oh! oh!
what?
i am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
but wait, sir knight. this be-ith our first meeting. should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?
hey, wait. what are you doing? you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
mm-hmm.
but we have to savor this moment! you could recite an epic poem for me. a ballad? a sonnet! a limerick? or something!
can i at least know the name of my champion?
sir shrek. i pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
you didn't slay the dragon?
but this isn't right! you were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. that's what all the other knights did.
that's not the point. oh! wait. where are you going? the exit's over there.
what kind of knight are you?
it talks!
you did it! you rescued me! you're amazing. you're - - you're wonderful. you're.  a little unorthodox i'll admit. but thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. i am eternally in your debt. and where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
the battle is won. you may remove your helmet, good sir knight.
why not?
please. i would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
but how will you kiss me?
no, it's destiny. oh, you must know how it goes. a princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss.
well, yes.
what is so funny?
just take off the helmet.
take it off.
now!
you- - you're a- - an ogre.
well, yes, actually. oh, no. this is all wrong. you're not supposed to be an ogre.
then why didn't he come rescue me?
but i have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his- - his pet.
i'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. you can tell lord farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, i'll be waiting for him right here.
you wouldn't dare. put me down!
put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! this is not dignified! put me down!
you just tell her she's not your true love. everyone knows what happens when you find your.  hey! the sooner we get to duloc the better.
and what of my groom-to-be? lord farquaad? what's he like?
tomorrow? it'll take that long? shouldn't we stop to make camp?
but there's robbers in the woods.
i need to find somewhere to camp now!
no, no, it's perfect. it just needs a few homey touches.
a door? well, gentlemen, i bid thee good night.
i said good night!
good morning. hm, how do you like your eggs?
you know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. i wanted to make it up to you. i mean, after all, you did rescue me.
well, eat up. we've got a big day ahead of us.
thanks.
well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.
what are you doing?
look, pal, i don't know who you think you are!
man, that was annoying!
uh, shall we?
what?
well.  when one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a.  there's an arrow in your butt!
oh, no. this is all my fault. i'm so sorry.
shrek's hurt.
donkey! calm down. if you want to help shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.
for getting rid of donkey.
now you hold still, and i'll yank this thing out.
i'm sorry, but it has to come out.
now, hold on.
don't move.
would you.  okay. what do you propose we do?
okay. okay. i can nearly see the head. it's just about.
that's duloc?
sure. but, shrek? i'm - - i'm worried about donkey.
i mean, look at him. he doesn't look so good.
that's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. dead.
uh, you know, i'll make you some tea.
i'll get the firewood.
mmm. this is good. this is really good. what is this?
no kidding. well, this is delicious.
i guess i'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
i'd like that.
yes, shrek?
sunset? oh, no! i mean, it's late. i-it's very late.
yes! yes, that's it. i'm terrified. you know, i'd better go inside.
good night.
oh, no!
shh!
no, it's okay. it's okay.
donkey, i'm the princess.
it's me, in this body.
donkey!
no!
shh.
this is me.
i'm ugly, okay?
no. i - - i've been this way as long as i can remember.
it only happens when sun goes down. "by night one way, by day another. this shall be the norm.  until you find true love's first kiss.  and then take love's true form."
it's a spell. when i was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. every night i become this. this horrible, ugly beast! i was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. that's why i have to marry lord farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.
but donkey, i'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look.
i have to. only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
shrek?
i can't just marry whoever i want. take a good look at me, donkey. i mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "princess" and "ugly" don't go together. that's why i can't stay here with shrek.
my only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
don't you see, donkey? that's just how it has to be. it's the only way to break the spell.
no! you can't breathe a word. no one must ever know.
promise you won't tell. promise!
i tell him, i tell him not. i tell him, i tell him not. i tell him. shrek! shrek, there's something i want.
shrek. are you all right?
i - - i don't - - there's something i have to tell you.
you heard what i said?
i thought you'd understand.
but i thought that wouldn't matter to you.
lord farquaad? oh, no, no. forgive me, my lord, for i was just saying a short.  farewell.
no, you're right. it doesn't.
lord farquaad, i accept. nothing would make - -
no! i mean, uh, why wait? let's get married today before the sun sets.
fare-thee-well, ogre.
um-
excuse me. could we just skip ahead to the "i do's"?
shrek?
what are you doing here?
oh, now you wanna talk? it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me
and why not?
and what do you know about true love?
shrek, is this true?
"by night one way, by day another." i wanted to show you before.
shrek!
no, let go of me! shrek!
no, shrek!
yes, shrek?
really?
i love you too.
well, yes. but i don't understand. i'm supposed to be beautiful.