i feel good. i feel great. i feel wonderful! i feel good. i feel great. i feel wonderful! i --
i feel good. i feel great. i feel wonderful! i feel good, i feel great! i feel --
morning, gil.
mrs. lions, i'm bob wiley. i represent the manhattan dental hygiene association. i can offer you a forty percent discount on our toothpicks plus a very attractive selection of toothpick holders if.
bob.
elementary school? i thought you were overton cafeteria?
i don't know. a young tooth is a terrible thing to waste. i should know. when i was that age nobody gave a hoot about my teeth and now they're terrible! have you checked out flavored floss?
all you have to do is dream pink gums, patsy, and we can make them happen. give me your address and i'll send you our flossing catalogue.
i feel good, i feel great, i feel wonderful.
i'm going to see dr. leo marvin.
elevator. thanks.
i feel good, i feel great, i feel wonderful.
hi.  i'm.  bob.
dr. marvin. bob wiley. thank you for working me in.
your family? wait, let me guess. i'm good at this. harriet, kenny, gretchen, rita. wait wait, i know i'm close. susan, steven, andrea, rita. wait --
lily.  i was close! what a wonderful family!
do i call you dr. marvin or leo?
call me bob.
thank you.
i guess i'm on, huh? well, the simplest way to put it is, i have problems. i worry er, about diseases. i have trouble with toothbrushes. and i, er, i have problems moving.
as long as i'm in my apartment, i'm okay. i have a phone job -- selling dental supplies -- and that's fine. but when i have to go out, i get, weird.
i get dizzy spells. nausea. cold sweats. hot sweats. fever blisters. difficulty swallowing. difficulty breathing. blurred vision. involuntary trembling. dead hands. weak ankles. twitching. fainting spells. numb lips. do you think that's normal?
i do?
you're right!
well. what if i break my neck and become paraplegic? what if my heart stops beating, or i can't find a bathroom and my bladder explodes? you ever heard of tourette's syndrome. you know, where you involuntarily shout profanity?
i have a neighbor who got it. yells "oh shit!" in church. "douche bag!" at customers at his job. pretty funny, actually, unless you're the one with the disease. then it's sad. oh shit eating son of a bitch! just kidding. twat loving douche bag!
sometimes, if i fake it, i know i don't have it. like, when i think my heart is gonna stop. i fake it so i know it's not happening.
if i can't make it happen, i know it's not happening. i know it's all in my mind.
get away from me with that knife! see?
divorced, actually.
the world is divided into two types of people: those who like neil diamond and those who don't. my ex-wife loves him.
dr. marvin, do you think you can help me?
are you kidding, i'll do anything!
baby steps.
baby steps.
baby step.  through the office.
baby step.  out the door.
it works!
all i have to do is take one small step at a time and i can do anything!
baby step around the office. baby step around the office! fay, sigmund, anna, lily: hi fam! he's a genius!
vacation?
that's a whole month! what if i need you? what if i need to talk?
can i call you in the hamptons if i need you?
i hear maine is great this time of year.
let's see.  baby step through the office. baby step out the door.
baby steps to the hall. baby.
it's the catskills, isn't it?
sorry. baby steps. baby steps.
you flying or driving?
baby steps, he'll be back. baby steps, he'll be back.
baby step to the elevator. baby step to the elevator.
baby step to the elevator. baby step to the elevator.
bob.
i sure would.
i sure would.
i'd love it.
but i can't. i really want to but i can't. it's bird intestine and beef brain.
bob.
hi, mom.
i found this great psychiatrist who abandoned me.
mom, that's a terrible thing to ask.
it's lovely mom.
mom, i'm sorry! all i wanted to do was talk. i'll go.
oh, mom.
oh mom.
i love you, mom.
baby step across the street. baby step across the street.
i feel good, i feel great, i feel wonderful.
whoa!.  you're really getting big.
what a bruiser. hi little bobby!
oh, becky, let's get married again.
but i want a baby. a family! i want to burp him and change him and.  love him! why couldn't it have been with me?
really?!
right.
bob.
i don't want harmon, i need marvin!
look, there seems to be some confusion. you see, dr. marvin, uh, leo, wanted me to call him but i lost his number.
but you could call him and ask him to call me.
i know, but i'm a mess. worse than usual.
i'd feel better if i just knew where you were. it's martha's vineyard right?
couldn't we just talk?
fire island?
hi, this is bob. leo and i got cut off.
what?
thanks. you were fantastic.
dr. marvin, please don't be angry. it's bob. i know i shouldn't call this way but --
i know but--
oh that wasn't smart! oh that wasn't smart.
suicide. we think. forty stories. free fall. splat.
now our records show that bob made several calls to this number just before he died. did either of you know bob personally?
that's interesting. what happened?
uh huh.
oh? why not?
ah.
michigan?
right.
that's okay. i'm sure we can find him if we need him.
i frankly wouldn't let it bother me. this guy had "sky diver" written all over him if you know what i mean.
how many tunnels does it pass through again? how many bridges?
baby steps, board the bus. baby steps, board the bus.
baby step, board today. baby step, board today.
baby step, down the aisle. baby step, down the aisle.
hi. i'm bob.
ah!! would you knock me out, please?! hit me in the face, whatever you have to do, just knock me out!
dr. marvin! dr. leo marvin!
dr. marvin! dr. leo marvin!
dr. leo marvin. dr. leo marvin.
leo marvin. dr. leo marvin!
dr. marvin. it's you!!
dr. marvin! it's me, bob!
hi! this is gil. it must be fate that i found you so quickly!
is this a bad time?
oh no, they told you? i fibbed a little but.  don't be mad. oh.
the fam.
you're angry.
you're upset.
then can't we just talk?
but you can't just send me away! i've read your book, i've been doing what you told me, but i've completely relapsed! a little time would mean so much. please.
absolutely.
but i can't go anywhere! i'm all locked up!
barely!
please just talk to me. just a little talk.
a teeny tiny talk. an itty bitty talk.
pretty please.  pretty please with sugar.
say you will. please, say you will.
you'll meet me?!
oh my god, you're the greatest!
i trust. i absolutely trust. i'll go buy my ticket. right now!
you couldn't possibly make it three thirty, could you?
four it is. four o'clock exactly. thank you, dr. m.
baby step to four o'clock. baby step to four o'clock.
i feel good, i feel great, i feel four o'clock!
huh?
oh. thanks.
thank you.
can you make it four o'clock? dr. marvin's supposed to call me then but i'm going crazy.
do you know him?
no problem. i'm his patient but he doesn't want me near him.
i'm sorry. don't be mad. the guttmans brought me.
thank you mr. and mrs. g.!
i saw your picture. i'm bob.
hi. i'm bob.
oh, mrs. m. you're even prettier than your picture.
you do? you finally think so too?!
you too.
great place. no wonder the guttmans wanted it. i really feel bad about barging in like this.
you do?
ever since i can remember.
i baby stepped. i owe it to you.
er.  i don't know.  it's all owned by you, that's obvious. humm.  everything's from a garage sale!
it's wonderful. the lake. the trees. the little town.
sure.
er, because you're on vacation?
why else would i be here?
i don't need pills. i have plenty of pills.
it says: "a vacation from my problems."
my problems.
doctors orders.
that's it?
this is.  incredible! this is astounding!! for the first time since menningers i feel free! i knew coming up here was the right thing to do!
you've given me a great gift, doctor. the gift of life. you're a great man.
have a great vacation!
a vacation from my problems. you bet i will!
my fish.
you must be sigmund.
hi. this is gil. my fish.
no. he's a city fish.
your father is the most incredible psychiatrist in the world! you better appreciate him.
have a great vacation, fam.
vacation from my problems. take a vacation from my problems. a baby stepping, lazy stepping vacation from my problems.
good morning! i'll bet you're surprised to see me!
when i walked out of here last night i said to myself, "dr. marvin's absolutely right. take a vacation from your problems. blow em off. just say 'no'." so i did!
no i'm not.
of course not. i'm taking a vacation. this isn't an appointment, i'm dropping by. i told the guttmans what you said and they found me a cottage nearby.
yeah, the town is packed but i guess if you know the right people.  anyway, i know we can't work but let's get the friendship thing going.
i'm a little anxious about being here by myself but i don't want to barge in. i'll call. give my best to the fam and see ya around, okay?
i almost forgot, here's your newspaper. see ya.
you guys up for going out to breakfast?
eating in. i admire that.
vacation from my problems. take a vacation from my problems. there's nothing to fear, there's nobody here. nothing to fear there's nobody here!
just to.  town. buy some, kleenex.
i don't think your dad would like you picking me up.
he seemed pretty upset this morning.
interview?
wow.  so that's the problem! and i thought he was upset about me!
he is?
sure.
er, skinny, i think.
what do you mean?
what'd he do, buy a porsche?
sounds like my friends to a tee. you seem to be doing okay now.
i have the same problem.
or what?
well. it sounds like your dad never learned to leave his work at the office.
you'll make some man very happy someday.
buying kleenex.
well, i.  i, er.
actually, it's not that i don't want to go. it's just that i've never been on a boat and i'm not sure i can handle it.
just thinking about gives me hives.
you're right, this is great! i never actually thought i could do this. i never thought this could be me!
hey doctor m, look at me! i'm sailing!
did you see me out there?! i'm getting better all the time.
hey, siggy.
sorry. didn't mean to sneak up on you.
face a fear and it goes away.
hit it. fast. while it isn't looking.
if i'm not hopeless, nothing's hopeless.
let's try something i saw in a pirate movie.
don't think about boiling oil!
or searing acid!
our father, we commit this soul to the sea.
dr. m., watch this!
get away. get away!
gee, is that true?
that looks scrumptious.
did i do something?
mmmm. mmmmm. this sure is good. mmmm. mmmmm. mmmmm.
oh. sorry, leo. would you pass the salt?
i'm sorry. you said in your office that i could call you leo.
hey, that's right, i heard about your upcoming debut. congratulations.
your book's going to do a lot of people a lot of good, le-- dr. marvin. i'm walking proof of that.
don't panic! i know what to do!
well i.  do you have a dacron pillow?
are you sure i'm not imposing?
yeah. excuse me.
i'd prefer facing southeast.
yeah.
sick. you ever had a bee buzz your face that wouldn't go away?
when i was twelve, i had one buzz me for three weeks.
whoa. you got some heavy stuff here. denial of death, fear and trembling, sickness unto death.
he lets you read this stuff?
yeah?
sure. are you kidding?
well.  the way i figure it, if it weren't called "death", it wouldn't be so bad. i mean what if it were called "dink"?
then it would be fine. we'd say "grandma dinked." "the garbage man dinked."
exactly. then we wouldn't worry anymore.
'course we'd still have to worry about barrett's esophagus and black water fever and tourette's syndrome.
booger head!
sorry.
yeah, dad.  leo.  dr. marvin.
we got carried away. we won't do it again.
sure. would you like something for sleep?
i've got valium if you need it.
halcyon? seconal?
i'll be quiet.
it's my fault, mrs. m., we should have been quieter.
bed bugs!
oh right. 'night.
mrs. m!
would you mind leaving it cracked?
ahhhh!
baby stepping down the stairs. baby stepping down the stairs!
hello! is this a beautiful day or what?
i had the most incredible dream last night, i --
is this something you want me to work out on my own?
well. you've been right about everything so far. god, therapy is a fascinating process. 'bye mrs. m. thank you for everything. 'bye anna. see you later.
you know me. i won't. so long, ass wipe of the universe!
later, fart smelling douche bag! maria shriver's here.
i'm bob.
can i use the bathroom?
false alarm. sorry.
okay.
long time? i wouldn't call it a long time. what? three or four days?
why you sly dogs, he was right! i want to say that if more wisdom, or more empathy, or more pure intelligence exists than exits in this man, i want to know about it. do you know that he actually had me sleep here last night? in his jamies, using his toothbrush!
i'll say and i've been to them all. doctors who made you beat pillows.
doctors who make you scream.
but this doctor has something simple. baby steps.
baby step across the room. baby step across the room.
are you getting the book?
let me tell you what i used to be like before i met dr m.
eleven years ago i was not the man you see today. eleven years ago.
sure. as long as my doctor gives permission.
is it something, i said?
is this aversion therapy?
okay.
the fam is hurt. i've hurt them. i didn't mean to. certainly they realize that. i've hurt the fam. hurt the fam. i've hurt the fam.
hi fam! bye fam!
i hurt the fam.
i could apologize. but then i'd have to go back and i'm not sure they want me. i hurt the fam. that much i know. hurt the fam.
sure.
this has to be some kind of test. i know i hurt them but they have to know i didn't mean it. if it's a test.  i ate a hot dog.
i ate a hot dog!
dr. m! dr. m., i've had a breakthrough! i ate a hot dog! i'm driving a boat! thanks to you!
i'm really making progress now! i feel like a whole new world is opening up!
my childhood memories are rushing over me like a flood!
what?
i never had a father, really. dad left one morning and never came back. my earliest memory is mom with a suitcase. do you think that's significant?
i'd like to do some free association about my infancy: a beachball. a dog. a frog. a log. poodle, noodle, doodle.
will do!
wherever we're going, fay wants us home by seven.
it's a combustible relationship, isn't it? is it just you and me or is it you and everybody? so what's the big surprise?
really?!
yeah! but what brought this on now?
wow. this is exciting.
where are we?
new pal? what's wrong with my old pal?
hey! don't touch me! i have seizures! dr. m! dr. m!!
wait, i've another one. who knows the difference between freud and moses?
well if you don't know, i'm going to another clinic!
so a psychiatrist and a psychologist go into a bar and order bloody marys.
intensive psychotherapy? -- boy, you weren't kidding, were you? i mean even dr. t. didn't think i needed that. look i have an idea -- how are your afternoons? i mean since we're here together with nothing else to do, what say we work from two to four, something like that?
are you saying you'd prefer mornings?
what is this, isolation therapy?
you're the doctor.
need any help?
remember: be home by seven.
happy birthday, dr. m!
i couldn't miss your birthday!
i'm fine. it's your dad i'm worried about. how is he?
i can't either. but one thing i've learned about psychiatrists: they're brilliant manipulators. i trust your dad completely. i'm sure everything he's done has been to help me. how come you aren't making a move on george stark?
no, you've talked about it and i've listened. in my opinion, george stark's smile is not oedipal regression and it's not confused libido. it's one good looking guy drooling over you, anna marvin.
go ask if you can put your tongue in his mouth. i hear it works every time.
a pleasure. i'm neurotic too.
only in a good way. sit down.
it must be nice having an analyst in the family.
you're kidding?!
me too.
i'll stay.
really?
listen to your mom, siggy. all of you get out of here, okay? i'll straighten up before i go and when dr. m. comes home, everything will be exactly the way he likes it.
you give george a chance okay?
give me leather, ass wiping bastard head.
bye, fam.
i guess this is good-bye, fam.
dr. m.! everybody's looking for you.
okay. you're the doc.
where we going hiking?
is this is a new form of therapy?
death therapy. i like it.
this is pretty imaginative, dr. m. will this be in your new book?
great. ow. that hurts. ow.
what is this now, pain therapy?
ow! ahh! ow! that really hurts.
dr. m, this hurts!
i'm worried about getting gangrene, dr. m! i think i get the point!
at least i think i get the point. maybe i'm not supposed to sit here. maybe i'm supposed to undo these outer knots.
so that my inner knots, these strong, restricting, inner knots.
will come undone too.
yes!
death therapy cured me!
yes! i used to be so afraid of everything, it was like dying a thousand deaths a day. now, that you showed me i have only one death to be afraid of, i'm not afraid of anything anymore!
don't be so modest!
dr. m.?
dr. m., i'm really cured!
did somebody leave the gas on?
dr. m., your family loves you.
dr. m. you have the crown jewels of england all around you. you have a wife with a generous heart. you have great kids and an incredible sister.
dr. m, you have a fam!
you know, i'm beginning to think you're an ingrate.
people are miserable all over the world and you're killing yourself? you should be ashamed.
maybe i was wrong about you.
maybe you're not so good after all.
i understand. sure.
tough business.
i'm going over here. i'll be right over here.
okay, i'm with siggy.
try ass wipe of the universe.
excellent.