and so, it's somewhat fitting that we are here today. to christen this environmental research boat in venice - - 'venezia' - the port where marco polo sailed forth to explore the world's great uncharted oceans. that 2. 3 of the earth's surface where the sharks are not working members of the press. with our six custom designed sea-bed coring drills, we will probe the long-term effects of pollution; our sonars, radars, and research labs will study the wind, the water, and the sea life that so dearly feeds us. and so, in the spirit of international cooperation - thanking my good friend, valentin zukofsky - the newly elected president of the ukraine for all his assistance - i give this boat to mankind - selflessly - in pure charity asking nothing for myself. but the cable tv rights. miss venice? if you'll do the honors - now i'll take some questions from the press - even the few of you who aren't on my payroll. actually, my first choice was 'no comment.' so if someone asked where i was, i could truthfully respond 'no comment.' over there. no comment. the maiden voyage begins tonight. i have some business in london - but the ship will sail down the nile, across the south china sea, stopping in australia, winding up in san francisco. always nice to meet one of her majesty's fellow subjects. especially one with such distinguished friends. i can tell you're a man with an eye for exquisite possessions, mr. bond. darling! come here. i want you to meet my wife. paris harmsway, allow me to introduce you to james bond. but then. i believe you two have already met. my friends, there's been a terrible mistake. come. let me show you. i believe this is what you're looking for, colonel. is it uranium? absolutely. but watch - it's depleted uranium! completely safe! a child could sleep on it. i received it from the russian government - a by-product of their nuclear arms program - in the hopes that i could create tools for oceanographic research. it's what i was talking about: 'swords into plowshares'! the sprit of international cooperation! please. no harm done, don franco. go upstairs, and enjoy the reception. oh - mr. bond. one minute. i hope you've enjoyed this little charade. a piece of advice, mr. bond: don't screw with a man who buys ink by the ton. it's deadlier than uranium. aren't you late for a meeting? don't worry. mr. bond will get the message. so will his boss. i'm going to the plane. tell the captain to set sail at once. good morning, gentlemen. i'm sorry to bring you here under these circumstances, but considering our meeting was already scheduled, this was a happy coincidence. excellent, number one. build a better rat-trap, and the world truly will beat a path to your theme park. number two? outstanding, number two. by the way - number five - ? who's ahead in the american elections? maybe it's time to publish that story about his sex life. even things up. a close race is always better for our tv ratings. splendid. next. number three. your report? haven't we already paid him for his services? and there's no truth that 10% of that money will go into your swiss bank account? you disappoint me, number three. but because i am a just man, i've decided to give mr. hussein what he deserves. mr. stamper will escort you to the plane. good-bye, mr. azziz. let's proceed with new business. gentlemen: in exactly 36 hours, we are going to initiate phase one of the word's most perfect crime: the biggest theft in the history of mankind. right here. in the strait of malacca. lovely night for a shipwreck, isn't it? perfect. they'll be searching miles from here. time for phase two. you can get the men in the water. to the right, towards the stern. gentlemen: i do believe we've struck gold. four minutes ahead of schedule. remember the golden rule, mr. stamper: he who has the gold, rules. is the helicopter ready? good. we have an appointment in hong kong. general li: my young associate here has just informed me that if i waited a year, i could perhaps receive a higher price for this building. he has great faith in hong kong. as did my ancestors. with obvious results. thank you, general li. now i'll just sign this last document - of course! how foolish. more bad luck. i'll just borrow yours - an old chinese toast to our friends. confusion to the enemy. in 48 hours, that building - and all of hong kong around it - will cease to exist. morning, morning all. what have we got? pencil it in for the next trip - send him a $10,000 campaign contribution, and explain i have no control over what my journalists write - no - yes - excellent. morning, all my golden retrievers. what kind of havoc shall we create in the world today? good. better. boring - dog bites man. man bites dog is a news story. riots at the world cup soccer finals is a social announcement. next? is that so? i'm shocked!! issue the usual vehement protest: freedom of the press, people's right to know. lather it up with a lot of righteous indignation. next? elliot harmsway! i heard you were in k.l. and thought we might get together for a chat. oh, please, mr. bond. we live in the information age! information is currency - and with the right currency, you can have any piece of information. besides i own the phone company. what do you say? twenty minutes? let's find out exactly what he knows. mr. bond! nice to see you. come. let's get out of the noise. - i'll give you a tour of the building, then we'll talk. it's funny, mr. bond. of all the things i own, nothing gives me as much enjoyment as my newspapers. we print 31 newspapers here; another two-hundred-and-seventy at satellite plants around the world. all of them, mister bond. after you? before i became involved with paris, she was always involved with the most inappropriate' men. playboys. thrill seekers. middle aged peter pans who only brought out the worst in her. i tried to save her. but she remained a manic depressive: fits, inappropriate behavior. delusions of grandeur. the only difference between a psychopath and a genius, mr. bond, is the degree of success. still, i do miss her. i only wish she could have lived to see all this. by the way - what is it that brings you to kuala lumpur, mister bond? i call this the rogue's gallery. my third great uncle - the earl of aberdeen - negotiated the purchase of hong kong from the chinese. his son-in-law - george harmsway - made the first family fortune, running opium into shanghai. his son, thomas, who lost it, smoking the opium. and my grandfather henry, who opened the first telegraph station, and published the colony's first english newspaper. it was a city of unlimited possibility. because it's a dying city. since the chinese take-over, who knows what can happen tomorrow? in any case, this is my father, charles: a royal bastard who started the first radio and television stations. said i'd never amount to anything, but. i turned it into this welcome to the new world order, mr. bond. churchill had his armies; caesar had his legions; i have my divisions: news, sports, business, entertainment. and these are my foot soldiers: 2000 people working on 14 floors to feed 300 newspapers, 4 cable news networks, 87 magazines, and 29 different cable tv channels - in 35 languages. they're merely tools to disseminate information. fantastic idea mr. bond! perhaps i should buy it for a book! it's totally preposterous, but - you amuse me. . and now perhaps i can amuse you. let's see. first we have this james bond. i believe he's a field adjuster for lloyd's of london. then we have this james bond. licensed to kill. not a bad title for that book. or perhaps you'd prefer this james bond - who i believe they call "007." you see, mr. bond, you and i are both men of action. but your era is passing. words are the new weapons; satellites the new artillery. and make no mistake about it: in the right hands, they can be as deadly as your walther ppk. your choice. look at the time! come. there's someone i want you meet - about a story i'm thinking of publishing. hello, dear. i'm sorry i took so long - i see you two have met. don't pout, sidney. i invited him here hoping he might shed some light on your story. he's from 'lloyd's of london.' . aren't you, mr. bond? it seems - mr. bond - that miss winch has told me the most incredible story: a sunken british warship filled with gold; a british cutter firing on her; billions of dollars in bullion lying on the bottom of the strait. obviously, the british government denies all of this - - but as i've explained to sidney, without proof, there's just no story. don't you agree mr. bond? and what's that, my dear? i see. i believe it's a depleted uranium drill bit, my dear. well! i do believe this requires further investigation! no matter what the british government says, i won't kill this story. miss oxford will show both of you to the elevator. and one of my people will definitely be in touch sooner than later. good-bye, mister bond. good-bye, darling. stamper! they're not to leave this building alive! where are they? warn him! get more men up there! and so much for that. they're on the 72nd floor set-back. nowhere to go. i should have hired this man. get somebody up there! vert, very, good mr. bond. outstanding performance. why, i did, of course. it's on the sea dolphin ii, twenty miles outside of hong kong. not that it will do either of you any good to know. now both of you: stand up. and toss the gun out, mr. bond. oh, please, sidney. there's a hundred billion dollars at stake. besides, i never really liked your father that much. he cheated at cards. my guards are from south africa, mr. bond. this is their chance to get even with the formerly 'great' britain. now both of you. put your hands on your heads, and step forward. questions, questions, mr. bond. which i'm afraid i've neither the time, nor the inclination to answer. take them out to the jungle and - kill it! shoot the damn thing - seal the garage! cut the power! he's got no headlamps! - built to withstand a nuclear blast. are they alive? no. i have a better idea. in fact, mr. bond may have actually improved my original plan. bring them both to hong kong. and make sure he has nothing else up his sleeve. get the machine in the water! excellent. do come in mr. bond, sidney. you're just in time for a nuclear meltdown! please, sidney. i'd like to remember you fondly. start the grinders. precisely, mr. bond. in a matter of minutes, the boring device will arrive at the core of the reactor. and when the radioactive blades cut into the plutonium - chernobyl will look like a campfire. bore through. . they used to say living well was the best revenge, mr. bond. they're wrong. revenge is the best revenge. hong kong, mr. bond! a hundred and fifty years ago, my ancestors took this island - a barren, lifeless rock - and turned it into the greatest city known to modern civilization. and now that i'm being forced to give it back, i intend to return it in exactly the same condition: a barren, lifeless rock. the gold is merely reparations - payment from the spineless british government who wouldn't listen. smash through it! laugh all you'd like, mr. bond - but you fit perfectly in to my plans. here. this just in. newsflash. read all about it. as the advertising says: tomorrow never lies. thirty seconds. that's the most brilliant part of the plan, mr. bond: to save the economy, i'll let the new british government - my british government - announce that the gold was irradiated in hong kong - where no one will be able to touch it for a hundred years. and just by coincidence: gold mine opens in vietnam. let's go. put them in the airlock. who, mr. bond? the kooks - the crazies - the conspiracy theorists? the oliver stones of the world? i'll publish their books, i'll make their movies, i'll put them on my tv shows! they're my bellboys. they carry my luggage. now. get them in the airlock. how sweet. take the girl. leave the handcuffs. we'll drown her at sea. i'll meet you on the boat, south of lantau island. you come with me - you stay here. any news? alert the media! you're so cute, my dear. but i'm afraid not. put her in the storage room. we'll get rid of her when we're in international waters. set sail, full speed, due south. i'll be in my cabin. let me know when mr. yung arrives. we'll break out the champagne. yes? what the hell is going on? what the hell is going on? kill him! finish it! stamper! report in! pity you'll miss your obituary. you want to kill me, bond? go ahead. what is it, bond? you haven't the guts? we all go down together!!!