who are you?
have you come for me?
that i know.
my body is frightened, but i am not.
wait a moment.
you play chess, don't you?
i have seen it in paintings and heard it sung in ballads.
but you can't be better than i am.
i have my reasons.
the condition is that i may live as long as i hold out against you. if i win, you will release me. is it agreed?
you drew black!
well, did he show you the way?
what did he say?
was he a mute?
oh?
must you sing?
i want to talk to you as openly as i can, but my heart is empty.
the emptiness is a mirror turned towards my own face. i see myself in it, and i am filled with fear and disgust.
through my indifference to my fellow men, i have isolated myself from their company. now i live in a world of phantoms. i am imprisoned in my dreams and fantasies.
yes, i do.
i want knowledge.
call it whatever you like. is it so cruelly inconceivable to grasp god with the senses? why should he hide himself in a mist of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles?
how can we have faith in those who believe when we can't have faith in ourselves? what is going to happen to those of us who want to believe but aren't able to? and what is to become of those who neither want to nor are capable of believing?
why can't i kill god within me? why does he live on in this painful and humiliating way even though i curse him and want to tear him out of my heart? why, in spite of everything, is he a baffling reality that i can't shake off? do you hear me?
i want knowledge, not faith, not suppositions, but knowledge. i want god to stretch out his hand towards me, reveal himself and speak to me.
i call out to him in the dark but no one seems to be there.
then life is an outrageous horror. no one can live in the face of death, knowing that all is nothingness.
but one day they will have to stand at that last moment of life and look towards the darkness.
in our fear, we make an image, and that image we call god.
death visited me this morning. we are playing chess together. this reprieve gives me the chance to arrange an urgent matter.
my life has been a futile pursuit, a wandering, a great deal of talk without meaning. i feel no bitterness or self-reproach because the lives of most people are very much like this. but i will use my reprieve for one meaningful deed.
he is a clever opponent, but up to now i haven't lost a single man.
i use a combination of the bishop and the knight which he hasn't yet discovered. in the next move i'll shatter one of his flanks.
you've tricked and cheated me! but we'll meet again, and i'll find a way.
this is my hand. i can move it, feel the blood pulsing through it. the sun is still high in the sky and i, antonius block, am playing chess with death.
have you seen the devil?
can that be so dangerous?
i understand.
yes, yes.
what's his name?
how old is he?
he's big for his age.
you played some kind of show this afternoon.
you are more beautiful now without your face painted, and this gown is more becoming.
is that your husband?
oh, that one.
do you do tricks also?
is mikael going to be an acrobat?
but you don't.
let me assure you, that's no pleasure either.
no.
yes.
i have dull company.
no, not him.
myself.
do you, really?
good evening.
i have just told your wife that you have a splendid son. he'll bring great joy to you.
thank you, i don't want anything.
where are you going next?
i wouldn't advise you to go there.
the plague has spread in that direction, following the coast line south. it's said that people are dying by the tens of thousands.
may i suggest .  .  that you follow me through the forest tonight and stay at my home if you like. or go along the east coast. you'll probably be safer there.
i humbly thank you.
for a short while.
people are troubled by so much.
yes, i think i had someone.
i don't know.
we were newly married and we played together. we laughed a great deal. i wrote songs to her eyes, to her nose, to her beautiful little ears. we went hunting together and at night we danced. the house was full of life .
faith is a torment, did you know that? it is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call.
everything i've said seems meaningless and unreal while i sit here with you and your husband. how unimportant it all becomes suddenly.
i shall remember this moment. the silence, the twilight, the bowls of strawberries and milk, your faces in the evening light. mikael sleeping, jof with his lyre. i'll try to remember what we have talked about. i'll carry this memory between my hands as carefully as if it were a bowl filled to the brim with fresh milk.
and it will be an adequate sign -- it will be enough for me.
pardon me. i was detained for a few moments. because i revealed my tactics to you, i'm in retreat. it's your move.
that's my secret.
you did the right thing.
of course. you fell right in the trap. check!
don't worry about my laughter; save your king instead.
our game amuses me.
i understand that you've a lot to do, but you can't get out of our game. it takes time.
why do you ask?
i see that they have hurt your hands.
i have a potion that will stop your pain.
what's your name?
how old are you?
and is it true that you have been in league with the devil?
they say that you have been in league with the devil.
not out of curiosity, but for very personal reasons. i too want to meet him.
i want to ask him about god. he, if anyone, must know.
how?
i see fear in your eyes, an empty, numb fear. but nothing else.
no.
no, there is no one there.
has he told you this?
has he said it?
why have you crushed her hands?
who did?
what have you done with the child?
no, i'll never stop.
take this and it will stop the pain.
she feels no more pain.
this cannot be.
no.
your move!
i didn't notice that.
lost interest? on the contrary.
nothing escapes you -- or does it?
it's true that i'm worried.
i've forgotten how the pieces stood.
what do you see?
that's true.
yes, i did.
and you will divulge your secrets.
so you know nothing.
it's over now and i'm a little tired.
over there stand my friends.
was someone there?
good morning, noble lord.
from our darkness, we call out to thee, lord. have mercy on us because we are small and frightened and ignorant.
god, you who are somewhere, who must be somewhere, have mercy upon us.