i think you're crazy. don't look over, it's lenny silverman. a real swinger. he's been trying to fuck me for about two hundred years. hi, leonard. going for a pony ride at kiddielands, want to come along? poster-kleiser. that's right. fine. anyway, you're crazy. oh, honey, don't be totally naive. no, listen. he's a very good hairdresser. well, he is. jill, i'm just trying to be helpful. i spent three years with him. i just couldn't take it not knowing who was gonna pay the rent. his unemployment or mine. george was adorable but it drove me crackers. now at least i'm comfortable. lester does what he says he'll do. maybe you're happy living like a gypsy. are you? face it, you can go around with cute guys and get hung up on their sexy bodies and things like that but sooner or later you've got to find somebody. face it, time isn't on your side. i'm sorry but i need an extra garage key. the man from sloan's is coming. i called you about it. oh, hi, i mean hello, we've met. well, yes, george is a wonderful hairdresser. so how's norman? i go to the blue'n gold barber shop in westwood. the guy in the third chair's dynamite. nobody much. no kidding? your own shop? i am? who do you think i was talking to? steve? steve slutes, and he's not a boy. steve couldn't get arrested as an actor. he couldn't get arrested as a boy. i ran into him at the 76 station on little santa monica, what was i supposed to do, hide in the ladies room? yes, i was talking to him. i'm always on the phone because you never let me see anybody, i can't even bring my girlfriends over to the house because they might run into you. you're driving me up the wall, lester. you're even jealous of the dogs. i mean i've gotta have somebody i can talk to. so i can't talk to some broken down actor, what do you think, i'm going to tell him i'm screwing lester karpf! that's not very logical, lester. really? how about starting with tonight? you and your touchy investors. you're lying about one thing, lester. you're still jealous. fine. jesus. -- maybe she'll come with us. if i tell her how important it is to me, i don't think she'll mind. do you? jill's really great, isn't she? great, more or less. oh, about six weeks now. lester -- well, he's very sweet. he's a very private person, actually. -- well no. it never came up. -- what for? honey, i'll see you later. jill, you're a real sweetie pie. you really are. you're sure you don't mind? you're really a love -- you sure? well, what is it, honey? it must be something. i thought you said things were great with george. we don't think marriage is important. -- yeah, honey. five times a day? really, jill, aren't you exaggerating just a little? five times a day? after four years? no i don't. and i don't know too many girls who do. how much? what? he does? it's been so long i don't how long? i would say so, yes. what? -- when you say forty-five minutes or an hour, do you mean continuous time? just continually, without stopping? -- i guess i just blocked it out, that's all. well, there was this one time -- -- i was in the kitchen doing the dishes and george was out in long beach doing a show. -- well it was very hot so i'd left the door open and the water was running so i didn't hear him come down the stairs. -- he came up behind me and i was wiping a dish and he just. lifted up my skirt, and, you know, right there. -- he reached up and tore them. well. i just kept wiping that dish. maybe it doesn't sound very sexy but it was. no, he picked me up and carried me out to the sundeck -- god, it was hot. the wood on the sundeck, everything. hi. c'mon in. shut up, it's all right. do you want a drink? well, i do. where do you want to do this? can't you do it out here? well, what do you think? is this all right? well, what do you think? you would? you don't seem very sure. okay. but i want you to know one thing. i've got to look great tonight, i mean i have to look great, okay? jill's coming with us. she's incredible. she loves you, george. getting my hair cut is always a little nerve-wracking. i don't get it done often. what's wrong? it's the sauna, i keep the sauna on and it makes the whole bathroom hot. not too much, don't cut too much. the shrink? many times. bernstein. seemed to think i hated men. no. he tried to. uh. make it with me. and what? it was after you, baby. after you. no. lester likes it on all the time in case he wants to use it. anyway, he offered me a silver cloud. at least he should give me a ferrari and pay off my house and give me a nine carat ring or something. there was nothing to know. anyway. if i can't have love i have to at least have money. i have to have some pride i can do something. george. if you screw me up for tonight, i'll kill you, i swear to god, i'll kill you. george. how about felicia? did you? you know what i'm talking about. can i count on that? i just want to see lester with me and that cunt in the same room tonight. well, did you or didn't you? you did, didn't you? you did, i know you did. you just can't stand to miss one of them, can you? george. you're a genius. you're a genius, do you know that, you're a genius? oh, no. oh, no. no! don't! please! it'll ruin everything. don't, don't, don't. oh, no. it's lester. get up, get up, get up. oh god, oh god, oh god. do something, please god, do something. what are you talking about? shut the door, shut the door! shut the door, lester. what do you think this is, a picnic? just a second, i've gotta clean this mess up or the dogs'll have it all over the house. they're yorkies and they don't shed. here. no. because i don't want one. i don't want one! first you tell me not to drink then you tell me to drink, which is it? i don't want a drink! -- you'll be the prettiest thing in the room -- light's green. -- what guy? he's a director. feel better? let's go. what about it? we're upstairs, george. now come on. behave yourself, and for christ's sake, do me a favor. don't let me drink too much. oh i'll uhh -- just a coke. lester, this is my friend jill and this is johnny pope. jill haynes, jill haynes, i've told you about jill a hundred times, lester, you never remember anything i say. jesus, she's my best friend. i don't know. why don't you ask him? hello, felicia. no thanks. has taken an olive from an olive tray and hit lester on the back of the head. he's finished this little dissertation. he sees the source of the missile. he grows pale, frozen. that son of a bitch, everything he says is a phony piece of shit, what does he think, i'm some cigar butt he's got between his teeth -- he just completely ignores me. he could have at least said something, introduced me or something. oh god, what do i want, george? you know what's wrong. jackie shawn. yes. waiter! one word out of you and i'll gargle with it. not for rubber chicken, no. that's very sweet of you, mr. roth. sid. you must be a very important executive. you do? -- well, more than anything else -- -- i'd like to suck his cock. -- just get me out of here, baby. i can't stand it. it's killing me. -- why not? c'mon, take me out of here, somewhere i don't have to lie to anybody and i'll fuck your brains out, you little fiend, i adore you -- -- don't you want to -- who's the greatest cocksucker in the world? c'mon -- fuckin' a -- -- you phony asshole -- -- gee. i don't know what gets into me. no, i blew it, i blew it with lester. you don't think so? i do. you always say that. i really care for lester, don't i? i am you, you little bastard. where do you want to go? he still having parties? the lawn -- it looks like it goes on forever, doesn't it? -- look, you don't have to entertain me. we're friends. -- well, if you feel like playing, go play. -- there's a lot of players in there -- -- no. so what's been going on, red dog? -- oh i thought you were -- nothing. -- very nice, very nice. -- but you never were much of a tit man -- -- ass and legs -- me? well of course. who loves a big fanny on a man? what's wrong? -- no. -- we are? why? -- but what about her? i don't want to hurt jill. oh god. -- well you better go after her. -- you've got to leave. -- yes, honey, you've got to get out of here. lester's on his way. please, we'll have to talk later -- forget about last night, it's okay, we'll talk when i get back -- look -- either you leave or i leave because i don't want the two of us here when lester arrives. i just don't -- my god that's him -- that's it, then i'm leaving. you're going to kill me. well then what are you trying to do- if you knew how many times i wanted to hear you say that. it's too late. lester's left felicia. he's taking me to acapulco on the five o'clock flight. he's asked me to marry him. what's that supposed to mean? what? oh my baby. god, there's lester. i can't just let him stand by the door. i've got to. i've got to tell him where i am. i don't know -- i've got to.