do you believe this shit?
oh god! you don't know? casey becker and steve forrest were killed last night.
and not just killed, sid. we're talking splatter movie killed-split open end to end.
not anymore. her parents found her hanging from a tree. her insides on the outside.
fucking clueless-they're interrogating the entire school. teachers, students, staff, janitors.
they don't know. dewey said this is the worst crime they've ever seen. even worse than.  well it's bad. they're bringing in the feds. this is big.
hunt? why would they ask if you like to hunt?
they didn't ask me if i like to hunt.
that is so sexist. the killer could easily be female-basic instinct.
or a man's mentality.
i thought you dumped her for me.
stu was with me last night.
fuck you, nut case. where were you last night?
i thought blockbuster fired you.
randy, you goon-fuck, i'm eating here.
no prob. i'll pick you up after practice.
yeah, yeah. are you okay?
i'll be there by seven. i promise
later.
practice ran late. i'm on my way.
don't worry. casey and steve didn't bite it til way after ten.
good, 'cause i wanna swing by blockbuster and get us a video. i was thinkin' tom cruise in all the right moves. you know, if you pause it just right you can see his penis.
bye.
what happened? oh god.
oh, god, sid, i'm sorry i was late.
her dad's out of town. she's staying with us.
yes, you doofus.
i don't know.
i'm not talking to you.
hey. dewey. can we go now?
goddammit, dewey!
i'm sorry, deputy dewey-boy but we're ready to go.
she's not answering any questions. just leave us alone, okay?
god, i loved it. "i'll send you a copy." bam! bitch went down. "i'll send you a copy." bam! sid--superbitch!
yeah, yeah, yeah.
just like old times, ain't it?
do you really think billy did it?
i knew this guy was too perfect. he was destined to have a flaw.
who is it?
take a message.
hang up, sid.
your objection is duly noted.
come on, sid.
nice welt.
yo--let's rock.
just relax. you're at school now. no one can get you here.
serial killers are smart by definition. they minimize their risk. they plan and pre-calculate everything. showing up here would be the most lame-brain move he could make.
i wouldn't put too much stock in a psycho's promise.
i want you to meet me here right after class, okay?
shit, what is he doing here?
just ignore him. you had good reason to think what you did.
you know if i were accused of carving up two people, i'd take the opportunity to skip school.
stay away from her, billy.
it was just some sick fuck having a laugh.
you are not to be alone again. is that clear? if you pee--i pee.
for once, stu, drop it.
this could be good. what do you think, sid?
come on. pathos has it's perks.
maybe cotton weary is telling the truth. maybe he was having an affair with your mom.
i didn't say that, sid. but you know there were rumors. your dad was always out of town on business. maybe your mom was a very unhappy woman.
you can't prove a rumor. that's why it's a rumor.
it goes further back, sid. there's been talk about other men.
well. you can only hear that richard gere-gerbil story so many times before you have to start believing it.
don't go there, sid. you're starting to sound like some wes carpenter flick. don't freak yourself out--we've got a long night ahead of us.
come on, let's rock.
don't be so self-righteous. it's just a little blow out--we'll be perfectly safe.
hey, sid. just think if they make a movie about you. who's gonna play you?
he better not be. i told stu to keep his mouth shut. i think we can live without everybody's all american for one night.
two minutes tops.
you have a few intimacy issues as a result of your mother's untimely death. it's no big deal. you'll thaw out.
billy and his penis don't deserve you.
with stu, there's little time to stop and reflect. but sometimes before, to relax and get in the mood, i think about grant goodeve.
grant goodeve--the oldest brother on eight is enough. remember that show? he was the one who lived off alone. he would come around every now and then with his guitar and sing "eight is enough to fill our lives with love" he had all these brain dead sisters and that idiot brother from charles in charge. god, i was in love with grant, he was so hot. the show came on every day after school right during my puberty years. grant goodeve was very instrumental in my maturing as a woman.
during foreplay, i sing the theme song to myself. "eight is enough to fill our lives with love" it's a real turn on.
grant wrote the song himself. i'm convinced the lyrics had a secret meaning, "eight is enough"
watch the show, sid. his basket is bigger than the one you're pushing.
oh, sidney. what? a guy can talk tits til he's dead but the minute you mention an eight inch weenie. watch out.
there's that sense of humor. i knew it still existed. ohh, sid, let's have some fun tonight.
no, dewey. you'll ruin the whole night.
shit.
caterer's here.
that's mature.
tits--see.
what am i? the beer wench?
shit, dewey!
what is she doing here?
so you did--now leave. and take your media muff with you.
shit!
hey, shitheads!
oh, shit piss!
what the.
is that you, randy? cute.
and what movie is this from? i spit on
lose the mask. if sidney sees it, she'll flip.
oh, you wanna play psycho killer?
can i be the helpless victim?
okay, let's see. "no, please don't kill me, mr. ghostface. i want to be in the sequel."
cut, casper. that's a wrap.
randy--will you stop?
you little shit.
who are you?