bet your ass i have. it's an important job, neighborhood watch is.
these ain't strangers, they're neighbors. this only picks up signals in a half-mile radius.
meaning these are the people you live amongst, you got a right to know if they're creeps. for instance, did you know there's a guy down the hall cheating on his wife?
i confirmed it on the scanner. i knew something was up because puffy used to bark like hell whenever he saw him and you know puffy only barks at bad people.
that's because there's a lot of bad people out there. hey, puffy tried to warn you about that steve guy you was seeing--he was a fucking asswipe--but you had to find out for yourself, didn't you?
jesus, mary, you gotta hear this--some cop's staking out this broad's apartment.
this is a good one, mare. sounds like his partner's all lubed up.
ah, christ, i lost 'em.
so who's the lucky guy?
good lookin'?
what's he like?
what's a mook?
then why you going out with him if he's a schlep?
i don't watch the new ones.
that's exactly why i don't watch 'em anymore--it's bullshit! why the hell would an old lady go for a young kid?
fuck kindred spirits. my little puffy here's gonna tell you all you need to know about this guy in about two seconds flat. if he starts yapping, he's a loser; if puffy's relaxed. well, you got yourself a keeper.
you mean he doesn't like bad guys.
he can tell you're an animal nut. you are, aren't ya?
would you like a glass of tea or something?
oh, yeah, of course, dear.
would you like a little clam-dip, honey?
bundt cake?
all i had was some funny bones--how does that sound, honey?
would you hens quit ya cackling and let her do what she wants to do. puffy liked him and puffy's never wrong.
hey hey, what did you say pat's last name was?
i think you better listen to this.
i'm buying bananas tonight.
back when i was your age i always used to make myself a big banana split after sex. i think you're gonna need one tonight.
don't bet on it. last time i had a pap smear the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.
knock it off, pollyanna, just 'cause you're in love doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
oh no? i ain't seen you beaming like this since you broke ninety on the blue monster.
an old flame?
do i sense a chill in the air?
you vicious bitch, how do you sleep at night?
well look who's here.
oh, you are sweet.
puffy, get over here.
the little shit lied to me about that guy!
why you two never hooked up is beyond me.
oh, hi hon. just straightening up.
ah, he was being a pest so i put him in the bathroom.
stop it, you're hurting him!
what the hell's going on here?
aw, christ, i can't take it anymore. i'm gonna pack my bags and go back to my own place.