about time you got here, bud. mr. prompt.
don't bother him with that. we got to get going.
yeah, miles, don't be so modest. indulge them. don't make me out to be a liar.
see?
where the fuck were you, man? i was dying in there. we were supposed to be a hundred miles away by now.
come on. you're fucking hungover.
you said you had it all lined up.
yeah, conundrum.
i don't know. senior editor? sounds like you're in to me.
but i know it's going to happen this time. i can feel it. this is the one. i'm proud of you, man. you're the smartest guy i know.
come on, we're celebrating. i say we pop it.
shut up. here's to a great week.
yeah.
oh, that's tasty.
pinot noir? how come it's white? doesn't noir mean dark?
just tell me.
sure is tasty.
oh, yeah. yeah.
i liked it a lot. a lot of improvements. it just seemed overall, i don't know, tighter, more.  congealed or something.
oh yeah. much better.
well, then i guess it must have felt new because everything leading up to it was so different.
it's christine. hey you.
yeah. all twenty minutes so far have been a blast.
so what's up?
yeah. the feldmans.
well, then put him at the singles table.
then put him with the feldmans. whatever you and your mom decide is fine with me.
i didn't dismiss you. i told you what i thought, but it didn't seem to matter, so you decide. besides, this is supposed to be my time with miles. i hope you're not going to call every five minutes.
honey, i'm just saying you know i need a little space before the wedding. isn't that the point of this? isn't that what we talked about with dr. gertler?
i don't know, christine. perhaps it's because i feel attacked.
listen. i'll call you when we get there, and we can talk about it then, okay?
i love you.
whoa, why are we getting off?
what?
your mother? jesus, miles, we were supposed to be up there hours ago.
how old's she going to be?
that's a good age.
they're from both of us.
jeez, mrs. raymond, that was eleven years ago.
yeah, well, you should be my agent.
you look fabulous, mrs. raymond.
(concentrated on the
mrs. raymond, this is delicious. absolutely delicious.
is it chicken?
oh, that was for, uh, wait.  that was for spray and wash.
yeah, i remember the girl who was in it with me. she was something.
and miles is my best man, mrs. raymond. my main man.
two years ago, buddy.
oh, yeah. real well. still do.
fuck, man. too early in the morning for that, you know what i mean?
that's your problem, miles.
speak for yourself. i get chicks looking at me all the time. all ages.
you need to get laid.
it'd be the best thing for you. you know what? i'm going to get you laid this week. that's going to be my best man gift to you. i'm not going to give you a pen knife or a gift certificate or any of that other horseshit.
no. no. you've been officially depressed for like two years now, and you were always a negative guy anyway, even in college. now it's worse -- you're wasting away. teaching english to fucking eighth-graders when they should be reading what you wrote. your books.
you still seeing that shrink?
well, i say fuck therapy and what's that stuff you take, xanax?
well, i say fuck that. you need to get your joint worked on, that's what you need.
and get your bone smooched.
what?
whatever's closest, man. i need a glass.
i thought you hated chardonnay.
hey, miles. i really hope your novel sells.
i told you. filet and salmon.
i don't know. salmon. don't you always have white wine with fish?
let me call christine.
i owe her a call anyway.
hey, honey. so we're up here about to taste some whites, and we need to know how the caterers are going to make the salmon.
no, i know, i didn't forget, but we wound up at miles's mom's house, and it got really late, and it was hard to call, so i'm calling you now. i said i was sorry. yes, i did. you heard me say i was sorry, right?
miles heard me say i was sorry.
give me a break, will you? i just called to find out about the salmon -- for our wedding -- to be more involved, like you said -- and all you want to do is get into it about last night and, okay, i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't call. you're totally right. i know, but i'm trying to make this the best wedding i can with the best wine we can find. don't i get any credit for that? okay. look, i've got to go. i'm out here in the parking lot, and miles is waiting for me.
baked with a butter-lime glaze.
how you doing?
sounds good.
this is rose, right?
pinot noir? not again! you know, not all pinots are noir.
what color is it supposed to be?
huh.
i don't know. wine? fermented grapes?
huh. maybe a little strawberry. yeah, strawberry. i'm not so sure about the cheese.
when do we get to drink it?
how would you rate this one?
you know, you could work in a wine store.
want some?
just a minute!
i thought you said it was close. now i'm all pitted out.
we should have driven.
you think i'm making a mistake marrying christine?
come on, do you think i'm doing the right thing? tell the truth. you've been through it.
christine's dad -- he's been talking about bringing me into his property business. showing me the ropes. and that's something, considering how long it took him to get over i'm not armenian. so i'm thinking about it. but i don't know, might get a little incestuous. but mike does pretty well. a lot of high-end commercial stuff.
no way. this would just provide some stability is what i'm saying. i can always squeeze in an audition or a commercial here and there, you know, keep myself in the game in case something big comes along.
we're not getting any younger, right? and my career, well, it's gotten pretty, you know, frustrating. even with my new manager. maybe it's time to settle down.
it does. feels right.
yeah. it's good. feels good.
yeah. tight.
here's to my last week of freedom.
miles. check it out.
you know her?
you know that chick?
she is very hot.
doesn't mean shit. when christine was a hostess at sushi roku, she wore a big engagement ring to keep guys from hitting on her. think it worked? fuck no. how do you think i met her?
so what's a professor's wife doing waitressing? obviously that's over.
hiya.
jesus, she's jammin'. and she likes you. what else do you know about her?
ooooooohh. now we're getting somewhere.
perfect.
why do you always focus on the negative? didn't you see how friendly she was to you?
you're blind, dude. blind.
that's on us.
it's getting published. that's what we're up here celebrating.
no, i'm an actor.
a lot of tv. i was a regular on a couple of series. and lately i've been doing a lot of commercials. national mostly.
maybe. recognize this?
"now with low, low 5.8% apr financing."
i am one of those guys.
consult your doctor before using this product. side effects may include oily discharge, dizziness, hives, loss of appetite, difficulty breathing and low blood pressure. if you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble.  you're fucked!
windmill.
we'll catch up with you later, okay?
we'll probably go back to the hotel and crash?
the girl is looking to party, and you tell her we're going to go back to our motel room and crash? jesus, miles!
the chick digs you. she lit up like a pinball machine when she heard your novel was getting published.
i'm trying to get you some action, but you've got to help me out just a little bit.
somebody had to do the talking. and by the way, i was right. she's not married.
no rock. when she came to the bar, sans rock.
single. waitress. getting off work. looking for love. a little slap and tickle.
she probably went home, lit some candles, put on some relaxing music, took a nice hot bath, and laid down on her bed with her favorite vibrator.
oooh. oh. miles. miles.
you need to get your prostate checked.
so what's the plan today?
i am going to get my nut on this trip, miles. and you are not going to fuck it up for me with all your depression and anxiety and neg-head downer shit.
yes they are. and i'm serious. do not fuck with me. i am going to get laid before i settle down on saturday. do you read me?
no, see, i want both of us to get crazy. we should both be cutting loose. i mean, this is our last chance. this is our week! it should be something we share.
but i am warning you.
pigs in a blanket. with extra syrup.
yeah, oak. that's a good wood.
beautiful.
miles.
miles, i gotta tell you something. victoria's coming to the wedding.
yeah, but that's not the whole story. she got remarried.
about a month ago. six weeks.
miles.  miles.
jesus christ, miles. get out!
you've been divorced for two years already. people move on. she has! it's like you enjoy self-pity. makes you feel special or something.
what do you think?
because i knew you'd freak out and probably get so depressed you wouldn't even come on this trip. but then i figured here would be the best place to tell you. we're here to forget about all that shit. we're here to party!
no, no, no. it's cool. i talked to victoria. she's cool. everyone's cool.
hey, hey, hey. no, you don't!
miles?
you going to be okay?
excellent. my friend and i are up here doing the wine tour, and he tells me that you folks make one hell of a syrah.
i'm a quick learner.
that's right -- i'm here to learn. i never had that much interest in wine before, but this trip has been very enlightening. always like wine, of course, but i don't know. more of a beer man, really. microbreweries.
now there's a girl who knows how to pour. what's your name?
nice.
i like it. tastes great. oaky.
tastes good to me. you live around here, stephanie?
oh yeah? we're just over in buellton. windmill inn.
you know a gal named maya? works at the hitching post?
no shit. we just had a drink with her last night. miles knows her.
you're a bad, bad girl, stephanie.
a bad girl, miles. she might need to be spanked.
get the trunk.
we're on.
she called maya, who's not working tonight, so we're all going out.
been divorced for a year now, bud.
stephanie, holy shit. chick had it all going on.
cute? she's a fucking hottie. and you almost tell her i'm getting married. what's the matter with you? gotta love it. gotta love it.
you know how often these pourers get hit on? i'm going for a swim. get the blood flowing. want to come?
miles. hey, miles. time to get up.
fucking chick in the jacuzzi -- goddamn, miles, fucking going nuts up here. whole place is wide open. assylvania.
i don't know. casual but nice. they think you're a writer.
don't you have any other shoes?
hello? oh hey, baby, just checking in. not much. we're about to go out for dinner, probably be out pretty late, so i thought i'd say goodnight now. i know, i love you too. i miss you.
please just try to be your normal humorous self, okay? like who you were before the tailspin. do you remember that guy? people love that guy. and don't forget -- your novel is coming out in the fall.
do not sabotage me. if you want to be a lightweight, that's your call. but do not sabotage me.
and if they want to drink merlot, we're drinking merlot.
okay, okay. relax, miles, jesus. no merlot. did you bring your xanax?
and don't drink too much. i don't want you going to the dark side or passing out. do you hear me? no going to the dark side.
we're going in.
how you doin' tonight, beautiful?
great. you look great. you both do.
whatever you girls want. it's on us tonight. sky's the limit.
i don't think so. we're celebrating miles's book deal.
me too.
pinot!
easy, boy. easy.
what the fuck, man? what is up?
pull yourself together, man.
where were you?
did you drink and dial?
why do you always do this? victoria's gone, man. gone. poof.
stop it. you are blowing a great opportunity here, miles. fucking maya, man. she's great. she's cool. she's funny. she knows wine. what is this morose come-down bullshit? these girls want to party. and what was that fucking ten-minute lecture on, what was it, vouvrays? i mean, come on!
oh jesus, miles.
and don't forget all the bad times you had with victoria. how small she make you feel. that's why you had the affair in the first place.
don't you see how maya's looking at you? you got her on the hook. reel her in! come on, let's rachet this up a notch. you know how to to do it. here. drink some agua.
excellent idea. waiter!
let me see that.
here. one for you, three for me.
we're here!
couple of wrong turns. thanks to magellan, here.
hi.
"and now for a low, low 4.8% apr"
fucking chick is unbelievable. un-be- lieve-able!
goddamn, miles, she is nasty. nasty nasty nasty.
oh, hey, change of plans. steph's off today, so she and i are going on a hike.
you go. in fact, use my clubs. they're brand new -- gift from christine's dad. it's on me. oh, say, by the way, stephanie and me were thinking we'd all go to the hitching post tonight and sit at one of maya's tables, and she'll bring us some great wines and then we can all --
oooh, i see. didn't go so good last night, huh? that's a shocker. you mean getting drunk and calling victoria didn't put you in the mood? you dumb fuck. your divorce pain's getting real old real fast, dude.
later.
oh, boy.
yeah. okay.
i will. see ya!
okay! jesus!
i've got no problem calling her.
wait outside, will you?
hey miles. miles.
do you have that other condom?
lucked out -- got voice mail. everything's cool.
atop stephanie, plowing her fertile fields. despite the interruption, their pace does not alter.
not now! not now!
hey, there you are.
what're you drinking?
any good?
could i get a glass please? stephanie took me out into the pinot fields today. it was awesome. i think i finally got a handle on the whole process, from the soil to the vine to the -- what do you call it? -- selection and harvest. and the whole, you know, big containers where they mix it. we even ate pinot grapes right off the vine. still a little sour but already showing potential for great structure. stephanie really knows her shit, miles.
upstairs. getting cleaned up.
what?
um.  not exactly. but i've been honest. i haven't told her i'm available. and she knows this trip up here is only for a few days. besides.
well.  i don't know, just.  the wedding.
well, i've been doing some thinking.
i may have to put the wedding on hold is all.
i fully realize that making a change like that might be tricky for certain people to accept at first, but life is short, miles. i've got to be sure i'm doing the right thing before taking such a big step. and not just for my sake. i'm thinking about christine's feelings too. i take marriage very seriously -- always have. that's why i've never done it before. the day i get married, it's going to be the real thing.
being with stephanie has opened my eyes. she's not uptight or controlling. she's just cool. things are so easy with her. smells different. tastes different. fucks different. fucks like an animal. i'm telling you, i went deep last night, miles. deep.
don't get all judgmental on me. this is my deal. it's my life, and it's my call.
i was hoping to get some understanding from you. and i'm not getting it.
like i might be in love with another woman.
look who's talking. you've been there.
this is totally different. i'm talking about avoiding what you're talking about. that's the distinction. i have not made the commitment yet. i am not married. i have not said the words. in a few days, i might get married, and if i do, then i won't be doing stuff like this anymore. otherwise, what's the whole point of getting married?
here's what i'm thinking. we move up here, you and me, buy a vineyard. you design your own wine; i'll handle the business side. then you get inspired and write a new novel. as for me, if an audition comes along, hell, la's two hours away. not even.
what do you care anyway? you don't even like christine.
you said she was shallow. yeah, and a nouveau riche.
look, miles, all i know is i'm an actor. all i have is my instinct. my intuition -- that's all i have. and you're asking me to go against it. and that's just wrong.
listen, i'm going to make sure steph and siena get home safe, and then maybe we'll hook up with you later, okay?
call me on my cell if you go out.
come on, dude. let's go golfing! i got us in at alisal.
she's working. i need a break anyway. she's getting a little clingy. this is our day!
crap.
did you ever got ahold of maya yesterday?
she likes you, man. stephanie'll tell you.
oh yeah. sure.
you know, in life you gotta strike when the iron's hot.
don't whiff it.
nice shot.
what about your agent? hear anything yet?
what do you think's going on?
been checking your messages?
huh.
but you don't know yet, so your negativity's a bit premature, wouldn't you say?
or fuck those new york publishers. publish it yourself. i'll chip in. just get it out there, get it reviewed, get it in libraries. let the public decide.
don't come over the top. stay still.
just trying to be helpful. it's all about stillness, miles. inner quiet.
why are you so hostile? i know you're frustrated with your life right now, but you can choose not to be so hostile. here.
i don't know. got it from stephanie.
what the fuck?
hey, asshole! that's not cool!
nice shot.
watches their approach, grinning.
oh, this is going to be fun. this is going to be fun.
hit into us again, motherfuckers, and i'll ass-rape all four of you!
just don't give up on maya. cool smart chicks like that --they like persistence.
all i know is she's beautiful. lots of soul. perfect for you. i'm not going to feel good about this trip until you guys hook up. don't you just want to feel that cozy little box grip down on your johnson?
is it the money thing?
with maya.
is an abattoir like a.  like a.  what is that?
abattoir. huh. but you are going to get the good news this week about your book. i know you are. i can feel it.
it's steph. hey, baby. yeah. oh yeah. yesssss. i mean i would, but let me see. hey, miles.  oh fuck it, we're going. we'll be right there. me too.
we're on.
we're going to have some fun. remember fun? we're going to have some of it. okay?
i said okay?
i said okay?
you ever actually read any of this guy's books?
huh.
yo! yo! here's my boy! here's my boy! who's your daddy, boy? who is yo' daddy?
i'm so proud of you! let me love you!
so tell me everything. details. i like details.
what?
you're kidding, right? tell me what happened, you fucker, or i'll tie your dick in a knot.
you didn't get any, did you? you're a homo.
wow. okay. calm down. sorry.
did you have trouble performing? yeah, that's.
hello? oh, hey, honey. how you doing? uh-huh. uh-huh. christine.
listen, honey. let me call you back. miles and i are in the middle of something. no, it's nothing serious -- miles is just having one of his freak- outs. yeah. love you too. i'll call you right back.
who's being selfish now? i'm the one getting married. i thought this week was supposed to be about me.
i know what you need.
yeah, they're great. sporty. they're really sporty.
feel better?
oh here, wait a second. i want to run in here real quick.
i want to get something for siena.
how about this one? we didn't hit this one.
you ever actually been in there, miles?
i say we check it out. you never know.
i don't know. tastes okay to me. hey, they got a reserve pinot.
what's up?
it's all right. his mother just died.
just write another one. you have lots of ideas, right?
what's that supposed to mean?
what about that guy who wrote confederacy of dunces? he committed suicide before he got published, and look how famous he is.
don't give up. you're going to make it.
see? right there. just what you just said. that's beautiful. a thumbprint on a skyscraper. i couldn't write that.
oh, look. there's steph!
hey, baby.
look what i got for our favorite girl.
i can explain.
don't need a lecture. you fucking told maya, didn't you?
you told him. i'm fucking hurting here.
i'm going to need an operation. maybe a couple of them. they have to wait for it it to heal first. then they break it again.
gonna fuck that up too. i should sue her ass. only reason i won't is to protect christine.
yeah.
i hate this place.
so how did stephanie know it was saturday? we didn't get into that with gary.
you sure you didn't say anything to maya?
i don't know. just seems fishy.
what's it look like to you?
i'm hungry.
you know what i'm thinking?
i'm thinking it's time to settle down. one woman. one house. you know. it's time.
mm. mm.
oh, so that's what those are? for a second there i thought you guys were promoting safe sex.
i bet you that chick is two tons of fun. you know, the grateful type.
nice technique there.  . cammi.
no, we're from san diego. why?
hang on. did you ever know a derek sommersby?
you have to imagine him with a bandage and shorter hair.
she gets off in an hour, so i think i'm just going to have a drink and then.  make sure she gets home safe.
look, miles. i know you're my friend and you care about me. and i know you disapprove. i respect that. but there are some things i have to do that you don't understand. you understand wine and literature and movies, but you don't understand my plight. and that's okay.
silhouetted against the first rosy fingers of dawn. he is barefoot. in fact he is clad only in his underwear. hugging himself, he pants and shivers.
jesus fucking christ, it's freezing.
vicodin. where's the vicodin? my nose.
fucking chick's married.
her husband works a night shift or something, and he comes home, and i'm on the floor with my cock in his wife's ass.
ran. twisted my ankle too.
fucking-a it's five clicks! at one point i had to cut through an ostrich farm. fuckers are mean.
we gotta go back.
i left my wallet. my credit cards, cash, fucking id, everything. we gotta go back.
you don't understand. the wedding bands. the wedding bands are in my wallet.
no. she ordered them special. took her forever to find them. they've got this design on them with dolphins and our names engraved in sanskrit. we've got to go back. christine'll fucking crucify me.
please, miles, please.
no, we've got to get my wallet! those rings are irreplaceable! we've got to get them, miles! i fucked up! i know i fucked up, okay? i fucked up. you gotta help me. you gotta help me. pleeeease!
oh, god, please.  oh god. i know i'm bad. i know i did a bad thing. help me, miles. just this one thing, this one last thing. i can't lose christine. i can't. i'm nothing without her. please, miles, please.  uuuuu.  uuuuuu.  uuuuuuu.
yeah.
wasn't supposed to be back till six. fucker rolls in at five.
horny as shit. flopping around like a landed trout.
yeah, this is the block. just keep going.  yeah! this is it. there's her car.
the plan is.  you go.
my ankle. just go explain the situation.
yeah, yeah. like that. just like that.
fuck you. i'll get it myself.
removes the rings from the wallet.
you did it! you fucking did it!
hrnrnrn?
yep. quite a day.
want me to drive?
hey, why don't you invite maya to the wedding?
you're so negative.
come on, let me drive.
i feel like driving.
nothing. buckle up, okay?
you said it looked like a car accident.
i'll pay for it.
i don't know. doesn't look like anybody got hurt in this one.
you need a new car anyway.
i said i'd pay for it.
whatever. sorry.
you ready?
it's okay. i've got triple a.
why don't you come in?
so i'll see you at the rehearsal.
love you, man.
hey, don't pull away till they see the car.
you were wearing your belt.