"what is unusual about miss carpenter is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them. she has already disemboweled six in a row by leaving them at the altar.".  i can't ready anymore.
no, you tell her.
no.
yeah.
so -- mag -- you've seen this, huh?
uh, maggie, you told us to bachelorette jokes, so we didn't.
you're a goddess!
stop it. when you talk like that, i get turned on and it frightens me.
are you a reporter?
it's been our experience that anyone with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being another big city reporter wanting to interview maggie.
no, about her getting that asshole from new york fired.
peggy phleming. not the ice skater.
and you are?
yep. maggie -- someone to see you.
yup!
hold on -- nobody interviews maggie in here unless they're getting haircut.
great.
let's just put this back here for the aromatherapy.
hey, pete, i'll be right with you.
no, she's talking about your hair.
for what reason? some personal satisfaction?
it's probably because you got him fired.
not that he doesn't deserve to get fired.  look! cory's going for second!.  sneaky!
where?
he looks better with that stuff out of his hair. he's an attractive man.
okay, that's fine. i can do that.
that's maggie's seat.
have you listened to his morning show, "wake up with ballplayer"?
this game is pretty important to him. he made all-stars in high school, you know.
he was going with maggie back then. he was never one of her.  i mean, they were never going to get.  they just dated for a while.
oh, sure. that was a long time ago. see, she's not a man-hater at all. she's very supportive of men.
good morning to you, too. you look good.
yes.
i know. i think sometimes you just sort of spaz-out with random excess flirtation energy and it just lands on anything male that moves.
like certain kinds of coral.
why?
no, i don't think you're like, "i'm charming and mysterious in a way that even i don't understand and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you". very hard to compete with. especially to us married women who have lost our mystery.
no. i'm weird. weird and mysterious are two different things.
no. you're quirky. quirky and weird are two different things.
i'm not worried about you and cory or cory and me or even that you're irreversibly screwed up. but, maggie, you've been like this since we were kids. and i think now that you are aware of it and that it hurts people's feelings, maybe it's time to move on with your life and commit to someone of your own, like bob, if he's the one.
something that brings warmth to my heart. duckbill platypus.
you're right. it's not funny now. maybe we both grew up.
lighten up, wahine.
this party is for you and bob. get your mind off the reporter.
would it?
maggie. maggie. here. she may need this. it's not really hawaii.
oh, she just went to get me something from the car.
bob is making her visualize the ceremony.
he's going to be the pastor?
what happened at the luau?
it's for the bell.
don't be nervous, maggie. let us visualize. remember what bob said? "be the ball."
"make the shot."
"never say die."
well, maggie -- in the words of mrs. pressman: "holy moly". call me later.
his hair.  any color.
see, this is a mature relationship. she's really found it.
no, no. i saw eight geese flying in a "v".
not eight.
yes, rubbing your ears is very soothing. cory does that to me when i hyperventilate.
he's here! he's here!
now's the time for calm.  if you don't calm down, you won't get your dress on.  he's the one.  he's the one.
let's go.
you okay? i'm closing.
want to go to butch's for a drink or something?
okay.
wedding. wedding. you just have to get the rest of your ducks in a row.
quick. very quick.