terri. why did you let me sleep so late?
she probably forgot what day it is, right arthur? some friend she turned out to be. not like you. you remember what day it is, don't you?
hmm. simon and garfunkel hit. eight letters. any thoughts?
excuse me, whatever happened to that sign, the one that used to hang next to the pies?
the one that said, "today is the first day of the rest of your life."
oh.
working early today, huh?
i knew you'd remember.
no, no. i wasn't born until ten minutes before midnight. and that's when i'll open it.
ooh. it must be good.
yes. there is something.
no. something big. something i've been thinking about for a long time.
i can't do this forever, terri. look.
crow's feet! i'm nineteen! crow's feet! i know i keep talking about it, but this time i'm going to do it. in fact, i did it. this is my last day.
i called them. i told them i was out.
uh-huh. i have one more appointment. then, i'm. free.
a bus ran over it. isn't that perfect? it's a perfect sign.
look, i'm good for next month's rent.
maybe. get out of town for a while. i really feel good about this.
i didn't because. i knew you'd try to talk me out of it.
i know.
thanks.
not including tip.
depends on how generous you feel.
is. this your first appointment?
come over here, you're making me nervous.
so, how much extra do you feel like spending?
uh-huh.
so, this is what you do. weddings.
these are good. you're really a good photographer.
and you can only spend another fifty on me?
yeah, i've heard.
gee, i've never hear that one before.
why?
she photographs people pissing on each other.
yeah. disgusting.
but who would want to look at that? i mean, bathrooms have doors for a reason.
i like things that make me happy. like this.
i bet she's going to have a very happy life.
i don't think i'm the marrying kind, though.
i'm not sure people can be true, that's all.
well. now that we've gotten to know each better, maybe we should get started.
oh, you really have a big cock. my, you really have a big cock. god, what a big cock you have.
as she goes about her work, lorna wears a vaguely puzzled expressions. in fact, puzzles are on her mind.
forty-two across. simon & garfunkel hit. eight letters. begins with 'i'. i. i'm a loser. did they sing that?. susie used to play mom's simon & garfunkel records all the time. i scratched one once and she pulled my hair. i haven't spoken to her for almost a year. her little kid must be walking by now. maybe i should give susie a call. nah, fuck that! she's perfectly capable of calling me. i mean, i'm listed. i'm. i am a rock. that's it!. i am a rock, that's the answer. i am a--
wow. that was something.
let me tell you. that was something.
cut the modesty. you really know what you're doing.
i'm fine. the cab fare will be another twenty.
of course i did. are you calling me a liar?
make a right at the light.
go on, ask.
pull over.
pull over here.
you see that hotel? in one of those rooms, there's a man waiting. he's waiting for me. i don't know what his name is or what he looks like. he may have bad skin. he may be really ugly. but no matter how he looks, or how bad he smells, or whether he makes weird wheezing sounds when he comes, i tell him the same thing. the same thing i told you.
to think what?
it's todd, right.
well, todd, you're alright.
no. you can't. you can't see me again.
sitting on the bed in a tank-top and a short skirt. as fetching as ever.
you must be the groom.
the guys were right. you're a looker.
all the better. i like challenges.
getting married tomorrow, huh?
love, honor, and obey. that's the drill, isn't it?
tomorrow. so, technically, this doesn't count.
you can't break a vow you haven't taken, can you?
i've done my share of lawyers. they spend most of the hour negotiating the tip.
something bothering you?
want my philosophy? if we don't make mistakes now and then, how are we ever going to learn from them?
i've done a few of them, too.
lousy tippers. they spend most of the hour feeling bad about what they're doing. but they do it anyway. then, they shortchange you on the tip. one of them absolved me once, before he left. that's something, i guess.
the guys who can least afford it. guys with families.
hands-down. politicians.
sure. both parties. i don't discriminate. besides, a penis doesn't know from politics. a penis is the most politically incorrect part of the body. it has a simple agenda.
don't worry about it.
hey, it's no sweat. i get paid either way.
that was smart. now, you're bleeding. here.
better?
do you love her?
c'mon. let's sit down.
i wouldn't know.
what's wrong with a little approval?
huh.
i don't see what the big deal is. i play roles all the time.
lorna. and i'll do whatever the hell i want.
sure. i do.
here's your chance.
it's not too far a drop to the lawn. you have gas in your car? then, go. it's the first day of the rest of your life. go. i promise you, this opportunity will not come around twice.
see? easy.
i just want the crossword puzzle.
oh my.
you're wrong. i'm telling you he's two states away by now.
c'mon. we're going inside.
excuse me, could you tell me who's getting married in.
yeah. you don't remember me?
right. i must be thinking of someone else. sorry.
nothing.
alright, alright. i slipped.
what is this? hooking for dummies? c'mon.
shhh.
no, i'm not.
i don't know why he came back.
yeah. he said he wanted to immortalize you. what a line.
on a date?
a non-paying date.
you're right. that is weird.