it's really not so bad annabelle -- red and blue make purple.
i know you don't, but if you had, chrom- atically you are in the purple family.
i noticed a whopping pile of laundry sitting on the washer -- perhaps rachel's underpants are in there -- now where are your lunches?
never say 'never' -- it's not fair to say 'always' -- and no name calling. use your words.
thank you. those were all words. i hate the planet uranus. terrible name for a planet.
i hate snails and blue cheese. especially together. hate.
lava's hateable. i never thought of that.
excellent point.
i hate to say goodbye. eskimo kiss. russian orthodox wedding kiss.
she said we're getting remarried?
mrs. franklin we're not --
remarried. there is no move.
are you here?
because you don't really seem here.
something's up wi.
excuse him. he never learned how to turn the darn thing off.
since our divorce luke has seen a number of different women in three short years and without a lot of warning for the kids, he's now living with a woman half his age --
we're not discussing your age.
they want to be with you luke, they go to your house to be with their father.
this man would walk thru fire for annabelle, gladly, any day of the week.
except for last thursday when rachel forgot to pick them up --
thank you luke.
it's wednesday night. she's at my house. i'll talk to her.
you tried that last week and we were on hold forty-five minutes.
i'm worried.
luke, i need to switch next friday for thursday, so why don't you take the weekend.  . that way you'll be there, and i'll pick up monday, tuesday, and wednesday.
easy enough.
well daddy and i were thinking that sometimes people tell a story about what they wish would happen.
well you're telling your teachers and your friends --
maybe you're upset that rachel moved in.
look if the truth is you don't feel like talking about this right now that's fine. but don't look me in the eye with a big smile on your face and lie to me. cause there are only so many lies you're allowed to tell before it starts showing on your face. you wind up looking like.
well, he's not president anymore, so why be petty.
it happens.
that will never happen.
seven of clubs. nobody's mad we just want to talk about it.
annabelle, daddy and i will always be there. that's one time always is always. you can call him after dinner but.
thank you ben. annabelle!
how do you hold down a job? it's 8:10. you were supposed to be here at 7:00. she's missed her sunrise groom'n ride.
every tuesday except the 3rd tuesday of the month when it's switched to friday except in april when she rides on thursday. it's not that hard. didn't you have a mother?
we don't have any coffee.
annabelle, how's your video rep.
what happened with annabelle? has nothing i said gotten through to you?
what did you do?
a ridiculously expensive and inappropriate item, which her father and i have already told her she is far too young to own. but you apparently want to buy her forgiveness, with.
how much time have you got? let's start with this morning. why did she run from this room?
i'm sure that didn't upset her. everyone in our family takes showers.
did you or luke talk to her about it afterwards?
you mean for you. a 10-year-old girl is coping with the fact that her father is never coming back to live with his family. she sees her father naked with another woman for the first time. and you think it's best for her if every- one pretends it didn't happen? this isn't going to work out.
oh and i don't because i have a children?! the problem is you're too self-involved to ever be a mother.
get out!
you got to hell!
machines do not eat message.
of all the cheap excuses. to break a child's heart.
don't worry, sweetie, there's still the harvest pageant. and you are the lead vegetable.
and nothing. and no one. can keep me away.
just outside the big top, we're almo.
at the big apple circus, it's the only big top i know. i said i'd get 'em back tonight.
until the plan changed, when jessie's mom gave us these tickets. what, rachel. 'forgot' i told her?
don't tell me. another machine ate another message? boy, there's a lot of that going around! put her on, huh?
think twice. before you ever pull that again.
ben! oh my ben! are you alright?
shhhhhh!
annabelle doesn't really want to talk to you right now.
see? no one's laughing at you. your friends want you to join them, anna- belle. corn is a very important part of the harvest produce. now ben, walk your sister over to the yams.
you listen carefully because i am only going to say this once. that woman has nothing more to do with my children.
do you realize what could have hap- pened to your son today? how lucky we are the police found him before some lunatic did? he could have been.
not to me.
i'm not gonna wait around to see the next one. i'm not gonna watch my kids fall through the cracks of this arrangement. i'm seeing a lawyer.
we've broken a lot of promises, haven't we luke?
i am not here to make it easier for you. these are my children. they don't want to be with you.
a court order is gonna say that woman is never alone with my children! ever again! do you hear that?
lord nelson, napoleon's troops. i fear for the women and the property values.
no, that's your fault. it's her fault for not watching over my precious son, as if it were her priority. which means, the most important job.
ben, mommies work too. they work very hard. mommy works harder as a mom than she did when she was working. i just don't get paid.
people like rachel who only think about themselves often do make a lot of money.
yes. if you like big hair.
what honey?
you know, you can come inside the house.
called him. we set an ap.
you're saying, don't make the kids a football, don't put them through a war. but i'm doing this for their well-being.
slugs. have faster learning curves. trees, even.
and i'm supposed to care.
like you cared about me three years ago?
maybe you should talk to your daughter, about why. she seems to have missed that part.
forget i said that.
one last chance, don't make me regret it.
or you will, too.
wait. what time is it?
oh, i'm waiting on some news, that's all. say. can i ask you why you never asked me something you probably asked daddy anyway?
daddy was washing rachel. in the shower. what did you think that was about?
well, not exactly s.
scream.
how would you know sh.
why do you think?
so why are you asking me?
same here, huh?
i'm sorry. look, i'm not real comfortable being here, but.
i overhead what you told annabelle. the lie.
i didn't need you to take the blame for me, i'm quite.
you're not terribly good at taking care of h.
those are my children you're practicing on. they deserve first- rate care. every minute. of every night. and every day.
so why did y.
i have an appointment this after- noon. i need someone to take them to the park.
however many. it's not enough.
fine, forget it.
bandaids for cuts. bandaids for new shoe blisters. packet of wash n dri's. kleenex. sugar free lollipops, potty seat covers for public restrooms.
ben likes to be read to. do you know dr. seuss?
do you have a word limit you need to hit every day or can i finish?
here's their schedule for this after- noon. i'll meet you at the park at five. all i ask is that they're alive when i get there.
thank you.
mr. samuels? forgive the intrusion, i'm jacqueline harrison, and.
well, i just wanted to thank you. for your generosity.
my daughter had a terrible emergency yesterday. my husband and i couldn't be reached, and. your ms. kelly came to annabelle's rescue.
i'd hate to think what might have happened.
she told me that you were so suppor- tive, even at great inconvenience to your business, and.
it's wonderful to see a successful man. with that sense of priorities.
if i can ever repay your kindness. it would be my great pleasure.
and your ms. kelly? a remarkable young woman.
i don't even know what that means. spread. that is very unclear.
but the other time. you said you got it all. so you could be wrong again. one time, you say one thing, then.
but we can beat it.
people beat it, don't they? all the time.
so we'll. radiate some more?
that's necessary, huh?
i guess a no-hair day beats a bad-hair day.
i have to get dressed. my ex-husband has asked me to dinner. god knows why, he was very mysteri.
why would his worry? or my children's worry. or anyone's worry. help the sit.
you don't burden others needlessly. that's how i was raised, doctor.
because it's quiet. and he wants to talk. alise -- once he saws you in half, it's bedtime.
probably you -- your brother -- school -- the solar system. the usual.
i'm a little tired and it's just a pick-me-up.
well daddy and i are just friends now, and that's no reason not to wear mascara.
annabelle showed me the new dress. she's amazing in it.
tell me exactly how you're different from three years ago? the music sounds kind of the same from where i'm sitting.
just not to me.
to make it easier for them or you?
you can't be an 'us' just when you want to. you can't play that card when it's convenient.
we are over.
no. you think this is going to help the kids then you do it. you're on your own.
the great thing about life is that things keep changing.
and we all went through that together?
look she's upset --
daddy and i tried hard. we really did.
annabelle. rachel's not taking my place as your mother -- it's just daddy's chance to be happy again. isn't that what we all want for each other?
come. sit.
life is full of hard things. and we can't always have what we want, you know that.
but we do have a choice. to make it better. instead of worse.
like seeing the good side of rachel. so she'll see the good side of us.
because i'm looking ahead. and you know what i see?
time will come. when we all need to be there. for each other.
that happens. to families.
i'm counting on it.
it's okay, it's twenty minutes. the horse'll be there.
that is so pretty. you usually only see that color in people's teeth.
well. it's for you.
just because. just because i love you. go ahead.
hey. at least it's not an editing machine.
i hope it's the right kind.
well, i thought. you know, why wait?
like a big sister.
i bet.
secret's safe with me.
hey, good-lookin', i was just thinking about calling y.
honey, this is thursday. i pick you up tomorrow, and we do big spaghetti.
you'll be up to your armpits in meatballs, i'm flying them in from sweden.
not a lot, sweetie. it's a country. like canada. only smaller.
i'm somewhere, thinking of you. and meatballs. and you know what?
of course, you do. being magic. then you know i've got a flu bug, and i turn green and barf profusely when i even think about food. so, all the more meatballs for you. but you know what.
do me a favor? eat it, and then give me a secret report, okay? pay particular attention to whether it's chewy and if it tastes more like chocolate or soup.
hey, that's a world-class laugh you got there. can i all you sometime? if i fell blue.
that i do. always will.
i'm fine, ba.
nope.
we can only have two.
thursday's fine.
i looked away for one second.  just one second. he's. he's.
he's my son! he looks like his father! his name is ben -- he answers to harry --
yyyaaaaaaahhh!
are you crazy, you could suffocate in there!!!
you got that right.
pushing her hair over her eyes. means she's avoiding a confrontation.
if she's twirling it, she's playing something out in her mind. if she's stopped combing it, she might be depressed.
anxiety.
she was angry at herself.
yes?
i'll keep it in mind, and use it against you.
not great. plus, i've got things on my mind. you know.
yeh, that does tend to make me sick to my stomach. actually, i'm, uh.
thinking of going back to random house. on a part-time basis.
well, i could do most of it from home. but, while i'm working it out with the head editor, i'd need to.
make some trips into the city. sometimes, overnight.
let's. hold up for a bit. it may not happen. our secret, okay?
it is. it's about time.
stop. you're making me insecure.
it's temporary.
not the term i'd use.
never stand between that kid and a meatball.
yeh, better i should forcefeed him burnt lamb and. couscous, was it she made him? boy, kids go wild for that.
i'll drop him at tucker's party saturday, if one of you guys can pick him up. i have to go into the city.
you know what happens to spaghetti when it waits around for you too long?
pray. we never find out.
okay, what is this? if you want to dump luke on me, no sale. you're stuck with him.
i don't know wh.
my boss.
you what?
don't flatter yourself.
nobody likes a snoop.
i'd have thought this was the answer to your prayers. lose the witch, and her two brats, in one swoop. problems solved.
bi-coastal parenting. happens every day. luke gets the kids every other summer, every other holiday, it's not ideal, but people make it work, and.
did i hear the word.
then let him talks to me. we don't need you to solve our prob.
really. by what right? six months of part-time screw-ups?
sure, i could. if i was looking for one.
you're a moron, kid. you guessed the wrong secret.
charlie drummond used to be a colleague at random house. i'm crashing at her place, while i take some new protein injections my oncologist recommended. i can only get them in san francisco.
life's a trade-off. you get cancer, your hair falls out, but you do get to smoke dope.
no such luck. i'm beating the shit out of this. pardon my french.
how the hell would you know?
how would you know anything?
i exercise, i eat the healthiest foods, you live on pork rinds and ho-ho's, and i've got cancer!
you are marrying the greatest guy who walks this earth. who i have loved from my heart for twelveyears!
and you walk in. you smile that smile. you move that boy. and he's yours for free.
and you. love my kids. how fucking touching.
they came out of my body!
i have given them morelove and more care every fifteen minutes of their lives, than you could manage in the next fifty years!
ironic, huh?
ironic, that i'm gonna need you.
to be a little less. undeserving.
drink your tea while i go vomit.
you love my kids, that's a start. we'll work on it.
i thought a phone call was inappropriate.
i could have taken you to that restaurant, but it would have been a waste of money.
i know. i wouldn't know what to say. if it were you.
walk in the park. and thanks for the 'we'.
i live or i die.
my compliments. on your learning curve.
mommy's sick, guys.
i have cancer. do you know what that is?
grammy had a different kind. there are lots of kinds. hers was very bad.
actually, i'm getting better already.
i had a lot of treatments, and they weren't any fun, but the tests show the cancer got smaller.
i'm still sick, but i'm better.
that's right. and you're mad.
i know how scared i get when you're sick. so i waited to tell you. until it was getting smaller. i thought that was best, maybe i was wr.
we make mistakes. and we forgive each other. because we love each other, very m.
i can't hear you.
i'm not deaf, y'know.
in the still. still of the ni-ight. i held you. held you so ti-ight.
sugar. i was slow dancing to that song before rachel was even born.
you think she's the queen of cool?
does she have a tattoo?
and?
she is but an arriviste.
a newcomer. she's still got a thing or two to learn.
i held you. held you so ti-ight.  you sing lead, you've got the voice.
the stud and i will doo-wop.
small world.
you're a cross-dresser.
she hasn't mentioned this.
moi?
going out, yeh. i had kids of my own, once.
oh, my god.
she's devastated.
and you said?
well, did you really think you'd meet someone at eleven that you'd spend the rest of your life with?
what's thursd.
i could help with the debate.
actually. i could only help him.
you don't like his friends.
you wouldn't kiss him, huh?
good girl.
and what do you do wh.
you have to ignore him.
he's not even there. you don't see him, you don't hear him, you're just too much of a woman to bother with little boys.
all he wants is the attention. when he can't get to you, he'll try harder for a little while. then, he'll give up. it'll be no fun.
oh, yeh.
how many devilled eggs can you eat?
we can always go to the store, if w.
tucker, is something wr.
why?
beeeennnnnn!
don't move!
i don't care if you're a dwarf, so long as you do your job. ben! i'm coming! stay there! mommy's coming!
that's absolutely out of the question. ben! i'm here!
ben! mommy's so glad to see you -- now stop climbing! ben listen to me.
where ben?
ben where do you have to get to?
ben. god doesn't like visitors.
ask her, she's a heroic fireperson. she does this twenty times a day.
that's right, ben. that's why firemen have giant ladders and climb up and down poles. they're like.  messengers.  carrier pigeons.  between heaven and earth.
god. i will do anything. i will go through any amount of pain you give me. if you'll just let me see them grow up.
is that asking so damn much?
annabelle. wake up honey.
nothing sweetheart.
i got ginny weintraub to come stay with ben.
how'd you like to go someplace special with me? right now.
hold tight, sweetheart.
i'm never, never going to forget this.
you're old enough to learn the loophole. you can say 'never, never'. if you mean it enough. to say it twice.
promise.
i can never figure weather. last trip, i made all the wrong choices.
can't complain.
it's a mess, right now. that's my project when i get back.
see, i'm not going to houston, after all.
there's this clinic in montreal. we've studied their process, we like their success rate.
they combine some compounds that have been getting results in france, with vitamin injections. seems to activate the chemo.
it's promising, this one. we're upbeat.
i really look like shit.
yeh, that's bull. i'm going for serene, they say some actually get there.
prob'ly low percentage on mothers.
you try to center on the big issues, y'know. what it's all about. what this whole trip has meant. but then, the really big issues keep swamping y.
you don't have any pot, i s'pose?
the primo stuff is great for pain.
so. she ignores this little kovitsky punk, takes the high moral ground.
he's relentless. a major asshole.
what else? keep on keepin' on.
she has to stick with it. have the patience, the guts, to ignore the pain. you disagree?
hi. how's the vitamins up there? having big fun?
eat your heart out. is annabelle there?
how's she doing with brad?
thanks, but it's under control.
it's covered, okay? i appreciate your concern. can i talk to her?
darling, i've been thinking about our little brad problem? and i think it's time we move to plan b.
i know. i know how rough life can be. and how unfair. so here's what we do. tomorrow, on the lunch yard, you walk straight up to that little jerk.
no, that never solves anything. you talk like the big girl you are. about what you feel. and how he's hurt you. you know? you tell the truth.
you use your words.
it's a miracle! i can walk!
okay. these are good.
i've got a lot of medicine in me, sweetie. and i'm a little wobbly for driving or running ar.
go to the park. in the worst way.
serene means you accept.
part of me hasn't quit yet. and the other part is still pretty outraged. when it's not terrified.
i'm thinking. do i know you well enough to really chew you out?
have you lost your mind?! you fought years for that job! and you quit??
do what you've worked your whole life to do?
you mean, after i'm dead?
juggle it! move the darkroom into your house. you've got that room downstairs with the treadmill luke never uses anyway. don't lose your confidence. don't lose your edge.
yes. i made the choice that was right for me. and i don't regret it. but even for me, there were days when i felt so lost, so invis- ible. and then i'd hate myself for the kids not being enough.
i know you, huh? the car pools, he measles, the pta. it's not gonna be enough for you in the long run. you have to think long term.
that's motherhood. that's the job, with or without a career. i'm telling you the biggest gift you can give them is your happiness. they need you to be happy.
cause if you're not, the easiest person to blame is the guy sleeping next to you. and you'll push him away, and then hate him even more when he goes, until finally you have no choice but to leave. and that can't happen.
feeling the pressure?
ben was born in two hours, went right to my breast and camped there for three days. always with this. mischievous look.
somehow, his blanket always looked like a cape, even the nurse said that. he loves to hear that story, over and over. how he was born a magician.
took 28 hours. she just wasn't sure about entering this world.
the doctor wanted to go in and get her, but i knew she'd come in her own time.
that's who she is. don't let anybody rush her.
what?
is that what he told you?
well, he got that part right.
who in the world is he?
he looks familiar. did he do a calvin klein ad?
now we're going to have a fight, you and i.
and i'm going to win.
now, 'limp dick', i know. what. is 'snowballing'?
because there'll be, oh, 20 or 30 mothers phoning me in the next hour or so. and they'll b.
actually. they'll want annabelle's mother.
you are defending what you did?
you put filth in my child's mouth.
you had her lie about that.  that fancy-boy model!
so you became the hero. and i became the schmuck.
you taught my child that i am some limp dick loser. who didn't care about her pain.
you think i didn't have some dirty words for that little putz? you think i couldn't figure out some low blows?
well, maybe your version of growing up is 'just win, baby'.
mine. is a little different.
see, in that crisis, i saw an opportunity. for some real growth.
shut the fuck up. i didn't go behind your back.
doing the right thing. knowing who you are, inside. not caving to peer pressure, or lowering yourself to that level, steering your own course.
well, that's what parenting is about, little girl. they are pleading to know how they are supposed to do it. and you sure as hell showed her.
and there will come another moment. when the stakes are really there. and she will look back on this. and remember how good it felt. how easy it was.
you've turned her into you. and i may not get another chance. to turn her back.
you've got a point there, for a change. oh, yes you do.
you didn't get morning sickness for seven months, you didn't breast feed till your nipples fell off, you didn't spend every minute of every day thinking and planning and knowing that your decisions were shaping the people they were going to be.
you are gonna be taking ben's training wheels off. you are the one my little girl will confess her first love to. you will see them married, you will play with their babies, you fucking bitch, i hate your guts!
thanks for coming out.
luke called. he says you're checking out. of the heartbreak hotel.
she likes a stolie, no ice.
what's this about? because we fought?
no, there isn't.
what do you see? down that road.
is scary. but you want it. gimme some truth here.
come on, a wuss like me? the stiff who wouldn't help her own daughter fight back?
well, maybe you weren't.
trade you a smoke. for a secret.
you know, i lost ben awhile back? in a supermarket.
i lost him. i was panicked.
i was running around like a chicken with my head chopped off. doing my imitation of you.
he only remembers i found him. my point is, telling you this story would have been the kindest, most helpful thing i could ever have done for you.
why didn't i?
we were competing. even then.
instead of being partners. watch- ing each other's back. seeing things were covered.
you're not scared you'll think you don't measure up. you're scared they'll think it. that's the jfk thing, yeh?
what do i have that you don't?
you're the hip and fresh.
you'll learn.
i have their past.
you. have their future.
don't you get it? you look down the road to her wedding. you're in the room alone with her, fitting her veil, fluffing her dress. telling her no woman was ever that beautiful.
and your fear is. she'll be thinking. i wish mom were here.
and mine is. she won't.
now that's enough fear for either one of us to kill the other. and no jury in the world would convict.
we're guilty, girl. of being human. and we can't forgive ourselves.
but i forgive you.
just want to be a little sharper. for a few minutes.
some things to say. to the kids, huh?
then, bring in the presents. we'll have big fun.
just sit me up. nice and tall. bring benjamin first.
scrapbook.
find the bird cage?
well, don't make him disappear before i see him.
oh, look at this.
that's you and me. our first photo as a couple.
this good-looking. was beyond my imagination.
so what do you think we're gonna talk about?
the secret of it. that only magicians. can ever understand.
see, when we die. our body goes away. our body. but we. we are not our body, are we?
if a soldier loses his legs in a war. is he the same guy? sure he is.
half. of him.
dying. is where the whole body goes away. so you can't see any of it. but.
what do magicians know?
just because you can't see it. doesn't. mean. it's gone.
the world. thinks i'm gone. but only the magician. knows better.
right here. right here. inside the magician. shhhh.
always. always. and you won't hear a voice. but in here. you'll know. what i'm saying.
no, it isn't. because it isn't everything. and we want every- thing, don't we?
but god does let us keep the one best thing we have together. the one best thing we've always had. know what it is?
i love you. and you love me.
it's worth a lot. will you keep it?
don't. take me with you.
thank god. i got to see you. grown up.
let me be the judge of that.
there's an amazing thing when a woman has a daughter. one day you look up, and you see. a sister. someone. you can say. anything to.
i wrote a whole lot of letters. to each of you. and the envelope says when to open it. like, which birthday. or. when you get your driver's permit. first time you see rome. things like that.
keep ben's for awhile, okay? until he's old enough to not open them all at once.
are you afraid for me? where i'm going.
don't be. i'm going. where we all go. now how can that be bad.
good. that's very good.
what you're grown-up enough to know. is that people. can do two things at once. okay?
you can miss me. and. take me with you.
when you're in trouble. have me there. when you fall in love. have me there. you can.
that's how we go on, you know. forever. because someone takes us along.
on your wedding night. when your babies are born. i want to be there. will you take me?
you made my life wonderful.
take that with you, too.