okay, stay right where you are. we have a knife.
okay, mister, look, i'm gonna dial 911 and you're not gonna move. zoe, hand me the phone.
yeah? i don't think so. my daughter's in the city and you what, wandered in here,like high on ecstasy?. shit. i dialed 8-1-1.
back off. she was in the israeli army. she can break you in half. zoe can't believe she just said that -- no truth in it whatsoever.
yes. i have an intruder in my house. 29 daniels lane, sagaponack.
you're dating my daughter?
oh, god. i'm sorry. false alarm. yeah, no, i'm sure. no, he's not a burglar he's dating my daughter.
i do. i thought i'd do it out here.
awkward.
yeah, well, the world's nuts, i don't know the man. . .
honey, does harry have a robe?
no, no, no. don't be silly. uh, look, here's what we'll do. zoe and i will leave. we took a great walk on the beach, we'll go into town for lunch. you two stay. harry, apologize about the near arrest.
i don't think i was exactly "macho"
yeah. okay. whatever.  marin watches. dying.
i mean, well, i can "handle" it.  the women all look to harry. he looks at marin. she's hard to resist.
except he's older than her father. i can't even look at them. what is she doing with a guy that age?
five years ago, so. . twenty-three.
is that supposed to mean dave walked out on me? why do people assume when you break up after twenty years that the guy's the one who wanted out? just because once we broke up he shtupped everything that moved.
bonjour je veux une partie de votre pate merveilleux et de votre meilleur fromage absolu de chevre.
marin, au cas ou nous prende un desset ou devrions jefaire quelgue chose?
it's an epidemic. then erica notices who's next to her at the cheese counter. she sees her sister, zoe, reading a cheese label with her glasses on and next to zoe are two sad looking old women in their eighties with their arms linked. almost woozy, erica is snapped out of it when she is handed her package.
woops. sorry.
so, harry.  what do you do?
oh, really? which record company?
"drive by" records??? is that a joke? what is that?
hip hop? oh, rap? oh, right. well. okay. that's.  "interesting".
i'm sorry, but, look, you know i hate rap, i mean i do. it's sort of violent and crude for my taste, not to mention just a tad misogynistic.
yeah, but come on, how many words can you rhyme with 'bitch'? erica places her groceries on the check out counter.
well, the thing with me is that i'm about 90% hard word, 10% talent and so far the talent part hasn't exactly kicked in yet.
about? well, i'm not exactly sure which is a bit of a problem, but so far it's about a divorced woman, a writer, she's this high strung, over-amped, controlling, know it all neurotic. . . who's incredibly cute and lovable. it's a comedy.
ever been married, harry?
wow. now why do you think that is?
hey, if it ain't broke.
wait. i read that article. that was you? you were once engaged to somebody big. who was it? not joan collins.  .wait. . carly simon?
i'm impressed.
yes i do.
no. i'm sure it was a compliment.
you're not serious? she's diane sawyer, she goes into caves in afghanistan with a shmahtah on her head. who cares about her legs?
any chance of you stopping here?
what are you, possessed? how could you say those things?
then you know what? write a dissertation on it, don't announce to the world that i stay in night after night after night and by the way, one night after night would have been enough. did you ever realize, i stay "in" as part of my job. why do you think i married the director of my plays? he was the only man i ever saw. anyway, i like staying in and i like this time in my life. why do i have to defend myself? m i was married for 20 years. i'm done. arin enters carrying more dishes.
honey, what are you doing with this guy? he's old, he's chauvinistic.
he's fun? how is he fun? he's like.  .wrong.
not this wrong.
what does that mean he owns ten different companies? he can't commit, that's what that means. not that, god forbid, i want him to commit.
what? his car doesn't have headlights?
wait. i have no right to get this nuts. he's your friend. not mine. i love you.
please. none. they hear music coming from marin's bedroom.
i don't care.  oy. marvin gaye. . . erica turns on the garbage disposal. zoe sings along, "let's get it on". , erica shoots her a look, turns off the garbage disposal, doing the dishes with vigor.
i know she'll never see him after this weekend. she can't commit either. then they hear marin giggling.
oh, this is nuts.  erica covers her ears with her hands. then they hear marin scream "moooooommmmmmmmmmmm!!!!"
did she say, mom?
does your chest hurt?
call 911. tell them to send an ambulance. . . marin hesitates.
marin! now!
mouth to mouth.
you fucking guy.
he's gonna make it. don't worry.
are you nuts? you go out with a guy who's so old he's having a heart attack!
thank you. . .
oh, man.  this was. intense. erica wipes away a tear. nothing could surprise her more.
no, no i'm just.  no. i'm erica barry. . he was having dinner at our house. i just met him this afternoon.
yes.
yes.
really? oh, thanks.  this is my daughter, marin, my sister, zoe.
oh. . .hey. . .ew. . .hot. thanks.
yeah. sure. this is very nice of you.
i think some were written before your time. there are some marin's never even seen.
okay, now that's a perfect a guy for you. he's adorable.
me? he's thirty years old.
stop it. he likes my work. not me. it's insane. i would never. shut. up. just then, harry stumbles into the corridor in his hospital
harry, you have to get back in bed.
ugh. look at this, even unconscious, he's a lech. the nurses rush out and peel harry off erica.
whoa! whoa! whoa! everyone grabs for harry as he falls out of frame and the
i don't know.
don't get pissy. . you say that 'cause this, of course, would never happen to you. .1 come out here for peace and quiet and suddenly i'm a character in a kaufman and hart play. and the phone does not stop. and it's never for me! lowell enters with the bed tray.
that's fine lowell, i'll take that.
no, no, i'll take it. no problem. erica takes the bed tray as lowell exits.
the man does not know my name and i'm doing his dishes. lexi enters, all 5'10" of her. dave suddenly looks alive. she carries an empty water glass.
tylenol yes. .
where should i put this? it's an empty water glass. what are the choices?
thank you.
i haven't written a word. i'm on page twelve and the first eleven pages stink.
wait wait wait wait. you're leaving, zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. and i'm supposed to stay here with him alone?
the morning? that's nineteen hours from now.  okay, i can handle this. i'm just going to get into a zen' place, play music, cook, write, focus.
yes. maybe that's a good thing.
coq au vin.
part of my play takes place in paris so i'm hoping this helps me think. i'm hopin'. how you feeling?
everyone bumps into that ottoman. harry appreciates the thought. before it has time to become awkward, the phone rings.
yeah, no. it's fine. hello. yes, he is.
look, harry, it's not like in any stretch of the imagination, i think you're all that right for my daughter but i don't really appreciate hearing you on the phone with other women. it's like i'm an accomplice to you cheating, it's.
she does? i mean, fine, it's none of my business. but.
great? and that's what? why are you proud of that?
my daughter is confused when it comes to men.
should i just call the ambulance now? harry shoots her a look and places the salt shaker back on the table.
what am i doing? she throws a piece of paper over the phone so she can't see it. she clicks on her aol icon and is told: aol cannot connect. line busy. she's pissed. then, worse, she smells something.
okay, here's the thing. i really don't want to play the part of the uptight nurse to your bad boy patient. if you want to have another heart attack, go ahead, it's your life but i have work to do and i don't have time to make another run to the hospital because you're filling your already clogged arteries with smoke but more importantly, i'd rather not have my house smell like a pool hall.
what? do i hhave to say what?
and what effect do you think you're having on me?
i only need about four hours a night.
me either. i wish i could. . but.  want me to shut these, sun comes in pretty strong in the morning.
who you talking to at this hour?
and that's not past her bedtime?
good night, harry.
now seriously, why do you care what i wear?
i like them. i've always liked them. i'm just a turtleneck kinda gal.
no.
not lately.
what are you doing?!?
back here???
good bye? you're leaving? that's not good.
fired? you just started.
what do you mean, not needed? of course we need her. she's gonna take care of you and feed you and.
yeah. how 'bout we never talk about that? i was at the drugstore. your prescriptions were ready. they said take these two with food and this one without.
i think that's talkin' about it.
yip. there you go.
goin' to work, harry.
so, you're saying, he's not ready to travel at all? not even by plane? train?
well, he fired the nurse after an hour, now says he doesn't need one. he's a bit of a workout.  .yeah.
oh, fine. .i'm fine, i'm.
oh, shoot, hold on.  hello. hey. oh, hi.
no, i'm finally getting to it.  erica sees julian sliding a slip of paper over to her. looks over at it. it's a piece of paper from his prescription pad. on it is written. have dinner with me tonight? erica looks up at him. stunned. j
w-what about the patient?
listen, i've decided to get over the whole "you saw me naked" thing. so, we don't have to deal with it anymore. okay?
i know. you want to come in?
that would be wishful thinking. harry enters cautiously and curiously.
you up to that?
that means you don't want me to?
oh, well, i would but. i don't usually like to break once i've started writing so i probably shouldn't, not that a little fresh air would hurt but.
you know my name.
that can't be possible.
you were the road manager for a group i sorta never heard of, started your own record label at 29, sold it at 45, then started buying and selling boutique companies then invested in a small record company which you turned into the 2nd largest hip hop label in the world.
i know, but the truth is, it goes fast doesn't it?
i know, i'm crazy, i just think they're so beautiful.
i don't only pick up the white ones.
i pick up only the white ones? oh, god, what does that mean? i'm controlling, unadventurous, what?
so can i ask you something harry? what's with all the young girls? i mean, what's the story there, really?
you just like to travel light? oh, please, what the hell does that mean?
you mean falls for that.
if that's what you want.  a non threatening woman, who won't get your number, you get to run the show.
of course it's getting a little rocky, we're talking about you.
you okay?
well, yeah, as a matter of fact. with your doctor.
no, he's totally too young for me. but we're just having dinner. it's not a date.
well, i'll tell him, but i doubt that he thinks of it that way.
hello.  both guys turn at once. she looks beautiful, wearing a dress, probably the sexiest one she owns. no turtleneck tonight. julian walks to her, kisses her on the cheek.
thank you. behind julian's back harry gives erica the 'ok' sign.
we ready?
well that wouldn't leave us too many options would it?
-- so, when the land came up, i snatched it and the house was built in record time and.  it's like a thousand degrees in here.
really? i never heard that one. julian, how old are you, like.
thirty-three.-okay, so, i'm twenty years older than you. more than twenty years older than you.
thank you but you know, i'm not sure where you were headed with that thing you were just saying, but in terms of us, you just want to be friends, right?
well, then, what is it that you.  want to be?
i was embarrassed just getting dressed to see you.
oh yes i would. but, you don't like girls your own age?
i suppose but, see, i don't date all that much or all that well.
now you're kidding, right? no, guys my age, the ones i've met. well, i'm not that regular a person and they really like regular.
yes i have. many times.
it's just. soap.
i don't know. i got it at the market.
no, swear to god, i'm not.
i'm back.
it was interesting. so.  good night.
how does he know everything! she hesitates then types: actually am a little hungry but, i'm in my pjs. he writes: me too. pajama party? she stares at the screen biting her lip. he does the same.
this is pretty unusual for me. i'm not used to having sleepovers.
really? with your social life?
okay, good to know. so, what are you hungry for?
oh, god, what's the difference what i think. i can't imagine what you think of me. okay, so.  pasta, left over coq au vin, turkey sandwich or grilled cheese.
totally what i wanted. blueberries?
sometimes i miss it. at night.  but not that much anymore. was one of us just saying something interesting?
oh, right, but you don't have to answer that.
i mean, if you had an opinion, i'd be curious but'
oh, 'cause the phone doesn't ring as much at night and the "alone" thing happens at night and sleeping by myself took some getting used to. but i got the hang of it. you gotta sleep in the middle of the bed. it's absolutely not healthy to have a side when no one has the other side. she starts mixing the batter.
ughhhhhhhhhh.  .
i'm sorry. it's just. i'm sorry.
such as?
so you think i'm inhuman.
but cold and distant. like i'm frozen in some painting.
 so i can't decide if you hate me or if maybe you're the only person who ever got me.
hello? marin arrives in the doorway in a knockout of a dress holding a bag from zabars. she looks fresh, vibrant, sexy.
what are you doing here at this hour?
don't be silly. you know i never sleep and this one doesn't sleep either. it's.  .what's in the bag?
but high sodium.
so, mar, now that you're here, why don't you finish the pancakes and i'll get back to work.
honey, i don't know.
i really am gonna do a little work. . . you two catch up. . . and just flip these hin like two seconds.
i, uh, i don't think i. i.  gorgeous, next to him no. i don't.
why? what do you mean?
in the two days you've been gone?
true, but you know he is.
it's unnerving.
i can't handle it. wouldn't want to handle it.
yes. lower your voice. haven't you?
hello.
who is this? julian stops short.
i'm kidding!
okay. yes. that's seems fine.
stop that. how'd he take it?
that's impossible, he wouldn't.
hello.
i heard.
no, i think she really did meet someone else.
how 'bout i bring you out some lunch and a couple of blood
i'm sorry.
i just kissed you.
i know that one was me.
i'm so glad they still work. i haven't used them for kissing in so long. they've been more like for wearing lipstick and whistling and.  he kisses her quiet. relieved, she finally fully kisses him back. a big gorgeo~s kiss.
and you didn't even take via-
yes.
but so far the kissing is spectacular. i'm not grading you, just mentioning it. brilliant. he tries to kiss her neck but the turtleneck is in the way. he pulls it down, but it's tight and it's, difficult to get to her.
cut it off.  please. what a brilliant invitation. he takes the scissors and starts cutting from the bottom, right past her belly, up her torso, between her breasts. the turtleneck falls open from the center. when he reaches her neck, he gently tears at it and it easily rips apart and there she is. he takes her in.
menopause.
i think we should take your blood pressure. his head pops back into frame. what?????
it's irresponsible not to.
yeah. so you're lucky. erica grabs harry's glasses, reads the results.
one twenty over eighty!!! baby!
oh my god, i do like sex. camera twirls around and we find harry, sprawled nearby, catching his breath, satisfied, stunned, scared.
wow. so this is what you're supposed to do on a rainy afternoon.  harry smiles. he's trying to be his debonair self but something's off. he's very aware of himself. they lie there quietly for a second when erica begins to tear up. harry slowly, nervously turns to her.
i really thought i was sorta closed for business. just never expected this.
me too. that's the perfect word.
let's not brag about this to our doctor, okay?
monogamous? please, i hardly know you. he looks at her wondering if she's for real. she smiles as she wipes a small tear from the corner of her eye. then he kisses her.
awwwww,. . .
hello? i mean. hello. hello.
we're fine. why? what's going on?
oh, that. oh, no, we're fine.
absolutely not. no. that is not going on now.
i have to go.
yes and thank you for the wonderful opportunity. marin screammmmmmmmmmms. erica flips the phone shut, looks to harry, embarassed.
am i interested in buying aluminum siding. . .
i just always wanted to write a play that ended there.
people need romance like that. and if someone like me doesn't write it, where they gonna get it? real life?
it's a great city to stay up all night in. when's your birthday?
mine's in january. so, how 'bout if we still know each other by then we go to paris for our birthdays.
oh. sorry. you just.  . i have no idea how to do this. be intimate but not. the color is draining from your face. okay, look, i'm gonna pee,take one of your blood pressure pills then when i get back, let's not talk anymore.
that's somethin'.
let me sleep? oh, right. you usually send the girls home. . .but i am home.  so. okay.
hey, it's perfectly. .  whatever. good night. this was. this was a great night. for me.
not really but it looks like it says eleven.
it can't be, that would mean we slept eight hours.
okay, just stay still, here's the clicker. you know you have a doctor's appointmqnt in an hour.
i'll make us some coffee, get you your pills, whip us up some french toast, i have ,the best maple syrup ever. '
you are woman to love. what the hell does that mean?
hey. what'd he say?
no, really, what'd he say. how are you?
here goes what?
you knew they had karaoke?
here you go, you can have these back now. i confiscated them your first night here.
try not to smoke them.  and i packed you a sandwich, just in case your blood sugar got low. and some of that iced-tea you like, and a nonfat, low cholesterol cookie. and a peach.
something to remember me by. harry hugs her. erica awkwardly throws her arms around him and kisses him, then kisses him better. he's moved by her.
and hey, we'll always have paris.
hey, your heart attack could be the best thing that ever happened to me.
i love you too. if that's what you said. i don't know if it ends in 'ya' if it's an official i love you but.  harry expression looks something like he's in pain. then. . .
neither are you.
what's wrong?
who's he marrying?
hold on, i'm losing you. okay, so you'll let harry know i'll be. in the city tonight and he can reach me on my cell. if he wants.  okay? aw shit. hello?
honey, if he's replacing anyone, it's me. and all the statistics say divorced men almost always remarry. that's just the way they're built.
the drama in life is what makes you strong.
since when do you take an antidepressant?
yes. me.
anything bubee.
absolutely not. no.
i've had a big week dave, forgot how these slip right down. i'm fine. so, kristen, where'd you go to.  --medical school? excuse me.
i went to school in philadelphia too.
yes. it's rabbit you hate. i'll give you a list of everything he likes and dislikes.
i didn't mean those things, dave. she did go to medical school.
i will tell you this. dave has one truly great love in his life.
his balls.
what? it's not true? the man can not watch tv or read without the hand down the pants-- here's my advice after 21 years i say who cares, they're his balls,let him enjoy 'em.
yeah, fine. erica looks at her menu then her eyes go right back to harry. his date is laughing at something harry is saying. harry leans in to her, whispers something to her. she touches his hand.
hello.  harry. hello.
oh, god, i'm so stupid.  she picks up her pace, starts running. her cell phone rings.
hello? intercut harry and erica on their cells, a block apart.
harry, i gotta go.
yeah, she looks like a buddy kind of a girl. erica reaches a corner, can't get across, turns the corner. harry arrives next to her.
look, harry, here's the problem. i really like you.
yeah, but i love you like you. i do. i love you. harry swoons and not in a good way.
-- did you know i called you seven hours ago?
uh-huh. . .
what was i thinking?
harry, i won't be good at this.
acting like i don't care.
the truth doesn't have versions.
yeah. mine too.
i don't want my bearings. i've had my bearings my whole fucking life. i felt something with you that.  oh, you don't want to-
i felt something with you, i didn't know really existed. you know what that's like after a twenty year marriage? to feel something for another person that's so off the charts, that - okay, not your problem. this is why i'm not good in relationships. you know writers are like teachers, those who can - do, those who can't - write romantic comedies where this does not happen in the third act. and it certainly does not happen to a 55 year old woman. in the play i'll be 36 so it won't be as pathetic. i'm just too old to feel crushed.i've written this feeling but i never really got it. you know what this is? this is heart broken. how's that for impervious?
i just wish it had lasted more than a week.
that's a horrible thing to say. the life i had before i met you. i knew how to do that, could do that forever. now look at me. what do i do with all this?
what for? i saw your friend you were having dinner with, if that's what you want, it's never going to work with me. look at me. i'm a middle aged woman, don't let this brown hair fool you, i don't have a real brown hair on my head, i'm almost all grey. that would freak you out, wouldn't it? and i have. high cholesterol and my back hurts every morning and i'm post menopausal and i have osteoperosis and i'm sure arthritis is just around the corner and i know you've seen my vericose veins. let's face it man, that's not quite the buzz you're lookin' for. a taxi pulls up.
and you know what? everyday, i'm gettin' older. . just like you. erica opens the back door of the taxi.
that's what you have to say after all this? you don't know how to be a boyfriend.
are we done?
wakes up. as soon as her eyes open, she bursts into tears. while in the shower, the crying never stops. while she eats breakfast, a downpour. running on the beach, she's wailing. back at the "computer, she's sobbing as her hands fly over the keys. an actual boo hoo can be heard. at night, laptop in bed, erica writes, eating a bagel, wearing harry's glasses and a pair of wrinkled pajamas, french music plays in the bg. at this point, she doesn't even" pay attention to her tears, just wipes and types when out of nowhere she receives an instant message from harry. he writes: do i hear french music? shocked, she sits up, tries to fix her hair.
yeah, it's my new thing. i've gotten abnormally great at it.
seems i gotta learn how to do that love 'em and leave 'em stuff.
not really. sometimes. not right now.
marin, that theory.  how can i put this so your feelings won't get hurt. it's just so crazy, it makes me want to screammmmmmmmmmm!!!!
listen to me.  you cannot hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out and maybe you'll become unglued. that's not a way to live.
no. this was bad. but for the three days it was good, it was electrifying. marin's eyes fill up.
i think you must consider the possibility that we are more alike than you realize. i let someone in and i had the time of my life.
i know. and bubbee, i say this from the deepest part of my heart. . .  what the fuck are you waiting "for?
julian, i hope you know i'm mortified by my behavior. i was going to get in touch with you, send you a note or something.
i'm embarrassed. i just haven't been myself lately. what can i say?
i am sorry.
kiss you? ulian nods.
you'll forgive me if i kiss' you?
it is?
no, it's about me.
a guy like you is in it but he's not you.
haven't totally decided. he can live or he can die.
death. it's funnier.
he's sort of a schmuck who screwed around with our heroine, so it won't be too sad.
i just went where the story took me. it's a work of fiction, harry. really. just stuff i made up.
harry, he's not you. he's a version of the truth of you. so to speak.
right. we now hear louis armstrong's la vie en rose play throughout the theater. the beach backing is 'raised and an eiffel tower backing is lowered behind them. they both try to ignore the music, but it's impossible.
i don't know, we're just goofy when it comes to love.  look, harry, if it's all right with you, i'd like to be friends
fine. i understand.
i'm friends with my ex-husband, but then again, we didn't just have sex.
then what was it? love to know.
you don't want to be friends.
i think i'm mad at you too.
-- you've worried about me?
well, doll, i'm doing fine. so you don't have to work that shift anymore. again, the stage manager.
you did?
you mean we're not bumping into each other? you came here to see me?
well, uh, i mean, i'm just.
you want a glass of wine or something?
oh, okay. neither is sure where to go. cheek? lips? he lands on her chin. .not what he wanted, but he takes a seat across from her. she looks at him - utterly speechless.
that's true, but, harry, i haven't heard from you in six months.
good, 'cause i'm not mad at you anymore either.
thank you.
it's been quite a ride. funny, i thought maybe i'd hear from you when it opened. where've you been?
oh, i'm sorry.
i should have told you he was coming, but i was so engrossed in your story.
you do.
i'll open it later.  harry rises, reaches for his coat.
harry, stay.
i'm in paris, the second hand smoke will kill you anyway.
i like that about me.
now, if i were writing this, this is where i'd write, 'an awkward moment' .
i have no idea.
me too.  they each take out each other's glasses and put them on. erica points to harry wearing her glasses and laughs.
you know how long i've been looking for those?
he went back to the hotel.
he said when he saw me with you, he knew i was still in love with you. what do you have to say about that?
why'd you come here, harry?
okay, this is the best birthday ever.
okay.