aaagh! i can pay you!
two weeks, three at the most, aaaagh! for pity's sake.
i have a wonderful new play!
it's a comedy.
a new comedy. by will shakespeare!
and a share. we will be partners, mr. fennyman!
it's a crowd-tickler--mistaken identities, a shipwreck, a pirate king, a bit with a dog, and love triumphant.
this time it is by shakespeare.
romeo and ethel the pirate's daughter.
but i have to pay the actors and the authors.
there's never any
mr. fennyman, i think you may have hit on something.
without doubt he is completing it at this very moment.
will! where is my play? tell me you have it nearly done! tell me you have it started. you have begun?
no, no, we haven't the time. talk prose. where is my play?
god be praised! locked?
who is she this time?!
aphrodite baggot who does it behind the dog and trumpet?
well, i am a dead man and buggered to boot. my theatre is close by the plague these twelve weeks, my company is playing the inn-yards of england, while burbage and the chamberlain's men are invited to court and receive ten pounds to play your piece, written for my theatre, by my writer, at my risk when you were green and grateful -
no--it's comedy they want, will! comedy! like romeo and ethel?
nobody! you are writing it for me! i gave you three pounds a month since.
 . . will! what is money to you and me? i, your patron, you my wordwright! when the plague lifts burbage will have a new christopher marlowe for the curtain and i have nothing for the rose.
fifty pounds? what for?
cut out my heart! throw my liver to the dogs!
where are you going?
now where? will?
burbage, i will see you hanged for a pickpocket.
and what favour does mr. tilney receive from you?
is it about a pirate's daughter?
you see? comedy.
love and a bit with a dog, that's what they like.
there's a lady knows your play by heart.
what have i done, mr. fennyman?
oh, that.
mr. fennyman, let me explain about the theatre business. the natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. believe me, to be close by the plague is a bagatelle in the ups and downs of owning a theatre.
nothing. strangely enough , it all turns out well.
i don't know. it's a mystery.
if you wouldn't mind
oh, it's coming, it's coming.
will! the theatres are
rosaline? you mean ethel.
yes, i heard. the theatres are open. but where is my playwright?
chalk it up, nol. i'm hungry, too.
will! have you finished?
ned alleyn and the admiral's men are out on tour. i need actors. those here who are unknown will have a chance to be known.
it won't cost you a penny! auditions in half-an-hour!
ralph bashford! i'd have a part for you but, alas, i hear you are a drunkard's drunkard.
thank you.
how refreshing.
thank you!
very good, mr. wabash. excellent. report to the property master.
my tailor. wants to be an actor. i have a few debts here and there. well, that seems to be everybody. did you see a romeo?
well, i to my work, you to yours. when can i see pages?
it starts well, and then it's all long- faced about some rosaline. where's the comedy, will. where's the dog? do you think it is funny?
we are at least four acts short, will, if you are looking for disaster.
very well.
yes, but very well.
nobody. the author.
it is customary to make a little speech on the first day. it does no harm and authors like it.
is it?
what? who?
the one who came with your letter?
juliet? you mean ethel.
a sonnet? you mean a play.
you mean, no dog of any kind?
that must be when he goes on the voyage and gets shipwrecked on the island of the pirate king.
not with my props!
we need that for the balcony scene!
my poor rose!
i want no more trouble, mr. fennyman. as i explained to you, the theatre business
the apothecary? will, what is the story? where is the shipwreck? how does the comedy end?
by god, will, if you do not, who does? let us have pirates, clowns, and a happy ending, or we will send you back to stratford to your wife!
well, that will have them rolling in the aisles.
the bill! oh, vanity, vanity!
mr. tilney, what is this?
what?!
why so?
he's a woman!
ned, i swear i knew nothing of this!
it is over.
will!
we'll be needing a romeo
no, it will turn out well.
i don't know, it's a mystery.
another little problem.
the show must … you know
juliet does not come on for twenty pages. it will be all right.
i don't know. it's a mystery.
can we talk?
we have no juliet!
it will be all right, madam.
who are you?
do you know it?
see you in jail.