at-at-at-at-at. at-at-at-at-at.
at-at-at-at-at. at-at-at-at-at.
what does it look like i'm doing? i'm killing iraqis. at-at-at-at-at. at-at- at-at--
a headache?
i'm making you uncomfortable. baking away in a desert in the middle of nowhere facing three-hundred-thousand screaming iraqis with nerve gas scud missiles, that doesn't bother you. but me making a little noise is driving you out of your skull.
okay.
at-at-at-at-at.
don't get pissed at me, just 'cause i want to be ready when this war starts.
i told you, i'm shooting iraqis.
blow me.
we ought to kick their asses anyway. even if they do get out of kuwait we ought to kick their asses.
people are suffering.
we ought to kick their asses. either way we ought to.
when do you ever point the soles of your feet at people?
oh yeah. accidently.
i'm sorry. my foot accidently jumped up in the air where you could see the bottom of it. i hate it when that happens.
it was an accident. you saw it was an accident.
spanish wasn't hard enough?
what does that mean?
how do you say "come here, baby. i'm horny." i can use that now.
blow me. have i said that to you guys recently? blow me.
what is this?
hey, wes. wes!
what is this?
what is it? you know so much about arabland tell me what it is.
ask him what it is.
yeah, you're funny.
for real? a treasure?
there might be something in there.
there might be.
i could.
naw, nothing.
i'll show epps. he'll be sorry when i get this thing open.
i don't care if there's a lump of coal in here. i just want to be able to rub epps' face in it when i crack this thing.
what?
yeah. so?
like i said; so?
what's your point, wes? you have a point?
it doesn't mean anything.
okay, so we're going to war. we're supposed to go to war. we're soldiers, that's what we do. the guns, the tanks, the planes; you're just now getting the hint we're in the war business?
what!?
come on, man. i almost had this thing open.
the only thing i worry about is how much iraqi ass i'm going to be able to kick before this whole thing is over. the only people who i've got anything to worry about are the poor, dumb camel jockeys who don't know enough to get out of the way when i come rolling at them; an m-16 in each hand, and a grenade between my teeth. now if you'll excuse me, soldier, i'd like to get back to my box. i've got a treasure to find.
at-at-at-at-at. at-at-at-at-at.
at-at-at-at-at.
at-at-at-at-at.
this is stupid. it's going on a month now. how long are they going to let the air force piss on those bastards? they can bomb them all they want, saddam ain't going anywhere without a ground assault. what the hell is the army waiting for?
i've got to have something to tell people when i get home besides i protected a stretch of dirt that nobody wanted for nothing in the first place.
you know what, wes? if you get a note from your mommy they might excuse you from the war.
oh my god!
i did it! i got the box open.
it's. it's. i don't know what it is.
it's a drawing, or something. some kind of art.
you think?
woods.
i'm looking for a favor. i need a map of iraqi.
i could use some recon photos too.
just. want to be ready when we do.
the photos.
some good ones.
saddam's got a boil on his ass?
i don't know.
thanks, man. appreciate it.
no that's okay. i'm gonna. i'm doing some.
at-at-at-at-at. at-at-at-at-at.
they finally start the ground war, and where are we? same place we've been since we got here. securing freedom for the dirt.
i'd like to go home alive with a couple of iraqi scalps hanging from my belt.
that's it. it's over. eighteen hours into the war and it's over.
we. we could go home with something else.
with. with millions. millions of dollars.
wait. wait.
just listen to me! i've been doing some reading. in the sixteenth century this region was invaded by the turks. it became part of the ottoman empire. when the turks rolled in they raped, they pillaged, the usual stuff. anybody who had anything wanted to hide it from these bastards. they buried their treasures, drew maps, and hid the maps in puzzle boxes. i read about this, man. i read about it.
christ! wes, tell him. you know this stuff.
looks at this! look at it! the drawing is a map of this area right here. you can see it. the geography, the landmarks. it's the same area.
what we're doing is kicking ass. for god's sake they got iraqis surrendering to news crews. the war is over. we've just got to keep shooting people 'cause the army spent all this money, and we've got to put on a show for the taxpayers.
it's right here. this region; an-nagaf. i got recon photos. there're no troops there, no fighting--
it's about a hundred miles from where we are now. how long do you think it would take us to--
it's real. i'm telling you, it's real.
deserting what? what the hell are we deserting?
we disappear for awhile. we disappear, we came back; nobody knows nothing.
you know it's real. you know it's real, and you know it's there. you know it.
yes!
we go, we get rich, we go home. it's that easy.
roger that.
hell, we'll just buy our way out.
you're such a pussy, you know that? how'd you get in the army?
epps, is that a sand dune.
hey, wes, what kind of treasure you figure these people buried?
yeah. if. whatever. what kind you figure it is?
yeah! gold! how much?
you know what i'm doing with my part of the gold?
you know what i'm doing with my half?
yeah. i meant.  you know what i'm going to do with it? i'm going to buy a sixty- three 'vette stingray. all tricked out and cherry. i'm going to be so sweet.
a car is not just a car where i come from. i had this friend, had this wicked candy apple red sixty-four and a half mustang--
what are you going to do with your third?
oh, that's fun.
and i'm talking about enjoying myself.
wh-what do you think--
iraqis.
two vehicles. they're not supposed to be here.
they're not. i had the pictures. they're not supposed to be here!
we've got to do something. we've got to turn around.
they'll shoot us!
they're not going to--
yeah! yeah!
you see that? right by us. they went right by. you had them epps; you called it.
look at you, not even breaking a sweat. you're cool, boy. you're cool.
go, go, go!
steady it out!
i got him! you see that, i nailed him!
yeah, well, we're not.
we're not going anywhere. not 'til we get what we came for.
yeah. yeah, she's fine.
i'm just thinking, you know, if the rest of the boys knew what we're doing. i mean if they knew what we were coming back with.
i know. i know. but i'm saying, if they knew. we're going to be millionaires, man. millionaires!
millionaires, man.
ahh, there it is. there it is. you know it.
i know.
i didn't miss it. i figured if you knew one of the reserves got hit you'd want to turn back.
i figured. i figured you'd turn back.
we're not stranded. we've got enough gas in the other reserve to get us back.
as soon as we hit the mountain we would have had to go on foot anyway. we're not that far. we can make it.
we leave it.
who? who's going to take it. we mark the location with the navicom, we can come right back to this spot.
you have to go with us, wes.
you have to go with us. you can't walk back.
who's he kidding? he wants it as bad as we do. we're going to be fat, epps. as soon as we get back to saudivillie you and me are going to--
i got that. sir.
hey. hey! slow up. you don't have to go so fast.
yeah. i know. i'm with you.
i'm gonna. i'm just gonna stop for a little water.
i'm just going to have a little sip, that's all. just a sip.
yeah. i'm right behind you.
can't even slow up for me. wasn't for me they wouldn't even be here. i'm the one that found the map. should have just come by myself. should've. shouldn't even cut them in. shouldn't.
epps.
epps!
mine.
mine. land mine!
i stepped on a land mine!
i heard it click.
i heard it.
jesus christ, i'm standing on a mine. shut up, and get over here!
oh, god! oh god!
it's a mine, isn't it?
how'm i gonna relax standing on a mine!?
where you going?
why you got to move away to talk!?
you're moving away because it's going to blow up, isn't it!? it's going to blow up!
epps.
epps.
epps, my leg is falling asleep.
my leg is falling asleep.
i'm the one who can feel my leg, and it's falling asleep.
how's this going to work?
that's going to do it, right? i'm going to be okay.
you're not going to let me die, are you!? don't let me die!
don't let me die, epps. i don't want to die.
oh, god. oh, god!
his feet just clear the outer edge of the fireball, but still get licked and burned by flames before he slams to the ground several feet from the explosion.
i'm all right. oh, jesus, i'm all right.
until we're out of the mine field is how long.
that don't mean nothing. iraqis could have just spread them out like that; make us think we're in the clear.
you're going to blow yourselves up.
you don't know that. it could be a trick.
it's the treasure, that's what it is.
the map.
the map.
just figure it's my map, i ought to hang on to it.
probably would've too if epps wasn't around to stop you.
yeah, i understand. wes doesn't want to come along in the first place, but he gets a third of the find. that's a sweet deal.
anytime you want to do something about it just let--
i don't hear any--
it's a fire fight.
what is it?
what are they doing here?
what are they doing in the middle of nowhere?
jesus! what the hell did he do that for? they're iraqis. why are iraqis killing iraqis?
the shi'ites are on our side? i didn't know that.
i know you're a pussy. i know that.
so?
so good bye, shi'ites. thanks for playing. we have some lovely parting gifts for you as you go.
funny you should say that while we're out looking for gold.
i've got a new agenda now, it's get rich. the only way the iraqis figure into that is not at all.
this is it. we're right on target.
think we can make it?
x marks the spot.
but the white dot in the middle; that's got to mean something.
maybe they're as scared of us as we are of them.
where is it? where'd it go?
where the hell is it!?
what are we going to do? what the hell are we going to do?
they're going to kill us!
if they land--
epps!
oh, god.
lines up with the map and the photos.
guess we know what the next stop is.
think there might be more iraqis?
yeah, we're down.
so where do we start?
what does it look like i'm doing?
i'm not. and i'm not doing anything, because there's nothing down here.
we've been digging. we've been digging for hours. if there was anything here to find we would have found it.
what's the point? there's nothing here. the map's a fake. christ, even i see that now. we're just wasting our time. we might as well give up and--
must be a compartment.
the white dot; light in the dark.
maybe we should blast it loose with the claymore.
jesus christ!
is it dead?
i think we found something.
it's gold!
it's not like i figured. it's cold. and it's heavier than i imagined.
you don't have to imagine it. not anymore. now all you've got to think up is what it's going to buy you.
wait.
we send the gold up what's to stop him from taking off and leaving us down here?
what's to stop him if he wanted to? all he has to do is cut the line.
why do i have to stay down here?
i don't see how that plan's any better.
yeah. yeah, that'll work.
wes, i'm coming up.
just had to get the pack unhooked from the line. it didn't seem that long.
wes might be right about that.
yeah. sure. that sounds like a plan to me.
with what? he doesn't have a weapon.
he lived through that?
maybe we should give him some water.
i think he wants something to drink.
so we'll take him with us. at least 'til we get back to the hummer.
we don't need to do this. we got the gold, all right? let's just get out of here.
for christ's sake, we don't need this. let's just go. let's just. let's just get out of here.
maybe we ought to. you know, bury him. say some words over him.
northeast? that's away from the hummer; further into iraqi.
it should, or it will? least going back the way we came we know what we're up against.
why don't you put the gun down, all right, wes? you put the gun down and epps'll put the pin back in the grenade. won't you epps?
you're going to burn up in those.
think the iraqi's killed them all?
wes. wes!
what are we going to do? how are we going to find our way back!?
how!?
yeah, i got a problem with you killing epps.
forget wes.
wes is dead!
then he will be when those iraqis get to him. he was going to kill you. he was one blink away from it. he's dead, epps, and i'm sure as hell not getting my head blow off over his carcass.
it's a helicopter.
ours, or theirs?
ours, or theirs?
no.
no.
they'll ask questions; want to know why we were out here.
they'll search the pack.
they'll find the gold.
i can't do it, epps. not when we're so close. i can't let you ruin everything.
i'm not like wes. wes was crazy.
i don't want it this way. i wouldn't kill you just to kill you, but i can't let you lose the gold for me. not when we're so close.
sit down, epps.
i'm sorry about that, epps.
oh, yeah. go ahead.
i'm glad i didn't have to kill you. i'm glad it didn't come to that.
i never killed anybody before. i talk a good game, but i'm not like that.
really, i'm not. remember how i was talking i wanted to blow away all those iraqis? that's all it was was talk. i was scared out of my mind to go to war. i still haven't gotten over stepping on that land mine.
what? yeah.
epps?
i don't want to die.
i know what i did just now was crazy, but you got to understand how much i want that gold.
i never had anything before, epps. i never was anybody. not the kind of somebody you can be with a pocket full of gold coins. when i was in high school i used to--
sorry.
what do you think our chances are?
wonder how the war's going?
you sure you want me too?
i pick that way.
getting cold.
epps. epps! i'm gonna stop for a second.
just let me rest for a second.
you know what i'm going to do? i'm just going to take a second. i want to look at the gold.
i just want to look at it. remind me of what i'm dying for.
yeah, but we made that deal while wes was still alive. he's gone. time for a new deal.
look.
what do you figure it is?
which boarder? saudi? kuwait? syria?
epps.
epps. what if they're not saudi.
if it's a checkpoint, it could be iraqi.
well?
yeah, i guess we should.
hell, they'll probably just surrender to us. probably.
probably.
ashra ka mahari dahra sahib! ashra ka mahari dahra sahib!
i don't know. something wes had taught me. i think it means "don't shoot. we're your friends."
oh, god.
what are we going to do?
and then what?
i. i never killed anyone before. i told you that.
can't you--
i just said i would. i don't think i--
epp. epps! there's someone at the window!
i don't know. he didn't have a uniform on. he. he had on white robes, like the guys who killed wes.
what do we do?
to where?
look!
what do we do?
jesus! how many of them are there?
what do you make of them?
is that good, or bad?
why haven't they killed us!?
maybe. maybe we can fight our way out.
we can't just sit here waiting to die.
maybe. maybe if we traded them the gold. if we gave it to them they might let us live; they might not kill us.
you were shot. we were standing right there, you were shot!
we had to take shelter in the checkpoint. jesus, wes, i killed the iraqis in there.
i didn't say that. i never said--
can you ride a horse?
they coming?
we lost them!
which way?
which way do we go!?
the. the gold.
when did you make the switch?
but.
what if it hadn't been wes? what if. i mean, accidently, what if i had.
well?
how do we do that?
why do i have to lie in the road?
yeah, but why me? what if the car doesn't stop?
epps.
i want you to know.  i don't know. i just think you're a hell of a guy.
this whole time, you've kept your head. you didn't go money simple like me and wes. you've just been trying to figure how to get us out of here. and you've been fair too. i mean, even after i. you know.
yeah. even after that. you didn't take it out on me, except for maybe making me lie in the middle of the road now. but i'd say you've been very fair. i just think it's a hell of a man who can keep from going money simple.
epps?
i'm thinking about taking a trip.
still am. there's more gold than i thought, and since there's only two of us now.  where should i go?
i've never been anywhere. i wouldn't know where to go. where would you go?
what?
really?
well, this is it. we get the car, find some americans. we find americans we'll be all right.
okay. see you in a minute.
epps, i don't think he's slowing down.
he's not slowing.
epps. epps!
aw, damn!
look at this.
what the hell are they doing? there're civilians in there.
don't shoot! don't shoot! they're civilians!
no!
i'm sorry, i guess. not for looking for the gold, or leaving my post. you know what it's like to have gold raining out of your hands? that'll give me enough to think about the rest of my days in the brig. i'm just sorry about wes. he was all right. it was the gold that made him what he became. if i hadn't found that map, if i hadn't talked them into going searching. wes just might have made it home after all. i guess i feel responsible for him.
yeah, well, i've been thinking about that. see, there was an explosion and everything, but i never really aaw epps get killed. and nobody ever found the gold. i guess they both could have been burned to slag. i guess. but there were a lot of bodies out on that road. a smart man could have found some identification to use. a smart man could have made his way up to syria or turkey. a smart man could have gotten himself right out of the middle east. a smart man with enough gold. way i figure, right about now old epps is sitting in a bar in sydney, or melboure, or maybe brisbane telling stories to one of the prettiest aussies you ever saw.
well, sir, i guess you don't know second lieutenant john epps very well, do you?