i'll take two. schnack hands them over. monix might speak, but he drinks instead.
really?
just tell me.
you still owe me $400.
you're out of toilet paper. monix doesn't receive a warm welcome. it's more of a stare- off.
so. who wants to be my locker buddy?
i don't know, but it can't be good.
look at this piece. it says celtics right there in diamonds.
i don't know, i just like to wear it around my neck, that's all. now clarence chimes in without looking over.
you're not jealous, are you clarence?
okay downtown. i'll make sure downtown is only referred to as downtown, okay downtown?
bring it, funky stuff.
knuckle sandwich? who says that?
so, this is the daiquiri room?
aren't you jackie's wife?
i see. well, i'm going to have to pass. i'm good, thanks.
listen um.
i don't think this is going to happen, mrs. moon.
yeah, i'd hate to bring bad luck to flint michigan. lucy has sprayed some whip cream on her nipples.
i can't eat dairy. lucy decides that now is a good time to aggressively kiss him. monix pushes her away.
nice tits, mrs. moon. i gotta go. monix walks down the stairs.
i got traded.
can we talk?
yeah. sorry man--
no. ha.
kyle, can you give us a second? we need to talk.
why does your boyfriend like me so much?
look, there are still some things i think we need to talk about.
i see.
you're really not going to stop me?
and do what?
kill myself?
thanks for the pep. talk.
lynn. can i ask you for one favor?
my knee.
no one here can drain it right.
i think we suck.
so, clarence, what's in this 'hot dish' anyway?
it's a compliment. it's good.
they were fast.
fast up here.
well, you have to be able to jump too.
not right now, okay twiggy?
embarrassing?
quit talking and play defense! the sweaty guy backs in on clarence, posting up top.
ice? what for?
no thanks. now bee bee enters, yet another player in the small room.
you turned off the celtics?
what the hell is that?
why don't you shower in your room?
jackie, have you ever even slept with your wife?
sounds like a great arrangement.
i'm pretty sure we have a game tomorrow.
well, if this is really going to be my life, i might as well be stoned like everyone else.
what the hell is this?
it's harsh.
take what back?
your mom grew this?
well, i'm finished, thanks.
i guess not.
no one calls him clarence. his name
his name's jumping johnny johnson. you got that? jackie hurries over.
that's a moving pick father pat! c'mon!
what about commercials?
commercials, what about commercials? jackie thinks about this, then nods 'good idea.'
--this is bullshit guys. they're kicking our ass in basketball and they're kicking our ass during the commercials, too. does anybody here understand the concept of the pick and roll? because they're going to keep double teaming at the top of the key until somebody rotates the damn ball.
does anyone in this room have any pride? don't you realize, this is thelast four weeks of basketball anyus are ever going to play?is thishow we're really going togo out?you'd think we'd want toend ourcareers battling, hustling after every loose ball. boxing out under the boards. setting picks for our teammates. but we haven't done shit out there. twiggy munson and scootsie double-day hang their heads.
we're a bunch of selfish assholes -- and i've got news for you, we aren't going to finish in fourth, we're going to finish dead last. monix paces in front of the guys, a man possessed.
one day, you're going to look back on your life.  and you're going to look back on this time.  and you're going to realize.  monix is staring right at clarence. and clarence is actually listening.
you're going to realize you never even played basketball. a moment of silence after the intensity. monix waddles to the door.
now, you guys have fun out there in the second half. if anyone needs me, i'll be in the training room, draining my knee. monix limps off, everyone's head is hanging low.
two more johnny walkers. and another pack of kools.
well, tell her that's just fine with me.
well, well, well, look who it is. brian, i'd like you to meet jumping johnny downtown funky stuff boner- time finger-blast fag-erton.
so, what brings you to the the kremlin?
i hate to break it to you, clarence, but the tropics will never play in the nba.
you mean, like, pass?
sorry kid. even if i wanted to play harder, this knee won't let me.
and why should i give a shit about the tropics?
what about jackie? he's the coach.
two more johnny walkers.
thanks. you too.
i know what it takes to be a real team, lynn.
it doesn't matter. the truth is, i hate basketball right now.
why would i hate myself?
you hate me for that. not me. lynn just stares at him.
okay, maybe i hate myself a little.
i rode the bench through the playoffs, lynn.
riding the bench was the greatest moment of my career?
what else did i do?
so, i should be proud of running the scout team?
he was being a nice guy. the bench is the bench.
that's right.
watch that needle.
i don't know.
why are you doing this? what does any of this matter, anyway?
thanks jackie. the way i see it, any team in this league can put together a run. most of our opponents are all flash. if we play unselfish, fundamental basketball, we can win games.
yes. unselfish. unselfish meaning tough team defense, full and half court traps, boxing your man out to help the team rebound.
the most important work we do on the court is away from the basketball. monix flips open a switch blade knife and stabs the ball, deflating it. this gets everyone's attention.
until you start moving like a real team, you practice without a ball.
alright, clarence, run the offense.
set a pick for somebody. clarence jogs over and stands next a scout team opponent.
okay, that's kind of a pick, i guess. try standing on the other side of scootsie's man, so you free him up to cut into the lane. monix corrects clarence, moving his body the way he wants him to stand.
widen your stance. plant your feet. hands back. like this. now scootsie go. set a pick for jackie. scootsie cuts across the lane. the team slowly gets i rotating faster.
now jackie pick bee bee's man, and rotate to the rim like this.  everyone move to the open space. and clarence you swing back out up top. they've completed the play. monix stands there, smiling. the players look at each other, what's the big deal?
you know what that was?
a flash to the high side post with an outside screen and a back door cut. let's do it again.
i'm saving my knee for the games. coach's decision. now run. clarence sets a screen for scootsie and they perform the same basic rotation.
we're not just rotating, we're clearing out, making space. a pass and cut can change defensive match- ups. creating seams can give us back door looks. down screens can make a team vulnerable to penetration.
you don't have to understand it yet. just run it again. you heard me -- again.
no. we're running this play. we're running this play until we puke.
'until we puke' is not a figure of speech. we are literally going to puke.
no. no talking.
go! jackie hangs his head, but then accepts his fate. he runs.
we need to get in shape fellas. and we need to learn some fundamentals quick. -- again! they run it again, getting more and more winded.
i want you to be brain dead. because someday you're going to be too tired, or too nervous to think - - again! and when you are, this is the play i'm going to call. the play that your lungs and legs will have memorized. we will be able to run this in our sleep. clarence tries to gag himself with his fingers.
hey! no sticking your fingers down your throat, clarence, i saw that. you're going to puke. and it's going to be all natural -- again!
move move move! fourth quarter now!
fuck you.
get up and run. you're going to puke like everybody else.
we'll. talk after you puke. go!
yes you can. go. jackie crawls harder along the hardwood.
what are you talking about?
that makes no sense. everyone has thrown up before.
that's bullshit. keep moving, you're going to puke.
what about when you were a baby? babies throw up all the time.
no way.
isn't that kind of dangerous?
what happens if you swallow poison?
stand up. jackie manages to stand up.
have you ever been punched in the jejunum?
it's part of your small intestine.
you okay? jackie is about to speak, but then takes stock of his feelings. there is now an air of tranquility about him. reborn. he's almost euphoric.
on offense, we share the ball. we look for the easy pass, not the spectacular pass.  jackie rolls off the pick and looks for it. for the first time in this sequence, we see the ball. clarence has a clear passing lane -- he feeds jackie for a lay up.
 if a guy's more open than you are, he gets the ball.  instead of celebrating, clarence hustles back on defense. the tropics execute a half court trap. as we watch monix play, we continue to the voice over from practice.
listen up. i'll in-bound. clarence, protect the ball and penetrate if you can. kick it out to scootsie or me and everyone crash the boards hard. looking good, we're thirty seconds away from taking this one home. let's bring it in.
what the hell is he talking about?
what?
i don't give a shit. we're taking it to them.
i don't give a shit about the corn dogs, okay? we play hard every second. we're running the offense. everyone got that? everyone nods. whistle!
rotate further out from the key, so when you get the ball you can face the basket. you've actually got some moves, so you can penetrate.  flint rallies around their team: the guys in hawaiin shirts are out flyering.
clarence, do me a favor, if you dunk the ball, don't dance afterwords. act like you've been there before.
fine, you can dance a little bit.
will you marry me?
you heard me.
you know what i mean.
do you love me?
then let's do it. for real this time. i need you.
yeah. ha! and i suppose you need him?
dogs are loyal.
hey kyle!
can you do me a favor? can you go
woah. what the fuck?
what the hell are you doing!?
i'm outta here.
believe me, this is not all cool.' monix grabs his shit and walks out of the bedroom.
i'll call you.
what are you saying?
yeah, i heard.
coffee black, going to the nba.
it won't be weird. the game doesn't count.
don't be sorry.
--don't. alright? just don't. clarence stares at him. then eventually stands up to leave. there are a million things he wants to say, but he says this:
well, it was all for nothing.
that's just it. clarence shakes his head and walks out.
oh. hey lynn.
pshh. relax.
you got a problem with that?
fine, maybe i will!
no.
i wanted fourth place! okay? that was the whole fucking thing!
listen up. we all know that clarence has been traded. and we all know that this game doesn't matter anymore, right?
well i've got news for you. this game does matter. it matters because this is the last real basketball game any of us is ever going to play. ever. the guys nod, solemn.
tomorrow night, i say we leave it all out there on the floor. because there's nothing else for us to save it for. clarence or no clarence. nba or no nba. merger or no merger. we decided we are going to win fourth place. and that's what we're going to do. jackie is moved. the guys look at each other and nod.
over the past five weeks, we've become a team. and that is no small thing. jackie, have you ever been on a real team before?
how does it feel?
all your lives, you've dreamed of playing in the nba. well, guess what? tomorrow night, you are. you're playing an nba team. and for one night, the world is going to know that you belong.
but the truth is, i want this more than anything i've ever wanted in my whole fucked-up life.
jackie, you've got one more game to
fourth place!
you want to know what i love? this. the eleven of us right here, right now, waiting for the biggest game of our lives to begin.
what are you trying to prove petrelli? you afraid to play basketball?
what the hell are you doing here?
are you out of your mind? you want to lose your nba contract? get out of here.
you're going to give up the nba for this? well, you're a fucking asshole. jackie. are you okay buddy? monix cracks a smelling salt and waves it over jackie's face.
and i don't care how quick their defense is, we need to move the ball and--
what is it? jackie seems very serious.
alright jackie, relax, okay?
it's not a foul unless you touch another player. and it can't be traveling without first establishing a pivot foot. it's two points, father pat, two points. father pat the ref thinks about this.
okay, listen up: they've made adjustments out there. we can't just keep running the alley oop, okay? they're keying on clarence. everyone looks at each other, worried.
we're going to run the puke.
don't tell me you've forgotten it. everyone smiles at each other. they haven't.
we're going to pick away from the ball. we're going to move to the open space. i won't in bound the ball until someone has a good look. . the puke.
what the hell are you doing?
shit. jackie's ritual is insane. he breathes, spins the ball, turns around 360, deep knee bends, touches his left shoulder four times, then suddenly wings the ball high in the air.
all the good players were gone.
just smile for the cameras, shitbitch.