at ease! how are you, captain.
we just try to keep the general part quiet.
well, to put it in one sentence, people don't expect major generals to carry firewood.
at ease!
never thought i'd make it, he? . matter of fact, it's worse than that. i own this hotel.
if i start the introductions, can i get to meet these young ladies? my housekeeper, miss martha allen, my granddaughter, susan waverly.
why? we have a floor, haven't we?
even if it's only to you and me, it will be well worth it. besides, there will be six inches of snow tonight and we'll be full up tomorrow.
no. but if there was one thing i learned in the army it was to be positive -- especially when you don't know what you're talking about. you'll excuse me, gentlemen, i'm on k.p.
and you two charming ladies, i want you to know i'm looking forward to your show this evening. whatever your audience lacks in numbers, it will make up for in enthusiasm -- or i'll know the reason why!
excellent. i enjoyed it very much.
well, for heaven's sake!
never heard of anything so ridiculous. your next performance is tomorrow night, after dinner. be here, or i'll sue!
i'm not clear about some of it. explain it again.
i know about business being bad. go on.
why here? phil looks to bob for help as they move toward the lobby.
where are you going to get the audience?
i would think so. how will they know you're here?
hmm. whose blood?
apparently there must be a lot about show business i don't understand.
you weren't any good as privates!
only to confuse the enemy.
i'm afraid i disagree. the song is funny, but there is one thing wrong with it.
it's true. i'd rather you didn't.
thank you.
glad to help.
well now, i wouldn't bet any large sum of money on that, since i took the message over the telephone, and i had to deliver the telegram. and she didn't tip me, either.
must be interesting to be a woman.
well, think about it. well?
a man like you must be an expert on women.
they couldn't fool you?
'pride goeth before a fall.'
it's always a pleasure to meet an expert in any field. tell me, why do you think betty went to new york?
expert, you're wrong! she went to new york because she's so in love with someone here she just couldn't stand it.
i thought you were an expert on women. come on, delilah!
i'm too young for that sort of thing.
kind of warm for that kind of exercise, isn't it?
they're cumulus clouds, at an elevation of seven thousand feet.
i'll tell you something i haven't told my family. i'm going back in the army.
yes. i miss the army.
well, i'm not sure yet. i've always been a combat officer, but i got an idea they're going to try and palm off one of the training commands on me. they'd better not. they just better not. i'm not ready for pitching horseshoes yet. now nothing to the women folk about this!
let's mosey over to the post office, i'm expecting a letter any day.
this is the one. my glasses are in my room. i'd like to read it by myself, but i'm a little anxious. read it, son. slowly.
skip that word.
old tom.
the rest of the letter is about the family. he's telling me they have nothing for me, we're not fooling each other. thank you. say, it couldn't be hard to learn to pitch horseshoes. now could it?
never kid a kidder. go on back to the hotel.
ed harrison will be on in a half minute. i like him. i never miss him.
what's that?
take it easy, boy.
no it isn't! you may have a bad sprain, but no bones are busted!
let me help you.
that's just the impression you have! i tell you it's only shock!
take it easy, boy!
nobody's leaving you! martha, get me a cold towel!
things still going around?
this'll bring him out of it.
he's all right.
how could you send all my suits to the cleaners?
i won't appear in uniform!
absolutely not!
i'll have you court-martialed!
martha, i'll make my own decisions! i got along very well in the army without you!
well, i couldn't come down in my bathrobe.
i am not satisfied with the conduct of this division! some of you men are under the impression that having been at anzio entitles you not to wear neckties! you are wrong! neckties will be worn in this area! i have also noticed a deterioration in the quality of saluting! this is to be improved! i have also had complaints from the commanding officer of the rest area in naples! he informs me that the non-fraternization rule is constantly being broken by men of this division! in fact, this division is outstanding in its violations of non-fraternization! you all know the rules! the non- fraternization ban expressly declares you are not to talk to women! don't talk to them! that is all!
hurry up, hurry up, i'm busy. yes, this is general waverly.
and a merry christmas to you, mr. president.  yes, practically the whole outfit is here. a little paunchy, but they're here. it certainly was a surprise -- more like a frameup. as usual, my intelligence was not functioning efficiently.  yes? that's very nice of you, mr. president.  any time you want me, just say the word.  but may i add this? it isn't always necessary to take a job.  sometimes it's enough just to know it's there.
if you ever take it into your mind to grab a little rest from all that work i wish you'd drop in on us here -- i can't promise you any golf but -- -- we can certainly give you plenty of snow, mr, president.  yes, mr. president.  what? thanks, ike.