that's enough. he's ready to talk.
run, run, run, as fast as you can. you can't catch me. i'm the gingerbread man.
i'm not the monster here. you are. you and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. now, tell me! where are the others?
i've tried to be fair to you creatures. now my patience has reached its end! tell me or i'll.
all right then. who's hiding them?
the muffin man?
yes, i know the muffin man, who lives on drury lane?
the muffin man?
she's married to the muffin man.
then what are you waiting for? bring it in.
magic mirror.
evening. mirror, mirror on the wall. is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
uh, thelonius. you were saying?
go on.
three? one? three?
okay, okay, uh, number three!
princess fiona. she's perfect. all i have to do is just find someone who can go.
i'll do it.
silence! i will make this princess fiona my queen, and duloc will finally have the perfect king! captain, assemble your finest men. we're going to have a tournament.
brave knights. you are the best and brightest in all the land. today one of you shall prove himself.
that champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. if for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make. let the tournament begin! oh! what is that? it's hideous!
indeed. knights, new plan! the one who kills the ogre will be named champion! have it him!
no, i have a better idea. people of duloc, i give you our champion!
congratulations, ogre. you're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.
your swamp?
indeed. all right, ogre. i'll make you a deal. go on this quest for me, and i'll give you your swamp back.
down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
as good as gone.
again, show me again. mirror, mirror, show her to me. show me the princess.
ah. perfect.
princess fiona.
very well, ogre. the deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. take it and go before i change my mind. forgive me, princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for i have never seen such a radiant beauty before. i'm lord farquaad.
oh, that is so sweet. you don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. it's not like it has feelings.
princess fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless fiona. i ask your hand in marriage. will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
excellent! i'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
oh, anxious, are you? you're right. the sooner, the better. there's so much to do! there's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. captain, round up some guests!
go on.
oh, now what does he want?
outrageous! fiona, don't listen to him.
oh, this is precious. the ogee has fallen in love with the princess! oh, good lord.
an ogre and a princess!
who cares? it's preposterous! fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." now kiss me!
ugh! it's disgusting! guards! guards! i order you to get that out of my sight now! get them! get them both!
this hocus-pocus alters nothing. this marriage is binding, and that makes me king! see? see?
don't just stand there, you morons.
i'll make you regret the day we met. i'll see you drawn and quartered! you'll beg for death to save you!
and as for you, my wife.
i'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! i'm king!
i will have order! i will have perfection! i will have - - aaaah! aah!