hold fast that polliwog and make him presentable.
let it be known that on this day in the year nineteen hundred and sixty- one there appeared within the limits of my royal kingdom, the sailing ship brigantine albatross, bound for galapagos. all vessels that sail my domain shall be subject to the scrutiny of the underworld.
silence!!!
tonight you shall all enter the order of the shellbacks. only when you have been duly initiated shall you enjoy the mysteries and protection of the trident. so, let the festivities begin.
by virtue of the power inherited by me, i do hereby command all of my subjects, such as mermaids, sea serpents, dolphins, whales, sharks and turtles, from eating, playing with, or otherwise molesting this vessel or her crew. let it be remembered that on this, my equatorial domain on longitude 88' 20' 13" on this 532nd in the year of the dolphin, you entered the order of the shellbacks!!