. that miserable hotel, no money anywhere, strong men out of work, children hungry. it's a great life if you don't weaken.
ehh-hh, lord, man born of woman hath few days and they are full of trouble.
rose, what are you doing up?
is anything wrong?
well, good night.
out! out, you viper in the grass! out! never darken our doorstep, you immoral, terrible girl!
ehh-hh, lord.  great life if you don't weaken.
ye gods and little fishes. what have you done to yourself, rose?
got yourself up?
um-hmm. well, that is the damndest outfit i ever saw in my life. you walk down the street like that and they'll put you in jail, rose.
if you've got time before you go "out," get me a half-a-cup of coffee, rose. not a whole cup, a half-a-cup.
um-hmmuhh. i never drink a whole cup, my nerves can't stand the caffeine. ehh-hh, lord awful insomnia in reverse last night. lay there and sweated blood for hours.
lay off of that stuff, son. it upsets your mother.
i'll take him with me downtown. and you, too, rose, if you want a ride.
that's a pretty stylish skirt, rose. the only thing i don't understand is how did you ever get it on.
how can the buttons stand the pressure?
turn around, darlin'.
they'll put her in jail. the damn little fool might as well be naked.
who doesn't have such thoughts? we'd better get going.
just half-a-cup of coffee. i never eat, darlin', you know that. not eating and reverse insomnia are my curses. let's go, rose, you and brother, let's hit the road.
the girl worries me. if she walks down the street like that, an army will be following her.
she will succeed.
that farmer in gadsden was awful eager to get rid of her, and i'm beginning to see why.
well, she loves children, all right. she loves everybody.
you are the one who's good-hearted. as for rose, let's hope for the best.
yes, of course.
what have you got in your hair, girl?
you were up late last night, brother.
reading dirty comic bocks. and you admitted it?
you were up late last night, too, rose.
sometimes i think i was born to be a detective. i get a feeling about things. i'm not always right, but often i am.
son, was rose in your room last night?
i can't imagine why. it was just a thought.
where do you want me to let you out, rose?
you don't know where you're going?
is this ill right?
they might arrest her. i doubt it, but they might.
she has made contact.
i never saw anything like it. how did she pick him up so fast?
the girl strikes like a cobra.
well, she's back.
quarter of twelve.
i don't see any bruises or broken bones.
no reason at all, darlin'.
forgive my crudity, darlin'. all i'm saying is that a girl who would wear clothes like that is going to get in trouble sooner or later.
yes, darlin', time will tell.
glad to have you with us, mr. watson. make yourself at home. shadrach, take mr. watson's bag.
luckily, johnson just walked in to relieve me. i'll be right out there!
come back here, sir! come back here, you!
i couldn't catch him. he ran like a deer.
rose, my patience is wearing thin. first a scruffy man who runs like a deer and now a sulky boy who wont go away. this is getting to be a regular monkey and dog show.
rose, i realize you don't know this boy, but if you know anybody who does know him, if you have even a faint clue as to who he might be, then convey to him that he had better stay away from my house and stop scaring my wife.  and i don't mean maybe.
all right, i have got a parker shotgun here and it is loaded and the trigger is cocked and wherever you birds are and whatever you are doing you had better get the hell out of here goddamned quick!
and do not come back, you sons of bitches! stay away from my house and home and my wife and children or i'll blow your goddamned heads off!
you children go to bed. and brother, stay away from rose, i'll speak to her in the morning.
well, rose, my sleep was a little disturbed last night, and so was mrs. hillyer's, and so was the children's. how about you? was your sleep disturbed, too?
strange voices, rose?
now rose, stop behaving as if you're bo peep. those men had a flight last night because of some female in this house, and it wasn't dolly or mrs. hillyer.
oh, shut up, rose. shut your mouth and quit crying!
i am not being brutal to her!
darlin', it is not my fault if the girl has epizootics --
-- i am not responsible for her epizootics and i did not bring about her epizootics. now listen to me. when i have to get up in the middle of the night and defend my home with a shotgun against a couple of damned scoundrels fistfighting in the bushes --
boys? you say to me boys?
now darlin', what has the south got to do with this?
i don't intend to mock you, dear. i respect your philosophy. it's beyond my comprehension, but i respect it.
oh, shut up, rose, eat your cornflakes!
now you listen to me, rose --
i don't intend to fire her, darlin'.
i said i don't intend to fire her. i just want to ask her to keep her boy friends away from my home and hearth, that's all.
darlin', i'll take a taxi to the hotel. you and brother can handle the girl's epizootics. i'll just say one more thing. rose, i told you you had a friend in mrs. hillyer, didn't i, that she would fight for you like a tiger?
all right, thanks to her, and thanks to this case of epizootics, you are getting another chance. but don't try my patience again. we have growing children in this house. do you understand me?
good morning, rose. and how do you feel today?
well, i know it, i just got the bill for it.
umm. well. yes. but no more strange voices in the night, rose.
i see my mother-in-law's face, son. read 'em and weep, boy, i am playing a spectacular combination, a triple. the nine ball in the corner! read 'em and weep, boy, that's all she wrote.
the chief of police?
rose is in jail. she bit a policeman's thumb. come on, son, shadrach can run the hotel.
yes, i know the son of a bitch.
well, rose, what have you got to say for yourself?
that's all you've got to say, you've got a bad cold?
no, not really. but i guess we'll have to do that, john. let her out. let the crazy creature out and i'll take her home.
i have to go back to the hotel. i'm on duty at the desk and who knows a quest might arrive. i will see you at suppertime, rose.
i will see you at suppertime, rose.
i'm sorry, darlin', i hate it as much as you do.
it's because of the children she's got to go. i don't want to be holier-than-thou, but the girl doesn't have the same outlook we do. morals don't mean a thing to her, not a thing, and we can't have a girl like that in this house.
that is exactly what i'm afraid of. the girl has got to go, darlin'.
now look, darlin', this is no time to go off into the fourth dimension.
just a moment, darlin'.
could of sworn that boy was out here.
well, i have a pretty good idea.
they follow her because she's a -- -- no, i won't say that.
darlin', rose has got to go!
excuse me, sir, are you calling my wife a liar?
ha ha ha ha.
that's all i want to know. lets get out of here before i get the epizootics myself. thank you, doctor, for your discourse, it was fascinating, no doubt.
no, i mean epizootics.
i can't stand that polecat. they ought to hang him.
he's a polecat, dear.
rosebud looked pretty pitiful in that bed. i hope she'll be all right, but i still think we ought to fire her.
is that doctor still up there, brother.
what's taking the rascal so long?
i don't care where the polecat studied.
everything all right, doctor?
what do you think, brother?
he's not coming back again. we scared the rascal off, son. come on back to supper. your mother has a theory about how to educate rose.
um-hmm. come with me, brother. i want to show you something.
see that, son? now this is a heel, see, and there, that's the ball of a foot. someone has been walking here.
that is because it rained recently, the rain has obscured the evidence. but you could still take plaster casts of these footprints, then match up the plaster casts with whosever shoes they are, and that way you could catch him -- understand?
well. well, what i mean is, you could prove it was his shoes if you did catch him. but look this, brother, it is even more interesting. look at this mark here, and that mark over there. now wouldn't you say those marks are the marks of a ladder?
true, but if you look sharply you can see that those marks are the marks of a ladder. now let's go back to the garage and see if the ladder has been tampered with.
see, son? the paint is flaked off here, freshly. look at it, brother, there is no question about it. some person or persons unknown have very recently tampered with this ladder.
and there's only one reason anybody would want this ladder -- to get up into rose's bedroom in the dark of night! i am going to chain up this ladder and padlock it! -- and that is not all i am going to do!
that was a delicious repast, rose, as usual. now i have something of grave import to say to you and to mrs. hillyer. and i don't want you children snooping, do you hear me, brother? go up to your rooms.
we all love you, rose. even more now, since you've bravely surmounted all these epizootics. we admire you, we esteem you, we hold your hand with love and affection, we have an investment in you -- and i don't mean money, although god knows we have that, too, considering those godawful hospital bills.
i mean a human investment, rose, we care about you, you matter to us. but we have innocent and unformed children in this house and the monkey and dog show has got to stop. do you hear me?
just a moment, dear. we can't have it, rose. can you behave yourself -- or not? that is the question, to behave or not to behave, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous chastity and keep your skirt down or to hoist it in the light of the moon and make whoopee -- that is the coil shuffling question. if you can't behave i am going to fire you and i say it in front of you and mrs. hillyer and i mean it. i point my rigid finger right at your nose, rose, and i stare unwaveringly into your big blue eyes and i tell you.  this is a final warning. do you hear me?
open that door! open it up, open it this instant! do you hear met open that door!
rose! rose! open this goddamn door! open it or i'll break it down!
open that door, damn you!
she's got somebody in there, brother! his shoes are on the back porch -- there they were, naked and smiling at me! rose, open this door immediately!
open up, rose! procrastination won't help you!
all right, where is he? where's the culprit?
where is he? i know he's in here, where is he, rose? his shoes were on the back porch i smiling at met where are you, you son of a bitch?
where is he? where have you got him hid? ah, ha!
and who, rose, may i ask, is that?
and what, may i ask, was billy doing here?
well, it was a silly question.
ye gods and little fishes, a fireman. put on some clothes, rose, you're naked as a jay bird. when you're dressed, come on downstairs. i'm afraid your friend billy is injured, where are his clothes?
i won't hurt him, honey.
rose, darlin', you break my heart. but i am only a human man myself of the father variety. rose, pack your bag, baby, as of this moment you are hired, mired and fired.
well, rose, going out to look for a job today?
mmm. would you get me another half a-cup of coffee, dear?
it has been three weeks since i "fired" her. is there no way to get rid of this girl? are we stuck with her for life?
the hell we can't.
god forbid. you're not sick, rose, forget it. don't get any notions in your head, you're not sick.
no, she doesn't, she's fine, fine. she's perfectly healthy, don't give her ideas.
her plan is obvious, plain as day. she's going on a hunger strike. the question is, how do we foil her?
something has got to be done or rose is going to be in this house forever.
well, i have got news! i called long distance and spoke to cousin hop and you'll be glad to know, rose, i have found you a job!
yes, tennessee, a lovely state!
ahh-hh, you'll like it. it's a fine, outdoor-type job.
no, no, not exactly. it isn't a farm in the sense that it's a farm. not at all. it's a.  dairy establishment. you'll 1ike it! i'm sure you'll like it because it's so.  peaceful!
just a minute, rose, you don't understand. this isn't a dirt farm like the one you were born on, it's nice. a neighbor of cousin hop's, i talked to him on the phone, a fine man.  it's not a farm, damn it, it's a beautiful dairy establishment! stop crying, rose! do you hear me? stop crying, it's ideal!
i don't give a hoot in hell's hollow what it means to her! she can't stay in this house forever! i fired her, damn it!
trickery and flummery or not, she's going there tomorrow on the bus! it's settled! and i must say we've been more than fair to you, rose, it's pretty selfish and mean hearted of you to sit there and cry like that!
what?
what did you say, rose?
what baby? what baby? what baby are you speaking about?
your baby?
good god almighty. this is a catastrophe, they won't hire her.
this is a total catastrastroke. as of this moment i am stumped, i admit, i am stumped and treed both, the hound dogs have me surrounded.
you're not going to get anywhere with that line of questioning. the problem is, what are we going to do?
she already told you, she doesn't know.
ah, ha! hold the phone! no forwarding address, huh? in the shock of this brilliant move, i forgot something.
i forgot that rose will lie like a child. she's no more pregnant than i am, she just doesn't want to go to that farm!
no, you're not.
all right, tell us, rose, what makes you think you're pregnant?
i don't believe it.
all right, damn it. we've seen you with your clothes off around here, stand up and pull up your dress and let's take a look!
she doesn't have to take her panties off, we can see her stomach with 'em on. all she has to do is pull up her dress and let us see her belly.
now, you will see, she's lying like she always does -- that belly will be flat as a pancake!
i am poleaxed and in a non compos mentis condition. i wash my hands or the whole thing.
well, it's a disaster. i don't know what to say, doctor, i am floored. how dangerous is the operation?
well, if it isn't malignant and she can get through the operation all right, it might be better than her really being pregnant. she doesn't even know who the father might have been.
honey, that's no way to talk to the doctor, he's merely doing his job, dear.
go ahead, doctor, i think i am following you.
go on, doctor.
i am ahead of you.
please do.
of course.
yes, we know her.
reluctantly, i do. it would be a blessing to her and everyone else. the girl is oversexed and i say -- spay her!
well, now, darlin'.  give me a chance to defend myself.
well, i.  i hadn't thought about it that much. i was thinking.  well, it's an idea, the girl is oversexed, and.
well, i know, more so. that's why i was thinking.  maybe she'd be better off.
well, now, i admit.  in rose's case, it would be cruel. if rose wasn't attractive and pretty.  well, it would probably be bad for almost any young woman. i don't know exactly what i was thinking about, the doctor said it and it sounded reasonable.
but you're right, darlin', you're absolutely dead right, it would be an awful and horrible thing to do. i'm sorry, honey, forgive me, i didn't mean it.
well, i thought i'd seen the limit, but these are the most great, gaga epizootics she's ever had.
fine.
you're looking very chipper this morning, rose. sow do you feel?
well, we know you were there. the bill that hospital sent was absolutely horrendous.
rose.  i hate to be mean, but.  oh, nevermind, forget it.
nothing, rose.
we all love you, darlin'.
it's twenty after one.
i'm afraid it's my fault. i made her feel guilty this morning -- brother, what are you doing up?
no, she hasn't. i think i hear a car.
why, that looks like dave wilkie,
you know dave, his wife used to do dressmaking for you before she died.
good luck, dave. and good luck to you, too, rosebud.
well, thank god we are rid of her at last. and the best thing of all is that she's happy. the little nut is happy, she found mr. right in the nick of time!
honey, he is mr. right.
well, you rascal, where'd you come from?
about as good as can be expected with one foot in the grave. good to see you, son. did you bring any of that yankee whisky with you?
it's yankee whisky to me.
how do you stand it up there, boy, in all that ice and snow? what are you, a polar bear?
your wife and children are back in new hampshire in the snow?
are they polar bears, too?
got another twenty years in it, boy. by the way, son, do you recall rose, that pretty blonde girl who came to our house way back in 1935 or 1936 and caused such a damnable commotion.
how could that be, son?
well, yes, in a manner of speaking. you'll have the back bedroom, son, mother's old art room. just be careful going down the stairs you don't break your yankee neck.
oh, i heard from her, i got a letter from her, she's fine. but there is some sad news.
oh, no, no, she got all over that. rose is fine. let's sit down, son.
no, it's another thing. i was going to write you about it, but since you were coming down anyway i thought i'd wait till you got here. what did dave wilkie have to say?
um-hmm, and i suppose that incensed you?
yeah, i know, he was up here. it's pitiful like you say. when he lost rose it ruined the man, it destroyed him totally when he lost rose.
yes, i guess he did. he threw her away and it was the mistake of his life.
at rest in the creative universe with mother, son.
a wonderful woman, boy.
not for long, boy. i've outstayed my welcome already.
i'm older than hell, boy. but this yankee whisky is mighty fine, i'll say that.
no, son, she is dead.
i am afraid so, son. about a week ago. her husband phoned me, she had asked him to call me if anything happened.
she was fifty-six, son. of course she didn't look it, nowhere near it. the cancer came back, i'm afraid i fibbed about that. but it was very quick, son. she was in the hospital only two weeks, and the last week she didn't know anything.
i know. you loved her. so did i. it was an awful shock to me, too. an awful shock. rose was so alive it's hard to believe.
it's true, son. the girl with the cornflower eyes is dead, she is no more,
she got cancer of the breast, was operated on and had a seven-year recovery, then after a brief illness passed on in her sleep, as the man with whom she'd lived in beautiful love and harmony for twenty-five years held her hand. that is what happened, son, and god rest her lovely soul!
and now, if you are through with that yankee whisky, we'll go to the holiday inn and get some dinner.
nobody lives forever, boy. who'd want to?
now look, boy, get a grip on yourself. rose had a good life. she found her. right, didn't she? she triumphed over everything, what are you blubbering about?
rose isn't dead, son. not really. some of us die, but some of us don't. rose lives. as long as some little girl somewhere gets herself up and goes out, rose lives.