i-i'm sorry - can someone else please run the ouija board? it's creepy, it's wrong and it goes against the teachings of my lord and savior, jesus christ.
well technically, i don't think i'm a virgin anymore.
yeah. this summer at church camp? i'm pretty sure i had, y'know, an orgasm.
okay, one night, around sunset, i went horseback riding with the nuns. they went every night. and, well, we're trotting pretty hard, y'know? the hard leather saddle, pounding between my legs.
all of a sudden, i feel.  i feel.  i feel just super alive.  "down there." i swear i thought it was the second coming.
but you're not married.
what?! no! not an abortion! my church can arrange for you to go to oregon and take care of a "sick aunt" for nine months. then they put your baby good home and you come back - a little dazed and puffy - but everything's fine! oh please, di, don't be a whore and a murderer!
i-i didn't mean to say "whore," diane. i just hear it so much at church - it kinda came flying out of my head.
you want us to help you pick up?
no.
or, i could get my own horse.
so, while it's a laugh riot for the whole family, and tim conway is just about as funny as they come, especially when he goes.
i'm only allowed "g" movies.
those of us who have parents, know that they have rules because they care!
uh. maybe?
look, maybe i can watch a pg movie.  i'll just say i'm counting dirty words for sunday school.
what kind of deal would you make if i said we were going to the police and tell them you're selling illegal guns.  to minors! to girl minors!
hey, i even took my parents' foster kid money. phillipe's gonna have to gather rice without pants this month.
maybe lucy's right. maybe this is a sign.
oh no! you committed the ultimate sin - you left our squad to be with a guy. and - and that guy is the devil himself - 'cause only the devil would turn you against your sisters!
bank branch!
all of you!
good to know, fern. good to know.
i feel like freakin' david and goliath.
we're dead! they showed this prison movie to my youth group on sunday.
it wasn't like the prison we saw - all these women had to shave their heads because they got lice from the filthy lives they'd lived! oh g-d, i'm gonna be someone's bald bitch!
my sunday school teacher says that in prison, women shove broom sticks up your.
and a "bitch slap." i bet that really hurts!