what's you last name?
what are all them books?
how come you're carryin' them around with you.
don't you live somewhere?
why'd you live there?
they let you out?
how come?
are you well?
you don't seem like you'd kill nobody.
this is my house. you can just set those bags on the porch.
do you like to play football?
me and the burnett twins and some boys plays down at the junior high practice field all the time. if you ever want to come by and play. we ain't no good either. well, i'll see you later.
hey there. i thought i heard somebody on the porch. wasn't your name karl?
yeah. what you doin' by here?
did you want to play ball with us?
well, anyhow, i was just fixin' to go see my mama down at ben's dollar store. she's workin' two till eight.
wait a minute. you want to go with me? you can meet my mama.
aw, come on. you'll like her. she's real nice. she'll give us somethin' if we ask her to. candy or somethin'.
they sell some of everything. come on let's go. i won't tell her about you bein' in the state hospital for killin'.
hey, mama. hey, vaughan.
yeah.
i don't like potted meat. daddy used to say it was made out of lips and peckers and intestints.
oh, that's karl. i met him at the laundrymat. karl, this is my mama. and vaughan, vaughan's the manager. he lets mama off any time she feels like it 'cause they're best friends.
hey karl, guess what. mama said you can stay with us. out in the garage. our car won't fit in there anyway. it's real neat.
can we get some candy and pops?
this is what i call my secret place 'cause i come out here when i feel like bein' by myself. i used to come here with karen cross. she's kind of like my girlfriend, or used to be. she says she likes jerry maroney now. but i'm gonna get her back 'cause i love her. we used to come here and hold hands and talk and read books to each other with a flashlight. she didn't want to have anything to do with me in front of other people 'cause i don't have any money. well, mama and me, i mean. she seemed to like me a whole lot when we were out here though. she said she loved me, too. out here. settin' right on that stump you're on. see, her daddy's a dentist so they're rich. so's jerry maroney's daddy. he owns the ice plant. was your folks well off?
they still around, your folks?
how do you know?
how did your mama die?
i've had a lot of bad thoughts since my daddy died. sometimes i wish i was still real little and he was still here. my mama's real good, but i wish i had both of 'em. when we went to memphis one time in the car, it was rainin' so hard we couldn't see the road. but i wadn't scared because i thought as long as daddy was drivin' nothin' could happen to us. i feel that way about mama now. mama has a boyfriend now. his name is doyle hargraves. he works construction so he makes a pretty good livin'. he still don't help mama out with any money though. he ain't no good. he's mean to her. he don't like me at all. mama says it's because he's jealous i belong to my daddy instead of him. he stays with us all night sometimes, but he's got his own house. somebody told me it's so he can still have other girlfriends. i like it on the nights when he ain't at our house. i'm not so nervous then.
she says it's for the times when he's good to her. she's lonely since daddy died. she said sometimes she don't know why. he threatened to kill her if she ever left him. my daddy would kill him if he was here and somebody was mean to mama. vaughan, he's real good to mama. vaughan that you met. but he's not able to do anything to doyle, he's funny you know. not funny ha, ha, funny queer. he likes to go with men instead of women. that makes him not to be able to fight too good. he sure is nice though. he's from st. louis. people who are queer can get along better in a big town. he got transferred here to work. but mama said the real reason he left is 'cause his daddy hated him. for bein' the way he is. i wish he liked to go with women. i'd rather him be mama's boyfriend than doyle.
karl. you know when i said daddy got hit by a train.
it ain't the truth. he shot hisself with a shotgun on purpose.
'cause he didn't have enough money to take care of us the way he wanted to. that's what the letter said. he got laid off from work and had to just work odd jobs. i thought he took care of us fine. karl, did you really kill somebody?
who did you kill?
were they bad people?
maybe they needed it.
it's okay if you're lookin' out for yourself. if it's self-defense. was it self-defense?
my daddy was good. i think too many good people die. it ain't right. that's what i think.
he's real honest. he wouldn't steal nothin'.
no sir.
i ain't sure.
i want to watch t.v.
hey. y'all come on in.
naw, i don't want to. me and karl got things we need to do.
come on, karl, let's go out to the garage.
stop it, doyle!
stop it, doyle! don't talk about daddy, you hear me!
come on, karl.
i'd like to kill that son of a bitch. i hate him.
well, i hate him.
will you stay here with us for a long time?
i don't see how you can eat that stuff with all those insides it's made out of.
i like the way you talk.
i don't know. he just said he'd eat out there.
i sure like the way he talks. it sounds like a race car motor idlin'. it makes me not be nervous.
i get nervous, that's all i know.
last time you got mad and run morris and them off and said to stay away from here.
they ain't even no good. the only one can play is randy horsefeathers. he claims he's an indian. his real name's randy collins and he works at the feed mill. he can at least play guitar.
he ain't ever okay to me.
i hate you!
you all right, mama?
we don't need to think bad thoughts, do we mama?
did vaughan go home?
did karl go to bed?
i bet he don't. karl likes me.
mama?
is everything gonna be all right someday? i just stay nervous all the time just about.
doyle wouldn't really kill you, would he?
i love you, too, mama.
i just don't have anything to say about shoes.
hey karl, you off work?
where'd you get them flowers?
i was goin' to the secret place. i borried one of your books to take down there. you ain't mad, are you?
it's name's a christmas carol.
you want to go with me?
i'm gettin' tired of readin' for a while.
boy, folks sure had it rough back a long time ago, didn't they?
yeah, me too. that was nice of that woman to give you them flowers.
i was wantin' to ask you somethin'.
you know that girl i told you about. the one i love.
would you go see her with me? i kind of thought i might take her some flowers like that woman done you.
i ain't got no money to get 'em with but i bet vaughan will let me have some of them flowers at the store.
i usually get run off by her mama or daddy if they're home. reckon why they don't like me?
just 'cause i'm not rich don't mean i don't love her.
and i don't try to touch her. you know, in a bad way. foolin' around, sex and all.
what do you mean?
oh, jackin' off?
i didn't know till here while back a year or two ago when i spent the night with ronnie smart one time. he said just tug on your peter and think about your mama. i tried it, but i felt funny thinkin' about my mama. so, i switched over to thinkin' about his mama and then what he told me would happen, happened. it sure tingles, don't it?
i kind of like you tellin' me what to do and not to do. just like my daddy. i didn't mind him tellin' me. i hate doyle to tell me what to do. mama said the only way to ever get away from him is for him to get away from us. that we can't leave him or he'll try and hurt her.
you don't seem like a daddy. you seem like a brother. wonder what makes you like somebody right off when you don't even know 'em like what happened with me and you.
and then some people you don't like right off. it's funny. you know why i want you to play ball with me?
'cause it's fun. it don't matter if you ain't no good. it takes your mind off of everything else while you're doin' it. when you run real fast tryin' to make a touchdown you don't think about anything else. i ain't no good, but my daddy always said he was proud of me when i threw a ball or ran with it. did you have any brothers and sisters growin' up to play with?
why not? it died?
why?
so it died when it come out?
it was alive?
a boy or girl?
you threw it in a trash barrel?
it was still alive when you buried it?
that don't seem right. it seems like you should have kept him alive and took care of him if he was your brother.
that makes me feel real sad. couldn't you have done somethin', karl? i would have. i wish i would of had him. he'd be here right now. livin'.
i didn't mean to say anything bad about you. i know you're good. you didn't mean no harm. did you ever think about killin' yourself on purpose like my daddy did?
bible says the same thing about killin' others, too.
i always get nervous when i hear that doorbell. i'm okay just walkin' over, but somethin' about that dang doorbell. they have one room where you can't walk on the carpet or sit on the furniture. i don't see much sense in havin' it.
ma'am, i really want to give them to karen.
will you get her for me. please. i really want to see her. she'll want to see me, too, 'cause we're not in public. just don't tell her folks i'm here.
i wanted to bring you some flowers. they're pretty good ones.
i wanted for you to meet karl, too. he's my new friend. but i feel like i've always known him. i thought you should meet him.
he's gonna be around a lot and i hope you are too, so.
can you go there with us now? me and karl. we could just hang out. karl has some cool books.
but maybe just for awhile --
she said she'd see me later. that's kinda good, right?
he's lyin' mama. he ain't gonna do better.
we've had a real hard life, too, mama.
what you readin'?
seems like doyle's wormed his way back in. mama said he's stayin' over tonight and he's talkin' about movin' in for good. we ain't ever gonna be happy. we'll always be nervous, won't we karl?
i feel sad about karen cross, too. i just make like to myself she loves me. i know better, though. it just feels good to me when i imagine it.
is that right?
you will? for sure?
we'll be on teams, me and you?
way to go, karl. we got a touchdown. that was a good lateral, man. that was just like the wishbone.
we're liable to win if we keep this up. for somebody like you, you sure run fast.
come on, let's kick off to 'em.
i know you could of scored them three touchdowns by yourself instead of throwing 'em over to me.
you're strong though. you let me make them touchdowns so i'd feel good. my daddy used to do that kind of thing.
it don't matter to me about us losin' does it to you?
it was fun, anyhow.
can we play ever' saturday?
yeah, i guess.
karl can stay if he wants to. mama said --
hey, karl. how'd you know to come out here?
just diggin'. i ain't ever gonna be happy now. not with that son of a bitch movin' in for good. i wish me and you and mama could just run away. but she said he would find us wherever we went. he's crazy. sometimes i think it would of been better if i wadn't ever born.
you have to karl. you have to look out for me. you don't let that son of a bitch run you off.
karl, i ain't tryin' to say nothin' bad about you, but why don't you stop doyle when he gets that away? you're older than him. you're strong, too. my daddy wouldn't let him do that to me and mama.
yeah, i guess so. i'm real tired, you know that. a kid my age shouldn't be tired of things.
i care for you, too. but you'll be around, don't say that.
you don't want to give away all your books.
man. thanks. you know when you get a feelin' and you don't know why?
i've got a feelin' today.
like something different. i don't know. you're leavin' ain't you, karl?
you know i would. whatever you want.
okay. i give you my word. is ever'thing gonna be okay? are you all right?
okay.
karl!