where is he? he's supposed to be here.
eric. you're such a hummingbird.
so go dance.
i. don't. dance.
kelly. he looks like his face caught fire and he tried to put it out with a fork.
we're done with that already, bonehead.
i'm thinking.
could i lose one ear and one nut?
hypotheticals --
jamie sullivan.
cherry.
if you want the lights off, i'll turn them off.
right here. with you.
don't call him a dipshit.
and you don't. what's she doing in there?
shit!
the address?!
what number?
dildoes.
you okay?
belinda?
kelly wouldn't do that.
cuz nothing happened at school.
why not? it always has before.
like i'd grow up to be president, another reagan.
i'm no dummy.
those aren't mine.
i wasn't the one drinking.
you expelling me?
now i can do what i want.
mom. i need a ride.
i'm not hanging. i'm fixing my car --
'bout what?
i'm not working there.
who's he in with?
you expelled, too?
i want to come back.
i want to graduate.
i'd do that --
please.
for pay?
i'm as underprivileged as they are --
i'd work backstage or something?
when do i get time for me?
then you remember more than i do.
a star frame.
that was a joke. laugh.
i don't want his money.
-- i like the car i have.
-- 'so what is the measure of angle x if a and b are similar triangles?'
know what 'similar' means?
-- this your idea of small talk?
-- obviously.
were?
your book and your brown sweater and your hair. what's more to know -- ?
you don't care what people say?
like what? the moons of jupiter?
i don't want to have any conversation.
what's the play?
-- and the ugly farmer's daughter falls for him. i saw the movie.
-- it blows.
'i hope your dreams come true.'
'believe in yourself and they will. let me ask you, lizzie. look in the mirror? are you pretty --?'
no, it just comes naturally.
'it's got to be inside you. then one day the mirror will be the eyes of the man who loves you. you'll look in that mirror and you'll be more than pretty. you'll be beautiful.'
'look at me. tell me what you see!'
'yes. you're-you're b-b- beautiful.'
no way. no thanks. i can't do it --
you're like this fly, buzzing buzzing everywhere --
this play -- ?
-- what are you going on about?
that's deep --
my act?!
a ride?! please!
we can talk about your helping me with my lines.
then we both know. i'll point. you drive. faster.
yeah.
because that's where the fire is?
fire is like a living thing. wild. unpredictable.
no. not like you.
what the -- ?!
yes!
yeah. kelly'll make me leave school if i screw up the play.
what's with the friggin numbers?
i'm an enemy?
good thing.
you got some kind of list?
maybe a little of both.
go for it.
having a cigarette. 100.
so what else is on this list?
you want to tell me.
get very wasted. lose your virginity --
ambitious.
like you'd know.
what's.  number one?
no problem --
fathers love me.
hey. landon carter.
lead man.
they took my license for 30 days. but nobody's pressing charges.
don't bother!
you know our planet would not suffer for one nanosecond if humans died off. but if ants disappeared, that would be catastrophic.
apropos of nothing.  so. so so so so --
he's a softy. got him wrapped around my finger.
know so.
yes.
yeah. maybe. i dunno.
yeah. but that can be good.
why are we here?
the world of the dead?
my father's alive but it's like he's dead.
what is that?
saturn. beautiful.
but there are thousands of them, made of floating ice --
or building blocks for a world that never formed.
i'm not smart. just a sponge.
looking for intelligent life?
do you believe you'll see your mother again?
the dirty snowball at its core.
in 76 years, me neither.
you're really into god, right?
yeah.
but you think about him -- it -- her.
not really.
like in a church painting. i see this giant hovering over the ground. he's wearing a robe, and has long flowing hair, and he's pointing his finger at something.
no.
there is no point. you live. you die. the end.
you have to believe to have faith.
the bible. why should i read a bunch of dumb stories about some ancient guy who supposedly worked miracles.
your father doesn't like me.
sometimes i don't even trust me.
likewise.
she's very confused.
demented.
heart be still.
i'm really glad you think so.
you guessed right.
because she doesn't know what a hint is.
jamie? open up. open the door. please. reverend sullivan, i have to talk to your daught--
you're not in a very good mood.
the play's in a couple of weeks.
i was hoping we could run lines together.
yeah --
belinda's a very jealous person.
that's it! exactly! you're reading my mind --
why do you have to be so weird?!
let's get outta here.
you, me, and the basket. we're the three corners of a triangle. take one step in.
am i at the same angle to you and the basket as before?
are you?
so what did we just make?
what else? what kind of triangle has three sides of different lengths.
okay. make me an isosceles.
yes! two sides the same.
'.  you'll look in that mirror and you'll be more than pretty. you'll be beautiful. look at me. tell me what you see!'
'yes. you're beautiful.'
belinda!
who invited you?
not hungry.
like you walked away from us?
she's not. she's got her own ideas.
maybe to you.
it was.
scamming's a strong word.
you weren't in school yesterday.
he okay?
you were great the other night.
i haven't been nice to you.
i'm sorry.
later.
and that would ruin your reputation how?
what's that?
how many books are there?
that on your 'life list.' to read all those books?
jamie. maybe i want to try being positive.
maybe i miss doing that dumb play with you.
maybe you inspire me.
which part?
it's not.
i just did!
jamie --
okay. maybe some of that is true --
i don't want to be just your friend --
you don't either. take a look at yourself. maybe you're scared that someone might actually like you --
because then you couldn't hide behind your books and your telescope and your sweater and your god.
but the real reason you're scared? you like me!
if you were really my friends, you'd be helping me, not running me down.
that's over. way over.
dad came to the play.
we talked. he wanted to get a bite -- after. i said no.
he wants to show now.
about enough to buy maybe five volumes in a set of encyclopedias.
yeah, with a finish in about a decade.
so you're talking to me?
what's number one on your list?
my number one would be getting out of beaufort.
what does that mean?!
you're fine like that, mom.
thanks.
me neither.
i need to go out.
no. i won't be long.
it's a present. take it.
merry christmas! and to all a good night!
for me. christmas is all about the smells.
pine's my favorite. that and cider with cloves.
landon carter. i was driving the car that --
me.
i'm very sorry --
i don't know that i am -- a man. yet. i'm working on it.
no. thanks. gotta keep my wits for the drive home.
i will.
it's got a new v-6 and transmission. alloy wheels. twelve hundred.
new paint. extra chrome. not a scratch anywhere.
reconditioned. completely. be a collector's someday. twelve hundred.
i don't. i expect you to pay me for yours.
for jefferson high. for books.
it's mine to give. i didn't steal it.
hey.
she great or what?
no. but are you -- impressed?
what?
new year's eve. would you go out with me?!
why not?
reverend sullivan. can i ask you something?
yes, sir.
i'd like to take jamie to dinner on new year's eve.
i'm sorry i haven't always treated jamie the way -- i should have. she deserves better.
i care for her.
i wouldn't do that --
ever again.
start the engine.
again.
one more time.
you came here to give me my report card?
thank you.
i wanted this to be a date.
i have to get you home by one.
we're going somewhere. after. and no. i didn't ask your father.
your turn.
i know you want to.
bring the air all the way up from your stomach.
before we do this.
before we do this, i just want to say that a good life's gotta be about more than achieving stuff -- like on your list.
it's about working with what you already have -- right now -- at your fingertips -- you know, spontaneously.
that little bit of larceny in your heart.
fun.
swing! keep your bat parallel to the ground. follow through. follow through!
let's go.
the cells in our bodies are always changing. in six or seven years all your cells have changed. you could be like a completely new person from the inside out.
get out. come on.
stand right here.
you're straddling the state line. you're in two places at once.
repeat after me.
i'm gonna teach you.
you're sometimes not sure?
we can measure wind.
what do you actually know with religion?
maybe you're not supposed to.
i might kiss you.
not possible.
i love you, jamie.
now's when you say something.
loved?
hey, reverend.
happy new year.
what's your damage?
assholes. this happen to you?
now they all match.
what's wr--?
come on.
away from here.
before the divorce. my father used to take me here. fire spotting was his summer job.
from here he proved to me the earth isn't flat. on rainy days, we'd be above the clouds.
look. talk. not talk.
what'd you tell your father?
when did you build this?
where's the one you're building?
wait, back up. you lied?
mars.
a thermos of hot coffee. a blanket. socks.
hoped for it.
no. why? are you seducible?
that's what i thought.
ergo, a second blanket. one for me, one for you.
what about your father?
where's pluto?
what's the best thing i can see tonight?
can you locate xxi5639i?
because i had it named for you. i know it's not an official designation --
okay. i'm stopping.
what's number one?
late night. you?
yeah.
i could take after dad, too.
i meant he's a doctor.
i could do it if i tried. even kelly thinks so.
whatever my life is, i'm going to be friggin' sure i'm never disappointed --
mom, great. but what i want is for me to be proud of me.
no.
like what, sir?
okay. sure. my grandfather. when he was seven, he shook the hand of an old guy, a war vet or something, who had once shaken president lincoln's hand. made a big impression on him.
my cousin mike. he's from a big family. he's the fifth kid. he heard that every fifth child in the world is chinese. so he thought he was.
we didn't tell him any different for years --
since i was five. my mom's a cocktail waitress.
materially or spiritually?
i don't know. we used to try to believe in each other.
hey, belinda.
clay, eric.
i don't care.
that what you do?
one of your secrets.
you're worried about your college applications.
but you said --
you're going to take a year off? join the peace corps -- ?
what are you going to -- ?
where? why?
jamie --
then i'll take you home. you'll feel better tomorrow.
why didn't you tell me?
including me?!
i'm not letting you die.
how -- how long does she have?
so you've given up.
praying.
if there is a god, how could he let this happen??!!
dr. carter!.  carter!.  dad! please!! i have to talk to you!!
open the door! please!!
you have to save her!
it's jamie -- my girlfriend -- she has cancer -- you have to come look at her -- right now!
i don't give a shit what time it is!
you're a doctor, aren't you?!!
i didn't know either.
he can't do anything.
i told him to leave me alone.
it was the only thing i've ever asked him!
i have no idea what to say. how to act. what if i do the wrong thing?
where's jamie?!
finally feels her gaze, turns to look.
runs to her.
jamie!
i'm so sorry. i'm a coward --
i made you do too many things, kept you up all night --
are you frightened?
you have me.
i will.
they're going to build a tunnel under the english channel. they're calling it the chunnel.
you hungry?
anything you want.
slim jim? apple? yogurt? you like yogurt.
not very original. happy valentine's day.
there. you gave me a chocolate.
what are you thinking?
now? we just --
you have a key?
i've talked to your father.
sir. being ignored is beginning to feel preferable to being noticed.
i'll be honest. i don't know if i can pray, but i can do just about anything else.
whatever you need. whatever jamie needs. i'm here. i could start by driving her to school --
say nothing. nothing 'bout her.
too late and not enough.
i know it means not graduating, but i need to be excused from all school acti--
i was going to fake it.
how you doing?
time seems to be slowing down and speeding up at the same time.
hey.
you okay?
i'm not tired.
where's jamie's book?!
the next book on that list! the old man and.  and.
yeah. i need it today!
i'll tell her you were here.
i'm sorry about how we --
and i have no idea why.
hey.
'what is a friend? a single soul dwelling in two bodies.' aristotle.
'find out who you are and do it on purpose.' dolly parton.
'love is always patient and kind. it is never boastful or conceited -- '
how're you doing?
i know.
because you have hope that you'll get better?
i'll talk to your father.
what are you doing here?
now it's okay?
thank you.
everything's being done but it's not enough. i have to find something -- more.
i don't mean about jamie being sick. i mean about jamie and me.
mom, i'm not going anywhere. not yet anyway.
considers the photo, finds a page to tuck it into.
'i cry to you my lord, my rock! do not be deaf to me, for if you are silent, i shall go down to the pit like the rest. hear my voice raised in petition as i cry to you for help, as i raise my hands, my lord, toward your holy of holies.'
i have to finish it tonight.
i've almost finished the rocker. did she order mirrors?
i'm using an old phonographic turntable.
a chrome-plated brass pipe from a drain line.
you know about this stuff?
i thought she built it herself.
i need to do this alone.
a few minutes ago. i have to ask you something.
we're going out.
you'll be fine for a few minutes.
wait a sec.
we have five minutes.
you love me?
will you do something for me?
but if you could, you would?
will you marry me?
yes. you?
i'm -- i'm returning something.
this belongs to you.
she taught me -- everything. she saved my life.
yes.
i'm sorry she never got her miracle.