ben! you overslept again damn it!
get up get up get up!
ben you're late. i'm serious. i'm wearing a very serious face. don't make me start counting one.
don't make me say three i'm about to say three. three!
ben i'm not kidding around. you make yourself appear this instant!
you might think this is funny but this is actually not funny.
annabelle! wake up!
i didn't forget. i was up all night thinking about it and i concluded you're too special to look like everyone else. orange red. that's your color. few can carry it off. now please. help me find your brother.
of course not. does he look lost to you? bennnnn!!!
here.
i'm almost done making it. alright ben -- you deal with the tardy, you write yourself a note, your daddy told you he had an important case this morning and he had to leave early and we were aaaagggghhhh!
oh my god. that is so not funny. you're late. you're really late. now get out here and have some cereal.
fine! eat in the cupboard.
fine.
then have a donut --
alright starve.
he's badgering a witness. eat.
hello?. duncan. the ad agency's already there?. i'm out the door.  ben! knock it off! it's gonna go beautifully.  damn it ben --
absolutely duncan i'm on top of everything.
eggzactly. i'm putting on my coat -- we are late. we are seriously late. which means mister ben we've got to get you dressed --
cooper, back the fill off i don't have enough shadow.
you say that like i don't know that.
and when did that pass?
duncan. my work is everything to me. this'll never happen again. now stand back -- this session's gonna make you remember why you hired me even though i wouldn't sleep with you -- cooper let's get these penguins dancing --
okay, if they're going to have a sauce, put something in it besides flour and chicken broth.
well, it wasn't a reduction like you do it! boiling down half a ton of bones.
the way you cook. if you could make love, i'd marry you.
uh-oh. i mention marriage, all of a sudden.  ve haff to ta.
you'd rather spoil our walk home.
so i'll have to order in?
jesus.
i thought it was her weekend. do i ever see you alone?
for what?
i can take them to work with me -- i can shift things around --
can't handle them myself is what you mean. can't.
you don't trust me to be alone with them.
but? but what?
i know how responsible, caring adults parent children. i'm bribe 'em. but 'em a dog or something. maybe a doberman.
look. i know they hate me.
and what you're telling them is keep hating her -- keep up the good work --
really? look in your ex-wife's eyes.
oh right. so it's just complicated for you and jackie -- for me it's pretty simple cause i just don't understand.
you know i don't need another person in this family making me feel like an idiot. your ex-wife's doing a bang up job and i have to face it every tuesday and thursday and every other goddamn weekend and i just don't know how the hell you were married to her for so goddamn long! jesus what did you see in her? i don't get it -- i just don't get it.
hello?
aw george. not again.  who wants to help clean up this time? annabelle?
i'm sorry, okay? let's not fi.
annabelle let's get something clear.
thank god for that!
what i meant and perhaps i didn't say it well was you have a great mom. you don't need another one. but when you're at this house --
this is my house too!
thank you ben. that was so sweet of you. goodnight annabelle. sweet dreams.
"in the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon"
mmmm! tasty. you're a master chef ben. just like your dad.
"goodnight moon, goodnight hush, goodnight mush, goodnight goodnight goodnight gracie -- goodnight ben!
"in the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon"
that's nice ben.
this is friday, her riding lesson is on tuesdays. i got it right here.
can i please have a cup of coffee?
what is this? the betty ford center?
maybe you could back off just a little bit --
nothing. look, i want to talk to you about. well. luke said to ask you.
see, the place where i can connect with annabelle is my photography. because she loves video and all.
she's been talking about this little editing machine, it's only.
forgiveness? for what, exactly?
luke was in the shower this morning and annabelle sort of walked in without knocking.
i was in there in him.
no. i thought it might be uncomfortable for her --
you're damn right. i'm gonna sick of your imperious bullshit. i never said i was betty fucking crocker. if every time life hits her in the face you want to have a 12 hour talk every third friday or the month -- go ahead! i have a life!
maybe the problem is your kids. maybe they're spoiled, coddled brats!
but it's not on the schedule!
ah ah ah! you owe me a quarter --
she said no.
the editing machine. i mean, annabelle would have really loved it.
it would have been great for us, so obviously, jackie just.
she's really a difficult person.
best thing ever happened to you was her throwing you out on your butt.
not that i have a personal stake in it.
uh. annabelle's video report has been switched again.
hey, i sold my body to satan to clear friday at two o'clo.
our weekend. at that sweet little b & b.
no, this is good. celibacy is healthy. for a guy your age. you'll get used to it.
hi, it's the trophy bimbo. annabelle's teacher called, and her video report is being moved up to 8:30 tomorrow. sorry to deprive your step aerobics class of their role model.
anyway. i'm sorry i lost my temper the other day. and i'm sure you are, too, so.
no, apology necessa.
look, i.
yeh?
the timing was off -- i need this light.
hold lunch!
it's only one o'clock. why don't you get another fudgesicle -- i'll be done soon -- really soon.
lunch time sleeping beauty. where's ben? is he in the bathroom?
he's not kidnapped he's -- he's just hiding -- he's just -- bennnn? goddammit!
ben! ben we're here! ben!
jackie? i am so sorry about today i really fucked up royalty. when you called luke i was so goddamn relieved --
no i did -- i know i did -- i screwed up. i feel like such an asshole.
i'm sorry i didn't mean to break your concentration. i thought it would be a nice moment to rememb.
jackie, if i thought for one moment.
why are you taking this out on him?
you haven't done one goddam thing to make any of this easier.
well, maybe they would if they thought it was okay, with y.
no, no, that is not possible. you must have the wrong little gir.
because annabelle's mother never forgets, is never late, is never imperfect. so that's some other kid sitting on the curb by the car pool li.
sure. i was just doin' my nails.
hey, sea salt and vinegar, i know this is your fave.
c'mon, these are the bomb, i prom.
tell ya the truth? i did.
your mom had to. help a friend with this. emergency? and she called me. and we switched days. then, i got stuck on my shoot, and.
hold on! don't let the light.
in.
i don't recall inviting you.
i have a snoop.
i didn't do it for you. believe me.
she already hates me. you've seen to that.
i need practice.
i did it for her.
poor kid has to believe in someone. even if it's you.
what? and have federal agents jump out of the bushes with court orders? how many years do you get in this state for giving second-rate care to minors?
i'm already on thin ice. yesterday, i actually thought my boss was going to fire me.
why not just bring the whole toilet?
not personally.
thank you.
oh my god. are you serious?
i think so too.
okay. is that the good thing or the bad thing?
how did you hurt someone? she threw you out, remember?
everything's gonna work out. the kids and i. we're going to love each other.
what's eight, ten years? hell, you'll still be ambulatory. i think.
it's inevitable. look, i was defensive, i was insecure. i was afraid to love first.
but i'm not anymore.
i'll get this.
how could i be? we learned some magic.
i made all the pieces disappear.
and you learned.
to make that trick disappear, huh?
a night. of learning.
uh. put that away, hon, your mom w.
sorry i'm late, i got lost dropping ben off at kevin's.
see, i.
i'm sorry, i just.
no way. i told her two, three years, maybe, for such an expens.
the greatest.
what the fuck is that?
a tattoo?
she's gonna trip over her own feet, if she doesn't get her hair out of her eyes.
what about obsessively picking her split ends?
last week when she chopped her barbie's bangs all to hell --
jackie?
when i twisted hair like this it means i'm intimidated by you.
you feeling all right?
are you. seeing someone?
wowie. how wonderful!
hey, any help you need, we'll cover.
uh. have you told luke and the ki.
sure, if you like.
well, that's a long way off, sweetie. we'll talk to mom and dad.
'in the still. still of the ni-ight. i held you.  held you so ti-ight'. take it, man.
hi, i'm here to pick up ben.
no. i'm doing it behind her back.
something came up. c'mon ben! i've got a shoot at three.
hey cooper. pull a number 64 steel blue gel on the back light. yeah i'm on my way but.
hey benjy boy -- chill. he's there already? no i don't want to talk to him -- duncan? how are you.
ben -- duncan i'm aware of that - goddamn it ben! let go of it. now!
ben i'm sorry. it's been a hard day. now would you do us both a favor and take this phone and.
make it disappear.
breaks out the geiger counter, the man is radio-active!
get over it, dunc.  . whoa, whoa, annab.
could it be, maybe. anywhere else? like. another galaxy would be more convenient.
okay, don't cry. flunking science is not happening. on my watch.
just that her daughter left a science book somewhere at her house, and i need t.
well, she's been meeting with the head editor for the last few w.
actually, she's going back to work with your company on a part- time basis.
thank you for your time.
what the hell.
now, if i were a science book, where would i.
who am i kidding.
great, i'm leaving prints.
jackie. can't wait to see you here. i know you're anxious. but it's going to work out wonderfully, i promise. til then. charlie.
i know your secret.
i was looking for annabelle's book, and i found your tickets. and the note. from your new boss.
you're not working at random house, i talked to them.
you're taking the kids. and moving to san francisco.
look, you've never liked me.
and i know checking into your life was inexcusable.
but i came here to.
to beg you. not to do it.
you can't take luke's children away from him.
we can't live like that.
luke. can't live like that.
it's my problem, too.
i got used to. thinking of them. as. my kids too.
no right at all. i just love them.
there's so many publishing houses in new york. surely, you could find a good one?
you're not dying.
you bet you are.
i don't, but.
and cigarettes. i smoke, too.
see, i know that.
okay, i'm undeserving.
this is very good tea!
it's no biggie.
it's just an assignment.
are you hungry? you could make us something?
it's two solid months, around the clock, jackie needs some cover- age, you're in a trial, what are we talking about? there'll be other assignments.
great, wallow in guilt, you sure you're not jewish?
i know that.
luke's depo ran late. i promised i'd take notes.
so i have to tell you something in confidence.
that. and. annabelle is over her head. with brad 'the dreamboat' kovitsky.
she was afraid you'd make a big deal out of it.
toi. they've been 'going out' for two weeks.
as you may know, 'going out' in the six grade doesn't mean shit. they don't actually go to a movie or anywhere, they don't even eat lunch together, it's just a declaration to the world that they're.
anyway. he walks up to her on lunch yard today. and tells her.  publicly. that they're 'breaking up.'
right. which is the whole point of this 'going out' thing, so one of them can dump the other one, and they can imitate the whole passionate adult soap opera tragedy, without ever having to actually date.
doesn't begin to describe it. i mean, you've got cancer, this is serious.
she spent an hour in the girls' bath- room, crying with eight of her closest friends, who are sending the message to every boy in the grade that brad kovitsky is yesterday's toast.
so here's the point. i pick her up from soccer, she tells me the whole mess, and asks me what to do.
beats me. ask your mom.
so she's gonna. tomorrow.
don't fuck this up.
it's your girlfriend, big guy,
hey, gorgeous, where's big mama?
she still packing for her trip?
and. other things? at school?
we'll talk. i'll go check on mom.
it's gonna be cool, huh?
bad day?
can i look at the pictures?
so. hopeful.
you look sick. but you look.  together. mentally tough.
brad kovitsky.
i think my 'primo shit' got left in my 'bellbottoms.'
and you said.
hey. you oughta know.
god, sorry i'm so late.
duncan is doing his himmler imitation on this gig. i got yelled at for quitting at eight.
no problem.
lemme guess. a bad hair day.
that's so weak.
honey, she won't d.
i told her if she pulled that, i'd kill myself, and she could go to my funeral for a change!
hey. hey. i've personally never gone to a funeral. and i'm not starting anytime soon.
specially not in this family.
nine o'clock. that could be your mom from montreal. now you need t.
yeh, she's. i'll get you ben first, it's past his bedti.
can i say one thing? i mean, the last thing i want to do is inter- fere on the brad thing, b.
yah? well, even the best mom in the world, the smartest, the wisest, whatever. needs to know when to find a plan b. cos plan a is not and will n.
i'll get ben.
annabelle, i know you miss your mother. so why don't you say hello.
annabelle pick up the phone.
that doesn't bother me.
you think this is funny?
no. i think it's ugly.
june 3rd, god willing, i'll marry your dad. and then i will be your stepmom. and right now, i'm not looking forward to th.
stepmother. you think that means you can step on me? over me? that you're one step ahead of me? well, you're not.
you know when girls grow into women? when they have to. and this is your moment, kid. ready or not.
your mama is in a hospital, far away. she needs you, right now. she needs you to be big. to put the kid aside, and help her get well. now. fucking. do it!
i love you guys. you're animals!
it's 1:45, i told you there's no one to pick up annab.
i've got it. it's in the can, cooper can wrap th.
which part of no don't you understand?
they're losing one mother. they can't lose two.
duncan. i've got an even better idea.
i. quit.
no, no, no, this is a job that's hard to keep, not a job that's hard to lose, can't be both.
actually. i just did.
oh, baby, i'm so sor.
ben, go sit in my car right now, and i will bribe you big time.
laughed, yeh. they laughed real hard.
that's because men can be scum, your precious father excepted, may you live to find one like him, it is damn hard.
now is that little prick still here, because if he is, i'm gonna rip his fucking heart out!
that's because your mother is a fine person, finer than i will ever be. now, just this once.
if i tell you what to do. can we cut a deal?
tomorrow is friday, your mom comes home. you tell her you did what she said. it didn't work yet. but you're gonna talk to brad again on monday.
and youdon't tell her. what you're going to say.
no, baby. you're gonna use my words.
okay, let's start with looks. i know he's handsome, but the best- looking people are so vain, there's always something they're insecure about.
does he have zitz? we can call him pizza face.
help me here.
great. big ears, too?
done. he's a dead man.
monday lunch, you walk up with attitude, you hear me?
hey, ear boy! listen up, rhino face, because i'm saying this one time! so your pathetic, no-life, ass-kissing little groupies here, better take notes!
i dumped you, limp dick, when i got a peek at your deformed unit, which is sadly microscopic!
as for your pitiful knowledge of sex? i'm not wasting my time with some loser who doesn't even know what snowballing is!
oh. it's an incredibly disgusting, and not remotely sexy thing, that they described in a movie i'd never let you go to. but it's real. does he have an older brother?
he'll be impressed. the clincher is, you walk away, then whip around.
the guy i see is in the eighth grade at prep school, and he laughs his ass off every time we talk about you.
a suitable boy, will be at this flagpole, on monday, with a very expensive bike, and he will be a stone fox if i have to call an escort service!
now let's go stuff you full of junk food.
i've had the worst day. till now.
surprise?
hon, maybe your mom would like t.
serene. you're getting the hang of it.
no.
it's just not the right time t.
it was just a job, there'll be plenty of others.
hey, you haven't quit on you, i'm sure as hell not gonna. i just mean, i'm juggling a lot right n.
it's the same choice you made.
i just want to spend time with them when i'm not rushing or on the phone or tired or.
that's the bottom line, isn't it? i can't make a mistake. because it'll screw your kids.
my advice to you? don't die.
last time i pushed him? he said, 'higher, rache. it makes my penis sting.'
i'm gonna buy him that white dove for christmas. if i don't, you'll get him a fucking eagle!
and her?
i'll keep that in mind.
it's not about the kids.
that thing you said before. pushing the guy sleeping next to you away. because of what you gave up for motherhood.
he won't discuss it. just calls it history.
so what's the part he got wrong?
i got all day.
hold your applause. we're not having fun, here.
oh yeh, she was cracking me up. dishing details of her sordid little divorce.
just like to make sure. that your past. and my future. are real different.
imagine my relief. so what's for dinner?
you took a fishing trip with the boys. liked it so much, you took another.
while she watched the kids. then, you booked this flat in paris for your family's summer. but she said.
what do you call it? you told her you had doubts.
let me put it this way. hell, no.
by way of saying you were unhappy.
excuse me. 'things are so confusing for me, jack. our life feels too comfortable, too safe, too predict- able. it's a partnership, it's juggling schedules. when i think of playing that out, every day, for the rest of my life'
no, she threw you out. what a difficult woman.
so now i get to wait.
for the first sign. the first fishing trip.
what do you figure, luke? when am i too old to be exciting? when your daughter brings home her college roommate?
no, here's ugly. 'i love you, babe. it's just our life together i'm not so sure about'
'but keep dancing, and if you're lucky, i might just never leave, who knows?'
because you've changed so much.
how about the promises we make to our kids? about their future. do we shrug those off, just that easily?
maybe annabelle deserves to find out who really broke up her family. while her mom is still around.
hey. just a thought.
you got one less for dinner.
i'm gonna get me a drink.
and i'm gonna drink it alone.
you really didn't have to come, you know. i'd have brought them straight t.
looks nice enough to m.
are we.
don't be too sure.
it doesn't matter, i didn't tell h.
give 'em my number.
is that what you're worried about? looking bad at the pta?
right down to the ground. let's get to it.
aw.
worked. like a charm.
she was beaten, and bloodied, and it was going to go on, uni.
that's not wh.
you weren't passing 'em out.
oh please.
she wasn't steering her own course, she was steering yours.
and she'll fight back again. god help me, what have i done.
that's what it is. and that's all it is.
you won't get the chance.
now you're talking sense.
all year long, i've been watching how you do this. the worries, the sacri- fices, the signals you give them.
and i admire you. more than you'll ever believe. and yet. this.  thing. has been growing. inside me.
for better or worse. i'm not you.
i can't live my life channeling the one true mom after you're gone. i can't do it. i can't do it. i can't. do it.
we have to deal with that.
neutral ground. what's up?
double.
don't flatter yourself. i always liked that line.
i love luke, i love the children. but there is more to life than even love.
and i have looked down the road. at what my life will be. and i can't handle it.
i never wanted to be a mom. then, sharing it with you was one thing. carrying it alone, the rest of my life.
well, it's the jack kennedy syndrome, huh? you die young, you always look golden. perfect. the memory kind of burnishes the image, and.
maybe i was wrong on that one.
look, when i said i couldn't channel you. that didn't mean i wouldn't give my right arm to do just that.
maybe i don't want to be looking over my shoulder. every day for twenty years. knowing someone else would have done it right. the way i can't.
you're lying.
you are lying, you never lost that kid for 4 seconds, you could find him from a coma, there is no way!
ben never mentioned it.
uh. you hate my guts?
with good reason. they fucking worship you as it is.
everything. you're. the earth mother incarnate.
you ride with annabelle.
you know every story, every wound, every memory, their whole life's happiness has been wrapped up in you, every moment.
don't rush me. i'm deciding.
i'm gonna check on mom.
hey, gorgeous. time for the presents?
now edna says you short-changed your last meds. you can do presents and be comfortable at the same time, y'know.
you know, there's nothing you have to say. because they know your heart. you don't have t.
you can do this.
you can do anything.
see, i told you i'd do this.
only. now i don't know what to say.
you'd have written it down, so you wouldn't blow it.
maybe we should change places.
well. we were less than friends, i guess. and more.
we were never. girlfriends, we never dished. that wasn't. what we had.
we had some battles, man, they were. world class, huh? and i don't regret a one of them.
i miss them.
we've got our secrets, we have. and i'll keep 'em if you will.
but i wish we had one more night. in that little bar, remember? remember that toast? sure, you do.
know what? i forgive me, too. see? you're the magician.
don't worry, partner, i've got your back. we're covered.
now i know the tradition, so this isn't a toast. at least.  not for me.
the guest list is 114. but we all know there's one more here, tonight. because.
my two sidekicks there always bring her along. wherever they go.
so jackie and i were sitting around. on new year's eve. and she said, 'you're not gonna talk at my funeral, are you?'
and i said, 'i've never been to a funeral. i'm not sure i'll know how to act'
'. but i'll prob'ly sneak into where you are. just before it's over'
'. say something. just to you. get the last word in, when you can't talk back.'
so she says, 'no way.'
she wrote this. she sealed it up, i didn't see it. she made me promise to read it. at the wedding.
i told her she'd better make it dirty, or make it funny. because.  no way. on my wedding.
could she make me cry.
she says, 'it's a deal'.
now, if it's too raunchy, we may have to excuse the kids.
you promised.
It's. no big thing, really.  it's just. five words, it's.