pay attention!
it's no secret that the evil canadian federation has scored major victories all over the united state. we have brought you here because you ar america's best, and last hope.
oh.  apparently you're not the best, you're simply the last. anyway, let's strategize.  map!
our sources have told us that the canadians might try to attach tomorrow's uso show and stop us from executing terrance and phillip.
now each battalion has a specific code- name and mission. battalion 5, raise your hands-
you will be the all-important first defense wave, which we will call 'operation human shield'.
now keep in mind, 'operation human shield' will suffer heavy losses. but don't lose your spirit men! stay until the bitter end. battalion 14?
right, you are 'operation get behind the darkies'. you will follow battalion 5 here-
-and try not to get killed for god's sake. are there any questions men?
yes soldier?
i don't listen to hip-hop.
if you somehow live, we will regroup on this hill outside--
now what's wrong with this thing?
fucking windows 98!
get gates in here!!!
alright men, get lots of rest, and prepare thyselves for battle!
wait!!
we have just captured some canadian sympathizers!
we also have a canadian spy who was hiding out in south park!!
they are canadian sympathizers and they must be dealt with accordingly!
listen mothers, you're the ones that started all this. don't get all emotional now!
we begin with terrance and phillip!!! throw the switch!!!
alright men!!! fall into formation! "human shield" up front then "operation get behind the darkies"!!!
remember, human shield! protect our tanks and planes, too!
holy mother of johosephat.
what the-