well, i reckon what you're a wanting to know is what i'm doing in here. i reckon the reason i'm in here is 'cause i killed somebody. but i reckon what you was a wanting to know is how come me to kill somebody. well, i reckon i'll start at the front and tell you. i lived most of my life out behind my mother and father's house in a little old shed and my daddy'd built for me. they didn't too much want me up there in the house with the rest of 'em. i mostly just set around out there in the shed all the time a lookin' at the ground. it didn't have no floor but i had me a hole dug out to lay down in and a quilt or tow that i put down there. my daddy was a hard workin' man most of his life, not that i can say the same fer myself. i most just set around the shed and tinkered around with a lawn mower or two and went to school off and on from time to time but the children there made quite a bit of sport of me, made fun of me quite a bit. some of 'em roughed me up sometimes so mostly i stayed out back there in the shed. my daddy worked down at the sawmill there, down there at the planer mill for an old man named dixon. old man dixon was a very cruel feller, he didn't treat his employees very well, didn't pay 'em much of a wage, didn't pay my daddy much of a wage, just barely enough to get by on. but i reckon he got by all right, they come out one or the other of 'em, usually my mother, and fed me pretty regular. at least i know he made enough for me to have mustard and biscuits three or four times a week. old man dixon had a boy named jesse dixon. jesse was really more cruel than his daddy. he made quite a bit of sport of me and takened advantage of the little girls around the neighborhood quite a bit. he used to say my mother was a very pretty woman. he said it quite a bit from time to time, when i was at the school house. well, i reckon you want me to get on and tell you what happened so i reckon i'll tell you. i was settin' out in the shed one evenin' not doin' too much, just kindly starin' at the wall and a waitin' fer my mother to come out and give me my bible lesson and i heared a commotion up in the house there so i got up and run up on the screened-in porch there to see what was a goin' on, and i looked in the kitchen window and i seen my mother a layin' there on the floor without any clothes on. and seen jesse dixon a layin' on top of her having his way with her. well, i just seen red. i picked up a kaiser blade that was a layin' there by the screen door, some folks calls it a sling blade, i call it a kaiser blade. it's just a long handle like a axe handle with a long blade on it that's shaped kind of like a banana. sharp on one edge and dull on the other. it's what the highway boys use to cut down weeds and whatnot. i went in the kitchen there and i hit jesse dixon up side the head with it and knocked him off my mother. i reckon that didn't quite satisfy me so i hit him again in the neck with the sharp edge and just plumb near cut his head off. killed him. well, my mother, she jumped up from there and started yellin', "what did you kill jesse fer? what did you kill jesse fer?" well, come to find out my mother didn't really mind what jesse was a doin' to her. i reckon that made me madder than what jesse had made me. i takened the kaiser blade, some folks calls it a sling blade, i call it a kaiser blade and hit my mother up side the head with it an' killed her. some folks has asked me if i had it to do over again would i do the same thing. i don't know, i reckon i would. anyhow, they seen fit to put me in here and here i've been for a great long while. i've learned to read some; took me four years to read the bible. i reckon i understand a good deal of it. it wasn't what i expected in a lot of places. i've slept in a good bed for a great long while. they've seen fit to put me out now. they tell me they're a settin' me free today. anyhow, i reckon that's all you need to know. if you want any more details i reckon i can tell 'em to you. i don't know if that's enough for your newspaper or not.
i don't reckon i got no reason to kill nobody.
thank you.
i reckon i'm gonna have to get used to looking at pretty people.
i reckon i'm gonna have to get used to them lookin' at me, too.
i ain't got nothing but them books.
all right then.
i was kindly wantin' somethin' or 'nother d'eat.
you have any biscuits for sale?
what you got that's good to eat?
what do you like to eat here?
french-fried potaters.
how much you want fer 'em? i'll get some of them i reckon.
give me the big'uns.
what you got in there, warshing?
ain't you got no mama and daddy to tend to it?
how fer you going with them sacks full of warsh?
i'll help you tote 'em if i don't give out first.
karl's my name.
childers.
different ones. one's the bible. one of 'ems a book on christmas. one of 'ems how to be a carpenter.
ain't got nowhere to set 'em down.
i did live there in the state hospital.
i killed some folks quite awhile back. they said i wadn't right in the head and they put me in there in the nervous hospital instead of puttin' me in jail.
yeah.
they told me i was well. they had to turn me loose.
i reckon i feel all right.
i never was much count at it. i never did get picked out fer it.
how does a feller go about gettin' up to the state hospital?
all right then.
i want to come back and stay here.
i reckon i don't care nothin' about bein' a free man. i don't know how to go about it.
naw.
naw. never did know too much of nobody. not to he'p me out anyway.
i'm pretty handy i reckon on lawn mowers and whatnot.
i reckon.
i never was no good with history.
i reckon i can just walk around till the mornin'. or set and read me a book somewhere.
no thank ye.
i don't reckon i know nobody name jerry.
he's a-carryin' me to look fer work in millsburg where i was borned.
coffee makes me a might nervous when i drink it.
yes sir.
yes sir.
thank ye.
i've tinkered around on 'em a little bit.
i like them french-fried potaters.
i don't reckon.
yeah, they's good all right.
they give me fifty dollars when they turned me loose. i spent up some of it on ridin' the bus and eatin' french-fried potaters.
all right then.
yeah it is. your name's frank.
you told me to come by.
i ain't no good at it. i just come by.
all right then.
i don't want to worry your mama with company.
i was kindly needin' to do some tradin'. reckon they sell toothpaste?
pleased to know y'all.
naw, i don't believe you have. i don't reckon i never been in here. this store didn't used to be here.
i's horned and raised here up till i's twelve year old.
what's that you say?
they turned me loose from the state hospital.
i reckon mr. woolridge got me hired on to work for bill cox's outfit.
not really to speak of.
naw. didn't have too much. enough to scrape by on, i reckon.
my mother's dead. my daddy's s'posed to be around still. he don't want to have nothin' to do with me though.
he never did want to. i figure he ain't changed his mind much.
you don't need to know all of that. you're just a boy. you need to think about good thoughts while you're still a boy. they'll be plenty of time for the other.
how come her to keep bein' girlfriends and all with him if he's mean to her?
yeah, i remember you a-tellin' me that.
why did he do that, reckon.
yeah, i did.
two people.
i thought they was.
i growed up and got taught it ain't right to kill nobody.
that boy wants me to.
i fixed it. hit's a workin' pretty good.
yes sir.
that boy wants me to.
naw, i ain't.
quite a spell, i reckon.
i done et just a little bit ago.
i reckon i can stand to eat a little somethin' or 'nother at noontime tomorrow. bill cox generally gets me a box of french fried potaters. but i reckon he can lay off doin' it tomorrow.
tolerable, i reckon.
this and that. toothpaste and whatnot.
different ones. the bible's one of 'em.
a good deal of it, i reckon. can't understand all of it.
i ain't never used no hatchet that i remember.
you ort not to talk that way. you're just a boy.
he ort not to talk that away to you neither. he ain't no count. he's mean to you and your mama. yore mama and that feller that's carryin' me to get somethin' d'eat's gonna be back here directly.
i reckon if you want me to. i got some of that potted meat and sodie crackers left over if you want some.
i reckon it tastes pretty good to me.
i like the way you talk.
i reckon not.
not funny, ha, ha, funny queer.
i've heard it said that way.
i wouldn't never hurt them.
i was thinkin' i could use me another helpin' of these potaters.
before that i was thinkin' it'd be good if i could get another three or four cans of that potted meat if you got any extry.
childers.
i reckon.
no, ma'am. coffee kindly makes me nervous when i drink it.
i didn't aim to.
no ma'am.
two fellers was on a bridge a takin' a leak and one feller says the water was cold and the other said it was deep water. one of 'em came from arkansas, i believe.
do you reckon you can make me some biscuits?
just whenever you take a notion to. i don't aim to put you out.
yes ma'am.
mustard's good on 'em to me.
thank ye.
i wouldn't mind a havin' supper.
i like frank. he's a good boy. me and him's made friends.
hit ain't right for me to keep from tellin' you how come me to be put in the state hospital.
i killed my mother and a old boy name jesse dixon. i thought they was a-doin' wrong. i was about your boy's age. they say i'm well now from it.
yes ma'am. i like your garage. i wouldn't never hurt you or your boy. i'd lay my hand on the bible and say the same thing.
yes sir.
my history.
i told 'em about it. they know i'm well. that mizz wheatley made me some biscuits.
that boy, he's my friend. he likes the way i talk and i like the way he talks.
hit ain't got no gas in it.
i reckon.
i ain't read 'em yet except two or three of 'em. i can't understand a lot of what i try to read. my mind, hit wonders off to somethin' else when i try to read.
yes ma'am, i reckon.
i like walkin' quite a bit from time to time.
all right then.
i reckon.
i ain't really thought about it too much i don't reckon.
thank ye.
a blister shore can hurt.
flowers is pretty. i've always thought that.
yeah.
that gal that made employee of the month give 'em to me for awalkin' with her.
naw. you can look at all my books you want to.
that's than un on christmas i was tellin' you about.
yeah.
all right then.
yeah, i reckon they did. hit like to tore me up when i read about that pore little cripple boy.
hit was right thoughty of her.
all right then.
yeah, i recollect it.
if you want me to.
i bet he will. i got a little money if he don't. i'll get 'em for ye.
they ort to. you're a good boy.
naw.
that's real good. you ort not to if ye ain't married to somebody. bible tells you that much. hit tells some things that don't seem right too, i reckon. i guess a feller ort to foller it close as he can, though. you don't touch yourself, do you?
pull on your works. your privates.
yes sir. you ort not know that language.
you ort not to pull on yourself that away.
he ain't no count.
i don't reckon i know.
naw.
i had one there for little bit. hit didn't get old enough to play with.
yeah.
hit was borned a little too early on. my mother and father made hit come too early some way or other. i reckon they changed their mind about havin' another'n. i was about six or eight year old then and they didn't care too much for me so i reckon they didn't need somethin' else to worry 'em with.
my daddy come to the shed out back and got me and said throw this here away and handed me a towel with somethin' in it. i went for the trash barrel there and opened up the towel to see 'cause they was a noise and somethin' movin' in it. hit was bloody-like around that towel. hit was a little ol' bitty baby, no bigger than a squirrel.
yes sir. right then it was.
a little ol' boy.
i didn't feel right about doin' that. i takened a shoe box from there in the shed and emptied out some screwdrivers and nuts and warshers from it and put the little feller in that and buried him in the corner of the yard there. that seemed more proper to me, i reckon.
i heared it cryin' a little through that box.
i wadn't but six or eight. i reckon i didn't know what to do. i didn't know how to care for no baby. mama and daddy didn't want him. they learned me to do what they told me to. these days i figure it might of been best to give him right back to the good lord right off the bat anyhow.
hits been hard thinkin' about it. they ain't a day goes by i don't think about it. i kindly have a picture of it up in my head that i see. hit makes me sad, too. i have bad thoughts on it. i wished they was somethin' i could of did, too. shouldn't no bad things happen to childern. all the ol' bad things ort to be saved up for folks that's growed up, the way i see it. i shouldn't of told you about that. a boy ort not hear about such things. it just kindly come out.
i've studied about it. the bible says not to or you end up goin' to hades. some folks calls it hell, i call it hades.
yes sir, i reckon it does.
no ma'am.
i reckon.
i could shore use some. thank ye.
readin' on this book on how to work carpentry. i aim to learn how to build things out of wood one of these times. i've always been partial to wood buildin's and cabinets and whatnot. these drawin's they got here don't make no sense to me so far. you seem like yore tails a'draggin' a might. you got somethin' wrong with ye?
i don't reckon i know. i ain't found no way yet and i'm three or four times as old as you. might be that's just the way folks is.
make believin' always made me feel good too from time to time.
bill cox is goin' to a funeral for a mister turner tomorrow and a closin' up shop early.
i'll play ball with ye. i reckon if neither one of us is no count it won't make no difference.
yeah.
yessir.
i dern near had me a touchdown till them boys got a-hold of me there so i figured i better give it off to you. i seen you over there follerin' me.
them boys was tryin' to pull me down pretty hard.
no sir.
i wadn't thinkin' about nothin' else just like you told me i'd do.
if i ain't too stove up. i ain't like you. i'm old and give out. i'm proud of ye.
i'm ye boy.
i'm ye oldest boy name karl.
they turned me aloose from the nervous hospital. said i was well.
i got hired to work for a mr. cox fixin' lawnmowers and whatnot.
that grass out in the yard's all growed up. i figured i might cut it fer ye.
i learned to read some. i've read on the bible quite a bit. i don't understand all of it, but i believe i understand a good deal of it. them stories mama and you told me ain't in there. you ort not to of done that to ye boy. i've studied on killin' you. but i don't reckon they's no reason fer it if all you're gonna do is set there in that chair. you'll be dead soon enough i reckon and the world'll be shut of ye. you ort not to of killed my brother. he ort to have had a chance to grow up. sometimes he would of had fun.
little feller.
i want to be baptized.
i don't rightly know. i just kindly woke up a-holdin' it.
yes ma'am. i like a fried chicken leg.
don't hit that boy no more.
no ma'am. i'm a'goin' off sommers.
frank, he went off, too. he ain't gonna be in there when you get indoors.
he wanted to go off and play, i reckon. you go in there and you and that doyle eat ye dinner. you don't have to worry yourself none.
ma'am?
you're a good mama to that boy. you care for him. you work hard fer him to take care of him. you light him up in his eyes, i've seen it. he wouldn't know what to do without ye.
you've been real good to me, too. it ain't ever'body that'd make biscuits in the middle of the night. you and that boy has give me a good feelin'.
thank ye. i'm just getting around to tellin' you, but i fixed your warshin' machine.
i knowed you'd be here. what are you a-doin' digging with that stob?
i'm glad of it you was borned. i reckon i ain't gonna be there in the garage no more.
you're just a boy. you ort not to use that sort of language.
that feller's a whole sight meaner than me. he'd just whup the tar out of me.
i'm tired, too, frank. if i ain't around no more, it don't mean i don't care fer ye. i care for ye a good deal. i care for you more than anybody they is. we made friends right off the bat.
hit don't make no difference where i was to be. we'll always be friends. there ain't no way to stop that. i aim for you to have these books.
maybe you can make more sense out of them than i can. i made you a little old book marker and stuck it in that book on christmas.
i aim fer you to have 'em.
yes sir.
reckon what kind of a feelin'?
will ye do somethin' for me if i ast you to?
don't go home tonight and stay with that doyle. he's got it in for ye tonight. i got me a feelin', too. feels like to me you ort not be there in that house with him liquored up and mean. ye mama neither. when you get up from here, i want you to go to that feller's house. your mama's friend. i want you to give me your word on it.
ever'thing's okay, boy. i kindly want to put my arm around ye for a minute and then i'm gonna go on and leave here.
i ain't a-stayin'. i need to ast you fer a favor.
this evenin' i want you to go get mizz wheatley and that frank and have them stay with you tonight.
that dern doyle is in a bad way again with that drinkin' and bein' mean to folks. will you give me your word you'll do it?
naw, not yet. i want ye to give this to mizz wheatley. hit ain't much, but maybe there's a little somethin' to hep out. hits what i've earned fixin' lawnmowers and whatnot fer bill cox.
i don't reckon you have to go with women to be a daddy to a boy. you've been real square dealin' with me. the bible says two men ort not lay together. but i'll bet you the good lord wouldn't send nobody like you to hades. some folks calls it hell, i call it hades. that boy lives inside of his own heart. hits an awful big place. you take care of that boy.
how does a feller go about gettin' ahold of the police?
what numbers do you punch?
i aim to kill you with it.
yes ma'am. i need the police over here at the wheatley house. i've killed somebody with a mower blade. yes ma'am, i'm right sure of it. i hit him two good whacks. that second time just plumb near cut his head in two. hits a little old yeller house right on the corner of marigold street and some other street. they's a red pickup truck out front says doyle hargraves construction on it. i'll be a settin' here waitin' on ye. beside sendin' the police, doyle said you might want to send a ambulance or a hearse. thank ye.
they was a boy. we made friends.
it's too big.
don't say nothin' about that boy.
fact the bidness, don't you say another word to me. i ain't listenin' to you no more.