when you hear thunder.
god is bowling.
i'm from akron.
i'm looking for a man.
a bowler.
i'm not here to bowl.
i'm looking for somebody.
i'm looking for buzz fazeli.
some unfinished business.
you guys got something going on downstairs?
basement bingo?
let go of my bag.
i said, let go of my bag.
tell your little pal to let go.
where can i find buzz fazeli?
it belonged to my dad.
is mr. fazeli in please?
i'm a bowler.
theo.
i'm not on the tour this year.
well, mr. fazeli, the bowling congress says i'm a thorn in their side.
they suspended me.
it wasn't really my fault.
they suspended me for 100 years.
i can appeal in five. i was hoping you could help me mr. fazeli.
i need a sponsor to get my sanction card back. where i come from, you're the king.
i've never had orange whips, i'm from akron.
remember the finals in akron in '59? you had a seven-ten split in the final frame.
ten thousand to one, but you pegged it. the toughest shot on the last frame.
my mom was there. she told me about it. the 'fazeli split.'
thanks.
it's mine.
grace skinner.
she's my mom.
i'm your son. you're a hard father to find.
grace skinner fazeli, you must remember her?
you knew her. you married her in 1963.
i got a right. you're my father.
99 years, 241 days, 15 hours, and 20 minutes of no bowling. alfie shuffles up to the self-serve island and begins wiping it down.
yeah, but it didn't go so good. he wasn't the man i thought he'd be. theo is trying to affix the lid on his cup, but his hands are trembling, spilling some of the coffee.
maybe i should have left the ball in the car.
i'm sorry about zeus, millie.
i couldn't kill buzz. i need his help. theo helps millie load suitcases into the trunk of her car.
he's my father, millie.
where can i find him?
millie left to stay with her sister in ronkonkoma.
what are you doing over at the lanes that's so dangerous, buzz?
she thinks someone's trying to kill you.
theo.
what's your specialty?
then i'll have the number four with one of your finest whips.
uh. over easy.
putt-putt golf?
the small ball.
not for me. miniature golf's for pansies.
maybe i could bowl in japan.
i don't know no buzz fazeli.
he's my dad.
i'm coming with you.
do those two work for your dad or mine?
do you know where they're taking him?
get your hands off me, you moron.
what the fuck is this?
it looks like dwarf bowling.
dwarf bowling's illegal.
you said it would be unethical to help me. you call dwarf bowling ethical!
you have no right to call yourself a bowler. buzz slaps theo in the face.
i'm your blood.
you knew she was pregnant.
don't say that about my mom!
fuck you and fuck bowling.
i don't need the stinking pro-tour.
hello.
i'm not here to - i can't.
i came here to have a word with your dad.
business.
having a legend for a dad isn't all it's cracked up to be.
you know who i am?
you might say i'm at the top of their shit list.
what's with the bad air between you two, mr. kastle?
it's very. clean.
that's some pinfall. almost a 133 average. her ball's flat, she needs to work on her spin control.
and the dwarf bowling?
nice set-up.
what if he wants to get out?
what ever happened to just bowling?
i like the sport the way it is.
how mr. kastle?
why would you help me?
i could do that.
this is a vicious cycle.
isn't this technically a scooter?
kinda tough on the butt.
where did your brother escape from?
what does he do?
whoa.
no thanks, i don't hookah.
don't tell me, john.
theo. howzitgoin.
how's that?
uh. over easy.
so, you're the pinman around here?
no, not at all.
the ladies in akron call them thigh- ticklers.
i'd rather you didn't.
not while i'm in training.
no. do you?
so this brother of yours is hazardous to the health of your dates?
unfortunately what he wants is you.
do i want you?
i don't know. it's all i ever wanted to do.
no, i'm fascinated.
i used to be kind of wild. they used to call me the bad boy of bowling.
well, that was plan a.
plan b is your dad.
he said he'd sponsor me.
nothing.
he asked me to keep an eye on you for a couple of days.
sheila, please.
what's plan c?
look, sheila, i really like you but.  sheila rolls on top of him, and plants a hickey on his neck.
forget it, sheila.
i'm getting to like it here.
i gotta survive.
you got a better offer?
i didn't think so.
that's right, buzz, and you know when i did it? last match, last frame. all i needed was one spare for the crown - and i get stuck with the seven-ten, the fazeli split.
i was beaten on a shot named after my own dad. the moment passes. theo turns and climbs into his car. he looks up at buzz.
i couldn't care less.
really? i kinda like it.
it's been awhile. she didn't want me looking for my dad.
so why do you stay?
i bet you get to meet a lot of eligible bowlers.
i may not be a pro bowler, but i'm no amateur man. sheila moves closer to theo.
more than you could afford.
i could let them go for ten.
if you want a professional man, you have to be willing to pay for him.
what are you going to do about your brother?
what about the guy he put in the body cast?
then it's true, isn't it? about.
i don't like to talk about it.
it depends.
you already have a partner mr. kastle. sheila walks over as the sleazeballs' car pulls out of the driveway.
nope, i couldn't care less.
why should i help that old fuck.
zip.
way too late. buzz fazeli is history. too late for what?
too late for what, sheila?
you got any broken bones?
are you fucking with me sheila? is something gonna happen to buzz? sheila seems to be trying to tell theo, but is unable.
why not?
tell me, sheila. what are you afraid of? sheila shakes her head.
it's junior, isn't it.
he's my father.
i'll be at the bridge.
knock-knock.
buzz fazeli.
who's there?
no, junior, you shouldn't touch her.
what did your dad tell you to do to buzz? theo scrambles up the lane on hands and knees. junior catches him, grabbing his ankles.
what did you do to buzz?
i don't want to play.
sheila! where are you?
you told junior that we did it.
it. bouncy-bouncy. fucked. he tried to squeeze my fucking head off. what did you say to him? when they reach each other, they stop. sheila seems to weigh her answer.
what the hell did you go doing that for sheila? we haven't even gotten naked yet!
oh great! he tried to kill me! you knew he would go off if he thought i fooled around with you.
how do you get this thing down?
you wanted me to kill him, didn't you?
he's dead sheila.
you should.
i didn't stop to take his pulse.
i think your brother may have already gotten to buzz. he gets into his car.
i did your dirty work for you sheila, now fuck off. theo drives away leaving sheila standing alone. she watches his car recede with a thoughtful expression, then turns on her heel.
buzz? you alright?
hello, mom?
i found dad.
mom, you know i had to do it. i just did it a little too late.
i gotta go. love ya mom.
the pin machine?
where's junior?
i should've pegged you guys for bowling dicks from day one.
so, buzz was stooling for you guys.
when i'm with you sheila, i don't even think about bowling. theo takes sheila in his arms and kisses her passionately. she stops him and looks around nervously.
i killed him once, i'll just have to kill him again.
at least i'll die smiling.
plan c. from now on it's gonna be plan c. both bodies throb and grind, their sandy hands sliding over each others' sweaty skin.
it's gonna be you, sheila.
maybe you were right buzz. maybe i did just come here to take it out on somebody. but, i had to find my father.  the muffled beeping of "raindrops keep falling on my head" begins playing from inside the coffin. theo's body jolts. he runs after sheila who is walking towards her scooter.
buzz is alive, sheila.
i didn't come this far to bury a guy that's not my dad. he owes me.
sshheeiillaaa!
why is junior's watch in that coffin? something stinks around here.
who identified the body?
i'm the next of kin. i should've seen him.
you tried to make it look like junior trashed his place. junior's underground in that coffin you dicks put him in.
you faked my dad's murder. you used him! where is he! theo chases sid and breeze around their car. he catches sid and grabs the middle fingers on his right hand. sid howls.
what makes you think you know me so well that you can give me an ultimatum? huh?
you're really pissing me off.
my word is good, and it'll always be good. when did i ever give my word to you?
fuck plan c!
you think i'm dumping you to get back into bowling. well who's dumping who?
sez you!
paradise.
paradise. hmmmm
nope.
you have orange whips?
no. i'm from akron.
hi dad.
he says that to all his wives.
the whole world thinks you're underground.
it could just as easily have been me in that box.
what about bowling?
you're a scumbag.
nice knowing you, dad.
i never saw you.
i'm goin' straight. no more short cuts. theo gets into the car. buzz leans in the open window.
see ya 'round maynard.
i am a professional man.
you bet. for five bucks, i'll even throw in the tongue.
i don't know.