make it two -- her shot's on me. don't you want my name before you completely reject me? you are good without it. it's jim. jim kirk. if you don't tell me your name, i'm gonna have to make one up. uhura? no way -- that's the name i was gonna make up for you. uhura what? they don't have last names in your world? they don't have first names in your world? wait, let me guess. is it "jim"? okay, so you're a cadet. studying. what's your focus? let me guess: study of alien languages: phonology, morphology, syntax-- it means you've got a talented tongue. well. not only. oh, baby, i'm the smartest. you could handle me. that's an invitation. at ease, cup cake, it was a joke. like your hairline. you heard me, moon beam. okay, so go get some more guys, come back and it'll be an even fight. you can. whistle really loud, y'know that? and who am i, captain pike? he sure learned his lesson. -- why are you talking to me? maybe i love it. come to think of it, i do want to feel special. you know what? i'm gonna go start a book club-- enlist. you must be way down on your recruiting quota for the month-- we're even, right? i can go. live it up. four years? i'm gonna do it in three. at ease, gentlemen. never did get that first name. i think these things're pretty safe-- i hate to break this to you, but starfleet operates in space. jim kirk-- you really gonna throw up--? so you'll do it for me, right? i didn't ask if you have interest, i asked if you'd do it. because i've failed the test twice. so bones: why do they make us take it? and you're the greatest -- thank you. oh, no-- bones -- i gotta date. you have no idea how prepared i'm gonna be-- no idea. yeah. i sent you a message. your hearing is scary-- you sure both your parents are human? you and i have a big day tomorrow -- if i pass, will you tell me your first name? i think the fact that you picked up a transmission of a klingon prison escape is very interesting. "starfleet command has ordered us to rescue them. captain." that's okay. yeah, don't worry about it. nah. alert medical bay to prepare to receive all crew members from the damaged ship. alert medical. i understand. mmmm. no. arm photons. prepare to fire on the klingon warbirds. are they? fire on all enemy ships -- one photon each should do -- let's not waste ammunition. begin rescue of the stranded crew. so. we've eliminated all enemy ships, no one on board was injured and the successful rescue of the kobayashi maru crew is underway. anything else? yessir. i believe i have the right to face my accuser directly. your point being? respectfully. define "cheating". now let me ask you something i think we all know the answer to: the test is rigged, isn't it? you programmed it to be unwinnable. because if i'm right, sir, then the test itself is a cheat. i don't believe in no-win scenarios -- please, enlighten me. "i of all people?" how long did it take you to look that up? maybe you just don't like that i beat your test. what an idiot i am for taking that personally -- enlighten me again. so you're telling me the point. of the whole thing. is to be afraid? have you taken the test, commander spork? you keep reminding me that you're vulcan. and i'm sure you're really proud of that, who wouldn't be-- but isn't it true you people don't experience fear at all? and if that's the case -- what's that say about your ability to make command decisions? who was that pointy-eared bastard? excuse me, you didn't call my name. kirk, james t. yeah-- yeah, you go. i'm good. what are you doing? i might throw up on you. bones. thanks for getting me on board. but i don't feel right. i feel like i'm leaking. -- what's this?! -- bones -- we have to stop the ship-- --- what? how the hell would i know? is uhura on board? computer, locate crew member uhura -- we're flying into a trap. -- ow! stop it! the transmission from the klingon prison planet -- what exactly did you hear? who was it who escaped? what was the ship that was stolen--?! -- what's happening to my mouth? numb tongue? ow, damnit!!! sonofabitch! captain pike-- sir, we have to stop ship! vulcan isn't experiencing a natural disaster, it's being attacked -- by romulans. fact: the same anomaly -- a lighting storm in space -- that we saw today also occurred on the day of my birth, before a romulan ship attacked the u.s.s. kelvin. you know that, i read your dissertation. which was good. fact: this ship -- which had formidable and advanced weaponry -- was never seen or heard from again -- fact: the kelvin attack took place on the edge of klingon space and at 11-hundred hours last night there was an escape from a klingon prison planet -- rura penthe -- fact: the escaped prisoners were romulans, sir, and it was reported that they stole a ship from the prison dock. we're warping into a trap-- there are romulans waiting for us, i promise you that. it's because they're being attacked. captain. please. okay. once we knock out that machine. sir, what happens to you? so what kinda combat training d'you have? fencing. olson, pull now, now!!! i'm coming for you! kirk to enterprise -- they just launched something toward the planet! i gotcha! now pull my chute! enterprise, we're falling without a chute!!! beam us up!!! beam us up!!! enterprise, where are you?!?! now now now!!! do it now!!!!!! yeah, not a problem. the surface of what? you're going down there? are you nuts?! hey. listen, about what happened at starfleet. the test and everything-- i know it looks like i was. using you, or whatever. and i'm sorry. i really am. and. i just hope you'll forgive me. you're not gaila, are you? sorry. earth may be his next stop, but we have to assume every federation planet's a target. that is what he's suggesting and i don't buy it. then what would an angry future romulan want with captain pike? what we need to do is catch up to that ship. disable it, take it over and get pike back. "illogical"-- you're funny. -- what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp yield? there won't be a next engagement, spock: by the time we've "gathered", it'll be too late -- how many planets are you willing to risk? you say he's from the future? knows what's gonna happen? then the logical thing is to be unpredictable. yeah, don't worry ab -- computer. where am i? bite me, how's that. sonofabitch-bitch-bitch! there's nothing here!!! you neck-pinching motherf--!!! lieutenant's log, supplemental: i'm preparing a testimonial for my starfleet court martial assuming there's still a starfleet left. acting captain spock -- whose only form of expression's apparently limited to his left damn eyebrow -- has marooned me on delta vega in what i believe to be a violation of security protocol 49.09, governing the treatment of prisoners aboard a st-- hey. thank you. -- how d'you know my name? how do you know my name? -- no, i don't know you -- the only vulcan i know isn't exactly a buddy. stop. please. i don't understand. bullshit. old friend. sir, i don't have any idea how you know what you know. but i don't know you and if you are spock we're not friends. you hate me. you marooned me here for mutiny. you're the captain. pike was taken hostage. what do you know about him? what're you doing--? nero's planet was destroyed-- so you do feel. going back in time. you changed all our lives. tactical and communications -- -- he's the helmsman, why? he'd call it a damn miracle. where you came from. did i know my father? captain? hello?! excuse me? what? you know him? i know that dog. what happened to it? what is he talking about? -- you're coming with us, right? you're telling me i can't tell you i'm following your own orders? why not? what happens? how, over your dead body? so i need to emotionally compromise you? hm. you know. coming back in time. changing history. that's cheating. -- no-- shit! -- no--nonono-- comeoncomeoncomeon -- like the simulator: manual control enabled, pressure seal: enabled -- shutdown-- damnit! you all right? -- let's get to the bridge-- surprise. he's with me. you're the genius, you figure it out. well i'm not telling. captain. does that frustrate you? my lack of cooperation. does it make you angry? -- don't answer him. what is it about you, spock? your planet was just destroyed -- your mother murdered -- and you're not even upset? ha! and yet you said fear was necessary for command. i mean -- did you see that bastard's ship? did you see what he did? so are you afraid or aren't you?!? then why don't you stop me. what is it like? not to feel? anger. or heartbreak. or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?! you must not feel anything! it must not even compute for you! you must not have loved her at all--! yeah we do. thanks for the support! so do i. attention crew of the enterprise. this is james kirk. mr. spock has resigned commission and advanced me to acting captain. i know you were all expecting to regroup with the fleet, but i've ordered a pursuit course of the enemy ship to earth. i want all departments at battle stations and ready in ten minutes. either we're going down, or they are. kirk out. -- yeah, you know that's complicated -- no. no, i won't-- hey, i'm the captain now! i don't have to tell you anything! now listen: we need to figure out a way to catch up and get to nero's ship. then we find a way to get on that ship and steal the black hole device away from them. uhura: anything from captain pike? yes, chekov-- you don't need to ask permission to-- what blind spot? i won't order you to do that, mr. spock. then i'm coming with you. see, we're getting to know each other. whatever happens mr. sulu, if you feel you have a tactical advantage fire on that ship. even if we're still aboard. it's an order. her first name is. energize. mine had a gun. is he alive? let's move. spock, you'll be piloting the ship alone. wow. that's weird. just trust me. can ya do that? i'll get pike. came back, sir. just like you ordered. nice timing, lieutenant -- hail them -- now! this is captain james t. kirk of the u.s.s. enterprise -- your ship is compromised -- too close to the singularity to survive without assistance -- which we are willing to provide. we show them compassion-- it may be the only way to earn peace with romulus. it's logic, spock! i thought you'd like that. you got it. lock phasers! fire everything we've got! kirk to engineering: get us out of here, scotty! why aren't we at warp?! go to maximum warp! push it!!! all she's got isn't good enough! what else d'you got?! do it do it do it! i relieve you, sir. thank you, sir. scotty how are we? mr. sulu, prepare to engage thrus-- permission granted. it would be my honor, commander. maneuvering thrusters, mr. sulu. take us out. i relieve you, sir. thank you, sir. admit it, spock. for people like us, the journey itself. is home.